ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN.

"JES, READ THIS BOOK WHEN YOU GET HOMESICK, IT WILL HELP…………..”

THESE ARE SOME OF THE WORDS MY MOMMA WROTE TO ME IN A BOOK SHE GAVE ME ON THE DAY I MOVED OUT AFTER GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW THEY’D BE WORDS THAT BROUGHT COMFORT EVEN AFTER HER DAYS HERE WERE OVER.

TODAY’S JUST BEEN WEIRD. I’M TIRED, I’M JUST EXTREMELY WORN OUT. I DON’T KNOW WHY. WELL, LIFE IS WHY. BUT IT’S ALWAYS TOUGHER DEALING WITH THIS GRIEF WHEN I’M TIRED, ALONE, OR ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT. SHE ALWAYS TOLD ME EVERYTHING WAS SCARIER AND HARDER AT NIGHTTIME, AND SHE WAS SO RIGHT. THANK GOD FOR HIS WORDS THAT ECHO LOUDLY IN MY HEAD AND HEART IN THIS MOMENT:

“AND HE HAS SAID TO ME, “MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR POWER IS PERFECTED IN WEAKNESS.” MOST GLADLY, THEREFORE, I WILL RATHER BOAST ABOUT MY WEAKNESSES SO THAT THE POWER OF CHRIST MAY DWELL IN ME. THEREFORE I AM WELL CONTENT WITH WEAKNESSES, WITH INSULTS, WITH DISTRESSES, WITH PERSECUTIONS, WITH DIFFICULTIES, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE; FOR WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN I AM STRONG.” *II CORINTHIANS*

I WILL THANK HIM FOR HIS GOODNESS, EVEN WHILE ENDURING THE HARDSHIPS, THE GRIEF, AND THE LETDOWNS WE HAVE TO ENDURE WHILE LIVING IN THESE BODIES ON THIS EARTH…….AREN’T WE ALL HOMESICK??…AND ONE DAY THAT WILL BE NO MORE……..THE OLD WILL BE DONE AWAY WITH, THE NEW IS YET TO COME. HOW I LONG FOR THAT.

GOOD COMPANY DOES A HEART GOOD.

THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS MY DADDY’S BIRTHDAY, SO IT WAS SO WONDERFUL THAT HE CAME TO SPEND TIME WITH MY SISTER AND ME THAT WEEKEND. I KNOW IT WAS AN EXTREMELY HARD ONE FOR HIM, AND I KNOW IT’LL ALWAYS BE HARD. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. HE TOOK DYLAN AND ME TO A DRIVING RANGE WITH HIM, BECAUSE HE JUST WANTED US TO BE THERE WHILE HE HIT SOME GOLF BALLS. IT WAS JUST SWEET HAVING HIM HERE.

AND THIS WEEK, KRYSTLE CAME TO STAY WITH ME AND BROUGHT HER LIL’ ONES. IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING TIME FOR ME!!!!! SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW GLAD I AM THAT SHE DROVE ALL THE WAY HERE TO HANG OUT WITH ME. WE WENT TO THE ZOO WITH THE BABIES, AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. (AND HOT OUTSIDE, TOO) SHE WAS HERE MONDAY AND LEFT TODAY. AND I SWEAR, IT ZIPPED BY. THE BABIES HAD FUN PLAYING, AND HER LITTLE GIRL AND DYLAN HAVE A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP. WE’RE SURE THEY’LL MARRY. LOL I’M JUST SO HAPPY SHE CAME, BUT SAD SHE HAD TO GO!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!

MEANWHILE LIFE IS GOING RIGHT ALONG. IT’S BEEN ALMOST SIX MONTHS SINCE MY MOMMA’S BEEN GONE. I MISS HER SO MUCH. OUR BIBLE STUDY THIS PAST MONDAY NIGHT WAS AMAZING. IT’S SO WONDERFUL TO SEE HOW GOD CAN MOVE AMONG A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST GATHERING TOGETHER AND BEING HONEST, LOVING, AND OPEN. WE SPENT SOME TIME TALKING ABOUT THE STUDY WE’RE DOING. AND THEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO FINISH THE BIBLE STUDY WITH DISCUSSING THE VIDEO WE WATCHED. AND THEN, BECAUSE A LADY BROUGHT UP GRIEF, WE SPENT THE LAST HUGE PART TALKING ABOUT GRIEF AND SORROW, AND HOW MUCH GOD LOVES TO GRIEVE WITH US….WHEN OFTENTIMES HIS CHILDREN FAIL TO BE THERE FOR THOSE EXPERIENCING SORROW. IT WAS AMAZING. ONE OF THE SWEET YOUNG LADIES WAS CRYING, BECAUSE HER ELDERLY MOMMA’S BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME, AND SHE WAS JUST THANKFUL TO HEAR AND TALK ABOUT SOME OF THE STUFF WE TALKED ABOUT……..AT ONE POINT IT EVEN BROUGHT HER TO TEARS……..

THE NEXT DAY HER SWEET MOMMA PASSED AWAY. PLEASE PRAY FOR HER AND HER FAMILY. HER MOTHER WAS SO OLD…….MY MOTHER WAS SO YOUNG…….BUT THE AGE NEVER MATTERS. WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE, IT’S ALWAYS TOO SOON. AND NOTHING IN THIS LIFE WILL FIX IT. THE ONLY THING THAT FIXES THE ABSENCE OF OUR LOVED ONES IS THE PROMISE OF KNOWING WE WILL SEE THEM AGAIN…AND DEATH CAN’T HAVE A SAY SO IN THAT TIME.

THIS REMINDS ME OF ALL THE TIMES I’VE HEARD, “DON’T BE SO SAD…..THERE’S A TIME WHEN YOU WON’T BE SAD…..YOUR MOMMA WOULD WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND ENJOY LIFE…..AREN’T YOU HAPPY FOR YOUR MOMMA?.......TIME WILL MAKE IT BETTER……………”…….

ALL THE WHILE, WHILE GOD’S CHILDREN, WHO ARE CALLED TO BE THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER IN THE GOOD AND THE BAD…WHETHER THEY’VE EXPERIENCED THOSE THINGS OR NOT……….IN SPITE OF THIS FAILING BODY OF PEOPLE (WHICH I’M ALL TOO OFTEN A PART OF, LORD PLEASE FORGIVE ME OF MY SELFISHNESS…….)…….I CAN HEAR THE SWEET, LOVING, GENTLE, FEARSOME, PROMISING, SORROWFUL, POWERFUL, MEEK VOICE OF GOD SAYING, “DON’T WORRY, MY CHILD….I FEEL YOUR PAIN. AND I AM GRIEVING WITH YOU. I WILL BE GRIEVING WITH YOU UNTIL YOU AND YOUR MOMMA ARE REUNITED.”

DOES THIS MEAN I CONTINUE IN SADNESS CONSTANTLY? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! THERE’S SO MUCH GOOD HERE. THERE’S AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL THINGS I’VE YET TO EXPERIENCE IN THIS LIFE. IN THE SAME BREATH, THOUGH….THERE WILL PROBABLY BE MANY MORE SORROWFUL THINGS, TOO. I WILL TRY TO KEEP MY EYES OPEN TO GOD’S CHILDREN AROUND ME…AND REMEMBER THAT EVEN THOUGH THINGS MAY BE SMOOTH SAILING FOR ME, THERE’S PROBABLY SOMEONE I LOVE DEARLY WHO’S HURTING AND NEEDS SOMEONE THERE FOR THEM. SO UNTIL THEN, I LIVE EACH DAY THAT GOD GIVES ME, LEARNING THROUGH, FEELING THROUGH, DOING EVERYTHING I CAN THAT HE HAS CALLED ME TO DO, FORGIVING OTHERS THOUGH THEY DON’T ASK FOR IT, LOVING OTHERS WHO ARE UNLOVABLE, HOPING OTHERS WILL FORGIVE AND LOVE ME, CRYING WHEN I NEED TO, GRIEVING WHEN I NEED TO, LAUGHING WHEN I NEED TO, WORKING WHEN I NEED TO, RESTING WHEN I NEED TO…….ALL THE WHILE CLINGING TO THE HOPE THAT IS JESUS. THANK GOD FOR HIS LOVE AND GRACE. I ONLY HOPE IT IS BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE AND GRACE THAT I’M ABLE TO GIVE IT TO OTHERS…….WITHOUT RESERVE.