TODAY WAS PRETTY TOUGH. AS IF THERE’S NOT ALREADY A TON OF STUFF THAT I’M DEALING WITH AND MY FAMILY’S DEALING WITH, SOME OTHER HAPPENINGS DIDN’T HELP MUCH. THAT’S WHAT I HATE ABOUT ALL THIS. IT SEEMS AS THOUGH OTHER THINGS WOULDN’T MATTER SO MUCH, BUT IT’S AS IF SOMETIMES OTHER THINGS ARE JUST MAGNIFIED. UGH. I MISS MY MOMMA. I MISS MY DADDY. I’M READY FOR HIM TO BE HERE WITH US. I THINK IT WILL HELP ALL OF US WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER.

JIL IS HERE STAYING WITH ME, AND SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME. DARRYL HAD TO DO AN EIGHT HOUR DRIVE ALONE YESTERDAY, AND I COULDN’T GO, SO HER BEING HER HELPED A LOT. AND SHE AND JUSTIN ARE COMING BACK NEXT WEEKEND. J WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH. AND WE KNOW THEY LOVE US.

HILARIE SENT ME SOME AMAZING CDS OF SO MANY DIFFERENT SONGS, AND I LOVE THEM. SHE LITERALLY WENT THROUGH AND PICKED SPECIFIC SONGS, THAT SHE KNEW WOULD HELP ME. AND ON TOP OF TAKING THE TIME FOR THAT, SHE TYPED OUT A FULL LETTER WITH A DESCRIPTION OF SAID SONGS…SHEESH. SHE LOVES ME, WHAT CAN I SAY?

FOR NOW, WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE HAPPENINGS THAT FOLLOW ONE OF THESE HORRIBLE SITUATIONS. TODAY WAS SO ODD, BECAUSE MY MOMMA AND DADDY’S THINGS WERE BROUGHT HERE, WE’RE KEEPING A LOT OF THEIR FURNITURE, AND STORING THE REST AND MY SISTER’S GETTING SOME. IT WAS SUCH AN INDESCRIBABLE FEELING TO SEE THEM BRINGING MY MOMMA’S THINGS IN HERE. I MEAN, WHY WERE THESE THINGS BEING BROUGHT HERE? THIS IS HER STUFF, TAKE IT BACK TO HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THAT’S WHAT I KEPT THINKING. AND THEN LAST NIGHT THROUGH THE DAY, THROUGH ALL THE FRUSTRATION, I KEPT WANTING TO CALL HER AND JUST TELL HER ABOUT EVERYTHING. I WANTED TO CALL HER AND TELL HER HOW UPSET I WAS ABOUT SO MANY THINGS, AND HOW I COULDN’T REALLY DEPEND ON MANY OTHER PEOPLE, BUT I COULD ALWAYS DEPEND ON HER. SO MANY TIMES, ALL DAY LONG. I DO THAT CONSTANTLY…WANT TO CALL HER. EVERYTIME ANY LITTLE THING HAPPENS DURING THE DAY, I WANT TO CALL HER AND TELL HER ABOUT IT. I CAN’T EXPLAIN THE HURT. THERE’S AN AMAZING BOOK BY C.S. LEWIS CALLED “A GRIEF OBSERVED” THAT HAS REALLY HELPED ME. IT’S A SHORT READ, BUT IT IS AS IF HE WROTE DOWN SO MANY OF MY THOUGHTS YEARS AGO, BEFORE I WAS EVER BORN. DARRYL KEPT TELLING ME AFTER I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT THAT I WAS SOUNDING LIKE C.S. LEWIS. SO, I WAS INTRIGUED ENOUGH TO READ IT. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS TO ANYONE WHO HAS LOST A TRULY CLOSE, LOVED ONE.

I’M SURE THERE’S MORE I COULD BLOG ABOUT, BUT THAT’S IT FOR NOW. BUSY, BUSY DAY AHEAD. AND EVENING, TOO. HUG YOUR FAMILY. DON’T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED. I’VE SEEN PEOPLE DO THAT SO MUCH, AND IT ACHES MY HEART. I’M SO FRUSTRATED WITH THAT. I KNOW YOU CAN’T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THAT. I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR PARENTS, THEIR SPOUSES, AND THEIR CHILDREN FOR GRANTED. IT’S SICKENING. BE THANKFUL FOR WHOM YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN.

FROM LATE LAST NIGHT.

I’M TYPING AND IT’S STORMING. NOT TOO BRIGHT. I’LL TRY TO BE QUICK.
IT’S AMAZING HOW THIS LIFE CAN CHANGE YOU. I JUST WANTED TO SHARE A BIT OF WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN DECEMBER 3RD AND DECEMBER 4TH. DARRYL AND I HAD GONE ON A DATE, AND IT WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL TIME. YOU CAN SEE FROM MY POST ON DECEMBER 3RD THAT IT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY. WE ALWAYS HAVE GOOD DATES, BUT THAT PARTICULAR NIGHT WAS SO AMAZING. EVERYTHING WENT WELL, AND I TALKED TO MY MOMMA PROBABLY THREE TIMES DURING MY DATE. YES, WE TALKED ALL THE TIME. NOBODY KNOWS ME LIKE SHE DOES. OF COURSE, DARRYL HAS NEVER MINDED. HE’S ALWAYS ENCOURAGED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOMMA. ONE OF THE TIMES I CALLED HER THAT NIGHT, I ASKED HER IF I WAS BUGGING HER (KNOWING THAT I WASN’T, I JUST WANTED HER TO TELL ME IT WAS OKAY FOR SOME REASON). SHE SAID, “BABY, YOU KNOW I DON’T CARE. YOU CAN CALL ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT”. AND WE GIGGLED ABOUT IT. SHE ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL WELCOME, EVEN WHEN I KNEW SHE WAS BUSY BEYOND BELIEF. SHE ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL LIKE AN AMAZING DAUGHTER. SHE WAS ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE I ACTUALLY BELIEVED WHEN SHE TOLD ME I WAS BEAUTIFUL. I REMEMBER SO MANY TIMES WHILE I WAS GROWING UP AT HOME, I’D LOOK AT SOME GORGEOUS MODEL ON THE FRONT OF A MAGAZINE, OR AN AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL ACTRESS, AND SAY, “MOMMA, ISN’T SHE PRETTY?”…SHE’D ALWAYS SAY, WITHOUT HESITATION, “NOT AS PRETTY AS YOU ARE”. I USED TO THINK WHEN I WAS YOUNG THAT SHE HAD TO SAY THAT. NOW I KNOW THAT SHE’D ALWAYS MEANT IT.

THAT SAME NIGHT, ON OUR DATE, SHE CALLED TO TALK TO DYLAN. SHE LOVED TO CALL HIM EVERYDAY, ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS ON A DATE. THAT NIGHT, FOR SOME REASON, HE DID SOMETHING HE’D NEVER DONE BEFORE. HE KEPT ASKING, “NANA, AWE YOU OKAY?...NANA, AWE YOU OKAY?”…HE ASKED ABOUT TEN TIMES IN A ROW. SHE JUST GIGGLED AND KEPT TELLING HIM, “YES, BABY, NANA’S OKAY, I’M FINE”.

I SPOKE WITH HER SEVERAL TIMES ON DECEMBER 4TH, AND THE LAST TIMES WE SPOKE WERE AT 4:11 AND 6:08P.M. I KEPT ASKING HER WHAT SHE WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS, THOUGH I HAD JUST ORDERED HER AN AMAZING GIFT THAT MORNING FROM MYSELF AND MY SISTER. THIS TIME, THOUGH, SHE SAID, “I JUST WANT GOOD HEALTH, THAT’S ALL”. THAT WAS OUR LAST CONVERSATION.

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I GO OVER THOSE LAST CONVERSATIONS, AND WISH I’D NEVER GOTTEN THAT PHONE CALL A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER.

WHAT WE, MY DADDY, SISTER, AND MYSELF ALL HAD TO GO THROUGH THE NEXT 11 DAYS WAS PURE HELL. I WON’T EVEN TRY TO DESCRIBE IT ALL. WE WERE ASKED QUESTIONS THAT NOBODY IS EVER PREPARED TO ANSWER. WE WERE FACED WITH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY IS EVER PREPARED TO MAKE. I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAS ALL HAPPENED. AND I WILL ALSO NEVER TRY TO FIND THE ANSWER, BECAUSE I KNOW THERE ISN’T ONE.

I’M NOT SURE WHY I POSTED ALL THIS. MAYBE TO LET SOMEONE KNOW PART OF THE STORY. THAT IS ONE OF THE HARDER PARTS IN DEALING WITH THIS. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN ONE HAS LOST A LOVED ONE THAT THEY WONDER IF ANYONE ELSE REALLY CARES. THEY WONDER WHY MORE PEOPLE AREN’T TALKING ABOUT IT. YET, AT THE SAME TIME, THEY DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. ONE ALSO WONDERS WHY THE WHOLE WORLD DIDN’T STOP. WHY IS EVERYONE STILL GOING ON LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED? I JUST LOST A PART OF ME…DOES ANYONE CARE?.......THOSE ARE ALL FEELINGS THAT COME WITH THIS SORT OF LOSS. I KNOW MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS CARE. THEY CARE SO DEEPLY, THEY HURT FOR ME. AND THAT’S WHY I LOVE THEM.

ANOTHER FEELING THAT ACCOMPANIES EVERYTHING ELSE (AS IF IT ALL WEREN’T ENOUGH) IS THE FEELING OF BEING ALONE. I CAN’T TELL YOU ABOUT IT, I REALLY CAN’T EXPLAIN IT. I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY 20-50 PEOPLE IN ONE SETTING THE PAST FEW WEEKS, AND FELT TOTALLY ALONE. I HAVE BEEN HUGGED BY PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME AND FELT TOTALLY ALONE. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY DADDY, SISTER, HUSBAND, SON, AND FELT TOTALLY ALONE. THE ONLY WAY I CAN EVEN SORT OF PUT IT INTO WORDS IS THAT IT FEELS AS IF A HUGE PART OF MY BODY AND SOUL HAS BEEN AMPUTATED, AND NOW I HAVE TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GO ON, HOW TO LIVE, HOW TO STILL DEAL WITH EVERYTHING THAT’S STILL HAPPENING IN THIS LIFE WITHOUT THAT VERY IMPORTANT PART OF ME. THAT IS THE REALITY OF NOW FOR ME.

YET IN THE MIDST OF ALL THE SADNESS AND MOURNING IS HOPE. THERE IS THE HOPE OF KNOWING THAT I WILL SEE MY MOMMA AGAIN, AND THE NEXT TIME, WE WON’T HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE. SHE HAS ALL OF HER QUESTIONS THAT SHE HAD ON THIS EARTH ANSWERED. I WANT TO SHARE A FEW LYRICS FROM A SONG THAT HAS REMINDED ME OF HER THROUGH ALL OF THIS. WE HAD JUST BOUGHT THIS CD THE NIGHT OF OUR DATE, IT’S OVER THE RHINE’S “TRUMPET CHILD” ALBUM. IT MAKES ME GRIN TO HEAR IT, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME THINK OF THE GLORIOUS TIME MY MOMMA IS EXPERIENCING NOW, THE TIME THAT SHE WILL NEVER HAVE TO STOP EXPERIENCING. IT MAKES ME SMILE A LITTLE THROUGH THIS, AT LEAST KNOWING THAT WHILE I’M MOURNING HER AND I ALWAYS WILL, SHE MISSES ME…BUT SHE KNOWS WHAT AWAITS ME. THIS SONG IS ACTUALLY A LOVE SONG, AND I THINK OF HER LOVE STORY WITH THE LORD…

“BLACK FLAMENCO SHOES
DAHLIAS IN MY HAIR
GARTERS ON MY STOCKINGS
THE SIDEWALK BENDS TO STARE
I’M ON A ROLL

…….

AMBITION MAY BE BLIND
DIAMONDS COME FROM COAL
YOU PROVIDE THE RHYTHM BABE
I’LL PROVIDE THE SOUL
I’M ON A ROLL…

I’M ON A ROLL
JUST LIKE I OUGHTA
I’M ON A ROLL
I CAN’T BE BOTHERED
I’M ON A ROLL
I WANT THE WHOLE ENCHILADA
I’M ON A ROLL


I’M ON A ROLL, JUST LIKE I OUGHTA
I’M ON A ROLL, I CAN’T BE BOTHERED
I’M ON A ROLL, I WANT THE WHOLE ENCHILADA
I’M ON A ROLL, CINCINNATI TO ENSANADA
I’M ON A ROLL, FROM THE THRIFT STORE TO PRADA
I’M ON A ROLL, LA DA DEE DA DE DA DAH…
I’M ON A ROLL.

A WHOLE NEW MEANING OF NEEDY.

IT’S ODD THAT EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN’T SAT DOWN AND HAD “BIBLE STUDY”, OR SAT AND PRAYED FOR HOURS, OR BELTED OUT WORSHIP SONGS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, OR MEMORIZED WHOLE CHAPTERS OF THE BIBLE, OR LED WORSHIP AT CHURCH, OR READ A GOOD “CHRISTIAN” BOOK, OR DONE ANY THINGS THAT WE DEEM SPIRITUAL…RIGHT NOW I KNOW THAT I’M CLOSER TO THE LORD THAN I EVER HAVE BEEN IN MY LIFE. NOT BY MY CHOOSING, OR BY ANY POWER OF MY OWN, BUT BECAUSE I AM SO VULNERABLE, SO NEEDY, AND HE KNOWS THAT. I KNOW I AM CLOSE TO HIM RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I KNOW THE HOLY SPIRIT, ALONG WITH MY MOMMA, AND ALL THE OTHER SAINTS, ARE PRAYING FOR ME BECAUSE I JUST CAN’T FIND THE WORDS IN OUR SIMPLE LITTLE LANGUAGE TO PRAY. THERE ARE NO MERE WORDS TO DESCRIBE TO THE LORD MY HEART’S CRIES. AND I BELIEVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART THAT’S WHY THE SPIRIT AND THE SAINTS INTERCEDE. IT’S WEIRD THAT AT A TIME WHEN I’M SO HOPELESS YET HOPEFUL, EMPTY YET FULL, GRIEVE-STRICKEN, ANGRY, NEEDY, FRUSTRATED, ABANDONED, AND SO MANY OTHER “FEELINGS” AT THE SAME TIME…IN THIS TIME, I AM THE NEEDIEST. IN THIS TIME, ONLY THE LORD KNOWS WHAT’S IN MY HEART, SOUL, AND MIND. ONLY HE CAN UNDERSTAND. AS MUCH AS MY LOVED ONES TRY TO RELATE, (WHICH IS SO DEAR TO ME) HE IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS. HE KNOWS BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE WHO TOOK HER. HE KNOWS BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL ONE DAY RE-UNITE ME WITH HER. HE KNOWS BECAUSE HE HAS EXPERIENCED WATCHING ONE OF HIS BELOVED DIE IN FRONT OF HIS EYES. HE KNOWS THE FEELING OF SEEING ONE OF HIS BELOVED LYING ALMOST LIFELESS IN FRONT OF HIS EYES FOR DAYS ON END, AS WE DID. HE KNOWS THE FEELING OF WANTING THAT PERSON TO JUST WAKE UP AND SPEAK TO YOU, HUG YOU, HOLD YOUR HAND. HE KNOWS THE FEELING OF WANTING TO HEAR THAT LOVED ONE’S VOICE ONCE AGAIN. HE KNOWS BECAUSE HE’S PUT ME HERE RIGHT NOW, GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS, JUST AS HE HAS PUT MY DADDY AND SISTER HERE. HE KNOWS THE HURT WE FEEL. HE KNOWS OUR BURNING QUESTIONS. AND HE KNOWS THAT HE WON’T GIVE US AN ANSWER UNTIL WE SEE HIM THERE WITH MY MOMMA THAT GLORIOUS DAY THAT HE HAS ALREADY PLANNED.

DON’T TELL ME IT WILL BE OKAY
I KNOW THAT IT WON’T.
DON’T TELL ME TIME WILL HEAL IT,
I KNOW THAT IT WON’T.

I WON’T GO CHASING AN IDEA
THAT I’LL BE OKAY WITH THIS ONE DAY.
I WON’T GO CHASING AN IDEA
THAT ALL THESE FEELINGS WILL GO AWAY.

THE HOPE I HAVE IS NOT IN THIS LIFE,
IT’S NOT IN THE THINGS I DESIRE
IT’S IN THE LORD I SERVE,
AND HIS ALL-CONSUMING FIRE.

THE HOPE I HAVE IS JUST THAT, HIM.
AND NOTHING MORE WILL DO.
I WILL WAIT FOR THINGS TO BE MADE RIGHT
WHEN THE SHOFAR SOUNDS, AND WE’RE NEW.

I'VE BEEN CHANGED SO MUCH THROUGH ALL OF THIS. NOT BY MY CHOOSING, OF COURSE. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO OPTIMISTIC, IT'S CRAZY. AND NOW, I THINK THAT PART OF ME IS GONE. NOT THAT I'M HOPELESS, OR EVEN PESSIMISTIC. I THINK I'M JUST MORE OF A REALIST NOW. I'M NOT FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK THAT I DESERVE ANY BETTER OF A LOT IN LIFE THAN CHRIST...I MEAN, HE WAS CRUCIFIED. AND HE'S THE ONE I FOLLOW. SO I CAN'T EXPECT FOR EVERYTHING TO BE ROSES ALL THE TIME. (SO MUCH FOR PROSPERITY PREACHING) BUT, I WILL SAY THIS. MY HEART HAS BEEN CHANGED SO MUCH-IN AN INSTANT. THERE'S NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW SOMETHING SO TRAUMATIC CAN INSTANTLY ROCK YOU TO THE CORE.
ONE THING THAT HAS TOTALLY BEEN ALTERED FOR ME IS PRAYER. THINK ABOUT IT. WHAT DID YOU PRAY FOR TODAY? OR DID YOU? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN INCESSANTLY ASKING THE LORD FOR? SHOULD YOU EVEN BE ASKING FOR IT?
I CAN'T PRAY SELFISHLY ANYMORE. NOT BECAUSE IT'S THE "NOBLE" THING TO DO, BUT BECAUSE I CAN'T, FOR MY SAKE. IF I PUT MY HOPE IN THE LORD ANSWERING A PRAYER OF MINE AND HE DOESN'T ANSWER IT...MY HOPE WILL BE SHATTERED. BUT IF I SIMPLY HOPE IN THE ONE I'M PRAYING TO...NOTHING CAN BE SHATTERED. BECAUSE NO MATTER THE CRIES OF MY HEART, NO MATTER THE HOURS I SPEND PRAYING, NO MATTER THE TIME SPENT ON FASTING...THOUGH ALL THOSE THINGS DO MOVE THE HEART OF GOD...ULTIMATELY, HE WILL MAKE THE DECISION. AND SO, A PRAYER SHOULD BE JUST THAT. HIS WILL BE DONE. BECAUSE WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT, THAT'S THE WAY IT WILL HAPPEN. EVEN AS HE CHOOSES TO PUT ME THROUGH THE FIRE, I WILL STILL FOLLOW HIM. I MAY NOT BE HAPPY, I MAY NOT EVEN TRUST THAT I'LL BE OKAY, I MAY BE FRIGHTENED...BUT THAT'S NOT HIS INTEREST. HIS INTEREST IS NOT MY HAPPINESS, NOR MY WELL-BEING. (DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY HEAR BEING PREACHED BEHIND THE PULPIT IN AMERICA NOW-A-DAYS) HIS INTEREST IS NOT THAT I HAVE ALL THAT I WANT, THAT I HAVE A GOOD PAYING JOB, THAT I HAVE GOOD HEALTH, THAT MY LOVED ONES HAVE GOOD HEALTH. HIS INTEREST IS NOT THAT I AM HAPPY ALL THE TIME, AND ALL THOSE AROUND ME ARE HAPPY, TOO. HIS INTEREST IS NOT THAT I HAVE ALL THE THINGS I DESIRE. HIS INTEREST IS NOT THAT I LIVE AN IDEAL LIFE, WITH HOWEVER MANY CHILDREN I WANT, IN THE PERFECT HOUSE, WITH THE PERFECT INCOME...NO, NO, NO. HIS INTEREST IS HIS KINGDOM BEING FULFILLED. AND THAT'S WHAT I'VE CHOSEN TO SERVE. SO WHETHER I PRAY FOR THINGS TO BE DONE A CERTAIN WAY HERE ON EARTH OR NOT, HE WILL CHOOSE WHATEVER FULFILLS HIS KINGDOM. HIS WILL BE DONE. WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT.

"THOUGH HE SLAY ME, I WILL HOPE IN HIM." -JOB 13:15-

THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER LIVED THROUGH. I HAVEN’T THE SLIGHTEST IDEA ON HOW TO MOVE ON. WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE WHO IS PRACTICALLY CONNECTED TO YOU AT HEART, THEY EXPERIENCE IMMEDIATE HEALING…IMMEDIATE JOY…IMMEDIATE COMFORT FROM THE FATHER…THAT IS NOT SO FOR THE ONES LEFT HERE. WE LIVE ON WITH HEAVY HEARTS. THE FEELINGS IN MY INNERMOST BEING CANNOT BE CONTAINED IN MERE WORDS. I CRY, I MOURN, I LAUGH, I REMEMBER, I CRY SOME MORE. I HEAR KIND WORDS FROM PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME, BUT THEY AND I BOTH KNOW THAT THEY CAN’T SHARE THE SAME PAIN. AND THEN WHEN I SPEAK WITH SOMEONE WHO I HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO IN A WHILE, IT’S LIKE I HAVE TO RE-LIVE EVERYTHING. I HATE THAT PART. HOW EASY IT WOULD BE TO CLOSE MYSELF OFF IN ISOLATION. HOW EASY IT WOULD BE TO JUST BLOCK EVERYONE OUT. BUT THERE’S NO WAY I COULD EVER DO THAT. THERE ARE NO WORDS, THERE ARE NO THOUGHTS, THERE IS NO HELP THAT CAN HEAL THIS. WHAT HAS BEEN DONE WILL NOT BE UNDONE UNTIL THE TRUMPET SOUNDS. THAT IS WHAT I WAIT FOR. FOR NOW, THERE IS JUST BROKENNESS. I AM STILL TRYING TO TRUST, TO LEAN ON, AND TO PRAY TO THIS GOD OF SORROWS THAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW ALL OVER AGAIN. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME, EVEN NOW AS YOU READ THIS. I HATE TO EVEN BE THIS VULNERABLE ON MY PAGE, BUT I KNOW PEOPLE ARE WANTING TO KNOW WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE THOUGHTFULNESS FROM THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE CONCERNED. EVEN MORESO, PRAY FOR MY DADDY. HE WILL FOREVER LIVE WITH IMAGES THAT ARE FAR BEYOND ANYONE’S WORST NIGHTMARE. NOW, IN THE TIME OF MOURNING, OF GRIEVING, OF WEEPING, IS WHEN ONE DEPENDS ON THE PRAYERS OF THE SAINTS.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME, ESPECIALLY THOSE OF YOU WHO I KNOW HAVE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT ME AND PRAYING FOR ME...REBECCA, JIL, MANDOLYN, VICKI, ANDREA(MEEKANDQUIET). AND ANYONE ELSE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT, YOUR THOUGHTS ARE MOST WELCOME.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!

*DYLAN SNEAKING HIS B-DAY CAKE AT HIS AUNT'S HOUSE*

I WOKE UP NEXT TO MY HANDSOME HUSBAND...I HARDLY GET TO SEE HIM IN THE MORNINGS, BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS UP AND GONE SO EARLY. MY LIL' BABY SLEPT IN THIS MORNING...WHICH NEVER HAPPENS!!! ALL THE WINDOWS ARE OPENED, BECAUSE THE SUN IS RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS TODAY. AS I WAS EATING MY APPLE WITH MY COFFEE, DYLAN CAME UP AND WANTED A BITE...(YEAH, RIGHT, ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS IT'S A TASK GETTING HIM TO EAT ANYTHING, LET ALONE SOMETHING HEALTHY...) SO I HUMOR HIM...HE THEN EATS ALMOST MY WHOLE APPLE, THEN ASKS FOR ANOTHER. WHAT?!?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT WITH THAT HANDSOME MAN I WOKE UP TO. THANK THE LORD FOR EVERYTHING, EVEN THE BAD DAYS...BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M THANKING HIM FOR TODAY.

"COME ON IN, BOYS...THE WATER IS FINE."

FROM: "OH, BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?"

"BUT PROVE YOURSELVES DOERS OF THE WORD, AND NOT MERELY HEARERS WHO DELUDE THEMELVES." -JAMES 1:22-

HI BLOGWORLD!! OUR NET'S BEEN BROKEN FOR A FEW WEEKS. WELL, OUR PHONE LINE, ACTUALLY. ANYWAY, LOTS HAPPENING. HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!



I MADE MY HUSBAND MAD THE OTHER DAY (WELL, JUST FRUSTRATED, BUT THEN HE WAS GLAD) BECAUSE I WAS JUST IN A CRAZY MOOD, AND I MOVED ALL OF OUR BEDROOM FURNITURE IN OUR ROOM...BY MYSELF...ALL OF IT. :) TWO DRESSERS, AND A BED WITH THE FRAME. IT WAS QUITE INTERESTING. HE JUST DIDN'T LIKE THAT I DID ALL THAT BY MYSELF, HE LIKES TO DO ALL THE "MAN STUFF"...HE LIKES TAKING CARE OF ME LIKE THAT. MY ARM MUSCLES WERE KILLING ME THE TWO DAYS AFTER THAT. BUT IT LOOKS GOOD! :)



"THIS IS THE DAY WHICH THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT."

A BUDDHIST ONCE TOLD A CHRISTIAN: "YOUR CHRIST IS WONDERFUL, OH, SO WONDERFUL; BUT YOU CHRISTIANS, YOU ARE NOT LIKE HIM."

1. I WILL BE SAD WHEN ALL THE PUMPKIN ITEMS (CREAMER, CANDLES, LOTIONS, SOAPS, ETC) WILL BE TAKEN OFF THE SHELVES. MAN. I LOVE THAT STUFF!!!

2. WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF WATCHING THE FIRST SEASON OF “THE OFFICE”. HAHAHA. IT’S HILARIOUS. (HEY, I KNOW IT’S OLD…WHEN YOU HAVE A LITTLE ONE, YOUR T.V. DAYS ARE OVER….THANK GOD FOR NETFLIX, THE ONLY WAY WE GET TO WATCH STUFF IS WHEN DYLAN’S ASLEEP)

3. DYLAN’S GOING THROUGH A “I HAVE TO BE NEAR YOU, SEE YOU, OR BE RIGHT ON YOUR LAP ALL THE TIME” PHASE. (OF COURSE, I DON’T MIND, I LOVE THAT BABY) BUT THE ONLY TIME IT’S A LITTLE CRAZY IS AT NAP/BEDTIME. HE INSISTS ON THE DOOR BEING OPEN, AND ME BEING IN PLAIN VIEW FOR HIM TO SLEEP. IF I HAVE TO GET UP TO GO PEE IN THIS TIME PERIOD, HE CRIES LIKE I’VE LEFT HIM ABANDONED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. IT’S QUITE HEART-BREAKING. HE’S NOT BEING DOMINANT, SPOILED, OR REBELLIOUS. (I’VE TESTED ALL THOSE THEORIES) HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW I’M THERE. POOR LIL’ MAN. ANYWAY, NOW AT BEDTIME I REFER TO HIM AS THE OL’ BALL AND CHAIN!! J

4. FALL IS BEAUTIFUL!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH. YET, I AM ABOUT TO DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS…….I SWEAR I COULD LIVE IN WHOVILLE AND BE TOTALLY HAPPY.

5. WE ARE GOING ON A WEEK OF VACATION!! YAY!! DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING, BUT OH WELL. AND, MOST OF THE TIME, MY HUSBAND WILL BE AWAY AT SOME LECTURES. SO, I’LL IN ESSENCE BE DOING THE SAME THING I DO HERE (LAUNDRY, CLEANING, CHANGING PULL-UPS FROM WHEN LIL’ MAN DOESN’T MAKE IT TO THE POTTY, FEEDING HIM AND CLEANING UP, HOMESCHOOLING, STUDYING, ETC, ETC….) AT ANOTHER PLACE. I’M NOT NAÏVE. :) I KNOW ALL MOMMAS HAVE TO DO THIS!! (OR GET TO…I LOVE IT) ON THE UPSIDE, I’LL BE STAYING PART OF THAT WEEK WITH MY SISTER…THAT’LL BE SO FUN!!! I LOVE SISTER. (I LIKE TO JUST CALL HER THAT..”SISTER”…WHICH SOMETIMES GETS TURNED INTO “THITHER”…BECAUSE I’M THE BABY ONE.)

6. LOTS OF CHANGES ARE ABOUT TO BE TAKING PLACE IN OUR LIVES…I AM ASKING FOR PRAYER. I KNOW LOTS OF YOU ARE PRAYER WARRIORS, AND I’D APPRECIATE IT. THESE ARE GOOD CHANGES, BUT STILL…CHANGE ALWAYS SHAKES THINGS UP A LITTLE BIT.

7. JOKES. HERE’S A FEW THAT CRACKED ME UP…

“KNOCK KNOCK…WHO’S THERE?...GOLIATH…GOLIATH WHO?...GOLIATH DOWN, YOU LOOKETH TIRED.” HAHAHA

“TWO PEANUTS WALK INTO A BAR, AND ONE WAS A SALTED.”

“DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE DYSLEXIC WHO WALKED INTO THE BRA?” (I’M IN NO WAY TRYING TO OFFEND ANY DYSLEXIC READERS, BUT THIS WAS HIARIOUS)

“HOW MANY BAPTISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?.......CHANGE?... “
HAHAHA (I CAN TELL THIS ONE, I’M AFFILIATED WITH THIS DENOMINATION…THEREFORE I CLAIM ALL RIGHTS TO MAKE FUN OF US :)

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MOM WHO GOT A VACATION.?, ALL ALONE, JUST BY HERSELF, NO HUSBAND, NO CHILDREN, NO LAUNDRY, NO DIRTY DISHES, NO CLEANING WHATSOVER…JUST PURE QUIETNESS AND RELAXATION…
DON’T WORRY, I DIDN’T EITHER.

TWO COWS STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN A FIELD. DAISY SAYS TO DOLLY, “I WAS ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED THIS MORNING”. “I DON’T BELIEVE YOU,” SAYS DOLLY. “IT’S TRUE, NO BULL!” EXLAIMS DAISY.


The king of an ancient tribal village lived in a massive grass palace atop the highest hill. He was so loved by the villagers that every year, they would go into the surrounding forest, cut down the mightiest tree, and hand-carve a new throne for his birthday. The king, upon receiving the new throne, would promptly stow the old throne in the attic, which happened to be right above his bedroom.This continued on for many, many years. One night, as the king slept, the massive weight from the thrones of years past came crashing through the bedroom ceiling onto the sleeping form of the king. He was killed instantly.The moral of the story? People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones!



HAHAHA. HOPE I GOT SOME GIGGLES.


AND NOW FOR ANOTHER FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE AND QUOTE:

“IF WE ARE FAITHLESS, HE REMAINS FAITHFUL, FOR HE CANNOT DENY HIMSELF.” -II TIMOTHY 2:13-


WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO LOOK AT A COW AND SAY, “I THINK I’LL SQUEEZE THESE DAINGLY THINGS HERE AND DRINK WHAT COMES OUT”? (SEEN AT GOODQUOTES.COM)

LIL' BIT RANDOM

COME ON OVER.
YOU NEED MAKE NO APPOINTMENT.
COME ON OVER.
THERE’S NEVER ANY RESENTMENT.

TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY
FROM THE SIN THAT’S GOT YOU DOWN
TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY
DON’T STAY AND HANG AROUND!

I KNOW YOU THINK YOU CAN’T
BUT REMEMBER, YOU CAN WITH ME
I KNOW YOU THINK YOU CAN’T,
BUT STAYING THERE, YOU’RE NEVER FREE.

REPENTANCE IS SO EASY,
JUST DO IT ONCE AND YOU’RE DONE.
REPENTANCE IS SO EASY,
YOU KNOW I’M YOU’RE ONLY TRUE ONE.

DON’T DWELL IN YOUR MISTAKES,
BRING THEM TO ME AND JUST TURN AWAY,
DON’T DWELL IN YOUR MISTAKES,
NO MATTER WHAT ANY OTHERS SAY.

MY LOVE FOR YOU HASN’T CHANGED,
THOUGH YOU THINK THAT IT’S LESS
MY LOVE FOR YOU HASN’T CHANGED,
I’M STILL YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS.

REMEMBER, THOUGH YOU FALTER,
MY VIEW OF YOU IS THE SAME.
REMEMBER, THOUGH YOU FALTER,
YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON MY NAME.
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"FOR THE LORD IS GOOD; HIS LOVINGKINDNESS IS EVERLASTING AND HIS FAITHFULNESS TO ALL GENERATIONS." -PSALM 100:5-

""SHE WAS THE ARCHETYPAL SELFLESS MOTHER: LIVING ONLY FOR HER CHILDREN, SHELTERING THEM FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS--AND IN THE END DOING THEM IRREPARABLE HARM." -MARCIA MULLER-
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IF YOU'RE WANTING TO PUT BACK A LIL' CASH FOR THE HOLIDAYS, USE CLOTH DIAPERS AND/OR CLOTH OR HOMEMADE WIPIES ON THE BABIES...ONE COULD EASILY SAVE ABOUT A HUNDRED SMACKAROOS (THAT'S JUST FOR ONE LITTLE ONE IN DIAPERS/PULL-UPS) BETWEEN NOW AND BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!! IT'S SUPER EASY!

I FORGOT ABOUT PUTTING A VERSE AND A QUOTE WITH THE LAST SEVERAL BLOGS!! FOR THOSE OF YOU READING, HERE'S A LIL' "CATCH-UP" WITH THAT...SOME OF MY FAVORITES:

"BY AND LARGE, MOTHERS AND HOUSEWIVES ARE THE ONLY WORKERS WHO DO NOT HAVE REGULAR TIME OFF. THEY ARE THE GREAT VACATIONLESS CLASS."
-ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH-

"YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS ENOUGH UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH." -WILLIAM BLAKE-

"YOU WILL NEVER 'FIND' TIME FOR ANYTHING. IF YOU WANT TIME, YOU MUST MAKE IT." -CHARLES BURTON-

"DON'T LET WHAT YOU CAN'T DO INTERFERE WITH WHAT YOU CAN DO."
-JOHN WOODEN-

"TO LET FRIENDSHIP DIE AWAY BY NEGLIGENCE...IS TO VOLUNTARILY THROW AWAY ONE OF THE GREATEST COMFORTS OF THIS WEARY PILGRIMAGE."
-SAMUEL JOHNSON-

"THE LURE OF THE DISTANT AND THE DIFFICULT IS DECEPTIVE. THE GREAT OPPORTUNITY IS WHERE YOU ARE." -JOHN BURROUGHS-



"CEASE FROM ANGER AND FORSAKE WRATH; DO NOT FRET; IT LEADS ONLY TO EVILDOING." PSALM 37:8

"THE RICH AND THE POOR HAVE A COMMON BOND; THE LORD IS THE MAKER OF THEM ALL." PROVERBS 22:2

"THE MIND OF MAN PLANS HIS WAY, BUT THE LORD DIRECTS HIS STEPS."
PROVERBS 16:9

"HE WHO OPPRESSES THE POOR TAUNTS HIS MAKER, BUT HE WHO IS GRACIOUS TO THE NEEDY HONORS HIM." PROVERBS 14:31

"FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE ALSO."
MATTHEW 6:21

"THIS IS MY COMMANDMENT, THAT YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER, JUST AS I HAVE LOVED YOU. GREATER LOVE HAS NO ONE THAN THIS, THAT ONE LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIENDS." JOHN 15:12-13

"BELOVED, LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FOR LOVE IS FROM GOD; AND EVERYONE WHO LOVES IS BORN OF GOD AND KNOWS GOD. THE ONE WHO DOES NOT LOVE DOES NOT KNOW GOD, FOR GOD IS LOVE." I JOHN 4:7-8

SOMETIMES I THINK THAT IF I DON’T PRAY HARD ENOUGH, GOD WON’T LET GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE I LOVE.

SOMETIMES I THINK THAT IF I DON’T FAST FOR LIKE DAYS ON END, GOD WON’T HEAR ME AT ALL.

SOMETIMES I THINK I HAVE TO CARRY ALL OF MY BURDENS, MY HUSBAND’S, MY PARENT’S, MY SISTER’S, AND ALL OF MY FRIEND’S BURDENS…ALL ON MY OWN.

SOMETIMES I THINK THAT ALL THESE THINGS ARE IN MY HANDS, IT ALL DEPENDS ON ME…I BETTER NOT MESS UP AND DO THE WRONG THING…I BETTER KEEP GOD HAPPY WITH ME.


WOW. HOW COULD I EVER HAVE BEEN SO FOOLISH AS TO PUT ALL THAT POWER IN MY OWN HANDS?

“DO NOT BE AFRAID, LITTLE FLOCK; FOR THE FATHER HAS CHOSEN GLADLY TO GIVE YOU THE KINGDOM.”

I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF COMING BACK TO THESE WORDS OF OUR LORD:
“COME TO ME, ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY-LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, FOR I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.”

I HAVE THIS FRIEND.

THIS PERSON IS SO WONDERFUL.
THIS PERSON FORGIVES ME CONSTANTLY, EVEN WHEN I KNOW I DON’T DESERVE IT.
THIS PERSON IS ALWAYS KIND.
ALWAYS THINKING OF ME FIRST.
ALWAYS LOVING ME.
ALWAYS FAITHFUL TO ME.
ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.
ALWAYS MAKING ME LAUGH.
HOLDING ME WHEN I CRY.
TAKING CARE OF ME.
A PERSON FULL OF INTEGRITY.
A PERSON WHO ALWAYS THINKS OF OTHERS FIRST.
ALWAYS SERVES OTHERS, EVEN WHEN IT’S NOT SO “CONVENIENT”.
ALWAYS MAKES ME WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON.
ALWAYS PLEASING TO ME.
ALWAYS PLEASED BY ME.
ALWAYS ENCOURAGING TO ME.
ALWAYS SELFLESS.

MY HUSBAND.

MANY PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME OVER THE PAST SEVEN YEARS UP UNTIL NOW HOW I GOT DARRYL TO BE SO GOOD TO ME. ??????? I DID NOTHING. HE WAS THAT WAY WHEN I FOUND HIM. I DIDN’T HAVE TO TRY TO HOPE THAT ONE DAY HE’D LOVE ME THE WAY I WANTED HIM TO. HE JUST DID, AND HE DOES. I DIDN’T HAVE TO HOPE THAT ONE DAY HE’D FIGURE OUT HOW TO BEHAVE LIKE A GODLY MAN, OR MAKE GOOD DECISIONS, OR LOVE ME AND ONLY ME…HE JUST DID. I KNOW I DON’T DESERVE HIM. HE IS HONESTLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST WAYS I’VE BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND GOD’S LOVE FOR ME. JUST THE FACT THAT GOD GAVE HIM TO ME, THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES. WHEN WE WERE ENGAGED, I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE ABLE TO LOVE HIM MORE…BUT TIME HAS PROVEN ME WRONG. I LOVE HIM MORE EVERYDAY, AND HE MAKES IT SO EASY. HE TREATS ME WITH SO MUCH LOVE, RESPECT, AND ADORATION…AND I DON’T KNOW WHY. I TRULY HOPE EVERY WIFE FEELS THE WAY I FEEL. I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THAT. I REALLY LOVE THIS MAN I MARRIED. ALL SIX FEET AND EIGHT INCHES OF HIS LITTLE HONKEY-SELF.

A PERSONAL THOUGHT.

YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE, JUST WAITING
WHEN I CLING TO OTHER THINGS.
YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE, JUST WAITING,
AS I DO MY LINGERING.

YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE, STILL LOVING
WHEN I’M NOT SO LOVING TO YOU,
YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE, STILL LOVING
NO MATTER WHAT IT IS I DO.

YOU’RE ALWAYS HERE, NEVER LEAVING
WHEN I GIVE SO MANY GOOD REASONS TO GO,
YOU’RE ALWAYS HERE, NEVER LEAVING
AFTER ALL THE TIMES I TELL YOU, “NO”.

YOU’RE ALWAYS NEAR, NEVER CHANGING,
ALWAYS WANTING TO CHANGE MY HEART,
YOU’RE ALWAYS NEAR, NEVER CHANGING,
READY TO GIVE ME ANOTHER START.

YOU’RE ALWAYS CLOSE BY, WATCHING ,
EVEN THOUGH I CONTINUE TO IGNORE
YOU’RE ALWAYS CLOSE BY, WATCHING
AND I REMEMBER IT’S ME YOU ADORE.


LIKE A CHILD THAT STANDS CORRECTED
TO HIS MOTHER, HERE I STAND.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR LOVING ANYTHING BEFORE YOU-
PLEASE LEAD ME BY MY HAND.

JESSICA SCHAFER OCT. 21, 2007

CONFESSIONS FROM THE PAST.

I REMEMBER ABOUT SIX OR SEVEN YEARS AGO, I WAS WATCHING “7TH HEAVEN” AND THE DAD (WHO PLAYS A PASTOR) WAS WITH HIS WIFE. AS THEY WERE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER, THEY POPPED OUT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE TO HAVE A DRINK, JUST THE TWO OF THEM. I WAS APPALLED, I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT, A PASTOR, DRINKING!! WHAT A SINFUL MAN, WHAT AN UNHOLY ACT!!! WHAT IF SOMEONE SAW HIM??!!

I REMEMBER ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO, (ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS REMINDED ME OF THIS STORY) WHEN I WAS LIVING IN THE DORMS. IT WAS MY FIRST YEAR AT A PRIVATE CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY. I WAS TELLING A STORY ABOUT A PARTICULAR PERSON, AND HOW I KNEW THEY WEREN’T A CHRISTIAN. THIS FRIEND I WAS TALKING TO INNOCENTLY ASKED ME, “HOW DO YOU KNOW HE’S NOT A CHRISTIAN?”. I REPLIED SMUGLY, “BECAUSE HE SMOKES.”

I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I HAD THIS IDEA OF PERFECTION, AND I EXPECTED IT FROM EVERYONE AROUND ME. EVERYONE HAD TO FIT INTO THIS IDEA, TO MEET MY STANDARDS. EXCEPT MYSELF, OF COURSE. AND WHEN OTHERS DIDN’T MEET THESE QUALIFICATIONS FOR HOLINESS, THEN I JUST THOUGHT IN MY HEAD, “LORD HELP THEM”…BUT NOT IN A LOVING WAY, AS TO EDIFY…RATHER IN A SELF-RIGHTEOUS TONE, TO BELITTLE THEM.

THESE THINGS I DEALT WITH YEARS AGO, AND SOMETIMES, IF WE’RE NOT CAREFUL, THEY CAN CREEP RIGHT BACK IN AND SET UP CAMP IN OUR MINDS…IT HAPPENS WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW IT ALL. IT HAPPENS WHEN WE’RE REALLY PROUD OF OUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS, OUR OWN DECISIONS, OUR OWN CONVICTIONS. IT HAPPENS WHEN WE GOSSIP. IT HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN. IT HAPPENS AMONG THE BRETHREN. AND MY FRIENDS, IT’S SO EASY TO FALL INTO THAT TRAP.


LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE FORGIVENESS YOU LAVISH UPON ME, THOUGH I DESERVE IT IN NO WAY. THANK YOU FOR SAVING SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE SUCH JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS. THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF. PRAISE TO YOU FOR LOVING THE UNLOVABLE.

*SOMETIMES I HAVE TO SHOUT TO MYSELF, “LOOSEN UP!!!”. THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN THE LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT THINGS WE CHRISTIANS LIKE TO NITPICK AT!!!*

OKAY, SO I’M BACK. ONLY TO LEAVE…I’M NOT KIDDING!! LET’S SEE, SINCE I LOVE TO POST LISTS, HERE’S SOME OF THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN THE PAST MONTH AND A HALF TO TWO MONTHS, AND WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN:

1. DYLAN TURNED THREE.
2. HE’S HAD THREE PARTIES ALREADY: ONE FROM MY MOMMA AND DADDY AND SISTER AND FAMILY, ONE ON HIS ACTUAL B-DAY-FROM ME AND DADDY AND HIS GRANDPARENTS, AND ONE FROM HIS AUNTS…THE “BIG ONE” TO COME. (WE DIDN’T PLAN IT LIKE THIS, THE BIG ONE WAS THE ONLY ORIGINAL ONE WE INTENDED)
3SAW HILARIE TWICE, SHE CAME UP HERE ONCE!!
4.NEWKIRKS CAME TWICE
5.MY AUNT VICKY PASSED AWAY
6.TRIP TO OK. TO VISIT FAMILY
7.FOUND OUT MY MOMMA WOULD HAVE SURGERY TO HAVE HER THYROID REMOVED.
8.PRAYED ABOUT THE SURGERY
9.WENT BACK TO OK. FOR THE SURGERY
10.THE SURGERY WENT WELL, SHE WAS BACK AT WORK 7 DAYS LATER! THANK THE LORD FOR ALL OF THAT.
11.MY SISTER HAD A BIRTHDAY…DON’T WORRY, I WON’T POST YOUR AGE. ALTHOUGH YOU’RE NOT OLD!!
12.MY PARENTS HAD THEIR 37TH ANNIVERSARY!! YAY!!
13.I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A B-DAY!! YAY FOR ME, THE BIG 27!!
14.WE HAVE REALIZED WE’LL BE MOVING…PRAYING ON HOW WE’LL BE GONE BEFORE JANUARY.
15.TRIP TO “THE LITTLE APPLE” FOR DARRYL TO SEE THE K-STATE/KU GAME.
16.DYLAN’S OFFICIAL FIRST YEAR OF SCHOOL!!
17.KRYSTLE WILL BE COMING SOON!! CAN’T WAIT!
18.THANKSGIVING’S ON THE WAY…THEN CHRISTMAS!!!
19.MY HOT HUSBAND’S TAKING ME AWAY FOR THREE DAYS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! (I THINK HE LOVES ME)
20.WENT TO “OZTOBERFEST” IN WAMEGO!!
21.TOOK DYLAN TO PICK OUT A HUGE “DADDY-SIZED” PUMPKIN THAT DARRYL CAN’T WAIT TO DESTROY.
22.HAD DARRYL’S PARENTS HERE FOR A WEEK
23.MY PARENTS HERE FOR A WEEKEND

24. PARENTS COMING BACK AGAIN THIS WEEKEND!! NEPHEW'S BIRTHDAY!!
25.SAW ELIZABETH AND DAVEY AND THEIR NEW HOUSE!!
26.SAW EMILY BEFORE SHE AND HER HUSBAND MOVED!
27.SAW MY TWO SISTERS-IN-LAW, AND THEY GAVE DYLAN A B-DAY PARTY!!
28.PUT TOGETHER DYLAN’S FIRST TWO YEARS OF SCHOOL!! J
29.NOW IF I CAN ONLY SEE THESE PEOPLE SOON, IT’D BE AWESOME: KRYSTLE, HILARIE (AGAIN, OF COURSE), MANDOLYN, BENECCA AND HER NEW BABY HOPEFULLY!!!, BRIANNA AND HER FAMILY, ANDREW AND LISA, NEWKIRKS AGAIN, ANDREA JONES, ANDREA AT MEEKANDQUIET-SOMEDAY HOPEFULLY!, ELIZABETH AGAIN, AND VICKI AND JP.




THERE YOU HAVE IT, THIS IS WHY I HAVEN’T BEEN ONLINE MUCH. I SHOULD BE ONLINE A LITTLE MORE NOW…WE’LL SEE. I THINK IN THE PAST THREE MONTHS, WE’VE ONLY HAD ONE WEEKEND FREE…IF THAT. I MISS BLOGGING AND CHECKING ALL YOUR XANGA’S AND BLOGSPOTS!! BETWEEN PACKING, LEAVING, DRIVING FOUR HOURS ONE-WAY, COMING BACK HOME, UNPACKING…AND SOMEWHERE IN THERE TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING ELSE…I’M EXHAUSTED!!