I CAN’T IMAGINE NOT HAVING MY SISTER HERE WITH ME. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS EXTREMELY SAD, BUT IT’S ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS I THOUGHT OF WHEN MY MOMMA CALLED THIS MORNING TO TELL ME MY AUNT VICKY IS WITH JESUS NOW. THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOMMA’S CLOSEST SISTERS. AT THE RISK OF BEING COMPLETELY VULNERABLE ONLINE (WHICH I NORMALLY WOULD RATHER NOT DO…)

MY MOMMA WAS VERY CLOSE WITH HER. MY MOM WAS RAISED WITH ELEVEN OTHER SIBLINGS, AND IN MOST HUGE FAMILIES, USUALLY ALL OF THEM DON’T REMAIN EXTREMELY CLOSE. BUT FOR THE MOST PART, ALL OF MY MOMMA’S FAMILY WAS…ESPECIALLY MOST OF THE GIRLS. MY FAMILY HAS BEEN THROUGH THE RINGER WHEN IT COMES TO DEALING WITH CANCER. I HATE IT NOW. I CAN’T EVEN STAND TO HEAR THE WORD ANYMORE. I’M SO SICK OF SEEING SOMETHING LIKE THIS, SOMETHING TOTALLY UNEXPLAINABLE, TAKE IT’S TOLL ON MY LOVED ONES…AND I’M SO TIRED OF SEEING MY LOVED ONES HURT SO BADLY OVER IT. I’M SUCH A CONTROL FREAK, AND I ALWAYS WANT TO FIX THINGS FOR MY FAMILY AND LOVED ONES…AND I CAN’T FIX THIS. I CAN DO NOTHING. I HATE THAT FEELING. MY MOMMA’S LOST FIVE LOVED ONES IN THE PAST DUE TO THIS DISEASE…AND SHE’S DEALT WITH IT PERSONALLY, HERSELF. IT’S THESE TIMES, FACING DEATH IN THE FACE, FACING THE UNKNOWN, FACING A MONSTER THAT THERE’S NO REAL CURE FOR, WHEN A NICE LITTLE CHRISTIAN PHRASE WON’T FIX IT. TIME WILL NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF. ONE NEVER GETS OVER LOSING THEIR LOVED ONES. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP IS CHRIST, AND HIS CHILDREN COMING TOGETHER IN PRAYER AND MOURNING. ONLY THEN WILL HEALING COME. PLEASE, WHEN YOU’RE PRAYING, PRAY FOR MY MOMMA AND HER SIBLINGS. AND PRAY FOR US, TOO. I’M SO TIRED OF DEATH. I’VE STILL NOT FIGURED OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH IT, AND I DON’T THINK ANYONE KNOWS HOW. THANKS FOR READING. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

“…DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP IN VICTORY. ‘O, DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?’ THE STING OF DEATH IS SIN, AND THE POWER OF SIN IS THE LAW; BUT THANKS BE TO GOD, WHO GIVES US THE VICTORY THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.”
*I CORINTHIANS*

“REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE, AND WEEP WITH THOSE WHO WEEP.”
*ROMANS*

“BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED.”
*JESUS-SERMON ON THE MOUNT*