*MY SISTER-IN-LAW IS STILL DOING ABOUT THE SAME.  PLEASE CONTINUE PRAYING FOR HER AND THE WHOLE FAMILY.  AS OF NOW, ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE THAT SHE FULLY RECOVERS, AND SOON.  SOME PEOPLE DON'T REGAIN COMPLETE MOVEMENT  THROUGHOUT THEIR BODIES AND LIMBS, WE'RE PRAYING THAT'S NOT THE CASE FOR HER, THAT SHE REGAINS EVERYTHING.  IT COULD BE MONTHS TO A FULL YEAR BEFORE SHE'S FULLY OVER ALL OF THIS.  

*I'D REALLY APPRECIATE PRAYER FOR OUR FAMILY, TOO.  THERE'S LOTS HAPPENING.  AND SEEING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON APPROACHING SOON HAS MADE ME MISS MY MOMMA DESPERATELY.  I CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE SOMETIMES, BECAUSE CHRISTMAS WAS HER ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR.  HOWEVER, THE MOMENTS ARE STILL SO OFTEN THAT I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE SHE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE TO SHARE LIFE WITH US.  

*I'M QUITE APPALLED WITH THIS MOVEMENT OF "BELIEVERS" LATELY WHO HAVE BEEN SO QUICK TO JUDGE BARACK OBAMA.  I DID NOT LIKE EITHER CANDIDATE THIS YEAR, BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS MAN WAS ELECTED TO LEAD OUR COUNTRY.  IF YOU ARE A TRUE "BELIEVER", THEN YOU MUST ADHERE TO THE FACT THAT THIS MAN WAS ORDAINED TO FILL THIS SPOT.  SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT HIM BEING MUSLIM, THE ANTI-CHRIST, ANTI-AMERICAN, ETC.....HOW DISGUSTING FOR "BELIEVERS" TO TAKE PART IN GOSSIP!!  HOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT THE "CHRISTIAN" THING TO DO???!!?!  IF YOU HEAR SUCH NONSENSE, REMIND YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF HOW DISGUSTING IT IS TO TREAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THIS WAY.  WE SHOULD BE PRAYING FOR HIM, JUST AS WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR BUSH AND EVERY PRESIDENT BEFORE AND AFTER THIS TIME.  WE ANSWER TO ONE LORD.  AND HE HAS APPOINTED THIS MAN.  DON'T BE A PART OF TEARING DOWN HUMANITY.  "PRO-LIFE" DOES NOT JUST MEAN "NO ABORTIONS".....IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY YOU'RE "PRO-LIFE".....THEN BE PRO-LIFE ALL AROUND.......LOVE OTHERS, GIVE TO OTHERS, TAKE CARE OF THE NEEDY, TAKE CARE OF THE WIDOWS AND ORPHANS,......."TREAT OTHERS THE SAME WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU".........."LOVE YOUR ENEMIES"............"HONOUR ALL PEOPLE, LOVE THE BROTHERHOOD, FEAR GOD, HONOUR THE KING".     

*LET'S TRY TO REMEMBER HOW TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER INSTEAD OF SO QUICKLY JUDGING AND TEARING DOWN.  

SO ABOUT THREE HOURS AGO I WAS JUST EXHAUSTED. IN LIGHT OF THE PAST YEAR'S EVENTS, WITH THE PAST WEEK PILED ON, MY SON'S ALLERGIES OR A COLD BUGGING HIM, GETTING READY TO LOAD UP ON THE ROAD IN THE MORNING.......I STARTED REALLY MISSING MY MOMMA SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO FOCUS ON THAT, AS THERE IS MUCH ON MY HUSBAND'S PLATE RIGHT NOW. SO I WALKED OVER TO MY HUSBAND WHO IS, WELL, IN A WORD WEARY. I PUT MY ARMS AROUND HIM, SMILED REALLY BIG AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING......WITH HOW STINKY THINGS HAVE BEEN, LIFE CAN ONLY GET BETTER, RIGHT? I MEAN IT HAS TO GET BETTER.....AND EVEN IF IT DOES GET WORSE SOMEHOW, THEN IT STILL HAS TO GET BETTER AFTER THAT!".......

A SHORT TIME AFTER THAT, MY HUSBAND COMES IN FROM LOADING THE VAN AND MANAGES TO SQUEEZE OUT OF HIS FRUSTRATED LIPS, "I HAVE TO TAKE THE BATTERY AND GET IT CHECKED. THE VAN WON'T START. IT'S EITHER THE BATTERY OR SOMETHING WORSE....PRAY IT'S NOT THE 'SOMETHING WORSE'." SERIOUSLY? GOD, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!!?!?!?!?
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THOSE SITCOMS WHERE THINGS ARE JUST SO RIDICULOUSLY BAD FOR SOMEONE THAT ALL YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH BECAUSE IT'S REALLY NEVER THAT BAD ALL AT ONCE IN A PERSON'S LIFE......HAHA. YEAH, RIGHT. WE'RE IN THAT SITCOM RIGHT NOW.

IT WAS THE BATTERY, THANK GOD. IT WASN'T "SOMETHING WORSE". THANK YOU LORD. EDIT: WHEN HE WENT TO DOUBLE CHECK EVERYTHING ON THE VAN, HE PULLED UP AND WAS NOTIFIED BY THE MEN WHO WORKED THERE THAT WE HAD A HEADLIGHT OUT. SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!

AN HOUR AFTER THAT MY SON WOKE UP FROM A MUCH NEEDED NAP, HE WAS IN ONE OF THOSE, "I'M SO SICK, HUNGRY, HOMESICK, TIRED, AND EXHAUSTED, SO ALL I'M GOING TO DO IS THROW A FIT BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO" KIND OF MOODS. AS I PICKED HIM UP WHILE HE WAS JUST FLAILING ABOUT, CRYING AND WHINING, I WHISPERED IN HIS EAR, "IT'S ALRIGHT, MOMMA'S HERE. EVERYTHING'S OKAY BECAUSE MOMMA'S HERE".....AND I LET HIM JUST THROW A FIT WHILE I HELD HIM IN MY ARMS. AND AS I WAS LIVING THROUGH THIS MOMENT, I REMEMBERED THAT'S WHAT OUR LORD DOES WITH US. I WANT TO DO THE SAME THING MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD WAS DOING, I WANT TO JUST LOSE IT AND CRY AND SCREAM AND PITCH THE BIGGEST FIT I CAN THROW ALL AT ONCE.......BECAUSE I KNOW WHEN I DO, GOD WILL WHISPER THE SAME THING, "IT'S OKAY, I'M HERE....EVERYTHING'S OKAY BECAUSE I'M HERE."

*AS I SIT HERE TO ENTER A NEW POST, DEREK WEBB'S SONG "THIS TOO SHALL BE MADE RIGHT" BEGINS TO PLAY. SO APPROPRIATE FOR RIGHT NOW. REMEMBER SEVERAL POSTS BACK, I TYPED IN AN ENTRY, "EVER FEEL LIKE LIFE'S JUST BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU"??? MAN, I'M READY FOR THE BEATINGS TO STOP!! LONG STORY SHORT MY HUSBAND'S BABY SISTER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH GUILLAIN-BARRE SYNDROME. AS OF NOW, HIS PARENTS ARE THERE WITH HER IN THE HOSPITAL. SHE'S NOT DOING WELL, HAD A BETTER NIGHT LAST NIGHT, BUT TODAY HASN'T BEEN SO GOOD FOR HER. PLEASE PRAY FOR HER, I KNOW SHE'S SCARED, AS IS THE REST OF HER FAMILY. WE CAN'T BE THERE, WHICH IS PRETTY TOUGH ON DARRYL RIGHT NOW. BUT WE ARE WHERE WE NEED TO BE, TAKING CARE OF DARRYL'S UNCLE WHO HAS TO HAVE A CAREGIVER. I COVET YOUR PRAYERS.

*WE FOUND OUT FROM AN EVENING PHONE CALL THAT ALL THIS WAS HAPPENING, AND HAD TO PACK QUICKLY AND HEAD OUT THE DOOR. THE LAST TIME I DID THIS WAS DECEMBER WHEN OUR LIVES WHERE CHANGED FOREVER WITH THE TRAGEDY THAT HAPPENED TO MY MOMMA, FOLLOWED BY HER PASSING.

*I KNOW BLOGS CAN BE FUN, AND I REALIZE THAT MANY LADIES SEARCH BLOGS LOOKING FOR SOME LAUGHS, SOME ENCOURAGEMENT, HOUSEKEEPING TIPS, PARENTING TIPS, ETC. THOUGH I SO QUICKLY WANT TO SAY "SORRY YOU CAN'T FIND THAT HERE".......I CAN'T REALLY APOLOGIZE FOR REALITY. THIS HAS BEEN MY REALITY LATELY, THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS, EVEN NOW. THIS IS THE PATH THAT GOD HAS SET MY FAMILY ON. SOMETIMES IN LIFE, OUR OWN BAD DECISIONS LEAD TO FACING CONSEQUENCES. YET THERE ARE TIMES WHEN GOD ALLOWS US TO LIVE THROUGH DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, POSSIBLY YEARS WITHOUT EXPERIENCING FABULOUS, JOYOUS TIMES. AND THE THING IS, I HAVE BECOME CLOSER TO HIM THROUGH ALL OF THIS. BECAUSE I HAD TO FACE THE GRIEF OF LOSING MY SWEET MOMMA UNEXPECTEDLY, I HAD A CHOICE. I COULD BECOME BITTER, SHUT THE ONES THAT I LOVE OUT OF MY LIFE, NOT TRUST GOD, IGNORE THE OBVIOUS REALITY OF LIFE THAT WAS HAPPENING AROUND ME.......ALL OF WHICH IS SUCH AN EASY THING TO DO WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN. OR, I COULD FACE WHAT WAS HAPPENING, AND HEAD STRAIGHT THROUGH IT, KNOWING THE ROAD AHEAD WOULD BE FILLED WITH PAIN. FOR ME, THAT WAS WHAT I DID...PLOWED RIGHT THROUGH. BECAUSE ALL OF THE UGLINESS IN THIS LIFE, ALL OF THE HEARTACHE, ALL OF THE HURT, THE TEARS, THE WORRIES, THE FEARS............WILL ALL BE UNDONE ONE DAY. SO I DO CRY, I DO MOURN, I DO SPEAK ABOUT MY MOMMA SO OFTEN BECAUSE I MISS HER!!!......I GET LONELY SOMETIMES, I GET AFRAID, BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE!!!!!!! HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS MY HEART AND HE UNDERSTANDS. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE IS HERE WITH ME, AND HE SAYS, "MY DAUGHTER I HURT WITH YOU..".... THAT IS WHY I TRUST HIM. THAT IS WHY I STILL LOVE HIM. THAT IS WHY I FOLLOW HIM. THAT IS WHY I SERVE HIM AND HIS CHILDREN. BECAUSE HE HIMSELF HOLDS THE POWER OF THE VERY BREATH WE HAVE IN THIS LIFE....AND HE ALONE IS THE ONE WHO ENDS OUR BREATH HERE. SO LADIES, RIGHT NOW THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO OFFER. THAT IS MY LIFE FOR THIS TIME. PLEASE KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE YOU READING MY THOUGHTS, I APPRECIATE YOUR COMMENTS. AND RIGHT NOW, I REALLY ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS. MAYBE MY BEING TOTALLY CANDID WITH WHAT'S HAPPENING IN MY LIFE WILL MAKE SOME OTHER LADY KNOW THAT SHE IS NOT ALONE IN HER PAIN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


"THIS, TOO SHALL BE MADE RIGHT."

A RECAP.

*FORGOT TO MENTION THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I HAD TO USE A PORT-A-POTTY AT THAT CORN MAZE WE WENT TO…….I AM FOREVER SCARRED BECAUSE OF IT. UGH.

*ON THURSDAY, I GOT TO TRY ON BRIDESMAID DRESSES FOR A FRIEND'S WEDDING. THAT WAS FUN. SHE LET US PICK OUT WHATEVER DRESS WE WANTED, BUT IT JUST HAD TO BE A CERTAIN COLOR. I'VE LOST A FEW POUNDS AND HAVE BEEN EXERCISING A BIT, AND CAN I JUST SAY THAT I WAS ROCKIN' THAT DRESS?!?! AM I ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ON MY OWN BLOG? HAHAHA. THAT'S A BIG STEP FOR ME, SINCE I NEVER, EVER, EVER THINK I AM PRETTY AT ALL.

*I GOT INVITED TO HELP LEAD WORSHIP AT A CONFERENCE MY SISTER DID OVER THE WEEKEND, AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. I HAVE SUCH A HEART FOR DOING THAT, AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS. SISTER DID A WONDERFUL JOB, AND IT ALL WENT VERY SMOOTHLY. UNTIL I GOT HOME SATURDAY NIGHT…

*EITHER FOOD POISONING OR A LIL’ STOMACH BUG GOT HOLD OF ME LATE SATURDAY NIGHT. IT. WAS. NOT. FUN. I FELT LIKE I WAS KNOCKING ON DEATH’S DOOR ABOUT 12:30A.M.

*DARRYL HAD THE BABY ALL EVENING FRIDAY AND ALL DAY YESTERDAY, FOR SOME “DADDY-DYLAN” TIME…..THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN. AND OF COURSE ATE THINGS LIKE PIZZA, DARRYL’S HOMEMADE BROWNIES (YES, HE’S GOOD LIKE THAT)…….AND WATCHED MOVIES. ALSO, DARRYL DID SOME CRAZY CLEANING FOR ME, THINGS I NEVER HAVE TIME TO DO, LIKE MAKE THE TOP OF THE FRIDGE LOOK NICE, CLEANED AND ORGANIZED MY PANTRY, AND REPLACED ALL THOSE SHINY THINGIES ON MY STOVETOP. NOT TO MENTION HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN I CAME DOWN WITH THAT CRUD LAST NIGHT…….ALL IN THE MIDST OF HAVING TO PREPARE FOR HIS FIRST EXAM ON MONDAY!!! I LOVE THAT MAN. SERIOUSLY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY GOD GAVE ME SUCH AN AMAZING HUSBAND, I DO NOT DESERVE HIM. HE LOVES ME COMPLETELY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY, AND UNCONDITIONALLY. HE IS CONSTANTLY A BLESSING TO ME AND DYLAN. MY PARENTS WERE VERY PROUD TO GIVE HIM MY HAND IN MARRIAGE. AND DID I MENTION HE’S PRETTY DARN GOOD-LOOKIN’, TOO? HEHE.

*I AM SO TIRED. MY CHEST HURTS FROM VOMITING. GROSS, HUH? BUT IT’S TRUE. IT ACHES SO BADLY. PLEASE PRAY THAT THIS IS ALL OVER WITH SOON. I’D APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH!!

A PRAYER.

THEY SAY TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS,
BUT YOU REMIND ME THAT’S NOT TRUE…
WE’LL ALWAYS CARRY THE MEMORIES,
WE’LL JUST HAVE TO LEAN MORE ON YOU.

I USED TO THINK I COULD JUST READ A BOOK
TO TELL ME HOW TO DEAL
WITH ALL THE GRIEF, ALL THE HEARTACHE,
BUT NOW I KNOW WHAT’S REAL.

YOU’VE OFFERED TO TAKE MY BURDENS,
EACH AND EVERY ONE I CARRY…
PLEASE LORD, SHOULDER THIS PAIN FOR ME,
COME NOW, FATHER, DO NOT TARRY.

THOUGH THIS PROBABLY WON’T BE THE
LAST TIME GRIEF COMES KNOCKING AT MY DOOR,
I KNOW THAT YOU WILL CARRY ME THROUGH,
LORD….I KNOW THAT NOW MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.

WE READ IN YOUR GOOD BOOK THAT
DEATH IS A PART OF THIS LIFE HERE…
AND WE WILL HAVE TO FACE IT,
ALL THE WHILE KNOWING YOU ARE NEAR.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO COMFORT ME,
AND OTHERS WHO SHOULDER SUCH PAIN.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO HUG US TIGHT,
HELP US CLING TO YOU THROUGH THE RAIN.

WHILE I REMEMBER THIS TRAGEDY, LORD,
WHILE I RE-LIVE THE PAIN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
THANK YOU FOR THE PROMISE THAT YOU ARE HERE,
AND THANK YOU FOR STILL ALLOWING ME TO SMILE.

JESSICA SCHAFER October 14, 2008

*WELL, IT WENT JUST AS QUICKLY AS IT CAME. AND NOW I’M 28. I HONESTLY DON’T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT. I WAS TELLING SOME FRIENDS TODAY THAT I THINK BETWEEN 21-29, NOT A LOT HAPPENS. I MEAN, LIFE HAPPENS, AND IT DEFINITELY CHANGES YOU. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HOW I LOOK AND “FEEL”…..PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THERE.

*DARRYL TOOK ME AWAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. IT WAS A LOT OF FUN. HE SPOILED ME, AS USUAL. HE ALWAYS GOES OVERBOARD. HE TOOK ME SHOPPING, TO A JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE, WE ALL WENT TO ANOTHER FALL FESTIVAL PLACE WITH A CORN MAZE, PUMPKIN PATCH, PONY RIDE, ETC…..DYLAN LOVED THAT. THEY GOT ME “THE WIZARD OF OZ” MONOPOLY GAME AND A STEAMER THAT I HAD BEEN WANTING FOREVER TO USE INSTEAD OF AN IRON………WHICH, BY THE WAY IS AWESOME. AND IT WAS VERY AFFORDABLE, TOO. WE WERE DRIVING HOME AND HE SAID, “BABY, I JUST WANTED TO KEEP YOU BUSY AND HAVING A GOOD TIME….”….HE KNEW IT WAS A TOUGH DAY FOR ME. I LOVE THAT MAN.

*AND YES, IT WAS TOUGH. IT JUST WASN’T THE SAME WITHOUT MY MOMMA CALLING ME OR BEING HERE WITH ME. IT’S HARD WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. I MEAN, ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEE A GAL MY AGE HANGING OUT WITH HER MOMMA AND HER GRANDMOTHER, TOO…….I FIND MYSELF ENVYING HER IN SO MANY WAYS. I KNOW THAT’LL NEVER BE ME. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMA AGAIN. I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW ANOTHER MOMMA WHO WAS AS HILARIOUS AS HER. SHE WAS ALWAYS MAKING PEOPLE SMILE AND LAUGH.

*KNOWING THAT IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN, THAT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE, I STILL FOUND MYSELF WAITING FOR MY MOMMA TO CALL ME ALL DAY ON MY BIRTHDAY. THERE WAS JUST THIS SMALL PART OF ME THAT WISHED IT SO MUCH THAT I FOUND MYSELF, IN MOMENTS THAT WERE FLEETING, WAITING TO HEAR HER VOICE. ANOTHER THING THAT JUST BREAKS MY HEART IS WHEN WE’RE OUT IN PUBLIC, AROUND A SEA OF PEOPLE, I’LL SEE A LADY OFF IN THE DISTANCE WITH HER HAIR COLOR, OR A SHIRT THAT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF HERS, AND I’LL TAKE THREE OR FOUR LOOKS THINKING, “OH, DARRYL, THERE’S MOMMA…..HOLD ON, LET ME GO GET HER AND TELL HER WE’RE HERE….I WONDER WHAT SHE’S DOING HERE?!?!....”…..AND THEN I REMEMBER. I HATE THOSE MOMENTS WHEN I HAVE TO REMEMBER REALITY.

*THANK YOU, MANDY AND BEN, FOR REMINDING ME IN THE PREVIOUS POST THAT IT’S OKAY TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS OF GRIEF AND MISSING MY MOMMA….AND REMINDING ME THAT THE FRIENDS I HAVE THAT LOVE ME WILL MEET ME THERE.

*LET’S SEE…..IT’S BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE. AND IT WAS YESTERDAY, TOO. FALL IS WONDERFUL.

*I’M SO TIRED OF ALL THE ANTI-MCCAIN AND ANTI-OBAMA ADS, BOOKS, ETC…OUT THERE. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO PEOPLE JUST SAYING, “HEY, THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR ME….”…..INSTEAD OF LASHING OUT? AND BOTH SIDES ARE GUILTY OF THIS. IT GIVES ME A HEADACHE. AND IT’S SO OBVIOUS THAT WHAT THEY SAY TO ATTACK EACH OTHER IS NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH, THEY JUST TAKE OUT WHAT THEY KNOW WILL MAKE THE OTHER LOOK BAD, AND LEAVE OUT THE REST OF THE TRUTH. AYAYAY.

*WE GOT A NEW EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM DARRYL’S PARENTS…..A VIDEO CAMERA!! I LOVE IT. IT DOES BOTH PICTURES AND VIDEO, AND IT TAKES SOME GOOD SHOTS. MY FAVORITE THING IS THAT YOU CAN JUST HOOK IT RIGHT UP TO THE T.V. AND LOOK AT ALL THE PICS ON THERE!! WOW!! I WAS AMAZED. I’M SURE THIS HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE, BUT WE HARDLY EVER GET TO BUY NEW FANCY TECHNOLOGICAL STUFF…..SO THIS CAMERA IS THE STUFF IN MY OPINION!! AND WHEN I FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT PICS ON THE COMPUTER…..I’LL POST SOME.

*ANOTHER THING I DID OVER THE WEEKEND WAS GET MY EYES CHECKED, FINALLY!!! YAY!! IT HAD BEEN TWO YEARS I HAD GONE FOR MY CONTACTS, AND I THINK FIVE YEARS SINCE I'D BEEN FOR MY GLASSES. SO, I GOT GLASSES AND CONTACTS. AND YES, MY EYES WERE A BIT WORSE. I LIKE MY GLASSES, AND DARRYL SAID THEY REMIND HIM OF MY NEICE'S GLASSES.....ROCK ON!! WE HAVE SOME GOOD TASTE!! :)

*MY SWEET, SWEET, SWEET FRIEND REBECCA HAS AN EXCITING WEEK AHEAD!!!!!!!!! WE’RE PRAYING FOR YOU!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

*I MISS MY FRIENDS EXTREMELY TODAY. MY HEART WANTS TO BE WITH THEM!!! LOVE YOU, PEOPLE!!!

THINGS TO SHARE.

*WE FINALLY TOOK THE BEAN TO SEE “KUNG-FU PANDA”….WHICH HE CALLS “COME-FWEEN PANDA’…..HEHEHE. HE SPEAKS CLEARLY, HE JUST THINKS THAT’S WHAT THE MOVIE WAS CALLED. AFTERWARDS, I SAID, “SO, WHAT WAS YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE MOVIE?”……”WHEN THE PANDA SAID, ‘SKADOOOSH’!”….HAHAHA.

*WE GOT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY SISTER AND HER FAMILY LAST NIGHT, WHICH WAS OF COURSE FUN. WE LOVE LIVING NEAR THEM. THANKS FOR THE PORK CHOPS, SISTER! AND THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT, I FEEL SPECIAL!!

*IT WAS CHILLY OUTSIDE THIS MORNING, SO I GOT TO SPORT MY NEW COAT…….I LOVE MY COAT! BUT I STILL LOVE THAT OLD LEOPARD PRINT ONE, TRUST ME, SHE’LL STILL GET WORN, TOO.

*I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR MY BIG BIRTHDAY BASH. IT’LL BE WEIRD (AS MY SISTER AND I TALKED LAST NIGHT, HER BIRTHDAY WAS JUST A FEW DAYS AGO…) NOT HEARING MY MOMMA’S VOICE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. SHE ALWAYS CALLED EARLY TO TELL ME….SHE WAS ALWAYS THE FIRST TO CALL ALL OF US. I WAS BORN AT 1:11 A.M., SO THERE WERE EVEN TIMES SHE’D CALL ME THEN!! OH MY GOODNESS, I MISS THAT WOMAN SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT. I’D GIVE ANYTHING TO HEAR HER VOICE THAT MORNING.

*I FIGURED SOMETHING OUT THE OTHER DAY THAT REALLY PUTS QUITE SIMPLY THE WAY PEOPLE TREAT OTHERS WHO ARE HURTING. I WAS WATCHING AN EPOSIDE OF A SITCOM WHERE THE DAUGHTER IS REALLY SAD, AND SHE WAS TALKING TO HER FATHER. THE FATHER SAID, “HEY LISTEN, YOU CAN GO BE ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED SOMEWHERE ELSE, BECAUSE WHEN YOU’RE AROUND ME, YOU START MAKING ME DEPRESSED!”…………IT WAS QUITE CHILLING. IT REALLY PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO BE AROUND OTHERS WHO ARE HURTING, BECAUSE THEY JUST MIGHT HURT, THEMSELVES…..SO THEY SHUT THEM OUT. WHICH IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT JESUS DID. (HEAVEN FORBID WE ACTUALLY “FEEL” THE PAIN THAT OTHERS ARE FEELING, RIGHT?!?!) LORD FORGIVE ME FOR THE TIMES THAT I’VE DONE THE SAME. HELP ME SEE OTHERS THROUGH YOUR EYES, AND NOT MY OWN.

*I. CAN’T. STAND. PUTTING. LAUNDRY. AWAY. NOTICE I SAID “PUTTING IT AWAY”…. I LOVE WASHING THEM, DRYING THEM, FOLDING THEM, EVEN PUTTING THEM ON HANGERS. BUT THAT LAST STEP JUST ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY OF MY DAY!!! ARGHHHHHHH.

*I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT WHEN WE WERE AT THE FALL FESTIVAL THINGY-MA-JIG LAST WEEKEND, THERE WAS A LIL' PETTING ZOO WITH BUNNIES AND POT-BELLIED PIGS. DARRYL PICKED UP THE BABY PIG FOR DYLAN TO PET IT, IT WAS SO CUTE. DYLAN HAD A WONDERFUL TIME RUNNING AFTER ALL OF THEM, AND HE FINALLY CAUGHT THE BUNNY.....WHICH LOOKED QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE.....BUT HE CAUGHT HIM AND SHOUTED, "LOOK, I GOT HIM, I GOT HIM!!!"......IT WAS SO CUTE.

*I’VE ALWAYS BEEN OBSESSED WITH ORGANIZING THINGS. MY RECENT LOVE IS THE LITTLE SHOE HANGY THINGIES. (LIKE HOW I CALLED ‘EM THAT?) YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, THE ONES YOU HANG ON THE BACK OF A DOOR AND YOU PUT YOUR SHOES IN THEM? THEY ARE SEE THROUGH THINGS YOU PUT ON YOUR DOOR AND THEY HAVE POCKETS!!!!!! POCKETS, POCKETS, POCKETS!!!!!!!! THERE ARE NOW THREE THROUGHOUT MY HOUSE. AND TWO LITTLE ONES IN THE SCHOOLROOM. I LOVE THEM. THE ONE IN THE BATHROOM IS PERFECT FOR HAIRSPRAY, DEODORANT, TOOTHPASTE, MOUTHWASH, TOILET PAPER, CONTACTS, GLASSES, ETC…… I EVEN PUT ONE IN THE KITCHEN ON THE FRONT OF OUR LAUNDRY ROOM DOOR, AND PUT THINGS LIKE BAGGIES, SMALL PAPER PLATES, RICE, BEANS, LIL’ TREATS, COOKING UTENSILS……OH MY GOODNESS, I’M OBSESSED WITH THEM. ANYTHING THAT ORGANIZES OUR STUFF AND MAKES THE HOUSE ROOMIER, I’M A SUCKER FOR!!! QUICK, GO GET ONE OF THESE….OR TWO!!! IT’LL MAKE LIFE JUST A BIT SWEETER. DON’T YOU JUST LOVE THE LIL’ THINGS IN LIFE?!?!?. ;)

MY HEART ACHES IN SUCH A WAY TODAY
A WORD TO DESCRIBE IT, I CAN’T FIND.
THE WORLD IS DIFFERENT NOW, NOT AS BRIGHT,
MOMMA…SINCE YOU LEFT US ALL BEHIND.

THERE’S SUCH AN EMPTINESS, A VOID
THAT ANOTHER WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO FILL.
I’M SO HAPPY WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS….
THEN I WAKE UP TO WHAT’S REAL.

SOME DAYS I DON’T WANT TO GET UP AT ALL…
I JUST WANT TO PRETEND IT’S ALL A DREAM
I WANT TO TURN BACK THOSE HUGE HANDS OF TIME
I THINK THAT’D BE BETTER….SO IT SEEMS.

RAINBOWS AREN’T AS SWEET NOW,
HUGS STILL SEEM SO BARE TO ME…
THE FLOWERS AREN’T AS BEAUTIFUL
SINCE I DON’T HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME.

I SEE YOUR FACE IN EVERY PERSON
YET I SEE YOU NOWHERE.
I KEEP HOPING AND PRAYING SOMEHOW
I CAN OVERCOME THIS DESPAIR.

BUT I KNOW THAT I’LL CARRY YOU WITH ME,
JUST AS I’LL CONTINUE TO CARRY THE GRIEF.
AND I KNOW THAT AT THE END OF ALL THINGS
WE’LL BE REUNITED, AND I’LL HAVE RELIEF.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU TOUCHED,
HOW YOU BROUGHT HOPE AND LAUGHTER TO US ALL…
MOMMA, I’LL BE MISSING YOU EVERY WINTER AND SPRING,
THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER AND THE FALL.

SO AS I PLOUGH THROUGH EACH DAY WITHOUT YOU,
THOUGH PART OF ME WILL ALWAYS BE EMPTY…
I’LL BE CARRYING A PART OF YOU AROUND,
UNTIL YOUR FACE AGAIN I SEE.

I STILL NEED MY MOMMA, I NEED YOU SO MUCH…
JUST ANY OTHER MOTHER FIGURE WON’T DO.
I’M STILL A LITTLE GIRL,
AND I’LL STILL ALWAYS NEED YOU.

JESSICA SCHAFER October 6, 2008

FUN FALL THINGS.

*WE GOT TO GO SEE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE FRIENDS IN A NEARBY CITY YESTERDAY, AND IT WAS SOME MUCH NEEDED TIME. WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!! IT’S KINDA HARD SOMETIMES, LIVING AWAY FROM ALL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. SO WE NEEDED THIS TIME, AND I HOPE THEY ENJOYED IT, TOO!!

*WE ALL WENT TO A CUTE LIL’ PLACE TOGETHER THAT WE THOUGHT DYLAN WOULD ENJOY. BUT I THINK I LIKED IT MORE THAN HE DID!! WE GOT TO DO A HAYRIDE, AND HE EVEN GOT TO RIDE A LIL’ PONY. IT WAS ADORABLE. INSTEAD OF A CORN MAZE, THEY HAD A “HAY MAIZE”…SO IT WASN’T TOO HARD, BUT DARRYL SAID, “DOES IT COUNT IF I CAN SEE OVER IT?!?!”…HAHAHA. (HE’S 6’8”….SO IT WASN’T THE SAME FOR HIM)

*THEY HAD A HUGE AREA FILLED WITH PUMPKINS, SQUASH, MAIZE, AND ALL KINDS OF ODD LOOKING GOURDS….SO DYLAN HAD A BLAST RUNNING AROUND FINDING THE PERFECT LIL’ PUMPKIN…..WE HAD HIM PICK ONLY A LIL’ ONE, BECAUSE WE’LL BUY THE BIG ONE LATER TO CARVE.

*NEEDLESS TO SAY, SEEING AUNT NANNY WARMED MY LIL’ PEA-PICKIN’ HEART. I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!

*MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP, AND SOME OF YOU GUESSED AT MY AGE. GOOD GUESSES, BY THE WAY. I CAN’T REMEMBER IF ANYONE GUESSED THE RIGHT ONE, THOUGH. I’LL BE THE BIG 28!! WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT 28 WOULD FEEL SO YOUNG. I SWEAR, I STILL FEEL LIKE I’M TWENTY YEARS OLD. NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED, EXCEPT FOR THE LOVELY STRETCH MARKS FROM MY HANDSOME LIL’ SON. (BY THE WAY, I’LL BE MISSING MY MOMMA EXTRA THIS WHOLE WEEK LEADING UP TO MY BIRTHDAY, SO IF YOU THINK OF IT, PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ME. I’D REALLY APPRECIATE IT.)

*DYLAN LOVES TO HELP ME PICK UP AROUND THE HOUSE. HE ALWAYS HAS TWO CHORES WHEN WE CLEAN UP, 1: GATHER ALL RANDOM DIRTY CLOTHES (MOSTLY HIS UNDIES AND HIS DADDY’S SOCKS) AND PUT THEM IN A PILE. 2: ROUND UP ALL HIS BOOKS AND STACK THEM TOGETHER. THE OTHER DAY, HE WAS SPORTIN’ HIS WHITE BUTTON-DOWN DOCTOR COAT AND HAD ALL THE OTHER DOCTOR GEAR ON, AND I ASKED HIM TO HELP MOMMY PICK UP. HE QUICKLY SAID, “MOMMY, I’M A DOCTOR, DOCTOR’S DON’T DO LAUNDRY!”……..”UH, YES THEY DO. THEY DO WHAT THEIR MOMMAS SAY OR THEY WILL CERTAINLY HAVE TO SIT IN TIME OUT.”………IT WAS SO HARD NOT TO CRACK UP LAUGHING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. CLEVER LIL’ THANG.

*FALL IS HERE. IT SMELLS “CRISP” OUTSIDE. I NEED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED, I’LL NEVER SAY ONLINE HOW RIDICULOUSLY LONG IT’S BEEN…..IT’S THE REASON I CONSTANTLY HAVE HEADACHES. JUST PLAIN SILLY THAT I HAVEN’T GONE YET. I’LL DO THAT SOON…..WHEN I HAVE SOME SPARE TIME……WHICH MEANS I’LL PROBABLY NEVER GO.

READY FOR GOOD.

TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT HAS NOT BEEN SO GREAT….
IT’S BEEN FILLED WITH SORROW AND PAIN.
I’M WAITING, I’M HOPING FOR SOMETHING GOOD.
PLEASE LORD, STOP SENDING THE RAIN.

LIFE HAS BEEN FILLED WITH TRIALS AND SORROW
FOR ME, THIS YEAR WAS SO FULL OF SADNESS.
HOW I LONG FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING GOOD, LORD
HOW I PRAY YOU’LL FILL MY LIFE WITH GLADNESS.

I KNOW ULTIMATELY IN THE END YOU WILL STOP
THE PAIN, HEARTACHES, WORRIES, AND TEARS.
BUT HOW I KEEP PRAYING AND WISHING AND HOPING
THAT RIGHT NOW YOU’LL CALM MY PAIN AND MY FEARS.

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER DAY, FATHER,
WAITING FOR SOMETHING GOOD TO COME MY WAY…
HOW LONG, O LORD, HOW LONG WILL I WAIT?
WON’T YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING TODAY?

AND NOT ONLY FOR ME DO I CRY “MARANATHA!”..
I CRY THAT FOR PEOPLE ALL AROUND THAT I SEE…
THE HEARTACHE, THE DEATH, THE POVERTY, SADNESS…
I CRY TO YOU, LORD, ANSWER MY PLEA!!!

SO MANY THINGS IN LIFE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER,
SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN IN SPITE OF US…
PLEASE, LORD, COME AND DO SOMETHING GOOD,
FOR IT’S ONLY IN YOU I CAN TRUST.

YOU KNOW I’LL FOLLOW LORD, WHEREVER YOU LEAD,
BUT I DON’T THINK I CAN MUCH LONGER TAKE
THE GRIEF, THE SORROW, THE PAIN, THE HURT
PLEASE COME NOW, FOR YOUR NAME’S SAKE.

PLEASE COME LORD, DON’T TARRY-
HASTEN TO ME. YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I FOLLOW BEHIND.
PLEASE BRING NEW HOPE AND LIFE TO YOUR CHILDREN..
PLEASE COME IN TWO THOUSAND AND NINE.

I’M NOT SURE, LORD WHY YOU DO SOME THINGS
I’M NOT SURE WHAT MAKES YOU DECIDE…
WHO GOES AND WHO STAYS, WHO HAS TO HAVE PAIN…
SOME DAYS I STILL JUST WANT TO HIDE.

STILL I KNOW YOU HOLD THE POWER OF LIFE
IN THE VERY PALM OF YOUR HAND…
I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME, I KNOW THAT YOU’RE HERE,
BUT SOMETIMES I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

I’M READY FOR RAINBOWS, ALL FULL OF HOPE.
I’M READY FOR SOME GOOD AROUND ME.
AND NOT ONLY FOR ME, FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS…
PLEASE, LORD JESUS, BRING US HARMONY.

JESSICA SCHAFER October 2, 2008

2 FOR 1.

"TODAY I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT YOU!"

I JUST CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYMORE!
YOU’RE TAKING OVER MY LIFE-
PLEASE STOP COMING AROUND HERE,
ALL YOU CREATE IS STRIFE!!!

YOU UPSET ME ON A DAILY BASIS,
TAKING UP SO MUCH OF MY TIME,
AND I CAN’T SEEM TO HANDLE YOU,
YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME RUN BEHIND!

PLEASE STOP TAKING OVER ME,
I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE I LOOK!!
I CAN NEVER REST, NEVER NAP,
OR HEAVEN FORBID I READ A BOOK!

I CAN’T SEEM TO GET A HANDLE ON YOU-
YOU’RE ALWAYS FILTHY, NEVER CLEAN…
AND YOU’RE NEVER NICE TO ME,
YOU ALWAYS SEEM SO MEAN.

SO AS I CONTINUE TO WASH YOU ALL,
AND DRY YOU, FOLD YOU, HANG YOU, TOO
PLEASE REMEMBER I DESPISE YOU!!
TODAY I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT YOU!!!

JESSICA SCHAFER 09-30-08





"DON'T BLINK"

THE JOY THAT OVERWHELMS YOU IS
AT MOMENTS HARD TO DESCRIBE.
YOU’D BE RICH IF YOU HAD A PENNY FOR
EACH TIME THAT YOU CRIED.

EACH AND EVERY DAY YOU SEE
IS FILLED WITH SUCH SUNLIGHT.
AND EVERY MOMENT FILLED WITH LOVE
AS YOU TUCK HIM IN AT NIGHT.

THOSE BIG BROWN EYES WILL MELT YOU
THAT LIL’ SMILE WILL TOUCH YOUR HEART
YOU’LL WONDER HOW TIME HAS MOVED SO
QUICKLY TO NOW FROM THE START.

THOSE LITTLE LAUGHS WILL TAKE YOU
TO PLACES YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO.
AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,
YOU’LL HOPE HE STAYS WITH YOU.

BUT JUST AS THE SEASONS BRING CHANGE,
SO THAT LIL’ ONE WILL CHANGE EACH DAY…
CHERISH THE TOYS, THE SCRAPED KNEES, THE CRIES,
YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

HOLD ONTO EACH MOMENT WITH LOVE,
LIVE IN THE DAYS GOD GIVES YOU.
ENJOY TIME WITH THIS LITTLE ONE AND TRUST ME-
DON’T BLINK, BECAUSE LIFE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

THE DISHES CAN WAIT, SO CAN MOPPING,
IF THE LAUNDRY PILES UP-IT’S OKAY!
JUST GIVE THAT LIL’ ONE KISSES AND HUGS,
AND HOLD ONTO HIM WHILE YOU HAVE TODAY!!

JESSICA SCHAFER October 1, 2008

'TIS ANOTHER RANDOM POST.

*MY BABY TURNED FOUR. HE’S GROUNDED NOW. HE ASKED ME IN CHURCH SUNDAY MORNING, “MOMMA, AM I FOUR NOW?”……..”YES, BABY, YOU ARE!”……HE LOOKED DOWN AT HIS LEGS AND HIS FEET AND QUICKLY LOOKED UP AT ME AND SAID, “BUT MOMMA, I’M NOT BIGGER, I DON’T SEE THAT I’M ANY BIGGER.”……”MOMMY SEES IT, YOU ARE…” DANGIT. THIS GROWING UP THING CAN JUST RIP A MOMMA’S HEART RIGHT OUT.

*WHY DON’T THEY MAKE PRETTY BRAS FOR WOMEN WHO WEAR MORE THAN A *CERTAIN* CUP SIZE? THAT ERKS ME TO NO END!!! I MAY NOT BE IN A SMALL CUP, BUT I STILL WANT A CUTE OVER-THE-SHOULDER-BOULDER-HOLDER…..

*I’M SO TIRED OF THE LACK OF EXPECTATION THAT RULES THE BODY OF CHRIST…THERE’S THE MINDSET OF “WELL, YOU’RE GONNA MESS UP, DO IT ANYWAY, GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU….”…..AND IT TOTALLY CHEAPENS THE GRACE THAT HE OFFERS US….IT SEEMS TO ME THAT SO OFTEN HIS OWN CHILDREN ARE MOCKING WHAT HE DID FOR EVERYONE THAT DAY ON THE CROSS.

*CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ARE EVERYWHERE…AND IT’S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET. LAST YEAR I WAS VERY EAGER FOR DECORATING…..THIS YEAR IS A WHOLE NEW SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

*EVER FELT LIKE LIFE WAS JUST BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU? FOR MORE THAN A DAY, A WEEK, A MONTH….FOR QUITE SOME TIME? WELCOME TO THE CLUB. YOU’RE IN GOOD COMPANY. DON’T TAKE TO HEART WHAT SOME PEOPLE MAY SAY TO YOU….PUTTING A HAPPY FACE ON DESPERATE CIRCUMSTANCES DOESN’T FIX LIFE…….JESUS HIMSELF DIDN’T TAKE THAT APPROACH WITH PEOPLE!! DON’T LET WHAT OTHERS SAY DISCOURAGE YOU. READ THE SCRIPTURES…..CRYING OUT TO GOD IN DISTRESS,QUESTIONING WHERE HE IS, FEELING ABANDONED, LONELY, HOPELESS….IT’S ALL THROUGHOUT THE VERY BOOK HE GAVE US. KEEP HOPE IN HIM………..HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL LISTEN WITHOUT MOCKING WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH. MARANATHA.

*AGAIN, TO A LIGHTER SUBJECT…….MY SWEET, HANDSOME HUSBAND BOUGHT ME THE MOST ADORABLE LIL’ JEAN JACKET. I CAN’T WAIT FOR IT TO GET COLD SO I CAN WEAR IT. IT’S A LONG JEAN COAT, COMES ABOUT TO MY KNEES, AND HAS TWO BIG BUTTONS RIGHT AT THE FRONT AT THE WAISTLINE. ADORABLE. HE LIKES TO BUY ME THINGS…..I LIKE TO RECEIVE THOSE THINGS. ;)

*I’VE BEEN READING THE MOST AMAZING BOOK, IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A GOOD READ, IT’S CALLED “THE YEAR OF LIVING BIBLICALLY; ONE MAN’S HUMBLE QUEST TO FOLLOW THE BIBLE AS LITERALLY AS POSSIBLE” BY A.J. JACOBS. IT’S A FASCINATING READ.

*SOMEONE WHO WRITES ON THIS BLOG HAS A BIRTHDAY SOON…….IF YOU CAN GUESS HOW OLD I WILL BE, YOU WILL GET A PRIZE. BUT I’M NOT SURE WHAT THAT PRIZE IS……….OR IF YOU’LL GET IT…….MAYBE THIS IS JUST A SHAMELESS PLOY TO GET SOME COMMENT LOVE. : ) YOU KNOW YOU, TOO, LOVE A COMMENT!

DECEMBER.

THERE’S SO MUCH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND,
MY CHILD, BUT PLEASE REMEMBER.
I WAS THERE WITH YOU AND HER EACH MOMENT
THAT YOU ALL WENT THROUGH IN DECEMBER.

I WAS THERE IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY TOO,
AS YOU REMEMBERED HER BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
IN MARCH AND APRIL, I WAS THERE STILL AS
THE PAIN FELT LIKE A KNIFE.

IN MAY AND JUNE AS THE MONTHS TURNED
HOTTER, MY COMFORT HAS STILL BEEN THERE.
AND I KNOW, MY CHILD, AT MOMENTS YOU’VE
FELT YOU CAN’T FIND ME ANYWHERE.

AS THE YEAR HAS PASSED, AND YOU’VE
CRIED AND MOURNED, I’VE NOT LEFT YOU ALONE.
I’VE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL, MY DAUGHTER
YOU CAN BE SURE I’VE NEVER GONE.

FROM JULY TO AUGUST WHEN THE WARM DAYS
DREW CLOSER TO A LONGER, COLDER NIGHT…
I HOPE YOU HAVE REMEMBERED MY LOVE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SHINING LIGHT.

WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS LEADING TO OCTOBER
THE FALLING LEAVES WILL COVER THE EARTH.
I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO GIVE THANKS TO ME,
THROUGH ALL THE HEARTACHE, ALL THE HURT.

GIVE THANKS THROUGH YOUR SORROW, YOUR
QUESTIONS AND DOUBT…DON’T WORRY I CAN HANDLE IT ALL.
AND REMEMBER I’M STILL THERE, I’LL NEVER LEAVE
EVEN ALL THROUGH THE CHANGES OF FALL.

WHEN NOVEMBER PASSES, BRINGING DECEMBER AGAIN,
REMINDING YOU OF HER SWEET HEART,
THROUGH YOUR PAIN AND YOUR TEARS, FRUSTRATION
AND FEARS, REMEMBER I’VE BEEN HERE SINCE THE START.

THOUGH I CAN’T GIVE YOU REASONS OF WHY
I CHOOSE THE PLANS THAT HAPPEN AROUND YOU,
REMEMBER THOUGH LIFE’S HARD AT TIMES, I’LL NEVER
LEAVE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE WITH YOU, TOO.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER NOW,
AS YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE
IN THAT WORLD YOU’RE IN FULL OF WORRIES
AND FEARS….SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER NOW, SHE’S FREE.

THOUGH YOU MAY GET ANGRY AT MOMENTS, THAT’S
FINE…I CAN HANDLE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU FEEL…
JUST COME TO ME EVERYTIME YOU’RE HURTING,
DON’T PRETEND WITH ME, BE REAL.

AS LIFE CONTINUES ON DOWN THE ROAD,
YOU CAN COUNT ON THE CHANGES I’LL BRING.
JUST COME TO ME, REMEMBER I’M HERE,
ONE DAY SOON WITH ME YOU’LL SING.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 25, 2008

LOOKING FOR HOPE?

THINK THERE’S NOTHING WRONG IN THIS WORLD?
THINK EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE?
TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
OR TAKE A LOOK IN MINE.

EVEN IF THINGS SEEM JUST PEACHY FOR YOU
EVEN IF THINGS ARE ALRIGHT.
DON’T LET YOUR HEAD HIT THAT PILLOW OF YOURS
UNTIL YOU’VE PRAYED FOR OTHERS TONIGHT.

LIFE IS HARD TO HANDLE SOMETIMES,
FULL OF QUESTIONS, FEARS, AND DOUBT…
SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS PROBABLY HURTING…
BE A FRIEND TO THEM; HELP THEM OUT.

IF IT’S YOU THAT’S DEALING WITH PAIN SOMEHOW,
REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
THOUGH YOU STRUGGLE, YOU’RE WEAK AND WEARY
YOUR FATHER IS WITH YOU, HE’S NOT GONE.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HOPE? HE GIVES IT.
ARE YOU NEEDING A FRIEND? HE’S THERE.
ARE YOU NEEDY, ABANDONED AND BROKEN?
HE’LL BE WITH YOU, WHISPER A PRAYER.

THOUGH IT FEELS HE’S FORGOTTEN YOU, HE’S NOT.
THOUGH TRAGEDY MAY BE AROUND YOU.
FOR SOME REASON-WE HAVE NOT THE ANSWER…
EVEN IN YOUR PAIN, HIS LOVE IS TRUE.

HOLD ONTO HIM WHEN LIFE CHANGES,
NOTHING ELSE WILL TRULY SATISFY.
HE’LL BE THERE WHEN YOU LAUGH AND REJOICE,
AND ALSO WHEN YOU MOURN AND CRY.

NO OTHER CAN LOVE WITHOUT WAVERING,
NO OTHER PERSON OR THING WILL EVER DO.
CRY TO HIM, SHOUT TO HIM, HE’S THERE…
AND HE’LL ALWAYS SAY, “I LOVE YOU.”

JESSICA SCHAFER September 24, 2008

2 SETS OF 7'S

7 THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME.

1. TRAGEDY HAPPENS…AND WE HAVE TO KEEP MOVING, SOMEHOW, IN SPITE OF IT.

2. BEING A WIFE AND MOMMA IS AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL.

3. GOD WILL DO WHAT HE WANTS IN HIS TIME, REGARDLESS OF MY AGENDA.

4. TRUE FRIENDSHIPS CAN GET ONE THROUGH AN AWFUL LOT OF HEARTACHE THAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU.

5. GOD LOVES ME, IN SPITE OF HOW HARD I TRY TO EARN HIS LOVE.

6. THOUGH I MAY NOT SEE IT, MY HUSBAND THINKS I’M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER.

7. IGNORING REALITY DOES NOT CHANGE IT.



7 CONFESSIONS.

1. I WORRY TOO MUCH.

2. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO WORRY, BUT I STILL DO.

3. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY DON’T LIKE CHANGE.

4. I DON’T MIND CLEANING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, BUT I CANNOT STAND FOLDING AND PUTTING LAUNDRY AWAY. I LOVE TO WASH IT, DRY IT, AND EVEN HANG STUFF UP……BUT I CANNOT STAND FOLDING AND PUTTING AWAY…..SO IT OFTEN PILES UP ON OUR GUEST BED. AND I DON’T CARE!!! IT’S STILL CLEAN!!

5. I TEND TO THINK I CAN SHOULDER THE WORLD’S BURDENS….AND THAT’S NOT MY PLACE…NOR WILL IT EVER BE.

6. IT ANNOYS ME TO NO END WHEN PEOPLE USE “I’M JUST SAYING WHAT’S TRUE” AS AN EXCUSE TO BE RUDE, JUDGMENTAL, AND INCONSIDERATE.

7. I AM WAY TOO OFTEN GUILT DRIVEN….AND I AM TRYING SO HARD TO GET OUT OF THAT MINDSET.