*I'VE POSTED THIS BEFORE. AS I'VE SAT HERE ALREADY CRYING THIS MORNING REMEMBERING ALL THE HEARTACHE THIS DATE BROUGHT LAST YEAR, I WANTED TO SHARE THIS POEM AGAIN. IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH GRIEF, I HOPE IT ENCOURAGES YOU. REMEMBER, THIS ISN'T THE FINAL WORD, CHRIST IS. HE WAS AND IS. AND NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY MAY SAY TO YOU, HE UNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN, YOUR GRIEF, YOUR HEARTACHE, YOUR LONELINESS, YOUR FRUSTRATIONS, YOUR FEARS. HE IS WITH YOU. THOUGH AT TIMES WE FEEL HE IS NOT, HE IS.



"DECEMBER"

THERE’S SO MUCH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND,
MY CHILD, BUT PLEASE REMEMBER.
I WAS THERE WITH YOU AND HER EACH MOMENT
THAT YOU ALL WENT THROUGH IN DECEMBER.

I WAS THERE IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY TOO,
AS YOU REMEMBERED HER BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
IN MARCH AND APRIL, I WAS THERE STILL AS
THE PAIN FELT LIKE A KNIFE.

IN MAY AND JUNE AS THE MONTHS TURNED
HOTTER, MY COMFORT HAS STILL BEEN THERE.
AND I KNOW, MY CHILD, AT MOMENTS YOU’VE
FELT YOU CAN’T FIND ME ANYWHERE.

AS THE YEAR HAS PASSED, AND YOU’VE
CRIED AND MOURNED, I’VE NOT LEFT YOU ALONE.
I’VE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL, MY DAUGHTER
YOU CAN BE SURE I’VE NEVER GONE.

FROM JULY TO AUGUST WHEN THE WARM DAYS
DREW CLOSER TO A LONGER, COLDER NIGHT…
I HOPE YOU HAVE REMEMBERED MY LOVE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SHINING LIGHT.

WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS LEADING TO OCTOBER
THE FALLING LEAVES WILL COVER THE EARTH.
I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO GIVE THANKS TO ME,
THROUGH ALL THE HEARTACHE, ALL THE HURT.

GIVE THANKS THROUGH YOUR SORROW, YOUR
QUESTIONS AND DOUBT…DON’T WORRY I CAN HANDLE IT ALL.
AND REMEMBER I’M STILL THERE, I’LL NEVER LEAVE
EVEN ALL THROUGH THE CHANGES OF FALL.

WHEN NOVEMBER PASSES, BRINGING DECEMBER AGAIN,
REMINDING YOU OF HER SWEET HEART,
THROUGH YOUR PAIN AND YOUR TEARS, FRUSTRATION
AND FEARS, REMEMBER I’VE BEEN HERE SINCE THE START.

THOUGH I CAN’T GIVE YOU REASONS OF WHY
I CHOOSE THE PLANS THAT HAPPEN AROUND YOU,
REMEMBER THOUGH LIFE’S HARD AT TIMES, I’LL NEVER
LEAVE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE WITH YOU, TOO.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER NOW,
AS YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE
IN THAT WORLD YOU’RE IN FULL OF WORRIES
AND FEARS….SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER NOW, SHE’S FREE.

THOUGH YOU MAY GET ANGRY AT MOMENTS, THAT’S
FINE…I CAN HANDLE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU FEEL…
JUST COME TO ME EVERYTIME YOU’RE HURTING,
DON’T PRETEND WITH ME, BE REAL.

AS LIFE CONTINUES ON DOWN THE ROAD,
YOU CAN COUNT ON THE CHANGES I’LL BRING.
JUST COME TO ME, REMEMBER I’M HERE,
ONE DAY SOON WITH ME YOU’LL SING.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 25, 2008

I'VE BEEN TAGGED BY BRITTANY!! THANKS SO MUCH, GIRL!!! I AM TO LIST TEN THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR AND TAG 5 OTHER BLOGGERETTES. SO, HERE GOES!!

*10. I'M THANKFUL FOR MY FAVORITE DRINKS: WATER, COFFEE, AND MCD'S ICED HAZELNUT COFFEE.

*9. THE CHURCH. HAVING ONE ANOTHER TO LEAN ON THROUGHOUT LIFE MAKES IT MUCH EASIER TO HANDLE GRIEF AND MUCH FUNNER TO GO THROUGH THE JOYS OF LIFE.

*8. HAVING A HOME TO LIVE IN, VEHICLES TO DRIVE, FOOD TO EAT, AND CLOTHES ON MY BACK. I DON'T TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED, FOR I KNOW IN ONE SECOND THEY COULD ALL BE GONE.

*7. THE INTERNET!!! AND BLOGGERS!!! SERIOUSLY, I LIVE IN A VERY SMALL TOWN, OUT IN THE COUNTRY FROM THAT VERY SMALL TOWN.......THE INTERNET HELPS ME KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THOSE I LOVE AND MISS SO DEARLY, AND MEET LOVELY LADIES THAT BLOG!!! :)

*6. MUSIC. I LOVE MUSIC. ALL KINDS. OVER THE PAST YEAR OVER THE RHINE'S CHRISTMAS ALBUM "SNOW ANGELS" HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH MANY A TEARFUL DAY. SOMETIMES MUSIC CAN BE SUCH A COMFORT.

*5. HOMESCHOOLING. IT HAS BEEN SO AWESOME TO BE ABLE TO HOMESCHOOL OUR SON. HE LOVES IT, I LOVE IT, AND HIS DADDY LOVES IT. HE IS THRIVING SO MUCH, AND IT'S SO NEAT TO BE ABLE TO TAKE PART IN HIS EDUCATION IN SUCH A BIG WAY. HOMESCHOOLING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, AND THERE ARE SOME WHO CAN'T DO IT EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO. I'M GLAD GOD'S GIVEN US THE ABILITY TO DO THIS FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, AND HOPEFULLY MANY MORE.

*4. BOOKS. WE HAVE SO MANY BOOKS, AND I'VE BEEN TOLD BY MANY A HOMESCHOOLING MOMMA THAT BOOKS WILL KEEP PILING UP. IT'S SO NICE TO BE ABLE TO GET LOST IN A BOOK.......AND I'VE LOVED WATCHING DYLAN FALL IN LOVE WITH READING.

*3. MY FRIENDS. I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS, AND A LOT OF CLOSE ONES. I CHERISH THE FRIENDSHIPS GOD'S GIVEN ME WITH EACH OF THESE WONDERFUL LADIES. THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY'VE TOUCHED MY LIFE AND ENCOURAGED ME IN WAYS NOBODY ELSE EVER COULD HAVE.

*2. MY FAMILY: MY HUSBAND AND SON, MY MOMMA AND DADDY, MY SISTER, AND IN-LAWS. AND MY EXTENDED FAMILY. GOD HAS SHOWN ME SO MUCH ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR ME THROUGH MY FAMILY. I'M THANKFUL FOR ALL THE YEARS I HAD WITH MY MOMMA IN THIS LIFE, AND AM FILLED WITH JOY WHEN I THINK OF THE FACT THAT WE WILL BE REUNITED AGAIN ONE DAY, AND THERE WILL BE NO END TO THAT REUNION. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I KNOW NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT ABOUT THEIR MOMMAS, BUT I'M SO GLAD I HAD THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. MY DADDY IS WONDERFUL. HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST HEART OF ANYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN. MY SISTER....SHE USED TO TORTURE ME. :) HAHA. BUT I KNOW SHE LOVES ME. SHE IS SO DEAR TO ME, AND I'M GLAD TO HAVE SUCH A CLOSE BOND WITH HER. MY HUSBAND AND SON ARE AMAZING. I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I EVER DID TO DESERVE THEM. THEY BRING ME SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY, I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN IT. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, MY MOMMA GREW UP WITH ELEVEN SIBLINGS. AND MY DADDY GREW UP WITH ELEVEN SIBLINGS, TOO!! NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HAVE A LOT OF UNCLES AND AUNTS, AND I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY COUSINS I HAVE. I KNOW ON ONE SIDE IT'S ABOUT 50 OR 60....SO I HAVE TO HAVE AROUND 100 COUSINS. I SHOULD TALLEY THEM UP FOR YOU SOMETIME. I DON'T GET TO SEE ALL OF THEM THAT OFTEN, BUT I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR THEM, ALSO.

*1. GOD, THE GREAT COMFORTER. THAT'S THE SIDE OF HIM I'VE BEEN WELL ACQUAINTED WITH OVER THE PAST YEAR. EVEN THOUGH HE HIMSELF CAN STOP HEARTACHE, THERE ARE TIMES HE DOESN'T. KNOWING THE SORROWFUL SIDE OF HIM HAS OPENED UP A WHOLE NEW PART OF MY FAITH IN HIM. HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIVE LIFE, AND THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TAKE IT. I AM THANKFUL IN KNOWING HE HAS MY MOMMA. I AM THANKFUL IN KNOWING HE IS MY COMFORT, MY PEACE, MY ONLY HOPE. IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING OVER THE PAST YEAR, IT'S BEEN TO HOPE IN HIM AND NO OTHER. I'M THANKFUL FOR HIS WORDS TO US. THERE ARE MANY WHO WILL LIVE THEIR WHOLE LIVES AND NEVER BE ABLE TO OPEN UP THE HOLY BOOK THAT WAS LEFT TO US. I HOPE I NEVER TAKE FOR GRANTED BEING ABLE TO LOOK UPON HIS WORD DAILY.

*NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!! I TAG SISTER, KRYSTLE, ANDREA, SARAH, AND VICKI, JESSICA, BREA, AND LIZ. I KNOW I DID MORE THAN 5, I COULDN'T HELP IT!! HAVE FUN AND PASS IT ON, LADIES!

*IT’S SNOWING LIKE CRAZY OUTSIDE. SO PRETTY, YET DEPRESSING AT THE SAME TIME.

*I MADE A SEVENTY-SIX MILLION COURSE MEAL FOR THANKSGIVING, IT WAS DELICIOUS….IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

*MY DADDY WAS HERE, AND WILL BE HERE THROUGH THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, SO I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD ABOUT THAT.

*MY ANKLE IS STILL HURTING, HASN’T HEALED ALL THE WAY YET. (PROBABLY HAS A LOT TO DO WITH BEING ON MY FEET FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW COOKING…….’YA THINK?)

*I AM READY FOR 2009.

*ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE CAME UP TO SEE ME FRIDAY!!! I’M SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE HER. I NEEDED THAT! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, SHE OFFERED TO DESIGN OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR, AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL. LOOKING FORWARD TO SENDING THOSE. THANK YOU, HILARIE!!!

*MY COUSIN FROM TEXAS HAPPENED TO BE IN A CITY NEAR ME AND WAS ABLE TO COME HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH US. THAT WAS SUCH A NEAT THING.

*I STILL HAVE SOME SHOPPING TO DO FOR CHRISTMAS, PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!

*MY HUSBAND, WHO IS 6’8”, HAS BEEN DOING ALL THE DISHES AND KITCHEN CLEANING SINCE I HURT MY ANKLE. I APPRECIATE HIM SO MUCH. BUT HONESTLY, I APPRECIATE HIM A LITTLE MORE KNOWING HE’S BEEN DOING IT AND HURTING HIS BACK SO MUCH….HE’S LITERALLY BENT IN HALF THE WHOLE TIME HE’S CLEANING. THANK YOU, LOVE. YOU SPOIL ME. (AFTER RE-READING THIS, WE SOUND LIKE A COUPLE OF NINETY-YEAR OLDS….HAHAHA. OH WELL, I’M SURE HE’LL STILL DO STUFF LIKE THAT FOR ME WHEN WE ARE 90!)

*I MAY GET TO SEE MANDOLYN AND BEN THIS MONTH, AND I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT. WE HAVEN’T SEEN THEM IN OVER TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

*I MISS MY FRIENDS A WHOLE HECKUVALOT RIGHT NOW.

*I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO 2009. I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT. BUT IN LIGHT OF HOW THE LAST YEAR’S BEEN, IT’S THROWN HEARTACHE, GRIEF, WORRY, SOLIDARITY, AND A LOT MORE I HAVEN’T BLOGGED ABOUT MY WAY. SO FOR THANKSGIVING, I WAS THANKING GOD FOR WHAT HE WILL DO NEXT YEAR, AND THE YEAR AFTER, AND SO ON. LIFE AIN’T ALWAYS PEACHES AND ROSES. THIS PAST YEAR HAS INDEED BEEN A CACTUS FOR ME. I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE THAT I HAVE BEEN BEGGING GOD TO SEND OUR WAY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR ME, I ASK YOU TO DO SO AGAIN THIS WEEK. IT’S ABOUT TO BE A YEAR SINCE EVERYTHING STARTED FALLING APART. THANK YOU. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME. IF YOU HAVE YOUR MOMMA WITH YOU, HUG HER TIGHT THIS YEAR. HUG HER TIGHT EVERY CHANCE YOU GET.