DECEMBER.

THERE’S SO MUCH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND,
MY CHILD, BUT PLEASE REMEMBER.
I WAS THERE WITH YOU AND HER EACH MOMENT
THAT YOU ALL WENT THROUGH IN DECEMBER.

I WAS THERE IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY TOO,
AS YOU REMEMBERED HER BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
IN MARCH AND APRIL, I WAS THERE STILL AS
THE PAIN FELT LIKE A KNIFE.

IN MAY AND JUNE AS THE MONTHS TURNED
HOTTER, MY COMFORT HAS STILL BEEN THERE.
AND I KNOW, MY CHILD, AT MOMENTS YOU’VE
FELT YOU CAN’T FIND ME ANYWHERE.

AS THE YEAR HAS PASSED, AND YOU’VE
CRIED AND MOURNED, I’VE NOT LEFT YOU ALONE.
I’VE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL, MY DAUGHTER
YOU CAN BE SURE I’VE NEVER GONE.

FROM JULY TO AUGUST WHEN THE WARM DAYS
DREW CLOSER TO A LONGER, COLDER NIGHT…
I HOPE YOU HAVE REMEMBERED MY LOVE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SHINING LIGHT.

WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS LEADING TO OCTOBER
THE FALLING LEAVES WILL COVER THE EARTH.
I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO GIVE THANKS TO ME,
THROUGH ALL THE HEARTACHE, ALL THE HURT.

GIVE THANKS THROUGH YOUR SORROW, YOUR
QUESTIONS AND DOUBT…DON’T WORRY I CAN HANDLE IT ALL.
AND REMEMBER I’M STILL THERE, I’LL NEVER LEAVE
EVEN ALL THROUGH THE CHANGES OF FALL.

WHEN NOVEMBER PASSES, BRINGING DECEMBER AGAIN,
REMINDING YOU OF HER SWEET HEART,
THROUGH YOUR PAIN AND YOUR TEARS, FRUSTRATION
AND FEARS, REMEMBER I’VE BEEN HERE SINCE THE START.

THOUGH I CAN’T GIVE YOU REASONS OF WHY
I CHOOSE THE PLANS THAT HAPPEN AROUND YOU,
REMEMBER THOUGH LIFE’S HARD AT TIMES, I’LL NEVER
LEAVE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE WITH YOU, TOO.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER NOW,
AS YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE
IN THAT WORLD YOU’RE IN FULL OF WORRIES
AND FEARS….SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER NOW, SHE’S FREE.

THOUGH YOU MAY GET ANGRY AT MOMENTS, THAT’S
FINE…I CAN HANDLE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU FEEL…
JUST COME TO ME EVERYTIME YOU’RE HURTING,
DON’T PRETEND WITH ME, BE REAL.

AS LIFE CONTINUES ON DOWN THE ROAD,
YOU CAN COUNT ON THE CHANGES I’LL BRING.
JUST COME TO ME, REMEMBER I’M HERE,
ONE DAY SOON WITH ME YOU’LL SING.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 25, 2008

LOOKING FOR HOPE?

THINK THERE’S NOTHING WRONG IN THIS WORLD?
THINK EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE?
TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
OR TAKE A LOOK IN MINE.

EVEN IF THINGS SEEM JUST PEACHY FOR YOU
EVEN IF THINGS ARE ALRIGHT.
DON’T LET YOUR HEAD HIT THAT PILLOW OF YOURS
UNTIL YOU’VE PRAYED FOR OTHERS TONIGHT.

LIFE IS HARD TO HANDLE SOMETIMES,
FULL OF QUESTIONS, FEARS, AND DOUBT…
SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS PROBABLY HURTING…
BE A FRIEND TO THEM; HELP THEM OUT.

IF IT’S YOU THAT’S DEALING WITH PAIN SOMEHOW,
REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
THOUGH YOU STRUGGLE, YOU’RE WEAK AND WEARY
YOUR FATHER IS WITH YOU, HE’S NOT GONE.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HOPE? HE GIVES IT.
ARE YOU NEEDING A FRIEND? HE’S THERE.
ARE YOU NEEDY, ABANDONED AND BROKEN?
HE’LL BE WITH YOU, WHISPER A PRAYER.

THOUGH IT FEELS HE’S FORGOTTEN YOU, HE’S NOT.
THOUGH TRAGEDY MAY BE AROUND YOU.
FOR SOME REASON-WE HAVE NOT THE ANSWER…
EVEN IN YOUR PAIN, HIS LOVE IS TRUE.

HOLD ONTO HIM WHEN LIFE CHANGES,
NOTHING ELSE WILL TRULY SATISFY.
HE’LL BE THERE WHEN YOU LAUGH AND REJOICE,
AND ALSO WHEN YOU MOURN AND CRY.

NO OTHER CAN LOVE WITHOUT WAVERING,
NO OTHER PERSON OR THING WILL EVER DO.
CRY TO HIM, SHOUT TO HIM, HE’S THERE…
AND HE’LL ALWAYS SAY, “I LOVE YOU.”

JESSICA SCHAFER September 24, 2008

2 SETS OF 7'S

7 THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME.

1. TRAGEDY HAPPENS…AND WE HAVE TO KEEP MOVING, SOMEHOW, IN SPITE OF IT.

2. BEING A WIFE AND MOMMA IS AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL.

3. GOD WILL DO WHAT HE WANTS IN HIS TIME, REGARDLESS OF MY AGENDA.

4. TRUE FRIENDSHIPS CAN GET ONE THROUGH AN AWFUL LOT OF HEARTACHE THAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU.

5. GOD LOVES ME, IN SPITE OF HOW HARD I TRY TO EARN HIS LOVE.

6. THOUGH I MAY NOT SEE IT, MY HUSBAND THINKS I’M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER.

7. IGNORING REALITY DOES NOT CHANGE IT.



7 CONFESSIONS.

1. I WORRY TOO MUCH.

2. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO WORRY, BUT I STILL DO.

3. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY DON’T LIKE CHANGE.

4. I DON’T MIND CLEANING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, BUT I CANNOT STAND FOLDING AND PUTTING LAUNDRY AWAY. I LOVE TO WASH IT, DRY IT, AND EVEN HANG STUFF UP……BUT I CANNOT STAND FOLDING AND PUTTING AWAY…..SO IT OFTEN PILES UP ON OUR GUEST BED. AND I DON’T CARE!!! IT’S STILL CLEAN!!

5. I TEND TO THINK I CAN SHOULDER THE WORLD’S BURDENS….AND THAT’S NOT MY PLACE…NOR WILL IT EVER BE.

6. IT ANNOYS ME TO NO END WHEN PEOPLE USE “I’M JUST SAYING WHAT’S TRUE” AS AN EXCUSE TO BE RUDE, JUDGMENTAL, AND INCONSIDERATE.

7. I AM WAY TOO OFTEN GUILT DRIVEN….AND I AM TRYING SO HARD TO GET OUT OF THAT MINDSET.

AN EMPTY, SPINNING CUP.

ON DAYS LIKE THIS I WONDER, LORD
HOW LONG WILL I BE HERE?
HOW LONG WILL I FEEL ABANDONED
AND OVERTAKEN WITH FEAR?

FEAR THAT LIFE WON’T CHANGE FOR
THE BETTER, BUT WILL ONLY STAY THE SAME.
FEAR THAT MY DREAMS WILL NOT HAPPEN,
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CALL ON YOUR NAME.

I WONDER, LORD WHERE ARE YOU?
WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO AIR?
ARE YOU STILL THERE, ARE YOU LISTENING?
I CAN’T FIND YOU ANYWHERE.

I’VE BEEN CRYING FOR SO LONG NOW,
MY MIND IS FILLED WITH DOUBT…
I WONDER IF YOU’LL DO SOMETHING, GOD…
WILL YOU COME AND HELP US OUT?

AN EMPTY, SPINNING, CUP AM I,
I’VE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE ANYMORE…
I KEEP LOOKING, I KEEP WAITING FOR YOU
TO COME WALKING THROUGH MY DOOR.

I NEED YOU, LORD, EVERYDAY…
I NEED YOUR MERCY AND GRACE.
EVEN MORE WHILE I’M IN THIS DESERT…
AND IT SEEMS I’M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR FACE.

THOUGH LIFE CONTINUES TO BRING
SO MANY TRIALS, SORROWS, AND TEARS.
I’LL KEEP WAITING, I’LL KEEP HOPING,
AND I’LL KEEP HANDING YOU MY FEARS.

EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS SO HOPELESS,
THOUGH I FEEL SO ALL ALONE…
I’LL KEEP HOLDING ON TO THE WORDS YOU SAID…
THAT THIS PLACE IS NOT MY HOME.

I WILL FOLLOW, I WILL SERVE YOU
I’LL STILL HOPE THOUGH YOU SLAY ME…
I’LL HOLD STEADFAST TO YOUR WORDS, LORD…
THOUGH ALL WILL CHANGE AROUND ME.

YOUR WORD TELLS ME YOU ARE HERE,
I WILL REMEMBER THAT EVERDAY…
THOUGH EVERYTHING AROUND ME TRIES
TO MAKE ME DOUBT YOUR WAY.

I PUT MY TRUST IN NO MAN,
MONEY IS NOT WHERE MY HOPE LIES.
I’LL KEEP RUNNING AFTER YOU, JESUS…
AND ON YOU I’LL KEEP MY EYES.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 22, 2008