I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

A Red Coat.

(This post was written on December 14th.)

Did I ever tell you about my red coat? I love it!!!!! It is so adorable. It is a long, wool coat that I wanted for many years. I finally saw the exact one I wanted, and got it two years ago at Christmas. It is beautiful. However, it's never been worn.

It was the last Christmas gift My Momma got for me. She had all of her Christmas shopping done early that year, (which NEVER happened,) and we knew it would be tough opening her gifts. My Daddy, sister, myself, our spouses, and all the grandchildren....we all knew we'd have to sit there together and open up the things she'd taken the time to get for us. Open them up, that is, without her there with us.

I'm not sure why I haven't worn it. I want to, I love it. But part of me doesn't want to chance "messing it up". I know my Momma would DEFINITELY want me to be wearing it!!!!! Hopefully I can sometime.....I just haven't worked up the nerve.

It is true that Christmas, birthdays, and most holidays are tough on families that are missing their loved ones. However, I have found that it's difficult year round. Some days are still much harder than others. Today at church a very sweet friend of mine took my hand in hers, and told me she would be thinking of me so much this week, because she knew the date was tomorrow. It took everything in me to make sure I didn't burst into tears. I NEEDED to hear that. I needed someone to tell me that. I'm not sure why.....but I did. C.S. Lewis said it best when he said something like "her absence is like a blanket.....it covers everything." If you have ever lost someone close to you, I'm sure that makes sense. Yes, certain places and certain times make you think a little more about them....but the great sadness will always loom, no matter the day. I still go to my phone to call her when amazing things happen. I still try to dial her up when things are just going horribly, because she always listened to me and said, "It will all be okay...". Today, especially, I'd give anything to hear her say that.

And still, though I know I can't hear her say it.....I CAN still hear her saying it...

"It will all be okay." One day, it will, indeed.

"For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus." -I Thessalonians 4:14-