A SWEET STORY.

I WAS GOING TO A NEW COLLEGE WHEN I MET HER. MY MOMMA WAS THERE WITH ME. SHE AND I HAD ONLY TALKED ON THE PHONE ONCE OR TWICE. AND SHE TOLD ME HOW SHE HAD PRAYED ABOUT HAVING A ROOMMATE SHE’D GET ALONG WITH. I WAS SO EXCITED TO MEET HER. I WAS IN MY NEW DORM ROOM WHEN MY MOMMA WAS DOWNSTAIRS HELPING ME UNLOAD. SHE AND I HAD NEVER SEEN EACH OTHER. WHEN SHE WALKED IN THE DOOR, MY MOMMA LOOKED UP AT HER AND SAID, “YOU MUST BE MY DAUGHTER’S ROOMATE….ARE YOU HILARIE?”. SHE GRINNED AND SAID, “YEAH, ARE YOU JESSICA’S MOM?”. TO TOP IT OFF, WE WERE WEARING THE SAME EXACT EYEGLASSES. THAT’S JUST TOO CUTE. WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MY MOMMA KNEW WHO SHE WAS….SHE JUST DID.

SHE AND I HAVE PRETTY MUCH BEEN CONNECTED IN HEART AND MIND SINCE. WE DO THINGS THAT ARE TOO WEIRD TO EXPLAIN…..WATCH THE SAME MOVIES ON THE SAME NIGHTS, WITHOUT THE OTHER ONE KNOWING…..WE CAN JUST SORT OF FEEL WHEN SOMETHING’S GOING ON WITH THE OTHER ONE. I SWEAR, ASIDE FROM MY HUSBAND, I’VE NEVER BEEN AS CLOSE TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING AS I HAVE BEEN AND STILL AM TO HER. SHE IS A WONDERFUL WOMAN. SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE HER. AND I THINK WE ARE ONLY BEGINNING TO SEE HOW AMAZING THE FRIENDSHIP IS THAT THE LORD DROPPED INTO OUR LAPS. IF I HAVE EVER NEEDED ANYTHING, SHE’S BEEN THERE FOR ME…NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I ONLY HOPE I HAVE DONE THE SAME FOR HER. I LOOK FORWARD TO BEING 65 YEARS OLD WITH HER AND REMINISCING ABOUT HOW WE FIRST MET. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STORY. YOU CAN’T MAKE STUFF LIKE THIS HAPPEN ON YOUR OWN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST TOO WONDERFUL FOR US TO DO….HOW MY HUSBAND AND I CAME TO BE TOGETHER…..HOW SHE AND I CAME TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER…..IT’S VERY OBVIOUSLY THE HAND OF GOD. THIS GIRL MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. AND I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THAT WITH THE WORLD OF THE NET.

TODAY I GOT A PRESENT IN THE MAIL FROM HER FOR MOTHER’S DAY. I BAWLED LIKE A BABY. SHE WANTS ME TO CONSIDER IT FROM MY MOMMA. HOW ON EARTH CAN A FRIEND BE THIS AMAZING? I DON’T KNOW. BUT SHE IS. I LOVE YOU, BIFFUH. YOU MAKE MY HEART SMILE IN SO MANY WAYS.

*THE PICTURE IS HILARIE WITH MY BABYLOVE ON HIS 1ST BIRTHDAY*

PLEASE PRAY FOR THESE PEOPLE.

MY MOMMA.

I HAVE BEEN DREADING MOTHER'S DAY...FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. AND LATELY MEMORIES OF HER HAVE BEEN HAUNTING ME.....I THINK OF SOME SWEET THING FROM A FEW MONTHS AGO, OR WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.... AND I CRY. BUT THIS MORNING, I HAVE DECIDED THAT I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THE MEMORIES. IT'S ALL I HAVE NOW. I LOVE TO REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES I HAD HER HERE. I MISS HER RIGHT NOW....I MISS HER ALWAYS. NOBODY CAN OR WILL EVER LOVE ME LIKE HER...SHE IS MY MOMMA.

IF I'VE NEVER THOUGHT MYSELF BLESSED, I KNOW FOR SURE, IN MOMENTS LIKE THESE, I AM....

*BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED."
-JESUS-

TO MAKE MYSELF SMILE.

SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT WHEN IT’S RAINING.

*A GOOD BOOK…..”CHRONICLES OF NARNIA”, “A WRINKLE IN TIME”, AND WHO COULDN’T BE INSPIRED BY THE HOLY BIBLE?

*MAYBE A RAINBOW IS COMING?

*THAT “FEELING” THAT SOMETHING SPECIAL IS GOING TO HAPPEN SOON…….ANYBODY KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? I’VE HAD THAT FEELING FOR A WHILE NOW. I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT.

*KNOWING THAT MY FLOWERS ARE GROWING, THANKS TO THE STORM.

*ONE CAN APPRECIATE LIFE SO MUCH MORE AFTER LIFE’S HARD DAYS.

*USING MY NEW MICROWAVE THE HOT MAN BOUGHT FOR ME…….ON HIS BIRTHDAY…….AS AN EARLY MOTHER’S DAY GIFT…….YEAH, I KNOW…..HAD I BEEN WITH HIM, I WOULDN’T HAVE LET HIM GET IT.

*LETTING DYLAN WATCH A MOVIE UNDER HIS LITTLE TENT WITH HIS LITTLE DVD PLAYER…….IT’S JUST TOO ADORABLE.

*HAVING AN INDOOR PICNIC ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR WITH MY HANDSOME LIL’ BABY SUGAR. (IT’S PRETTY FUN, WE’VE DONE IT A LOT ON RAINY DAYS)

*FLIPPING THROUGH A HYMNAL…….WE’VE BEEN SINGING A LOT OF HYMNS AROUND HERE LATELY. MAN, THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL. AND DYLAN LOVES THEM SO MUCH!!....HERE’S SOME OF MY FAVORITES…I’LL TRY TO KEEP IT SHORT, BECAUSE I LOVE SO MANY OF THEM…..”COME YE SINNERS, POOR AND NEEDY”, “COME THOU FOUNT OF EVERY BLESSING”, “MY JESUS, I LOVE THEE”, “SHALL WE GATHER AT THE RIVER”, “THIS IS MY FATHER’S WORLD”, “FOR THE BEAUTY OF THE EARTH”, “THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL”, “BE THOU MY VISION”, “AT CALVARY”, “WHEN I SURVEY THE WONDROUS CROSS”, “I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY”, “JESUS IS ALL THE WORLD TO ME”, “BREATHE ON ME”, “SWEET, SWEET SPIRIT”, “WONDERFUL WORDS OF LIFE”, “I KNOW WHOM I HAVE BELIEVED”, “BRETHREN, WE HAVE MET TO WORSHIP”, “THE SOLID ROCK”, “BECAUSE HE LIVES”, “IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL”, “SWEET HOUR OF PRAYER”, “ALL THAT THRILLS MY SOUL”, “TRUST AND OBEY”, “I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR”, “FOOTSTEPS OF JESUS”, “WHEN WE ALL GET TO HEAVEN”, “ON JORDAN’S STORMY BANKS”, “I STAND AMAZED IN THE PRESENCE”…….

*WATCHING MY LIL’ SWEET BABY BOY SUGAR FACE PUMPKIN NOSE PLAY AND SAY, “MOMMY, I LOVE YOU AND I LIKE YOU, AND I DON’T WANT ANOTHER MOMMY, I ONLY WANT YOU”……HOW CUTE IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!

GENTLE GIANT.

HERE’S TO YOU, MY HANDSOME, WHOLESOME, HOT HUSBAND…OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MY “GENTLE GIANT”:

*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WOULD LOOK AT ME AND SEE NOTHING BUT BEAUTY.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WOULD GIVE ME HIS WHOLE HEART.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WOULD ALWAYS BE FAITHFUL TO ONLY ME…FOREVER.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN I WOULD TRUST WITH MY WHOLE LIFE.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WAS JUST ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS TO LOOK AT.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO LOVED THE LORD WITH HIS ENTIRE BEING.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO MADE ME LAUGH ALL THE TIME.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WOULD ALWAYS LISTEN TO ME.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WOULD STAND BESIDE ME, ALWAYS ENCOURAGING MY DESIRES AND ABILITIES.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO’D BE WILLING TO MARRY ME EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO HAVE A MILLION CHILDREN. (OKAY, MAYBE NOT A MILLION…AT LEAST 10)
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO PUT ME BEFORE HIMSELF.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO GAVE UP HIS LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM BY GIVING HIS LIFE TO OTHERS ON A REGULAR BASIS.
*I NEVER THOUGHT I DESERVED A MAN WHO WOULD GIVE HIMSELF UP FOR ME, JUST AS CHRIST DOES THE CHURCH.


AND I WAS RIGHT…I DON’T DESERVE ANY OF THOSE THINGS. YET IN SPITE OF THAT, I’VE BEEN GIVEN THEM FREELY THROUGH MY HUSBAND. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT GOD THROUGH THIS MAN, WHO HAS AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME THE WAY THE LORD INTENDS A MAN TO LOVE HIS WIFE. I SO OFTEN QUESTION WHETHER I AM WHAT HE NEEDS AND WANTS…….BUT HE HAS LONG FULFILLED MY HEART’S DESIRE JUST BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS. WE SAID WHEN WE MARRIED THAT WE’D STILL BE ON OUR HONEYMOON FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES….AND ALMOST FIVE YEARS LATER, WE’RE STILL CELEBRATING THE AMAZING MARRIAGE THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US.

SO, HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!!

WHAT IF?

WHAT IF WHAT I AM CALLED TO REQUIRES EFFORT?

WHAT IF ACTUALLY STUDYING MY BIBLE TAKES TIME?

WHAT IF SERVING GOD MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE?

WHAT IF I DON’T ALWAYS GET TO HAVE THE NEW HOUSE, NEW CAR, NEW CLOTHES EVERY MONTH?

WHAT IF I DO?

WHAT IF FOLLOWING GOD IS EXHAUSTING?

WHAT IF I HAVE TO PUT OUT SOME ENERGY, EVEN THOUGH I’M TIRED AND WORN OUT?

WHAT IF I HAVE TO LOVE OTHERS…….EVEN THOSE WHO ARE UNLOVABLE?

WHAT IF I DON 'T GET TO ACQUIRE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT?

WHAT IF I HAVE TO DEPEND WHOLLY ON HIM TO PAY MY BILLS....NOT KNOWING HOW HE'LL DO IT?

WHAT IF I DO HAVE A LOT OF MONEY...AND I AM SUPPOSED TO GIVE IT ALL TO THE NEEDY? WILL I?...EVEN THOUGH IT'S MINE, THAT I WORKED FOR...ALL MINE?

WHAT IF I HAVE TO FORGIVE….ALL THE TIME, EVERY PERSON….EVEN WHEN WHAT THEY DID WAS HORRIBLE….AND EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T APOLOGIZE?

WHAT IF I HAVE TO ACTUALLY EXERCISE SELF-CONTROL?

WHAT IF I ACTUALLY HAVE TO HOLD OTHERS AROUND ME ACCOUNTABLE?

WHAT IF WHAT I DO DOESN’T ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL GOOD?

WHAT IF I DON’T GET TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS?

WHAT IF I DON’T BELONG TO MYSELF?

WHAT IF I HAVE TO SACRIFICE MYSELF…MY TIME….MY LIKES…MY WANTS….MY DESIRES…..FOR OTHERS?

WHAT IF THOSE WHOM I’M SACRIFICING FOR DON’T EVEN KNOW IT, AND CERTAINLY DON’T APPRECIATE IT?

WHAT IF HE TAKES SOMEONE I LOVE?

WILL I ALWAYS FOLLOW, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF TRAGEDY?

A BIT PERSONAL.

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ONLY TWENTY-SEVEN WHEN I LOST MY MOMMA.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE TO PICK OUT SOMETHING TO WEAR TO HER FUNERAL AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GO THROUGH THE TORTURE OF WHAT DECEMBER ENTAILED.
I NEVER THOUGHT MY MOMMA WOULDN’T BE HERE WITH ME AT THE BIRTHS OF ALL MY CHILDREN.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE TO HEAR MY LITTLE SWEET BABY ASK ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN, “WHERE IS NANA, CAN I SEE HER? I REALLY LOVE HER. WHERE IS SHE?”.
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D HAVE TO PUT A PICTURE OF MY MOMMA IN MY SON’S ROOM AS A CHEAP SUBSTITUTE FOR HER.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE THIS LONELY.

WHEN I HEAR SOMEONE SAY, “IF IT DOESN’T KILL YOU, IT JUST MAKES YOU STRONGER”…..I KNOW NOW HOW ERRONEOUS THAT STATEMENT IS. WHEN YOU FOLLOW CHRIST, LIFE WILL INEVITABLY MAKE YOU WEAKER. AT OUR WEAKEST, HE IS STRONGEST. WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE LIFE AROUND YOU, AND COME TO PLACES WHERE YOU CAN DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING…..YET HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN…THAT’S WHEN YOU WILL SEE HOW ABSOLUTELY NEEDY YOU ARE. WE COME TO HIM NEEDY. IT IS THEN THAT WE WILL KNOW WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT HIM.

THIS IS SO PERSONAL, I KNOW. WHY DID I WRITE IT ON MY BLOG? I’M NOT SURE. I GUESS I WANT YOU, WHOEVER READS, TO KNOW YOU’RE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE OTHERS WHO GRIEVE. IT IS REAL. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. AND IT IS A NEVERENDING PROCESS.

SO BEAUTIFUL.

*IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THIS SONG, TRY TO. IT'S AMAZING. BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN AND COMPOSED. IT HAS HELPED ME THROUGH SO MUCH IN THE PREVIOUS MONTHS.*

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone, unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew,
That all the riches this world had to offer me will never do.

In a world full of bitter pain, and bitter doubts,
I was trying so hard to fit in, Fit in, until I found out
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross and a song Where I don't belong
I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
When you found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul I'll sing for free
We're still chasing our tails In the rising sun
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction no one wins No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I will carry a cross With a song where I don't belong
I don't belong

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
No, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I'm gonna set side And set sail For the kingdom come, kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down, yeah
Let my foolish pride forever let me down

Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list
Easy living please c'mon and let me down

We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools

What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound Hey,
let us sing one true tune
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
It feels like I don't belong here,
yeah It goes like
I don't belong here I don't belong (I don't belong)
Won't you let me down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
You always let me down (I don't belong)
So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
Cuz I don't belong here
Won't you let me down!

*BY: Switchfoot*

HOPE.

THIS WAS INSPIRED BY YOU. MY FRIENDS. NO MATTER THE THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE, MY LIFE.......WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN EACH OTHER. NO MATTER THE JOY YOU ARE EXPERIENCING, OR THE GRIEF...I WROTE THIS ON BEHALF OF ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN, OR IS IN A PLACE OF HURT. EVERYONE HURTS. WE'RE NOT MEANT TO GO THROUGH IT ALONE. HOPE IT IS FOUND TO BE ENCOURAGING.




THINGS SOMETIMES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
MY BREATH CAN BE TAKEN AWAY
SO GOOD IN EVERY ASPECT,
IN THAT MOMENT, I WISH I COULD STAY.

BEAUTY IN A KISS FROM THE
SWEETEST MAN I KNOW,
BEAUTY IN THE FRESH SMELL OF RAIN
AND AFTERWARDS THE RAINBOW.

AND THEN SOMETIMES LIFE SEEMS
TO TAKE A TURN AROUND
IT SEEMS LIKE I CAN’T GET MY HEAD
OUT FROM UNDERGROUND.

DEATH HAPPENS, TRAGEDY COMES
IN SO MANY WAYS TO SAY
SO MUCH HURT I’VE SEEN AROUND ME
SOMETIMES I SEE IT EVERDAY.

I CRY, I HURT, I MOURN,
AND WHEN THAT TIME PASSES, I SEE
THAT SO MUCH HURT IS AFFECTING OTHERS,
AND NOT ONLY ME.

SO I WAIT, I PRAY, I CRY
FOR THE DAY TO ARRIVE
WHEN EVERY PERSON AND EVERY LIVING THING
WILL BE GIVEN BRAND NEW LIFE.

AND IN THE DAY I HOPE FOR,
DEATH WILL HAVE NO SAY,
TEARS WILL BE WIPED FROM THE ONLY ONE
WHO WILL NEVER GO AWAY.

POVERTY WILL VANQUISH,
HORRIBLE THINGS ALL DISAPPEAR,
NO MORE WORRIES ABOUT ANYTHING,
BECAUSE OUR MAKER WILL BE HERE.

EVERYTHING BROKEN WILL BE FIXED
IN THE BLINKING OF AN EYE.
NOTHING HERE IN THIS WORLD CAN DO THAT-
EVEN AS HARD AS I MAY TRY.

SO MANY THINGS I COULD HOPE IN HERE
A DOCTRINE, A JOB, A CAUSE, A MAN…
BUT THEY ALL SEEM SO EMPTY
WHEN I SEE MY LORD’S OUTSTRETCHED HAND.

SO AS LIFE KEEPS HAPPENING AROUND ME,
THE JOY, THE PAIN, THE SORROW, THE GLADNESS,
I’LL REMEMBER THAT HE SAID ONE DAY
HE’LL TAKE AWAY ALL THIS MADNESS.

JESSICA SCHAFER
April 18, 2008

BEEN A WHILE...

WHEN ONE LIVES OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, THE INTERNET HAS A TENDENCY TO JUST "GO OUT" WHEN IT STORMS.  I'M REALLY GETTING TIRED OF THAT!!!  ANYWAY, IT'S FIXED NOW.....WE'LL SEE HOW LONG IT LASTS.

WE'RE ENJOYING THE SUN.  DYLAN'S STILL GETTING HUGE.  IT NEVER FAILS WHEN WE'RE OUT, SOMEONE COMMENTS ON HOW HUGE HE IS FOR HIS AGE.  AND WHEN WE GO OUT TO EAT WHERE LITTLE ONES EAT FOR FREE, WE ALWAYS GET..."WOW, HE'S REALLY BIG FOR JUST THREE!!".......AND YES, HE IS.......BUT THEY ALWAYS HINT THAT WE'RE LYING!!!!!!!!  OH WELL.  THEN WHEN THEY SEE HIS GIANT DADDY, THEY UNDERSTAND.  

I'M AT MY SISTER'S.  I WISH SHE AND I HAD MORE TIME TO HANG OUT.  IT'D BE NICE TO GO DO "SISTER THINGS" EVERY GREAT ONCE IN A WHILE.  BIGGER SISTERS NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW THEIR LITTLE SISTERS ADMIRE THEM.  I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.  IT ONLY MAKES SENSE IF YOU'RE THE LITTLE SISTER.

WHAT ELSE....OH, THE ZOO.  THE ZOO, THE ZOO, THE ZOO.  WE'LL BE GETTING A ZOO PASS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.  I WOULDN'T CARE IF WE WENT THERE EVERYDAY.  BUT IT'LL PROBABLY ONLY BE ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK THAT WE GET TO.  DYLAN LOVES IT, AND I GET A WORKOUT, BECAUSE I USUALLY PUT HIM IN THE STROLLER.  

LOTS HAPPENING, ALWAYS BUSY WITH THE THINGS OF LIFE.   BEEN MISSING THE INTERNET!!  GLAD TO HAVE IT BACK, HOPEFULLY I CAN STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOU BLOGGERS.....UNTIL THE NEXT STORM!  :)

SWEET MOMENTS IN LIFE, AND CONFESSIONS OF BEING A TRUE BLONDE.

COST OF A GALLON OF MILK: RIDICULOUS
COST OF A GALLON OF GAS: EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS

COST OF SITTING ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR FOR A PICNIC WITH YOUR TODDLER BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU DID WANT TO BUY THE GAS TO GO TO A PARK, IT IS SOAKING WET OUTSIDE: PRICELESS.



I HAVE HAD MANY MOMENTS OF REVEALING THAT AT TIMES, I JUST DON’T “GET IT”. THE FOLLOWING ARE JUST A COUPLE OF THE MANY REASONS MY HUSBAND TELLS ME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BLONDE.

*I NEVER PUT IT TOGETHER UNTIL I WAS AROUND NINETEEN YEARS OLD THAT “WHATABURGER” MEANS “WHAT-A-BURGER”. YEAH, THAT’S SAD, I KNOW.

*MANY TIMES WHEN PEOPLE TELL US JOKES, I WILL LAUGH…THEN ON THE DRIVE HOME DARRYL WILL EXPLAIN THEM TO ME, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT HALF THE TIME, I DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM…BUT I LAUGH TO MAKE THE PERSON FEEL GOOD.

*WHEN DARRYL AND I WERE DATING, HE OFFERED TO CHANGE THE OIL IN MY CAR. BEING PARTICULARLY PROTECTIVE OF MY CAR, (OF WHICH I ONLY KNEW HOW TO DRIVE AND PUT GAS INTO THE TANK,) I WAS FREAKING OUT WHEN I SAW HIM DRAINING THE OIL OUT OF MY CAR FROM UNDERNEATH!! I WENT UP TO HIM AND ASKED HIM WHY IN THE WORLD HE WAS DOING THIS, WHEN ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS POUR NEW OIL INTO THE LITTLE “HOLE THINGY”. HE THEN EXPLAINED TO ME WHAT “CHANGING THE OIL” MEANT. I KNEW HE LOVED ME WHEN HE STAYED WITH ME AFTER THAT.

I’VE HAD MANY MORE MOMENTS, BUT I HAVE TO KEEP SOME SORT OF DIGNITY, SO THAT’S ALL MY BLONDE STORIES FOR NOW….MAYBE MORE ANOTHER TIME.

SORROW.

IT’S OKAY TO CRY, YOU KNOW
IT’S OKAY TO YELL.
IT’S OKAY TO SCREAM AS
YOU’RE GOING THROUGH THIS HELL.

JUST REMEMBER I’M HERE
AND I’VE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG…
I’LL BE THE ONE WHO KEEPS YOU,
THROUGH THIS JOURNEY THAT’S SO LONG.

I’M NOT ONLY A GOD OF HAPPINESS,
OF LOVE AND PEACE AND GRACE,
I ALSO HAVE A SORROWFUL SIDE,
ONE YOU’VE SEEN FACE TO FACE.

BUT MY CHILD, THIS DEATH YOU SEE
IN THIS LIFE YOU’RE LIVING NOW-
I’VE ALREADY DEFEATED IT!...
SO JUST KEEP GOING SOMEHOW.

YOU CAN’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS
JUST BE FAITHFUL AND FOLLOW…
EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,
AND YOUR HEART SEEMS TO BE HOLLOW.

THIS MAY NOT BE THE LAST TIME
SORROW TOUCHES YOUR LIFE,
BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE LOVING YOU,
STANDING AT YOUR SIDE.

THOUGH YOU FEEL ALL ALONE,
LIKE NOBODY UNDERSTANDS,
KEEP FOLLOWING ME, KEEP TRUSTING,
MY FAITHFULNESS WILL STAND.


"BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED." -JESUS-

SKELETONS AND CLOSETS.

LAST NIGHT I HAD THIS LONG POST ABOUT SO MANY THINGS I’M DEALING WITH, NAMELY CARRYING THIS GRIEF, AND EVERYONE’S REACTION TO IT AROUND ME. (WHICH IS NEXT TO NOTHING) ALSO, JUST SEEING THE CHURCH TODAY, LOVED ONES, HOW THEY CHOOSE TO IGNORE WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I SAID, YET I DELETED IT ALL. I’LL LET THE SCRIPTURES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. MY ONLY HOPE FOR MYSELF AND THOSE AROUND ME IS THAT WE WILL LEARN TO DEAL WITH REALITY AROUND US, AND STOP PUSHING THINGS UNDER THE RUG, PRETENDING IT WILL ALL GO AWAY IF WE JUST DON’T DEAL WITH IT…….BECAUSE THESE THINGS WILL DEFINITELY COME UP ONE DAY, MUCH BIGGER THAN THEY ARE NOW, AND BITE US IN THE REAR!!!!!

“DO NOT BE DECEIVED, GOD IS NOT MOCKED; FOR WHATEVER A MAN SOWS, THIS HE WILL ALSO REAP. FOR THE ONE WHO SOWS TO HIS OWN FLESH WILL FROM THE FLESH REAP CORRUPTION, BUT THE ONE WHO SOWS TO THE SPIRIT WILL FROM THE SPIRIT REAP ETERNAL LIFE.”
*GALATIANS 6:7-8*

THIS IS OUR HOPE.

EASTER IS COMING. IN A FEW DAYS, WE WILL CELEBRATE EASTER. A TIME OF RESURRECTION, RESTORATION, HOPE. A TIME TO RECOGNIZE THAT OUR LORD DESTROYED SIN BY SUBMITTING HIMSELF TO IT….GIVING HIMSELF TO IT. HE BEAT DEATH. DO WE GET THAT? HE LITERALLY BEAT DEATH, SOMETHING SO FINAL. HE DEFEATED IT WITH HIS VERY LIFE….BY GIVING HIMSELF OVER TO IT AND LETTING IT RUN ITS TOLL ON HIM. AND HE WON. HE DID NOT STAY DEAD. HE DID NOT STAY BURIED. HE DID NOT STAY WHERE HE WAS “SUPPOSED” TO.

SO FOR YOU WHO ARE MOURNING DEATH, AS I HAVE BEEN….REMEMBER. THAT OUR LOVED ONES, BECAUSE OF CHRIST, HAVE DEFEATED DEATH, TOO. THE UGLINESS, THE GRUESOME THINGS OF DECEMBER, THE MEMORIES OF SEEING HER LYING IN A BED WITHOUT ANY FUNCTION, THE WISHES THAT SHE WOULD WAKE UP AND TALK TO ME, THE HURT OF LIVING THROUGH ALL OF THAT…….IS NOT THE FINAL WORD. JESUS IS THE FINAL WORD. AND I WAIT FOR THE DAY TO HUG MY MOMMA AGAIN, KNOWING WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN GOD SAYS, “ENOUGH!”.

SOME GOOD NEWS TRAVELS HERE.

I AM SO HAPPY, EXTREMELY ELATED, AND ABOUT TO BURST WITH GOOD NEWS. I HAD TO SHARE IT IN BLOGLAND. ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITE FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO BE A MOMMA TO A BABY BOY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE REJOICE WITH ME AS MY HEART HAS REALLY BEEN LONGING FOR SOME GOOD NEWS. I LOVE YOU, YOU SOON TO BE MOMMA!!!!!