THE ARRANGER: A CONVERSATION BETWEEN DADDY AND DYLAN:

“DADDY, IS NOT EVERY DADDY A PASTOR?”..

“NO, DADDY’S WORK AT DIFFERENT PLACES. SOME WORK AT STORES, THEY ALL DO DIFFERENT THINGS.”

“OH.”

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE GRANDPA USED TO WORK?”

“NO, WHERE?”

“HE USED TO FLY BIG AIRPLANES!”

“WOW!”

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE MOMMY WORKS?”

“YEAH, MOMMY WORKS AT HOME. SHE ARRANGES THINGS!”



WELL, APPARENTLY I AM GOOD FOR SOMETHING.

MY HEART IS CLINGING TO THESE VERSES RIGHT NOW.

“WAIT FOR THE LORD, BE STRONG AND LET YOUR HEART TAKE COURAGE; YES, WAIT FOR THE LORD.”
*PSALM 27:14

“HEAR THE VOICE OF MY SUPPLICATIONS WHEN I CRY TO YOU FOR HELP, WHEN I LIFT UP MY HANDS TOWARD YOUR HOLY SANCTUARY.”
*PSALM 28:2

“THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.”
*PSALM 34:18

“WHEN I AM AFRAID, I WILL PUT MY TRUST IN YOU. IN GOD, WHOSE WORD I PRAISE, IN GOD I HAVE PUT MY TRUST; I SHALL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT CAN MERE MAN DO TO ME?”
*PSALM 56:3-4

“MY SOUL, WAIT IN SILENCE FOR GOD ONLY, FOR MY HOPE IS FROM HIM. HE ONLY IS MY ROCK AND MY SALVATION, MY STRONGHOLD; I SHALL NOT BE SHAKEN. ON GOD MY SALVATION AND MY GLORY REST; THE ROCK OF MY STRENGTH, MY REFUGE IS IN GOD. TRUST IN HIM AT ALL TIMES, O PEOPLE; POUR OUT YOUR HEART BEFORE HIM; GOD IS A REFUGE FOR US. SELAH.”
*PSALM 62:5-8

“BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED.”
*MATTHEW 5:4

ONE THING IS FOR SURE ABOUT GRIEF: IT WILL KEEP COMING BACK IN MOMENTS THROUGHOUT LIFE. THERE WILL NEVER BE A TIME WHEN IT IS TOTALLY FORGOTTEN, OR A TIME WHEN ONE DOESN’T FEEL THE HURT ALL OVER AGAIN…NOT ALL THE TIME, BUT IT WILL COME AND GO. AND THE HARD THING IS, ONE NEVER KNOWS WHAT WILL “TRIGGER” THOSE FEELINGS, THOSE LONGINGS FOR THE ONES YOU LOVE AND MISS SO DEARLY. SOCIETY TELLS US, HECK, I’VE EVEN HAD FRIENDS TELL ME THAT I’M DOING IT WRONG….THAT IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON…..THAT HOW I’M FEELING IS UNHEALTHY. REALLY? HOW DOES ONE KNOW WHAT’S “HEALTHY” WHEN DEALING WITH GRIEF? ESPECIALLY WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT, THAT THEY JUST DON’T DEAL WITH IT AT ALL…..IS THAT THE “HEALTHIER” WAY TO GO ABOUT IT?
I HAVE HAD SO MANY MOMENTS LATELY OF DEEP GRIEF, REALLY MISSING MY MOMMA. I THINK IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN FOLIAGE ON THE TREES….A SUBTLE REMINDER THAT FALL IS ARRIVING, AND AFTER THAT, WINTER. I DON’T LOOK FORWARD TO THE HOLIDAYS WITHOUT HER.
GRIEF WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE CARRIED ALONE. IT HURTS. IT’S REAL. NOT FACING IT DOES NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY. I REMEMBER SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, I SAT DOWN AT THE COMPUTER, MY EYES FILLED WITH TEARS, AND I WROTE A LETTER. I WROTE A LONG LETTER TELLING THIS YOUNG LADY THAT IT WAS OKAY TO HURT. IT WAS OKAY TO MISS HER LOVED ONE. IT WAS OKAY TO CRY. I EXPLAINED THAT IT WASN’T WRONG OF HER TO FEEL GRIEF. I WANTED HER TO KNOW SHE WASN'T ALONE. EVEN THOUGH THOSE SHE LONGED TO BE THERE ALONGSIDE HER WEREN’T THERE, GOD WAS. I WROTE THAT LETTER TO MYSELF.
I WILL NEVER FORGET ALL THE RUBBISH I HAVE HEARD, AND I’M SURE I’LL CONTINUE TO HEAR, WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT OCCURRED OVER LAST WINTER. PEOPLE TEND TO SAY ANYTHING WHEN DEALING WITH GRIEF, AND OFTENTIMES, IT’S NOT AT ALL THE RIGHT THING TO SAY. ON THE OTHER HAND, I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HILARIE TOLD ME. IT WAS ALMOST AS SOON AS I ARRIVED IN EDMOND, AND SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SAID WITH SUCH A SAD HEART, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY…”. AND THEN SHE HUGGED ME. THAT’S ALL I NEEDED. I DIDN’T NEED A REASON, A QUICK FIX, OR A BAND-AID ANSWER. BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE. I JUST NEEDED HER, TO BE THERE, TO LOVE ME, TO GRIEVE WITH ME. AND SHE WAS. AND THAT MOMENT WILL STICK WITH ME FOREVER.
I HAVE NEVER FELT AS CLOSE TO GOD AS I HAVE FELT SINCE DECEMBER. NOT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN READING MY BIBLE FAITHFULLY, OR “DOING” ALL THE THINGS WE’RE TOLD WE’RE SUPPOSED TO DO TO BE A “GOOD” CHRISTIAN (WHAT AN OXY-MORON). BUT WE ARE TOLD THAT THOSE WHO ARE MOURNING ARE BLESSED. I BELIEVE HIS WORDS. HE KNOWS MY HEART, HE KNOWS MY FEARS, HE KNOWS MY SORROWS, HE KNOWS MY GRIEF. AND HE IS HERE WITH ME.
HE IS MY HOPE. I CLING TO HIM.

“AND GOD IS WITH ME, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE…
AND GOD IS WITH ME, I WILL NEVER BE ALONE,
OUR GOD IS SO FAITHFUL.
I WILL NEVER BE ALONE,
YOUR LOVE IS SO FAITHFUL….”

“GOD IS WITH ME”
FROM: CHURCH OF THE HARVEST