THIS IS OUR HOPE.

EASTER IS COMING. IN A FEW DAYS, WE WILL CELEBRATE EASTER. A TIME OF RESURRECTION, RESTORATION, HOPE. A TIME TO RECOGNIZE THAT OUR LORD DESTROYED SIN BY SUBMITTING HIMSELF TO IT….GIVING HIMSELF TO IT. HE BEAT DEATH. DO WE GET THAT? HE LITERALLY BEAT DEATH, SOMETHING SO FINAL. HE DEFEATED IT WITH HIS VERY LIFE….BY GIVING HIMSELF OVER TO IT AND LETTING IT RUN ITS TOLL ON HIM. AND HE WON. HE DID NOT STAY DEAD. HE DID NOT STAY BURIED. HE DID NOT STAY WHERE HE WAS “SUPPOSED” TO.

SO FOR YOU WHO ARE MOURNING DEATH, AS I HAVE BEEN….REMEMBER. THAT OUR LOVED ONES, BECAUSE OF CHRIST, HAVE DEFEATED DEATH, TOO. THE UGLINESS, THE GRUESOME THINGS OF DECEMBER, THE MEMORIES OF SEEING HER LYING IN A BED WITHOUT ANY FUNCTION, THE WISHES THAT SHE WOULD WAKE UP AND TALK TO ME, THE HURT OF LIVING THROUGH ALL OF THAT…….IS NOT THE FINAL WORD. JESUS IS THE FINAL WORD. AND I WAIT FOR THE DAY TO HUG MY MOMMA AGAIN, KNOWING WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN GOD SAYS, “ENOUGH!”.

SOME GOOD NEWS TRAVELS HERE.

I AM SO HAPPY, EXTREMELY ELATED, AND ABOUT TO BURST WITH GOOD NEWS. I HAD TO SHARE IT IN BLOGLAND. ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITE FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO BE A MOMMA TO A BABY BOY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE REJOICE WITH ME AS MY HEART HAS REALLY BEEN LONGING FOR SOME GOOD NEWS. I LOVE YOU, YOU SOON TO BE MOMMA!!!!!

EVERYDAY IS DIFFERENT.

IF YOU'VE LOST A LOVED ONE, YOU KNOW THIS PAIN I'M FEELING. THE DAYS ARE DIFFERENT, THE MOMENTS ARE DIFFERENT. AND IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN CONTROL. THE TEARS, MEMORIES, HOPES, FEELINGS....THEY COME AND GO AS THEY PLEASE. I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: THIS WAS NEVER MEANT TO GO THROUGH ALONE. IT'S MUCH TOO HEAVY OF A BURDEN TO CARRY ON YOUR OWN. EVEN AS I TYPE THIS, I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF OF IT. LET GOD CARRY IT WITH YOU...EVEN IF YOU'RE ANGRY WITH HIM. LET YOUR LOVED ONES HELP YOU THROUGH IT. AND KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE THIS HURT IN THEIR CHEST THAT TIME WILL NEVER HEAL. ONLY THE DAY YOU SEE YOUR LOVED ONE AGAIN....THAT'S WHAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER.

TODAY'S BEEN TOUGH. I THINK BECAUSE MY HUSBAND'S PARENTS ARE COMING TO VISIT. I GET SO ANGRY AND MAD THAT HE GETS TO SEE HIS MOMMA. I KNOW THESE ARE NORMAL FEELINGS, BUT I HATE HAVING THEM. I GET SO ANGRY BECAUSE MY MOMMA CAN'T COME VISIT US. (THOUGH I KNOW SHE'S REALLY STILL WITH ME) I GET SO SAD. THE SADNESS, AT MOMENTS, IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. I'M GLAD MY HUSBAND HAS HIS PARENTS, DON'T GE ME WRONG, BUT IF YOU'VE LOST A PARENT, YOU CAN PROBABLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THE FEELINGS I'M HAVING. I WAS SO CLOSE TO HER. AND NOW SHE'S NOT HERE.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME IF YOU'RE READING THIS. AND NOT ONLY ME, MY FAMILY. AND PLEASE PRAY FOR THOSE THAT YOU KNOW AND DON'T KNOW WHO ARE CARRYING SOMETHING THIS HEAVY.

I FIND COMFORT IN THIS SONG:


Poughkeepsiewords and music: Bergquistrecording: Good Dog Bad Dog

I thought I'd go up Poughkeepsie, look out o'er the Hudson,
and I'd throw my body down on the river.
And I'd know no more sorrow,I'd fly like the sparrow
and I'd ride on the backs of the angels tonight.

I'd ride on the backs of the angels tonight.
I'd take to the sky with all my might.
No more drowning in my sorrow,no more drowning in my fright,
I'd just ride on the backs of the angels tonight.

There are those who know sorrow and those who must borrow
and those whose lot in life is sweet.
Well I'm drunk on self-pity,scorned all that's been given me,
I would drink from a bottle labeled Sure Defeat.

I'd ride on the backs of the angels tonight.
I'd take to the sky with all my might.No more drowning in my sorrow,
no more drowning in my fright,
I'd just ride on the backs of the angels tonight.

Then the skies, they fell open and my eyes were opened
to a world of hope falling at my feet.
Now I've no more or less than anyone else has,
what I have is a gift of life I can't repeat.

So I go up Poughkeepsie, look out o'er the Hudson
and I cast my worries to the sky.
Now I still know sorrow,but I can fly like the sparrow
'cause I ride on the backs of the angels tonight.

I ride on the backs of the angels tonight.
I take to the sky with all their might.
No more drowning in my sorrow,
no more drowning in my fright,
I'll just ride on the backs of the angels each night.

*TAKEN FROM OVERTHERHINE.COM*

GOINGS ON.

BARGAIN!!

WE NEEDED NEW PHONES (WELL, I HAVE FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS NOW…JUST WAITED UNTIL OUR CONTRACT WAS OVER SO I WOULDN’T HAVE TO PAY AN ARM AND A LEG) SO WE WENT LOOKING YESTERDAY.

BRAND NEW CAMERA PHONE, WITH CARD TO TRANSFER PICTURES TO YOUR COMPUTER, (I HATED THAT I COULDN’T DO THAT WITH MY LAST ONE) ALSO HAS AN MP3 PLAYER ON IT!! GOOD DEAL. BUT HOW MUCH? 99 BUCKS WITH CONTRACT…..AND A 100 DOLLAR REBATE!!! YAY!! SO, REALLY, I’M GETTING A DOLLAR BACK! I’M NEVER REALLY EXCITED ABOUT A NEW CELL PHONE…BUT A STINKIN’ NICE ONE THAT’S FREE!! NOW, THAT’S CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION FROM THIS CHEAP MOMMA!! ALSO, NEW HUGE PUZZLE BOOKS FOR DYLAN.......OUR FAMILY LOVES BOOKSTORES....ESPECIALLY BORDERS, WHICH ALWAYS HAS GOOD LEARNING STUFF FOR LITTLE ONES ON CLEARANCE!! IF WE'RE EVER OUT ON A FAMILY DAY...WE'LL ALWAYS END UP AT TWO OR THREE BOOKSTORES. YAY FOR BARGAINS!!

IT’S BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE. SO MUCH NEEDS TO BE DONE INSIDE OUR HOUSE…….BUT THE (WHAT LOOKS LIKE A) SPRING DAY IS CALLING MY NAME…….WE’LL SEE IF THIS WORK GETS DONE INSIDE...OR PUT OFF......WHICH IS PERFECTLY OKAY SOMETIMES!!!

ANYWAY, I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH VICKI THIS PAST WEEKEND, WHICH WAS FUN. I NEVER GET TO GET AWAY AND SEE OTHER GROWN HUMANS!!! I LOVE SPENDING ALL DAY WITH MY LIL’ MAN, BUT SOMETIMES, I NEED INTERACTION!!

DYLAN’S BEEN OBSESSED WITH THESE LITTLE DOLLAR CAPSULES FROM THE STORE THAT TURN INTO EASTER SPONGES WHEN PUT IN THE WATER. HEY, IF HE’S LOVIN’ IT, I’M PROBABLY GOING TO GET SOME MORE!! I’M ENJOYING THE ABILITY TO ENTERTAIN HIM EASILY WHILE I CAN! I KNOW IT WON’T LAST FOREVER.

COMING UP: IN-LAWS COMING THIS WEEK. THAT’LL BE BUSY. I’M SURE THEY’LL BRING MORE STUFF FOR DYLAN…….SEEING A REALLY GOOD FRIEND THAT I’VE MISSED TERRIBLY THIS WEEKEND FOR A GIRL’S NIGHT OUT!!! YAY!! HOPEFULLY SEEING DADDY SOON…I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY…..HILARIE IS COMING TO SEE ME MAYBE NEXT WEEKEND!!! ….. I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHEN SHE COMES .......IN-LAWS COMING BACK AND DARRYL’S GRANDPARENTS, TOO IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.......LOTS HAPPENING. SPRINGTIME ALWAYS BRINGS LOTS OF ACTIVITY IN OUR HOME. BUT WE LOVE IT.

P.S. I’VE BEEN HAVING SOME REALLY ROUGH DAYS, AND I KNOW I ALWAYS WILL. I REALLY WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS. TODAY HASN’T BEEN SO BAD…MY MOMMA ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT THINGS ARE ALWAYS HARDER AND SCARIER AT NIGHT….SHE’S SO RIGHT. NIGHTTIME IS USUALLY WHEN I FALL APART AND MOST DEFINITELY END UP CRYING. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY…IT’S STILL PRETTY HARD.

TOMORROW.

IF I SAID I’D GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME?
IF I SAID YOU’D HAVE IT ALL
WOULD YOU SERVE ME LOVINGLY?

IF I SAID LIFE WOULD BE EASY
NEVER A TROUBLE OR A CARE,
WOULD YOU BLINDLY FOLLOW ALONG
ALWAYS TRUSTING THAT I’M THERE?

IF I WHISPERED IN YOUR EAR
THAT EVERYTHING YOU WANT IS YOURS
WOULD YOU TRAVEL ALONG BEHIND ME
NEVER ASKING WHAT’S THROUGH EACH DOOR?

AND WHAT IF YOUR LOT IN LIFE
EVEN FOR A WHILE BECOMES UNKIND?
WOULD I LOOK BACK AND SEE YOU
STILL FOLLOWING BEHIND?

WHAT IF THINGS TAKE A TURN
AND AREN’T SO HAPPY AND CONTENT?
WHAT IF DOWN A LOWLY PATH
IT WAS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY I SENT?

WOULD YOU KEEP IN THE RACE
TRUSTING THINGS WOULD ALL WORK OUT-
OR WOULD YOU DECIDE IT’S TIME TO QUIT
AND YELL AND SCREAM AND SHOUT?

WHAT IF I NEVER GIVE YOU
THE THINGS IN LIFE YOU LONG FOR?
WHAT IF I CHOOSE TO TAKE YOU PLACES
THAT HAVE YOU ALL ALONE AND POOR?

HOW LONG WILL YOU FOLLOW ME?
WILL YOUR JOURNEY HAVE AN END?
WILL YOU TRUST ME WHEN YOUR LIFE
LOOKS LIKE I AM NOT BEING YOUR FRIEND?

MY CHILD, THIS LIFE IS PROMISING
OF MANY THINGS THAT ARE SO GOOD
BUT DEATH IS ALSO CERTAIN HERE
IT DOESN’T HAPPEN AS YOU THINK IT SHOULD.

SO TAKE COMFORT, I AM STILL HERE
THOUGH YOU FEEL ABANDONMENT TONIGHT
I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE, MY LOVE-
KEEP FOLLOWING IN MY LIGHT.

THERE ARE MANY SIDES OF ME YOU KNOW
I AM MADE NOT ONLY OF LOVE BUT SORROW—
BUT I AM ALWAYS THE SAME,
FROM YESTERDAY TO TOMORROW.

JESSICA SCHAFER 03-09-08

TO YOU WHO ARE MOURNING,

I WISH I COULD TELL YOU THAT YOU WON’T BE ALONE. BUT MANY TIMES, YOU WILL. THERE ARE MANY OTHERS WHO HAVE FELT A PAIN LIKE YOURS, BUT YOU CANNOT DEPEND ON OTHERS. DEPEND ONLY ON ME. THE ONES CLOSEST TO YOU WILL NOT BE THERE, THEY MAY NOT KNOW HOW. REMEMBER THAT THOUGH THEY MAY NOT KNOW HOW, THEY DO LOVE YOU. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN ANGER, SADNESS, BITTERNESS, ISOLATION, AND CONFUSION WILL SEEM LIKE THEY ARE TAKING OVER. THEY ARE NOT. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS, SO DON’T THINK I AM PUNISHING YOU. DEATH IS A PART OF THIS PHYSICAL LIFE.
YOUR HEART WILL ALWAYS HAVE THAT ACHE WHEN YOU THINK OF YOUR LOVED ONE WHO IS GONE. YOU WILL ALWAYS MISS THEM THE WAY YOU DO NOW. BUT TAKE HEART, YOU WILL SEE THEM AGAIN.
LIFE WILL CONTINUE TO HAPPEN. THE WORLD WILL KEEP SPINNING, THOUGH YOU WISH IT WOULD STOP—EVEN FOR A MOMENT. AS HORRIBLE AS DEATH IS, AS HORRIBLE AS SOME THINGS ARE IN LIFE, THERE WILL STILL BE SOME GOOD THINGS. CLING TO THOSE. WINTER WILL ALWAYS COME, JUST AS DEATH. BUT SPRING WILL ALWAYS BE JUST AROUND THE CORNER. EASTER WILL ALWAYS BE ON THE WAY.
REMEMBER THAT THOUGH YOU ARE ALONE IN SO MANY WAYS, I AM WITH YOU. I CANNOT REVEAL TO YOU JUST YET THE ANSWERS THAT YOU LONG TO KNOW. I CANNOT BRING BACK YOUR LOVED ONE. BUT KNOW THAT I AM HOLDING YOUR LOVED ONE WITH ME. YOU WILL MEET AGAIN SOON ENOUGH, AT AN HOUR THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW. TRY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TO ENJOY THE GOOD MOMENTS I HAVE GIVEN YOU. AND TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN TO GET THROUGH THE TRYING TIMES, SUCH AS THESE. LET ME CARRY YOUR BURDENS FOR YOU…SO OFTEN THE ONES I HAVE CHOSEN TO PLACE UPON YOU. I CAN’T EXPLAIN TO YOU JUST YET WHY I HAVE CHOSEN THIS LIFE FOR YOU. BUT REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU THROUGH IT ALL.
THIS WILL NOT BE THE LAST TIME YOU EXPERIENCE HEARTACHE THIS AWFUL. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN, AND IT WILL ALSO HAPPEN TO OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE. BE FOR THEM WHAT YOU HAVE NEEDED FROM THEM. COMFORT THEM AS YOU HAVE NEEDED COMFORT.
REMEMBER TO PUT YOUR WHOLE SELF INTO EACH DAY, LOVING ME, YOURSELF, AND OTHERS THE WAY YOU KNOW HOW. GIVE OF YOURSELF, EVEN WHEN YOU GET NOTHING BACK. GIVE TO THOSE WHO WILL NOT GIVE TO YOU. LOVE THOSE WHO DON’T LOVE YOU BACK. BE KIND TO THOSE WHO ARE UNKIND TO YOU. BE SELFLESS TO THOSE WHO ARE SELFISH.

ONE DAY I WILL SAY, “ENOUGH!”…….AND THE TRYING TIMES WILL BE NO MORE. PAIN WILL BE GONE. HEARTACHE WILL BE ERASED. HUNGER WILL VANISH. THIRST WILL FLEE. POVERTY WILL BE DONE WITH. DEATH WILL BE ABOLISHED. LIFE WILL REIGN. UNTIL THEN, MY CHILD, REMEMBER MY LOVE FOR YOU IS NEVERENDING, AND I FEEL THIS PAIN YOU FEEL. I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS.

SOME HONESTY.

YOU SAID YOU’D ALWAYS BE HERE,
SO WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE YOU’RE GONE?
I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK AGAIN,
FOR SO LONG-YET I’M STILL ALONE.

MY HEART, MY SOUL, LONGS FOR A CHANGE,
FOR GOOD NEWS TO TRAVEL HERE.
I LONG TO HEAR A JOYFUL NOISE
COME SWIFTLY TO MY EARS.

I SEE THE WIND CHANGING,
HOW I WISH IT WOULD CHANGE FOR ME-
I HOPE, I PRAY, I YEARN
FOR EVEN ONE YEAR OF JUBILEE.

LIFE LOOKS SO HOPELESS RIGHT NOW,
AS IF NOTHING WILL BE GOOD.
HOW I WISH YOU’D COME BACK
AND REDEEM THIS PLACE, AS YOU SAID YOU WOULD.

THERE IS NO ANSWER NOW, I KNOW.
I WILL NEVER FIND ONE HERE.
BUT I JUST WISH I COULD FEEL
YOUR SWEET PRESENCE DRAWING NEAR.

I STILL WAIT, I HOPE, I WONDER
IF THINGS WILL TAKE A TURN-
OR WILL THINGS CONTINUE
TO JUST CRASH AND BURN?

I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU DO THINGS,
REGARDLESS OF HOW WE PRAY-
SO HOW DO YOU DECIDE THOSE THINGS,
CAN’T YOU MAKE THEM GO AWAY?

BECAUSE SOMETIMES, LORD, THE PAIN-
THE GRIEF, THE HEARTACHE, AND THE SORROW
MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I REALLY DON’T
WANT TO BE HERE TOMORROW.

AND THERE ARE DAYS I DON’T KNOW
WHAT TO DO-OR EVEN WHAT TO SAY-
I JUST WANT ALL THE HURTING OF THIS
LIFE TO GO AWAY.

YOU SAID WHEN YOU WALKED HERE
“THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND,”-
SO WHY CAN’T WE SEE THE GOOD SOMETIMES,
I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT,
AS I’VE DONE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE-
UNTIL I SEE A GLIMPSE OF HOPE
COME THROUGH AN OPEN DOOR.

SO I WAIT HERE LISTENING TO THE WIND
BLOW GENTLY THROUGH THE TREE
AND HOPE THAT IT’S NOT TRUE-
THAT YOU’VE NEVER REALLY LEFT ME.

JESSICA SCHAFER 03-02-08

SOME KIND OF BUG.

GOT SICK LAST NIGHT, HUSBAND TOOK CARE OF ME AND THE BABY.

GOT UP THIS MORNING AND FEEL BETTER. THANK THE LORD THIS WASN'T THE FLU.

WE'RE WATCHING MARY POPPINS....I HAD NEVER SEEN IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN IT? THE DAD IN THAT MOVIE IS SO STINKIN' MEAN AND I CRINGE AT THE FACT THAT SO MANY HUSBANDS AND FATHERS ARE STILL LIKE THAT TODAY!!! UGH.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY SON SOME UNDEROOS.

I GET TO GET A NEW PHONE THIS MONTH...YAY!! THE OTHER ONE HAS NEEDED TO BE REPLACED FOR A WHILE.

I WILL ALSO BE GETTING NEW GLASSES...THESE CONSTANTLY GIVE ME A HEADACHE. I KNOW, I'M SO BAD ABOUT WAITING TOO LONG FOR EYE APPOINTMENTS. I THINK I'VE HAD THESE GLASSES NOW FOR....GET READY...FIVE YEARS. OH WELL, MY EYES HAVEN'T FALLEN OUT YET.

WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING...I MISS MY FRIENDS. I REALLY WISH I COULD THROW A HUGE PARTY AND THEY WOULD ALL COME STAY WITH ME FOR A WHOLE WEEK. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. AND WE'D EAT LOTS OF JUNK FOOD, PAINT OUR TOENAILS, DO FACIALS, AND TALK ABOUT THEOLOGY. OH WELL, A GIRL CAN DREAM.

I'M SO THANKFUL FOR MY HUSBAND. NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T FEEL UNDESERVING OF HIS LOVE FOR ME. HE ALWAYS PUTS MY NEEDS BEFORE HIS. I HOPE HE FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME. AND EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LOOK LIKE A SUPERMODEL, (BELIEVE ME, NOT EVEN CLOSE), HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M THE MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN HE'S EVER LAID EYES ON...AND THAT I ALWAYS WILL BE. EVEN WHEN I'M NINETY-NINE YEARS OLD. I LOVE THAT MAN.

I AM HUNGRY. EATING ONLY A BOWL OF TOMATO SOUP AND CRACKERS FOR A FULL DAY AND PUMPING YOURSELF FULL OF JUICE MAKES YOU HUNGRY THE NEXT DAY! I HAVEN'T BEEN SICK IN FOREVER. I'M GLAD THIS BUG DIDN'T LAST TOO LONG.

FOR GRINS AND GIGGLES.

CHURCH BULLETINS....(ONE OF MY PET PEEVES...LOTS OF MISPELD WURDS...HEHEHE)

THE SENIOR CHOIR INVITES ANY MEMBER OF THE CONGREGATION WHO ENJOYS SINNING TO JOIN THE CHOIR.

NEXT SUNDAY IS THE FAMILY HAYRIDE AND BONFIRE AT THE FOWLERS'. BRING YOUR OWN HOT DOGS AND GUNS. FRIENDS ARE WELCOME! EVERYONE COME FOR A FUN TIME.

SAY "HELL" TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE MUCH ABOUT YOU.

THE PASTOR WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THE LADIES OF THE CONGREGATION WOULD LEND HIM THEIR ELECTRIC GIRDLES FOR THE PANCAKE BREAKFAST NEXT SUNDAY MORNING.

THE CHURCH WILL HOST AN EVENING OF FINE DINING, SUPERB ENTERTAINMENT, AND GRACIOUS HOSTILITY.

AND SOME MORE IF THAT DIDN'T CRACK YOU UP...

BERTHA BELCH, A MISSIONARY FROM AFRICA WILL BE SPEAKING TONIGHT AT CALVARY MEMORIAL CHURCH IN RACINE. COME TONIGHT AND HEAR BERTHA BELCH ALL THE WAY FROM AFRICA.

LADIES, DON'T FORGET THE RUMMAGE SALE. IT'S A CHANCE TO GET RID OF THOSE THINGS NOT WORTH KEEPING AROUND THE HOUSE. DON'T FORGET YOUR HUSBANDS.

IRVING BENSON AND JESSIE CARTER WERE MARRIED ON OCTOBER 24TH IN THE CHURCH. SO ENDS A FRIENDSHIP THAT BEGAN IN THEIR SCHOOL DAYS.

AT THE EVENING SERVICE TONIGHT, THE SERMON TOPIC WILL BE "WHAT IS HELL?" COME EARLY AND LISTEN TO OUR CHOIR PRACTICE.

THE SERMON THIS MORNING: "JESUS WALKS ON THE WATER". THE SERMON TONIGHT: "SEARCHING FOR JESUS".

NEXT THURSDAY WILL BE TRYOUTS FOR THE CHOIR. THEY NEED ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM SUPPORT GROUP WILL MEET THURSDAY. PLEASE USE THE BACK DOOR.

BARBARA REMAINS IN THE HOSPITAL AND NEEDS BLOOD DONORS FOR MORE TRANSFUSIONS. SHE IS ALSO HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING AND REQUESTS TAPES OF PASTOR JACK'S SERMONS.

ACTUAL ONES I SAW IN THE TOWN WE PREVIOUSLY LIVED IN DURING CHRISTMASTIME...

CHILDREN'S CHRISTMAS PROGRAM THIS WEEK: "STRANGER IN THE MANGER".

ADULT CHRISTMAS PROGRAM NEXT WEEK: "IN ALL HIS GLORY".

AND MY FAVORITE...

DON'T LET WORRY KILL YOU---LET THE CHURCH HELP.

SOME THINGS I CAN’T WAIT TO DO IN THE SPRING:

-SEE PRETTY FLOWERS GROWING EVERYWHERE…ESPECIALLY THE WILD ONES ON THESE COUNTRY ROADS. THEY’RE ALWAYS SO BEAUTIFUL.

-WATCH DYLAN PLAY AND RUN OUTSIDE WITH GUS…IT’S THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD.

-WATCH THE SUNRISE AND SET.

-GO TO THE ZOO LIKE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE NEXT WINTER COMES.

-TAKE DYLAN TO THE PARK LIKE EVERYDAY.

-PLANT SOME THINGS WITH DYLAN AND HOPE THAT THEY GROW.

-JUST BE ABLE TO GO OUTSIDE FOR HOURS AND NOT WORRY ABOUT SLIPPING ON THE ICE!

-NOT HAVE TO SEE WINTER ANYMORE…IT’S ALWAYS REMINDED ME OF DEATH…AND THIS PAST WINTER ONLY MADE THAT MORE REAL TO ME. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE SOME LIFE.

LAST SPRING, DYLAN LEARNED TO SAY, “MOMMY, GOD WAKES EVERYTHING UP IN THE SPRING!”. MY HEART LONGS FOR THAT IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

"EVERY EVENING SKY, AN INVITATION TO TRACE THE PATTERNED STARS.

AND EARLY IN JULY, A CELERATION...FOR FREEDOM THAT IS OURS.AND I NOTICE YOU IN CHILDREN'S GAMES AND THOSE WHO WATCH THEM FROM THE SHADE.EVERY DROP OF SUN IS FULL OF FUN AND WONDER, YOU ARE SUMMER.

AND EVEN WHEN THE TREES HAVE JUST SURRENDERED TO THE HARVEST TIME.

FORFEIT IN THEIR LEAVES IN LATE SEPTEMBER, SENDING US INSIDE.

STILL I NOTICE YOU WHEN CHANGE BEGINS AND I AM BRACED FOR COLDER WINDS.

I WILL OFFER THANKS FOR WHAT HAS BEEN AND WHAT'S TO COME, YOU ARE AUTUMN.

AND EVERYTHING IN TIME AND UNDER HEAVEN FINALLY FALLS ASLEEP

WRAPPED IN BLANKETS WHITE, ALL CREATION SHIVERS UNDERNEATH.

STILL I NOTICE YOU WHEN BRANCHES CRACK AND IN MY BREATH ON FROSTED GLASS.

EVEN NOW IN DEATH YOU OPENED DOORS FOR LIFE TO ENTER, YOU ARE WINTER.

AND EVERYTHING THAT'S NEW HAS BRAVELY SURFACED, TEACHING US TO BREATHE.

WHAT WAS FROZEN THROUGH IS NEWLY PURPOSED, TURNING ALL THINGS GREEN.

SO IT IS WITH YOU AND HOW YOU MAKE ME NEW WITH EVERY SEASON'S CHANGE

AND SO IT WILL BE, AS YOU ARE RECREATING ME SUMMER, AUTUMN, WINTER, SPRING."

-LYRICS BY NICHOLE NORDEMAN-

HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW CHEAP I AM? WELL, I AM. IT’S THE MAIN REASON I USE CLOTH DIAPERS/PULL-UPS. IT’S THE MAIN REASON I USUALLY EAT BEANS AND VEGETABLES. I THINK I EAT OFF OF ABOUT 7 OR 8 DOLLARS A WEEK. I’M NOT KIDDING. AND I EAT EXACTLY WHAT I WANT-BEANS AND VEGGIES!! WOW, I NEVER REALIZED HOW CHEAP IT WAS.
I ALSO NEVER OWNED A CAR CHARGER FOR MY PHONE UNTIL A FEW WEEKS AGO. WHAT WAS THE REASON? CHEAPNESS. AND MY HUSBAND FINALLY BOUGHT ME ONE-IT WAS A WHOLE TEN DOLLARS. BUT HEY, THAT’S A WHOLE WEEK OF FOOD FOR ME!!!
ANYWAY, WE DON’T HAVE CABLE OR SATELLITE, EITHER. THIS IS ONLY PARTLY DUE TO THE MONEY THING, THOUGH. I DON’T THINK WE’D WATCH IT ENOUGH FOR IT TO BE WORTH IT. THOUGH, I WOULD SOOOO GIVE ANYTHING FOR A GOOD, EDUCATIONAL STATION FOR DYLAN, AND FOOD NETWORK AND TLC. IF ONLY I COULD PAY FOR ONLY THOSE CHANNELS!! BEING FRUGAL IS ALSO HOW I MANAGED TO PUT TOGETHER MY SON’S SCHOOL CURRICULUM FOR PRESCHOOL, KINDERGARTEN, AND 1ST GRADE FOR….DRUM ROLL PLEASE…….AROUND $150. NOT KIDDING. IT MIGHT EVEN BE A LITTLE LESS THAN THAT. AND I HAVE STUFF WE MAY NOT EVEN USE…WE’LL HAVE TO SEE. I’M SO PROUD OF THAT. I KNOW HOMESCHOOLING ALWAYS COMES WITH THE TEMPTATION OF BUYING AND BUYING NEW THINGS…AND IT’S EASY TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THAT.

ON ANOTHER NOTE, I’M READY FOR SPRING. THE FIRST DAY THAT’S PRETTY, WE’RE HITTING THE ZOO…IF IT’S OPEN. I’M SO EXCITED. I DO NEED A FEW IDEAS. I’M PLANNING DYLAN’S SCHOOL YEAR, AND I AM LOOKING FOR SUPER CHEAP OR FREE FIELD TRIPS. ALL YOU HOMESCHOOLING MOMMAS WHO HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE, THROW ME SOME IDEAS!!! WE ARE NEAR “BASS PRO SHOPS”, SO THAT’S ALWAYS ONE WE HIT, THEN THE ZOO, AND AFTER THAT I KEEP DRAWING A BLANK. KEEP IN MIND I HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD BOY. AND I’M CHEAP. DID I MENTION THAT? ANY HELP IS APPRECIATED SO MUCH!!!

P.S. I'M THINKING ABOUT HAVING A "BLOG GIVEAWAY". BUT HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE INTERESTED. IF YOU ARE, LEAVE A COMMENT. AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS, AS I'M NOT ABLE TO SURF AROUND A LOT ON THE INTERNET. THE NEXT POST WILL HAVE TO DO WITH THE GIVEAWAY. EITHER WAY, I'LL DO IT IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS. I JUST NEED TO KNOW IF MORE THAN ONE PERSON WOULD TAKE PART!! IT'S GOING TO BE A GOOD PRIZE. AND IF IT GOES WELL, I'M PLANNING ON DOING THEM EVERY COUPLE OF WEEKS. :)

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, BREA TAGGED ME. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, GIRL! BUT HERE'S THAT TAG. YOU'RE TO LIST 5 THINGS YOU WISH FOR PHYSICALLY, 5 YOU WISH FOR SPIRITUALLY OR MEANINGFUL...AND THEN TAG FIVE OTHER PEOPLE. HERE GOES.

"PHYSICAL WANTS"

1. I WISH I WAS ABOUT A FOOT TALLER AND THEN I'D BE A PERFECT WEIGHT FOR MY HEIGHT. (ACCORDING TO THE BMI, WHICH EVERYONE KNOWS IS ACCURATE, AM I RIGHT?....YEAH, WHATEVER. MY HUSBAND IS 6'8"...HE'S A VERY THIN GUY...AND ACCORDING TO THAT THING, HE'S OVERWEIGHT!!) BUT I STILL WISH I WERE A FOOT TALLER. MAYBE I'D BE THIN THEN!

2. I WISH I WERE FILTHY RICH SO I COULD HELP THOSE IN NEED. SERIOUSLY, NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T THINK ABOUT MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN WHO ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF HELP AND DON'T GET ANY FROM ANYONE....EVEN THE CHURCH.

3. I WISH I LOOKED LIKE SALMA HAYEK, PENELOPE CRUZ, MARISKA FROM LAW AND ORDER SVU, OR ANY OF THOSE SMOKIN' HOT ACTRESSES.......BUT NOT ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. THAT'D PROBABLY LOOK WEIRD.

4. I WISH I COULD BUILD MY HUGE DREAM HOUSE AND START ADOPTING ALL THOSE BABIES I WANT TO ADOPT.

5. I WISH, AS I'VE SAID BEFORE, THAT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND I COULD ALL LIVE TOGETHER IN A MANSION. GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR HEAVEN ON THAT ONE.

6. I WISH I COULD SPEAK FLUENTLY IN SPANISH.

7. I WISH I COULD FINISH SCHOOL BEFORE I'M 30.

8. I WISH I COULD LOVE MEAT MORE THAN I DO. I HARDLY EVER EAT IT.

"SPIRITUAL WANTS"

1. I WISH I WERE A BETTER DISCIPLE, DAUGHTER, WIFE, MOMMA, SISTER, FRIEND.......

2. I WISH I DIDN'T STRUGGLE SO MUCH WITH SELF DEPRECATION. (CAN YOU TELL?)

3. I WISH THE CHURCH OF AMERICA WOULD OPEN HER EYES AND REALIZE THAT THERE'S NO REASON FOR THE POVERTY LEVEL HERE.

4. I WISH THE CHURCH OF AMERICA WOULD LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME, NOT JUST SOME OF THE TIME. AND I WISH THEY'D ALSO SEE THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE, NOT JUST THE ONES WE LIKE.

5. I WISH THE CHURCH OF AMERICA WOULD LEARN HOW TO MOURN AND GRIEVE WITH THOSE WHO NEED IT. THIS IS SO PERSONAL RIGHT NOW. GRIEF WAS NEVER MEANT FOR US TO DEAL WITH ALONE...AND THAT'S ALL TOO OFTEN WHAT HAPPENS. I WISH SHE WERE STILL HERE.

6. I WISH I COULD SEE MY FRIENDS MORE OFTEN. IT'S PRETTY LONELY WITHOUT THEM. I HOPE THEY KNOW MY LOVE FOR THEM RUNS DEEP. :)



I TAG: HILARIE, KRYSTLE, ANDREA, BENECCA, SARAH, VICKI, MANDY, AND JIL.


OKAY, SORRY. I DID MORE THAN FIVE WISHES AND TAGGED MORE THAN FIVE!! OOPS...I COULDN'T DECIDE. :)

EDIT: SORRY, I CAN'T SEEM TO GET SOME OF THOSE HYPERLINKS TO WORK.

***SORRY, I NEED TO CLARIFY.  NO NEED TO SHARE WITH ME WHAT YOU'RE SACRIFICING, I WAS JUST CURIOUS AS TO WHETHER ANYONE ELSE WOULD BE OBSERVING***

SO, IF YOU ARE PARTICIPATING, WHAT ARE YOU SACRIFICING OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS?  JUST CURIOUS.

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE...

1. WE'RE SNOWED IN.
2. MY SWEET HUSBAND WAS AWOKEN BY DYLAN AT AROUND 5:00A.M. WITH AN INCESSANT PLEA OF "CAN WE GO PLAY IN THE SNOW NOW, DADDY...CAN WE? PWEEEEASE?"
3. MY DADDY'S COMING HERE FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!
4. I MADE COOKIES FOR THE BOYS...DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CHIP...WITH VEGGIES IN THEM. SAY WHAT? YUP. AND DID THEY EAT THEM ALL GONE? DEFINITELY.
5. THANKS TO ANDREA AND SARAH WHO'VE GIVEN MY BLOG THREE AWARDS...I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO ADD THEM TO MY PAGE. ANDREA'S WERE FROM WEEKS AND WEEKS AGO, SARAH'S WAS JUST THE OTHER DAY. THANKS SO MUCH, REALLY. YOU GALS WERE SWEET TO DO THAT. IT MAKES A LADY FEEL APPRECIATED AND THAT SOMEONE CARES! :)







P.S. PLEASE PRAY EXTRA FOR MY FAMILY THIS WEEK. MY MOMMA'S BIRTHDAY IS FEBRUARY 7TH. IT'S GOING TO BE ROUGH. THANKS SO MUCH.

SUNDAYS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT OTHERS WHO'VE DEALT WITH GRIEF LIKE THIS, BUT I KNOW FOR ME, SUNDAYS ARE ALWAYS HARD. I THINK ESPECIALLY NOW BECAUSE OUR CULTURE IS SO GOOD ABOUT HIDING HOW THEY'RE REALLY DOING, SO THEY GET UP AND GO TO CHURCH, AND PRETEND EVERYTHING'S ALL PEACHY (I'VE ALSO DONE THIS) AND SING THESE SONGS TOGETHER...SAY, "HI, HOW ARE YOU?"...AND ANSWER, "OH, I'M FINE, THANK YOU." AND USUALLY, IT'S NOT FINE. PEOPLE ARE DEALING WITH MONEY PROBLEMS, FAMILY PROBLEMS, HEALTH PROBLEMS, SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS....YET YOU ALWAYS HEAR, "I'M FINE, THANKS". SO MANY PEOPLE ASK ME THAT, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? DO THEY REALLY WANT TO KNOW? AND AT THE SAME TIME, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. BUT I'M OFFENDED IF SOMEONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP. WHAT A WAY TO FEEL. I FELT SO FOREIGN FOR FEELING THAT WAY, WHICH IS WHY I'VE LOVED READING "A GRIEF OBSERVED". C.S. LEWIS WROTE SO MUCH OF THE EXACT THINGS I HAD BEEN FEELING, AND IT'S JUST SORT OF A COMFORT. I CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT PART. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW HAS EXPERIENCED LOSING A LOVED ONE, THERE'S AN AUTOMATIC CONNECTION. SORT OF AN "I KNOW, I HURT TOO. IT'S OKAY. I HATE THIS PAIN, TOO...". THERE'S A MAN IN TOWN WHO WE KNOW WHO LOST HIS WIFE SOME TIME AGO. TODAY I HAD MY HUSBAND ASK HIM TO COME SIT WITH US, WE WERE AT THE SAME RESTAURANT. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, BUT I JUST WANTED HIM TO BE NEAR US, JUST TO SORT OF LET HIM KNOW I'M GRIEVING, TOO. AND IT JUST HELPED ME TO KNOW SOMEONE WAS NEAR ME WHO HAS EXPERIENCED THIS UNBEARABLE HURT. IF YOU'VE DEALT WITH THIS, THE FOLLOWING EXCERPTS FROM C.S. LEWIS' BOOK WILL MAKE SO MUCH SENSE TO YOU:

"NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT GRIEF FELT SO LIKE FEAR. I AM NOT AFRAID, BUT THE SENSATION IS LIKE BEING AFRAID.......I KEEP ON SWALLOWING. AT OTHER TIMES IT FEELS LIKE BEING MILDLY DRUNK, OR CONCUSSED. THERE IS A SORT OF INVISIBLE BLANKET BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME. I FIND IT HARD TO TAKE IN WHAT ANYONE SAYS. OR PERHAPS, HARD TO WANT TO TAKE IT IN. IT IS SO UNINTERESTING. YET I WANT OTHERS TO BE ABOUT ME. I DREAD THE MOMENTS WHEN THE HOUSE IS EMPTY. IF ONLY THEY WOULD TALK TO ONE ANOTHER AND NOT TO ME."...

"AN ODD BYPRODUCT OF MY LOSS IS THAT I'M AWARE OF BEING AN EMBARRASSMENT TO EVERYONE I MEET. AT WORK, AT THE CLUB, IN THE STREET, I SEE PEOPLE, AS THEY APPROACH ME, TRYING TO MAKE UP THEIR MINDS WHETHER THEY'LL 'SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT' OR NOT. I HATE IT IF THEY DO, AND IF THEY DON'T. ......... PERHAPS THE BEREAVED OUGHT TO BE ISOLATED IN SPECIAL SETTLEMENTS LIKE LEPERS. TO SOME I'M WORSE THAN AN EMBARRASSMENT. I AM DEATH'S HEAD. "

"THE ACT OF LIVING IS DIFFERENT ALL THROUGH. HER ABSENCE IS LIKE THE SKY, SPREAD OVER EVERYTHING."

-A GRIEF OBSERVED, BY C.S. LEWIS-

I MISS HER TERRIBLY.