*YAY FOR 2009!!!!!!!!! I DON’T THINK THERE HAS EVER BEEN A TIME WHEN I’VE BEEN SO WELCOMING TO A NEW YEAR. THANK YOU, LORD FOR A WONDERFUL, OUTSTANDING, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY 2009…….IN ADVANCE. NO REALLY, THANK YOU. YOU NO MORE THAN ANYONE HOW MUCH I NEED THAT.

*DYLAN’S CHRISTMAS WAS WONDERFUL. LAST YEAR WAS SUCH A DARK TIME, AND QUITE HONESTLY, I DON’T REMEMBER MUCH OF IT. I COULDN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR. BUT THIS YEAR, DYLAN MADE OUT LIKE A BANDIT. HE WAS VERY EXCITED ABOUT CELEBRATING A SEASON HE NOW UNDERSTANDS; THE BIRTH OF JESUS. NOT TO MENTION HE GOT QUITE A FEW MOVIES HE WANTED, (VEGGIETALES; PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING, WALL-E, KUM-FWEEN PANDA) TWO LEAPSTER GAMES, THE BATMOBILE, AND THE GIFT THAT OVERSHADOWED THEM ALL; A WII FROM HIS PAWPAW. NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE GOT MUCH MORE THAN HE NEEDED.

*THIS SEASON WE MADE SO MUCH STUFF, A GINGERBREAD HOUSE, A GINGERBREAD TREE, CHRISTMAS COOKIES, CHOCOLATE CAKE, POPCORN BALLS, ETC. IT WAS A TON OF FUN. (IN THE PICTURE ABOVE, HE'S VERY PROUD OF THE TREE AND CAKE HE DECORATED)

*WE ARE GETTING TO SEE SOME DEAR, DEAR, DEAR FRIENDS THAT WE HAVEN’T SEEN IN OVER TWO YEARS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! IT WILL BE BITTERSWEET TO HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE. I HAVE SO MANY CLOSE FRIENDS, AND THEY ALL LIVE HOURS AWAY FROM ME. THAT’S GETTING KINDA OLD. I WANT TO BUY A BIG HOUSE AND MOVE THEM ALL IN WITH ME. WOULDN’T THAT BE AWESOME?!?!? I THINK SO.

*DARRYL GOT A SHOP-VAC, SO HE’S BEEN HAPPY. HE JUST HAD TO GO CLEAN OUT THE VAN THE OTHER DAY…..WHICH I DIDN’T MIND ONE BIT!!

*MY DADDY WAS HERE, AND WE WERE ABLE TO ALL GET TOGETHER AT MY SISTER’S CHRISTMAS DAY. IT WAS A GOOD TIME. AND HOPEFULLY DADDY WILL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS FOR SEVERAL DAYS.

*THE OTHER DAY DYLAN ASKED ME, “MOMMY, I DON’T WANT CHRISTMAS TO BE OVER, WHY WON’T IT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN?”……I THEN TOLD HIM, “WELL, ACTUALLY, IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR!! EVERY YEAR WE GET TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF JESUS, SO IT WILL BE HERE AGAIN BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!”…….HE WAS BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS WHEN HE HEARD THAT NEWS. POOR LIL’ THING, HE THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY A ONE-TIME HOLIDAY!!

*IF YOU HAVE NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS, I HOPE YOU’RE ABLE TO KEEP THEM. IF NOT, I HOPE YOU’RE ABLE TO NOT KEEP THEM! HAVE A FUN EVENING RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR, I KNOW I WILL BE WELCOMING IT WITH OPEN ARMS. HERE’S TO A WONDERFUL 2009, AND EVERY YEAR AFTER.

WELL, CHRISTMAS IS OVER. SURPRISINGLY, AS MUCH AS I DREADED THE HARD MEMORIES I’D HAVE (WHICH I DID, OF COURSE) IT WENT REALLY QUICKLY. I’M NOT SURE HOW TO EXPLAIN THE LAST YEAR. IT’S ALL BEEN CLUMPED ALL TOGETHER, LIKE ONE BIG DAZE. I REMEMBER MOSTLY HURTING ALL YEAR LONG. IT’S ALMOST LIKE THERE’S BEEN THIS BIG CLOUD OVER MY HEAD, AND I’VE BEEN SHOUTING WITH ALL MY MIGHT FOR IT TO LEAVE, BUT IT REFUSES. THAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PUT IT INTO WORDS, AT LEAST. I DO WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR ABOUT GRIEF, THOUGH. I KNOW THERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT BELIEVERS ASCRIBE TO THAT ARE JUST PLAIN FALSE…. 1) THAT ONE SHOULD NEVER “FALL APART’ WHILE GRIEVING, THAT THEY SHOULD “BE STRONG” FOR EVERYONE ELSE…….DON’T EVER TRY TO DO THIS!!! IT’S NEVER THE ANSWER TO GRIEF. GRIEF IS A PART OF LIFE, BECAUSE DEATH IS A PART OF (THIS) LIFE. AND IT’S HARD, IT’S ROUGH, IT’S INDESCRIBABLY WRENCHING AT TIMES. DON’T FOOL YOURSELF FOR A MINUTE THINKING THAT “BEING STRONG” IS THE ANSWER…..STRENGTH DOESN’T COME FROM WITHIN, CHRIST IS OUR STRENGTH. LET HIM BE THAT FOR YOU. BECAUSE OUR STRENGTH RUNS OUT, HIS IS ALWAYS FULL.
2) THERE’S THIS UNSPOKEN RULE THAT AFTER A YEAR PASSES SINCE THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE, THINGS JUST START LOOKIN’ UP, THAT ONE’S GRIEF SHOULD BE OVER BY THEN. THIS IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. DID JESUS EVER SAY, “WELL, AFTER 12 MONTHS, MY CHILD, THOU SHALT HAVE NOTHING BUT HAPPY DAYS AND THINE GRIEF SHALT CEASE FOREVERMORE…”??…….NO!!!!!!!!! HE KNOWS FULL WELL THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WILL BE DEALT WITH UNTIL THE END. THERE WILL NEVER BE A DAY WHEN ONE WILL BE SATISFIED IN LIFE WITHOUT THEIR LOVED ONES HERE TO LIVE AND LOVE WITH. THERE WILL BE HARD TIMES STILL, I’M SURE WHEN I’M 80 YEARS OLD (IF I LIVE THAT LONG) I WILL STILL CRY AT TIMES WHEN I THINK OF MY SWEET MOMMA AND HOW SHORT HER LIFE WAS HERE, AND HOW MUCH I MISS HER. AND AT THE SAME TIME, I’M SURE THERE WILL BE HAPPY TIMES TO COME.

I AM FULLY AWARE THAT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN IT’S HARD TO READ WHAT I WRITE ON THIS BLOG. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE MAY NOT EVEN WANT TO READ IT ALL, FOR IT’S QUITE SAD AT TIMES. BUT THE THING IS, THIS IS WHERE GOD HAS PUT ME NOW. ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE “HAPPY” ONE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS NICKNAMED “SMILEY” AND EVEN GOT A CERTIFICATE FROM MY SCHOOL WITH THAT NAME ON IT! I’M STILL HAPPY, I’M STILL HOPEFUL. BUT THIS PAST YEAR HAS TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT GOD. LIFE ISN’T ALWAYS HAPPY. AND REGARDLESS OF THE HUM-DRUM YOU MAY HEAR/READ/SEE FROM VARIOUS PEOPLE WHO PROCLAIM THAT HAPPINESS BRINGS PROSPERITY…….OR THAT IF YOU WILL JUST “BE POSITIVE”, LIFE WILL BE GREAT!!....THAT IS FALSE. THERE WILL BE SORROW. I HAVE HEARD VARIOUS PREACHERS AND CHRISTIANS SAY THAT THE MAIN SIGNS OF GOD’S BLESSINGS ON YOU ARE HAPPINESS AND WEALTH. MY QUESTION TO THEM HAS ALWAYS BEEN; HAVE YOU READ THE BIBLE I’M READING? YOU KNOW, THE HOLY ONE? I DOUBT JESUS WAS SMILING AND SAYING, “HEY, JUST SMILE AND BE POSITIVE, DON’T BE SAD!” WHEN HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO BE CRUCIFIED. IN FACT, FROM THE WORDS HE SAID BEFORE THAT, WE CAN BE QUITE SURE HE WASN’T THINKING ALONG THOSE LINES AT ALL. BUT, HE DID KNOW THE FATHER, AND HE DID CONTINUE TO FOLLOW HIM, AS PAINFUL AS IT WAS. THAT IS WHAT I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH LATELY. WILL I STILL FOLLOW? WHAT IF GOD LETS A HORRIBLE TRAGEDY HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY…..THEN WILL I FOLLOW? WHAT IF HE TAKES CERTAIN FRIENDSHIPS AWAY…..WILL I STILL? WHAT IF MY BANK ACCOUNT ISN’T FLOWING WITH EXTRA MONEY, 401K, CDS, THOUSANDS IN SAVINGS, ETC…….WILL I STILL FOLLOW A GOD THAT DOESN’T “BLESS” ME ACCORDING TO WHAT EVERYONE AROUND ME SAYS IS A BLESSING? WHAT IF MY DREAMS, MY GOALS, ARE NEVER MET….THOUGH NOBLE AS THEY MAY BE…..WILL I STILL FOLLOW A GOD WHO DOESN’T ANSWER ME WITH BLESSINGS SO SWEET?? MY ANSWER IS SIMPLE; I WILL. BECAUSE HE IS GOD, I AM NOT. AND YES, I WILL BE HONEST WITH HIM….IF I AM ANGRY, HE KNOWS…IF I AM DESPERATE, HE KNOWS….IF I FEEL BETRAYED AND LEFT ALONE BY HIM…HE KNOWS. BUT I STILL LOVE HIM. I STILL SERVE HIM. BECAUSE I CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT HIM.

AS MUCH AS I HOPE THAT 2009, 2010, 2011, ETC. ARE YEARS FULL OF BLESSING, PEACE, HAPPINESS, JOY…….I WILL STILL FOLLOW HIM EVEN IF HE CHOOSES TO TAKE ME DOWN A PATH THAT IS NOT SO SWEET. BECAUSE I KNOW AT THE END OF ALL THINGS, AT THE END OF ALL TIME…….JESUS WAS AND IS THE LAST WORD. HE HAS MY FULL ALLEGIANCE, NO MATTER THE LIFE HE HAS MAPPED OUT FOR MY FAMILY AND ME.

“THOUGH HE SLAY ME, I WILL HOPE IN HIM. NEVERTHELESS I WILL ARGUE MY WAYS BEFORE HIM.” –JOB 13:15

“AS FOR ME, I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES, AND AT THE LAST HE WILL TAKE HIS STAND ON THE EARTH.” -JOB 19:25

“THESE THINGS I HAVE SPOKEN TO YOU, SO THAT IN ME YOU MAY HAVE PEACE, IN THE WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TRIBULATION, BUT TAKE COURAGE; I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD.” -JOHN 16:33

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
TO LOVE YOU THROUGH MY DESPAIR.
TO LOVE YOU THROUGH THE HURT,
WHEN I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWHERE.

TO LOVE YOU, BUT STILL WONDER
WHY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO.
TO LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH I FEEL
SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

TO TRUST IN YOU WHEN DARKNESS
SEEMS TO COVER THE WHOLE SKY,
TO HOPE IN YOU, TO FOLLOW,
TO LET YOU COMFORT ME WHEN I CRY.

I’M LEARNING HOW TO HOPE IN YOU
WHEN ALMOST ALL HOPE IS GONE.
TO TRUST YOU’RE STILL HERE
WHEN IT FEELS LIKE I’M ALONE.

I’M LEARNING HOW TO TRUST YOU
WHEN WAITING IS WHERE I’VE STAYED…
EVEN THOUGH EACH AND EVERY NIGHT
ALL I’VE DONE IS PRAYED AND PRAYED.

I’VE BEEN PRAYING FOR YOU TO COME,
FOR YOU TO ANSWER MY PRAYERS…
AND I’LL KEEP ASKING, I’LL KEEP HOPING,
THOUGH I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWHERE.

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE, LORD
I KNOW ALONE I’LL NEVER BE…
BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU’D NEVER LEAVE,
AND THAT YOU’D ALWAYS BE NEAR ME.

THIS WAITING I’VE BEEN DOING, GOD
CAN HURT SO MUCH SOME DAYS…
I WONDER IF I’VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG…
IF I NEED TO CHANGE MY WAYS.

BUT I REMEMBER THAT LIFE HAPPENS.
YOU CAUSE GOOD AND BAD TO RAIN.
AND LORD, I WILL STILL CLING TO YOU,
THROUGH ALL THE JOY AND PAIN.

JESSICA NICOLE SCHAFER
December 20, 2008

(I KNOW, I KNOW....THIS SNOWMAN LOOKS A LITTLE FREAKY, DOESN'T HE?!? HAHAHA)

*WE'RE ICED IN. BUT, I CAN'T PICK ANYONE ELSE I'D RATHER BE STUCK AT HOME WITH THAN MY BOYS WHOM I LOVE. :)

*I ENJOYED MAKING MY MOMMA'S DISHES SHE ALWAYS DID FOR THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING IT ALL AGAIN FOR CHRISTMAS. MOST PEOPLE, INCLUDING MYSELF, DON'T REMEMBER ALL THE PRESENTS WE GOT FROM YEAR TO YEAR....BUT WE DO REMEMBER TIME WITH OUR PRECIOUS LOVED ONES, BOTH FAMILY AND FRIENDS, AND THE MEALS WE SHARED TOGETHER. NOW THAT MY MOMMA'S NOT HERE, I WILL BE MAKING AN EFFORT TO KEEP DOING A LOT OF THE THINGS SHE ALWAYS DID.

*MY DADDY WILL BE COMING BACK SOON, SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

*WE DO THE "SANTA" THING FOR OUR SON. I WAS SOOOOOOOOO AGAINST IT BEFORE I HAD CHILDREN. BUT THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT SEEING A CHILD LIGHT UP, AND KEEPING THEIR LITTLE HEARTS FULL OF WONDER. NO, IT IS NOT THE MAIN FOCUS. OUR LIL' MAN KNOWS WE CELEBRATE AND GIVE GIFTS OUT OF LOVE, IN REMEMBRANCE OF THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL: CHRIST.

*I REALLY MISS MY FRIENDS. YOU GUYS KNOW WHO YOU ARE. HUG YOURSELF FOR ME, I WISH I COULD SEE YOU!!!

*I WISH I HAD MORE TO BLOG ABOUT, BUT THIS PAST YEAR, THIS PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE JUST BEEN TOUGH. SOMETIMES, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WANT TO SMILE, LIFE JUST BEATS THE HECK OUT OF YOU. LIKE I MENTIONED BEFORE, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR. IT HAS BEEN ODD GETTING TO KNOW THIS OTHER SIDE OF GOD WHOM I'VE NEVER HAD TO FACE BEFORE. THOUGH HE HAS ALLOWED CERTAIN THINGS TO HAPPEN THAT ARE SEVERELY HARD TO GO THROUGH....I FEEL MORE INTIMATE WITH HIM. IT HAS MADE ME REALIZE THAT NO MATTER WHAT I DO, EVEN IF I DO EVERYTHING "RIGHT", HE WILL STILL HAVE THE ULTIMATE SAY ON HOW MY LIFE GOES.

"FOR IF HE CAUSES GRIEF, THEN HE WILL HAVE COMPASSION ACCORDING TO HIS ABUNDANT LOVINGKINDNESS..................IS IT NOT FROM THE MOUTH OF THE MOST HIGH THAT BOTH GOOD AND ILL GO FORTH?"

*LAMENTATIONS 3:32 & 38

*THIS IS THE STORY OF OUR CHRISTMAS TREE THIS YEAR…TAKEN FROM MY HUSBAND’S BLOG:

And Darryl, in his crusade for a jovial Yule, procured his stoutest blade and did march into the forest to fell the mightiest tree that dared to cross his path!That's how it should've happened...

Some members of our church have a grass airstrip to go along with their WWII era Stearman bi-plane. The airstrip is surrounded by a good couple of acres of woods, so I asked Dave if Dylan and I could come out and find a Christmas tree. Fun times ahead.Not a single pine. Not one. Only stickly, prickly cedars. "Oh, well," Daddy said to Dylan, "we'll just go buy one this year." Enter the face that would break the hardest of hearts. "But, Daddy! You said we would cut down a tree!" So, Daddy ended up cutting down the stickly, prickly cedar of Dylan's choice -- the most scraggly excuse for a tree one could ever dream of. It's the kind of tree that would get teased at school by the real trees. But Dylan's proud of that runt cedar -- he picked it out. He helped cut it down and load it up. It's HIS tree. And it's lovely. Maybe we did indeed fell the mightiest tree in the forest.


NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT IS BY FAR THE BEST CHRISTMAS TREE WE'VE EVER DECORATED. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

*I'VE POSTED THIS BEFORE. AS I'VE SAT HERE ALREADY CRYING THIS MORNING REMEMBERING ALL THE HEARTACHE THIS DATE BROUGHT LAST YEAR, I WANTED TO SHARE THIS POEM AGAIN. IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH GRIEF, I HOPE IT ENCOURAGES YOU. REMEMBER, THIS ISN'T THE FINAL WORD, CHRIST IS. HE WAS AND IS. AND NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY MAY SAY TO YOU, HE UNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN, YOUR GRIEF, YOUR HEARTACHE, YOUR LONELINESS, YOUR FRUSTRATIONS, YOUR FEARS. HE IS WITH YOU. THOUGH AT TIMES WE FEEL HE IS NOT, HE IS.



"DECEMBER"

THERE’S SO MUCH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND,
MY CHILD, BUT PLEASE REMEMBER.
I WAS THERE WITH YOU AND HER EACH MOMENT
THAT YOU ALL WENT THROUGH IN DECEMBER.

I WAS THERE IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY TOO,
AS YOU REMEMBERED HER BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
IN MARCH AND APRIL, I WAS THERE STILL AS
THE PAIN FELT LIKE A KNIFE.

IN MAY AND JUNE AS THE MONTHS TURNED
HOTTER, MY COMFORT HAS STILL BEEN THERE.
AND I KNOW, MY CHILD, AT MOMENTS YOU’VE
FELT YOU CAN’T FIND ME ANYWHERE.

AS THE YEAR HAS PASSED, AND YOU’VE
CRIED AND MOURNED, I’VE NOT LEFT YOU ALONE.
I’VE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL, MY DAUGHTER
YOU CAN BE SURE I’VE NEVER GONE.

FROM JULY TO AUGUST WHEN THE WARM DAYS
DREW CLOSER TO A LONGER, COLDER NIGHT…
I HOPE YOU HAVE REMEMBERED MY LOVE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SHINING LIGHT.

WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS LEADING TO OCTOBER
THE FALLING LEAVES WILL COVER THE EARTH.
I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO GIVE THANKS TO ME,
THROUGH ALL THE HEARTACHE, ALL THE HURT.

GIVE THANKS THROUGH YOUR SORROW, YOUR
QUESTIONS AND DOUBT…DON’T WORRY I CAN HANDLE IT ALL.
AND REMEMBER I’M STILL THERE, I’LL NEVER LEAVE
EVEN ALL THROUGH THE CHANGES OF FALL.

WHEN NOVEMBER PASSES, BRINGING DECEMBER AGAIN,
REMINDING YOU OF HER SWEET HEART,
THROUGH YOUR PAIN AND YOUR TEARS, FRUSTRATION
AND FEARS, REMEMBER I’VE BEEN HERE SINCE THE START.

THOUGH I CAN’T GIVE YOU REASONS OF WHY
I CHOOSE THE PLANS THAT HAPPEN AROUND YOU,
REMEMBER THOUGH LIFE’S HARD AT TIMES, I’LL NEVER
LEAVE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE WITH YOU, TOO.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER NOW,
AS YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE
IN THAT WORLD YOU’RE IN FULL OF WORRIES
AND FEARS….SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER NOW, SHE’S FREE.

THOUGH YOU MAY GET ANGRY AT MOMENTS, THAT’S
FINE…I CAN HANDLE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU FEEL…
JUST COME TO ME EVERYTIME YOU’RE HURTING,
DON’T PRETEND WITH ME, BE REAL.

AS LIFE CONTINUES ON DOWN THE ROAD,
YOU CAN COUNT ON THE CHANGES I’LL BRING.
JUST COME TO ME, REMEMBER I’M HERE,
ONE DAY SOON WITH ME YOU’LL SING.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 25, 2008

I'VE BEEN TAGGED BY BRITTANY!! THANKS SO MUCH, GIRL!!! I AM TO LIST TEN THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR AND TAG 5 OTHER BLOGGERETTES. SO, HERE GOES!!

*10. I'M THANKFUL FOR MY FAVORITE DRINKS: WATER, COFFEE, AND MCD'S ICED HAZELNUT COFFEE.

*9. THE CHURCH. HAVING ONE ANOTHER TO LEAN ON THROUGHOUT LIFE MAKES IT MUCH EASIER TO HANDLE GRIEF AND MUCH FUNNER TO GO THROUGH THE JOYS OF LIFE.

*8. HAVING A HOME TO LIVE IN, VEHICLES TO DRIVE, FOOD TO EAT, AND CLOTHES ON MY BACK. I DON'T TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED, FOR I KNOW IN ONE SECOND THEY COULD ALL BE GONE.

*7. THE INTERNET!!! AND BLOGGERS!!! SERIOUSLY, I LIVE IN A VERY SMALL TOWN, OUT IN THE COUNTRY FROM THAT VERY SMALL TOWN.......THE INTERNET HELPS ME KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THOSE I LOVE AND MISS SO DEARLY, AND MEET LOVELY LADIES THAT BLOG!!! :)

*6. MUSIC. I LOVE MUSIC. ALL KINDS. OVER THE PAST YEAR OVER THE RHINE'S CHRISTMAS ALBUM "SNOW ANGELS" HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH MANY A TEARFUL DAY. SOMETIMES MUSIC CAN BE SUCH A COMFORT.

*5. HOMESCHOOLING. IT HAS BEEN SO AWESOME TO BE ABLE TO HOMESCHOOL OUR SON. HE LOVES IT, I LOVE IT, AND HIS DADDY LOVES IT. HE IS THRIVING SO MUCH, AND IT'S SO NEAT TO BE ABLE TO TAKE PART IN HIS EDUCATION IN SUCH A BIG WAY. HOMESCHOOLING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, AND THERE ARE SOME WHO CAN'T DO IT EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO. I'M GLAD GOD'S GIVEN US THE ABILITY TO DO THIS FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, AND HOPEFULLY MANY MORE.

*4. BOOKS. WE HAVE SO MANY BOOKS, AND I'VE BEEN TOLD BY MANY A HOMESCHOOLING MOMMA THAT BOOKS WILL KEEP PILING UP. IT'S SO NICE TO BE ABLE TO GET LOST IN A BOOK.......AND I'VE LOVED WATCHING DYLAN FALL IN LOVE WITH READING.

*3. MY FRIENDS. I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS, AND A LOT OF CLOSE ONES. I CHERISH THE FRIENDSHIPS GOD'S GIVEN ME WITH EACH OF THESE WONDERFUL LADIES. THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY'VE TOUCHED MY LIFE AND ENCOURAGED ME IN WAYS NOBODY ELSE EVER COULD HAVE.

*2. MY FAMILY: MY HUSBAND AND SON, MY MOMMA AND DADDY, MY SISTER, AND IN-LAWS. AND MY EXTENDED FAMILY. GOD HAS SHOWN ME SO MUCH ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR ME THROUGH MY FAMILY. I'M THANKFUL FOR ALL THE YEARS I HAD WITH MY MOMMA IN THIS LIFE, AND AM FILLED WITH JOY WHEN I THINK OF THE FACT THAT WE WILL BE REUNITED AGAIN ONE DAY, AND THERE WILL BE NO END TO THAT REUNION. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I KNOW NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT ABOUT THEIR MOMMAS, BUT I'M SO GLAD I HAD THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. MY DADDY IS WONDERFUL. HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST HEART OF ANYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN. MY SISTER....SHE USED TO TORTURE ME. :) HAHA. BUT I KNOW SHE LOVES ME. SHE IS SO DEAR TO ME, AND I'M GLAD TO HAVE SUCH A CLOSE BOND WITH HER. MY HUSBAND AND SON ARE AMAZING. I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I EVER DID TO DESERVE THEM. THEY BRING ME SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY, I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN IT. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, MY MOMMA GREW UP WITH ELEVEN SIBLINGS. AND MY DADDY GREW UP WITH ELEVEN SIBLINGS, TOO!! NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HAVE A LOT OF UNCLES AND AUNTS, AND I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY COUSINS I HAVE. I KNOW ON ONE SIDE IT'S ABOUT 50 OR 60....SO I HAVE TO HAVE AROUND 100 COUSINS. I SHOULD TALLEY THEM UP FOR YOU SOMETIME. I DON'T GET TO SEE ALL OF THEM THAT OFTEN, BUT I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR THEM, ALSO.

*1. GOD, THE GREAT COMFORTER. THAT'S THE SIDE OF HIM I'VE BEEN WELL ACQUAINTED WITH OVER THE PAST YEAR. EVEN THOUGH HE HIMSELF CAN STOP HEARTACHE, THERE ARE TIMES HE DOESN'T. KNOWING THE SORROWFUL SIDE OF HIM HAS OPENED UP A WHOLE NEW PART OF MY FAITH IN HIM. HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIVE LIFE, AND THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TAKE IT. I AM THANKFUL IN KNOWING HE HAS MY MOMMA. I AM THANKFUL IN KNOWING HE IS MY COMFORT, MY PEACE, MY ONLY HOPE. IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING OVER THE PAST YEAR, IT'S BEEN TO HOPE IN HIM AND NO OTHER. I'M THANKFUL FOR HIS WORDS TO US. THERE ARE MANY WHO WILL LIVE THEIR WHOLE LIVES AND NEVER BE ABLE TO OPEN UP THE HOLY BOOK THAT WAS LEFT TO US. I HOPE I NEVER TAKE FOR GRANTED BEING ABLE TO LOOK UPON HIS WORD DAILY.

*NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!! I TAG SISTER, KRYSTLE, ANDREA, SARAH, AND VICKI, JESSICA, BREA, AND LIZ. I KNOW I DID MORE THAN 5, I COULDN'T HELP IT!! HAVE FUN AND PASS IT ON, LADIES!

*IT’S SNOWING LIKE CRAZY OUTSIDE. SO PRETTY, YET DEPRESSING AT THE SAME TIME.

*I MADE A SEVENTY-SIX MILLION COURSE MEAL FOR THANKSGIVING, IT WAS DELICIOUS….IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

*MY DADDY WAS HERE, AND WILL BE HERE THROUGH THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, SO I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD ABOUT THAT.

*MY ANKLE IS STILL HURTING, HASN’T HEALED ALL THE WAY YET. (PROBABLY HAS A LOT TO DO WITH BEING ON MY FEET FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW COOKING…….’YA THINK?)

*I AM READY FOR 2009.

*ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE CAME UP TO SEE ME FRIDAY!!! I’M SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE HER. I NEEDED THAT! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, SHE OFFERED TO DESIGN OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR, AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL. LOOKING FORWARD TO SENDING THOSE. THANK YOU, HILARIE!!!

*MY COUSIN FROM TEXAS HAPPENED TO BE IN A CITY NEAR ME AND WAS ABLE TO COME HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH US. THAT WAS SUCH A NEAT THING.

*I STILL HAVE SOME SHOPPING TO DO FOR CHRISTMAS, PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!

*MY HUSBAND, WHO IS 6’8”, HAS BEEN DOING ALL THE DISHES AND KITCHEN CLEANING SINCE I HURT MY ANKLE. I APPRECIATE HIM SO MUCH. BUT HONESTLY, I APPRECIATE HIM A LITTLE MORE KNOWING HE’S BEEN DOING IT AND HURTING HIS BACK SO MUCH….HE’S LITERALLY BENT IN HALF THE WHOLE TIME HE’S CLEANING. THANK YOU, LOVE. YOU SPOIL ME. (AFTER RE-READING THIS, WE SOUND LIKE A COUPLE OF NINETY-YEAR OLDS….HAHAHA. OH WELL, I’M SURE HE’LL STILL DO STUFF LIKE THAT FOR ME WHEN WE ARE 90!)

*I MAY GET TO SEE MANDOLYN AND BEN THIS MONTH, AND I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT. WE HAVEN’T SEEN THEM IN OVER TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

*I MISS MY FRIENDS A WHOLE HECKUVALOT RIGHT NOW.

*I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO 2009. I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT. BUT IN LIGHT OF HOW THE LAST YEAR’S BEEN, IT’S THROWN HEARTACHE, GRIEF, WORRY, SOLIDARITY, AND A LOT MORE I HAVEN’T BLOGGED ABOUT MY WAY. SO FOR THANKSGIVING, I WAS THANKING GOD FOR WHAT HE WILL DO NEXT YEAR, AND THE YEAR AFTER, AND SO ON. LIFE AIN’T ALWAYS PEACHES AND ROSES. THIS PAST YEAR HAS INDEED BEEN A CACTUS FOR ME. I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE THAT I HAVE BEEN BEGGING GOD TO SEND OUR WAY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR ME, I ASK YOU TO DO SO AGAIN THIS WEEK. IT’S ABOUT TO BE A YEAR SINCE EVERYTHING STARTED FALLING APART. THANK YOU. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME. IF YOU HAVE YOUR MOMMA WITH YOU, HUG HER TIGHT THIS YEAR. HUG HER TIGHT EVERY CHANCE YOU GET.

AS HE WAS SQUIRMING ALL AROUND IN THE TUB, I WAS BUSY TRYING TO WASH HIS HAIR WHILE STANDING ON AN ANKLE THAT STILL HURT TERRIBLY. SO, I WAS TRYING TO GET MY PRECIOUS SON’S BATH DONE QUICKLY TO SPARE MYSELF A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN. AS EVERYONE KNOWS, IT’S NOT EASY FOR LITTLE ONES TO BE STILL, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE SURROUNDED BY BUBBLES AND TOYS. “OKAY, BABY. MOMMY HAS TO WASH YOUR HAIR, SO LOOK UP FOR ME…” I SAID TO HIM AS I WAS POURING WATER ON HIS LITTLE HEAD AND THEN PROCEEDED TO LATHER THE SOAP UP. AMIDST HIS FAVORITE TIME OF THE EVENING, I BEGAN TO POUR THE WATER OVER HIS HEAD TO RINSE OUT THE SOAP…ALL THE WHILE REMINDING HIM TO LOOK UP. AND OF COURSE, AS IT HAPPENS ALMOST EVERY BATHTIME, HE LOOKED DOWN IN SEARCH OF THE TOY THAT JUST SLIPPED OUT OF HIS HAND. HE STARTED STRESSING OUT A LITTLE BIT, QUICKLY SEARCHING FOR ME TO GRAB ONTO SO HE COULD USE MY SHIRT TO DRY HIS EYES. I QUICKLY SAID TO HIM, “DYLAN, BABY, YOU HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING UP, OKAY? YOU HAVE TO LOOK UP BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU LOOK DOWN ALL THE SOAP AND WATER GETS INTO YOUR EYES AND YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING, AND THAT’S WHY IT HURTS.”

I KID YOU NOT, AS SOON AS THOSE WORDS WERE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH, I COULD HEAR THE SAME WORDS BEING TOLD TO MYSELF. LIFE’S HARD? ARE YOU ALONE? ARE YOU WORRIED? ARE YOU STRESSED? HAVE YOU BEEN BETRAYED? WORRIED ABOUT BILLS? WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH OR THAT OF A LOVED ONE? HAVE YOU BEEN LET DOWN? HAVE YOU BEEN ABANDONED? ARE YOU HURTING? ARE YOU DISCOURAGED? ARE YOU BURNT OUT? ARE YOU GRIEVING? SAD? FRUSTRATED? ANGRY? KEEP LOOKING UP.

THOUGH WE SOMETIMES HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH TIMES IN LIFE THAT ARE MUCH LESS THAN HAPPY, WE HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING UP. HE IS OUR HOPE. HE IS OUR FRIEND. “THOUGH HE SLAY ME, I WILL HOPE IN HIM. NEVERTHELESS I WILL ARGUE MY WAYS BEFORE HIM.” (JOB 13:15)
SINCE THE LAST YEAR, AFTER LOSING MY BEST FRIEND, MY SWEET MOMMA, LIFE HAS BEEN TOUGH. IT’S BEEN DESPERATE, I HAVE BEEN DESPERATE. I WON’T GO INTO EVERYTHING LIFE’S BEEN HANDING MYSELF AND MY FAMILY, BUT SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT WE ARE READY FOR A CHANGE, WE ARE READY FOR SOMETHING GOOD. THROUGH ALL THIS, I HAVE KEPT CLOSE TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER, THOUGH HE INDEED IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO STOP ALL THE HEARTACHE, HE ALLOWS IT…..YET I CAN ONLY CLING TO HIM BECAUSE HE HOLDS THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH IN HIS VERY HAND. HOW CAN I NOT STILL RUN TO HIM? SOMETIMES IN LIFE, WE’RE NOT PUT THROUGH TRAGEDY TO TEACH US A LESSON, SOMETIMES THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. AND WE HAVE A CHOICE TO MAKE. WE CAN EITHER STILL FOLLOW HIM, OR TURN AWAY. I CANNOT TURN AWAY. IT ACHES MY HEART WHEN I HEAR THINGS LIKE, “WELL, GOD IS TRYING TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING THROUGH THE DEATH OF YOUR LOVED ONE…”……WHAT?!?!?!?! THAT IS SUCH A SELFISH WAY TO VIEW DEATH. SO YOU MEAN GOD WOULD ACTUALLY TAKE ANOTHER PRECIOUS PERSON’S LIFE JUST TO TEACH A LESSON TO ME? HEAVEN FORBID. NO, MY PRECIOUS READER, THAT IS NOT HOW GOD WORKS. YES, WE MAY LEARN LESSONS IN THE MIDST OF TRAGEDY. BUT DEATH IS A PROMISE IN THIS LIFE. WE ARE ALL BORN, AND WE ALL DIE IN THIS LIFE. YET WITH HIM THERE IS ETERNAL LIFE. AND TRAGEDY MAY HAPPEN. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, IT DEFINITELY WILL. BUT STAY CLOSE TO HIM. HE’S THE ULTIMATE COMFORTER. HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU, THOUGH YOU FEEL HE HAS.

I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT THE PARABLE OF THE SOWER IN MATTHEW 13: 18-23. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ IT. MY HOPE IS THAT I WILL NOT BECOME ONE WHO LETS THE AFFLICTION OR PERSECUTION (VV. 21), OR THE WORRY OF THE WORLD AND THE DECEITFULNESS OF WEALTH (VV. 22) CHOKE HIS WORD OUT OF ME. I HOPE I CAN PROVE TO BE ONE WHO WAS “GOOD SOIL” (VV. 23). I HOPE THE SAME FOR YOU. YES, OUR LIVES MAY BE FILLED WITH SORROW, PAIN, WORRIES, FEAR, HURT…….BUT IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. AND EVEN IF IT DOES LAST THIS LIFETIME THROUGH, HE HAS ALREADY HAD THE LAST WORD!! MARANATHA!!! COME, LORD JESUS!!! I AM SO WEARY. I AM SO HURT. I AM SO TIRED. HELP ME KEEP MY EYES ON YOU SO I CAN STILL SEE, HELP ME AND MY FAMILY KEEP OUR EYES ON YOU AND NOT LET THIS WORLD TAKE AWAY THE HOPE YOU’VE PLANTED SO FIRMLY IN US. HELP US ALL KEEP LOOKING UP, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS OUR WAY.

*”COME TO ME, ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY-LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, FOR I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.” -MATTHEW 11:28-30

“MY SOUL WEEPS BECAUSE OF GRIEF; STRENGTHEN ME ACCORDING TO YOUR WORD.” -PSALM 119:28

“I WILL LIFT UP MY EYES TO THE MOUNTAINS; FROM WHERE SHALL MY HELP COME? MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD, WHO MADE HEAVEN AND EARTH. HE WILL NOT ALLOW YOUR FOOT TO SLIP; HE WHO KEEPS YOU WILL NOT SLUMBER.” –PSALM 121:1-3 (emphasis mine)

KEEP LOOKING UP.

I SWEAR, THIS SWEET COUPLE WROTE THESE LYRICS FOR ME. I LOVE THIS SONG.

So it’s been a long year
Every new day brings one more tear
Till there’s nothing left to cry
My, my how time flies
Like little children hiding their eyes
We’ll make it disappear
Let’s start a brand new year

Darlin’ Christmas is coming
Salvation army bells are ringing
Darlin’ Christmas is coming
Do you believe in angels singing?
Darlin’ the snow is falling
Falling like forgiveness from the sky

If I could have anything
What would I want this new year to bring?
Well, I’d want you here with me
Tear these thorns from my heart
Help the healing to start
Let’s set this old world free
Let’s start with you and me

Darlin’ Christmas is coming
Salvation army bells are ringing
Darlin’ Christmas is coming
Do you believe in angels singing?
Darlin’ the snow is falling
Falling like forgiveness from the sky.


(OVER THE RHINE)

*I’M STILL HERE, TRYING TO HEAL. HAVING A SPRAINED ANKLE IS SUCH A SUPER HUGE INCONVENIENCE!!!!!! SHEESH.

*MY FAMILY, MY HUSBAND’S FAMILY, AND LOTS OF OUR FRIENDS ARE GOING THROUGH SOME ROUGH TIMES. IF YOU’RE THE PRAYIN’ TYPE, PLEASE LIFT US UP. THANKS.

*WE’RE DOING SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING THIS WEEK, SO I’M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT. ALTHOUGH IT’LL TAKE ME A BIT LONGER TO GET AROUND, WITH THE CRUTCH AND ALL. OH WELL, IT’LL STILL BE FUN!!

*IT’S SO COLD HERE. AND YESTERDAY IT SNOWED NEAR US. JUST A SIGN THAT ALL THAT SNOW WILL BE HERE SOON. I’M NOT TOO BIG ON THE SNOW ANYMORE, LET ALONE THE WHOLE SEASON OF WINTER. I JUST HOPE IT’S OVER SOON. I’LL BE ENJOYING TIME WITH MY HUSBAND AND SON, AND HOPING SPRING ARRIVES EARLY.

*MY SISTER-IN-LAW IS SLOWLY IMPROVING. WE GOT TO SEE HER OVER THE WEEKEND. IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME FOR HER TO GET THROUGH THIS. I KNOW SHE GETS FRUSTRATED AT TIMES, I CAN’T IMAGINE.

*IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOME GOOD CHRISTMAS ALBUMS, HERE ARE MY FAVORITES: HANDEL’S “MESSIAH”, OVER THE RHINE’S “SNOW ANGEL”, ANY OF GEORGE STRAIT’S, AND MARIAH CAREY’S CHRISTMAS ALBUM……THEY’RE ALL GOOD. AND THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG? “I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS”…….MY MOMMA LEFT ME A MESSAGE SINGING THAT SONG A FEW DAYS BEFORE EVERYTHING HAPPENED LAST DECEMBER. THAT SONG WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE WITH ME.

SO, WHILE SNATCHING A FEW MOMENTS WITH OUR FAMILY TOGETHER YESTERDAY, WE HAD TO RUN A COUPLE OF ERRANDS, GET MY LIL’ MAN’S HAIR CUT, HIT THE STORE, THEN COME STRAIGHT HOME. THAT WAS THE PLAN, ANYWAY. CUT TO A FEW HOURS LATER: MY SON WAS DROPPED OFF AT MY SISTER’S HOUSE WHILE MY HUSBAND TOOK ME TO THE ER. YEAH. THEY DID THREE X-RAYS ON MY ANKLE, I SPRAINED IT PRETTY BADLY. BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS I DIDN’T BREAK IT. FOR NOW, I HAVE TO STAY OFF OF IT. PRETTY HARD TO DO WHEN ONE HAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD TO RUN AFTER. MEANWHILE, THE SWEET HANDSOME HUSBAND IS TAKING CARE OF ME. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT HIM. AND DYLAN KEEPS KISSING MY ANKLE TO MAKE IT BETTER. HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE OVER WITH SOON. IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I’M NOT ONE WHO LIKES TO SIT FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE AT A TIME! IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANY ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAYER IS EXTREMELY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU!

THERE WILL NEVER BE AN ANSWER FOR SOME
OF THE THINGS WE HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH.
SOMETIMES WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP GOING,
THOUGH NOTHING INSIDE US WANTS TO.

THERE ARE TIMES IN LIFE THAT ARE FULL OF
DOUBT, QUESTIONS, GRIEF, AND FEAR…
AND WE WONDER WHERE GOD IS IN ALL OF IT,
IS HE REALLY HERE?

“WHY WOULD HE LET THIS HAPPEN!?” WE SCREAM…
WHY HASN’T HE STOPPED THE PAIN?
WHEN WILL HE STEP IN AND BRING US SOME
SUNSHINE INSTEAD OF RAIN?

AND MANY PEOPLE CLAIM THEY HAVE THE
ANSWERS WE’RE LOOKING FOR…
BUT THE REALITY IS SOMETIMES THERE ARE NO
ANSWERS…JUST A GREAT, BIG, CLOSED DOOR.

AND SOMETIMES IN LIFE ALL WE CAN DO
IS WAIT AND TRUST, OFTEN CRYING.
WE HAVE TO JUST SIT BACK AND HOPE IN HIM,
THOUGH WE FEEL A PART OF OURSELVES DYING.

THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS THAT HE IS STILL HERE,
THOUGH IT FEELS AT TIMES HE’S GONE…
WE HAVE TO REMEMBER HIS PROMISES,
SOMETIMES THAT IS ALL WE CAN LEAN ON.

THE TRUTH IS HE LOVES US DEARLY,
AND HE FEELS OUR DOUBTS AND PAIN,
AND THERE WILL COME A DAY-NOBODY KNOWS WHEN-
THAT OUR HEARTS WILL LAUGH AGAIN.

SO THROUGH THE SORROW AND THE DARKNESS,
WE HAVE TO CLING TO HIM-HE’S THE LIGHT-
WE HAVE TO TRUST HE’LL BRING SUNSHINE SOON,
THOUGH FOR A TIME LIVE THROUGH THE NIGHT.


J.N.S. November 1, 2008

*MY SISTER-IN-LAW IS STILL DOING ABOUT THE SAME.  PLEASE CONTINUE PRAYING FOR HER AND THE WHOLE FAMILY.  AS OF NOW, ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE THAT SHE FULLY RECOVERS, AND SOON.  SOME PEOPLE DON'T REGAIN COMPLETE MOVEMENT  THROUGHOUT THEIR BODIES AND LIMBS, WE'RE PRAYING THAT'S NOT THE CASE FOR HER, THAT SHE REGAINS EVERYTHING.  IT COULD BE MONTHS TO A FULL YEAR BEFORE SHE'S FULLY OVER ALL OF THIS.  

*I'D REALLY APPRECIATE PRAYER FOR OUR FAMILY, TOO.  THERE'S LOTS HAPPENING.  AND SEEING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON APPROACHING SOON HAS MADE ME MISS MY MOMMA DESPERATELY.  I CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE SOMETIMES, BECAUSE CHRISTMAS WAS HER ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR.  HOWEVER, THE MOMENTS ARE STILL SO OFTEN THAT I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE SHE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE TO SHARE LIFE WITH US.  

*I'M QUITE APPALLED WITH THIS MOVEMENT OF "BELIEVERS" LATELY WHO HAVE BEEN SO QUICK TO JUDGE BARACK OBAMA.  I DID NOT LIKE EITHER CANDIDATE THIS YEAR, BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS MAN WAS ELECTED TO LEAD OUR COUNTRY.  IF YOU ARE A TRUE "BELIEVER", THEN YOU MUST ADHERE TO THE FACT THAT THIS MAN WAS ORDAINED TO FILL THIS SPOT.  SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT HIM BEING MUSLIM, THE ANTI-CHRIST, ANTI-AMERICAN, ETC.....HOW DISGUSTING FOR "BELIEVERS" TO TAKE PART IN GOSSIP!!  HOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT THE "CHRISTIAN" THING TO DO???!!?!  IF YOU HEAR SUCH NONSENSE, REMIND YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF HOW DISGUSTING IT IS TO TREAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THIS WAY.  WE SHOULD BE PRAYING FOR HIM, JUST AS WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR BUSH AND EVERY PRESIDENT BEFORE AND AFTER THIS TIME.  WE ANSWER TO ONE LORD.  AND HE HAS APPOINTED THIS MAN.  DON'T BE A PART OF TEARING DOWN HUMANITY.  "PRO-LIFE" DOES NOT JUST MEAN "NO ABORTIONS".....IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY YOU'RE "PRO-LIFE".....THEN BE PRO-LIFE ALL AROUND.......LOVE OTHERS, GIVE TO OTHERS, TAKE CARE OF THE NEEDY, TAKE CARE OF THE WIDOWS AND ORPHANS,......."TREAT OTHERS THE SAME WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU".........."LOVE YOUR ENEMIES"............"HONOUR ALL PEOPLE, LOVE THE BROTHERHOOD, FEAR GOD, HONOUR THE KING".     

*LET'S TRY TO REMEMBER HOW TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER INSTEAD OF SO QUICKLY JUDGING AND TEARING DOWN.  

SO ABOUT THREE HOURS AGO I WAS JUST EXHAUSTED. IN LIGHT OF THE PAST YEAR'S EVENTS, WITH THE PAST WEEK PILED ON, MY SON'S ALLERGIES OR A COLD BUGGING HIM, GETTING READY TO LOAD UP ON THE ROAD IN THE MORNING.......I STARTED REALLY MISSING MY MOMMA SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO FOCUS ON THAT, AS THERE IS MUCH ON MY HUSBAND'S PLATE RIGHT NOW. SO I WALKED OVER TO MY HUSBAND WHO IS, WELL, IN A WORD WEARY. I PUT MY ARMS AROUND HIM, SMILED REALLY BIG AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING......WITH HOW STINKY THINGS HAVE BEEN, LIFE CAN ONLY GET BETTER, RIGHT? I MEAN IT HAS TO GET BETTER.....AND EVEN IF IT DOES GET WORSE SOMEHOW, THEN IT STILL HAS TO GET BETTER AFTER THAT!".......

A SHORT TIME AFTER THAT, MY HUSBAND COMES IN FROM LOADING THE VAN AND MANAGES TO SQUEEZE OUT OF HIS FRUSTRATED LIPS, "I HAVE TO TAKE THE BATTERY AND GET IT CHECKED. THE VAN WON'T START. IT'S EITHER THE BATTERY OR SOMETHING WORSE....PRAY IT'S NOT THE 'SOMETHING WORSE'." SERIOUSLY? GOD, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!!?!?!?!?
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THOSE SITCOMS WHERE THINGS ARE JUST SO RIDICULOUSLY BAD FOR SOMEONE THAT ALL YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH BECAUSE IT'S REALLY NEVER THAT BAD ALL AT ONCE IN A PERSON'S LIFE......HAHA. YEAH, RIGHT. WE'RE IN THAT SITCOM RIGHT NOW.

IT WAS THE BATTERY, THANK GOD. IT WASN'T "SOMETHING WORSE". THANK YOU LORD. EDIT: WHEN HE WENT TO DOUBLE CHECK EVERYTHING ON THE VAN, HE PULLED UP AND WAS NOTIFIED BY THE MEN WHO WORKED THERE THAT WE HAD A HEADLIGHT OUT. SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!

AN HOUR AFTER THAT MY SON WOKE UP FROM A MUCH NEEDED NAP, HE WAS IN ONE OF THOSE, "I'M SO SICK, HUNGRY, HOMESICK, TIRED, AND EXHAUSTED, SO ALL I'M GOING TO DO IS THROW A FIT BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO" KIND OF MOODS. AS I PICKED HIM UP WHILE HE WAS JUST FLAILING ABOUT, CRYING AND WHINING, I WHISPERED IN HIS EAR, "IT'S ALRIGHT, MOMMA'S HERE. EVERYTHING'S OKAY BECAUSE MOMMA'S HERE".....AND I LET HIM JUST THROW A FIT WHILE I HELD HIM IN MY ARMS. AND AS I WAS LIVING THROUGH THIS MOMENT, I REMEMBERED THAT'S WHAT OUR LORD DOES WITH US. I WANT TO DO THE SAME THING MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD WAS DOING, I WANT TO JUST LOSE IT AND CRY AND SCREAM AND PITCH THE BIGGEST FIT I CAN THROW ALL AT ONCE.......BECAUSE I KNOW WHEN I DO, GOD WILL WHISPER THE SAME THING, "IT'S OKAY, I'M HERE....EVERYTHING'S OKAY BECAUSE I'M HERE."

*AS I SIT HERE TO ENTER A NEW POST, DEREK WEBB'S SONG "THIS TOO SHALL BE MADE RIGHT" BEGINS TO PLAY. SO APPROPRIATE FOR RIGHT NOW. REMEMBER SEVERAL POSTS BACK, I TYPED IN AN ENTRY, "EVER FEEL LIKE LIFE'S JUST BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU"??? MAN, I'M READY FOR THE BEATINGS TO STOP!! LONG STORY SHORT MY HUSBAND'S BABY SISTER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH GUILLAIN-BARRE SYNDROME. AS OF NOW, HIS PARENTS ARE THERE WITH HER IN THE HOSPITAL. SHE'S NOT DOING WELL, HAD A BETTER NIGHT LAST NIGHT, BUT TODAY HASN'T BEEN SO GOOD FOR HER. PLEASE PRAY FOR HER, I KNOW SHE'S SCARED, AS IS THE REST OF HER FAMILY. WE CAN'T BE THERE, WHICH IS PRETTY TOUGH ON DARRYL RIGHT NOW. BUT WE ARE WHERE WE NEED TO BE, TAKING CARE OF DARRYL'S UNCLE WHO HAS TO HAVE A CAREGIVER. I COVET YOUR PRAYERS.

*WE FOUND OUT FROM AN EVENING PHONE CALL THAT ALL THIS WAS HAPPENING, AND HAD TO PACK QUICKLY AND HEAD OUT THE DOOR. THE LAST TIME I DID THIS WAS DECEMBER WHEN OUR LIVES WHERE CHANGED FOREVER WITH THE TRAGEDY THAT HAPPENED TO MY MOMMA, FOLLOWED BY HER PASSING.

*I KNOW BLOGS CAN BE FUN, AND I REALIZE THAT MANY LADIES SEARCH BLOGS LOOKING FOR SOME LAUGHS, SOME ENCOURAGEMENT, HOUSEKEEPING TIPS, PARENTING TIPS, ETC. THOUGH I SO QUICKLY WANT TO SAY "SORRY YOU CAN'T FIND THAT HERE".......I CAN'T REALLY APOLOGIZE FOR REALITY. THIS HAS BEEN MY REALITY LATELY, THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS, EVEN NOW. THIS IS THE PATH THAT GOD HAS SET MY FAMILY ON. SOMETIMES IN LIFE, OUR OWN BAD DECISIONS LEAD TO FACING CONSEQUENCES. YET THERE ARE TIMES WHEN GOD ALLOWS US TO LIVE THROUGH DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, POSSIBLY YEARS WITHOUT EXPERIENCING FABULOUS, JOYOUS TIMES. AND THE THING IS, I HAVE BECOME CLOSER TO HIM THROUGH ALL OF THIS. BECAUSE I HAD TO FACE THE GRIEF OF LOSING MY SWEET MOMMA UNEXPECTEDLY, I HAD A CHOICE. I COULD BECOME BITTER, SHUT THE ONES THAT I LOVE OUT OF MY LIFE, NOT TRUST GOD, IGNORE THE OBVIOUS REALITY OF LIFE THAT WAS HAPPENING AROUND ME.......ALL OF WHICH IS SUCH AN EASY THING TO DO WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN. OR, I COULD FACE WHAT WAS HAPPENING, AND HEAD STRAIGHT THROUGH IT, KNOWING THE ROAD AHEAD WOULD BE FILLED WITH PAIN. FOR ME, THAT WAS WHAT I DID...PLOWED RIGHT THROUGH. BECAUSE ALL OF THE UGLINESS IN THIS LIFE, ALL OF THE HEARTACHE, ALL OF THE HURT, THE TEARS, THE WORRIES, THE FEARS............WILL ALL BE UNDONE ONE DAY. SO I DO CRY, I DO MOURN, I DO SPEAK ABOUT MY MOMMA SO OFTEN BECAUSE I MISS HER!!!......I GET LONELY SOMETIMES, I GET AFRAID, BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE!!!!!!! HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS MY HEART AND HE UNDERSTANDS. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE IS HERE WITH ME, AND HE SAYS, "MY DAUGHTER I HURT WITH YOU..".... THAT IS WHY I TRUST HIM. THAT IS WHY I STILL LOVE HIM. THAT IS WHY I FOLLOW HIM. THAT IS WHY I SERVE HIM AND HIS CHILDREN. BECAUSE HE HIMSELF HOLDS THE POWER OF THE VERY BREATH WE HAVE IN THIS LIFE....AND HE ALONE IS THE ONE WHO ENDS OUR BREATH HERE. SO LADIES, RIGHT NOW THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO OFFER. THAT IS MY LIFE FOR THIS TIME. PLEASE KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE YOU READING MY THOUGHTS, I APPRECIATE YOUR COMMENTS. AND RIGHT NOW, I REALLY ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS. MAYBE MY BEING TOTALLY CANDID WITH WHAT'S HAPPENING IN MY LIFE WILL MAKE SOME OTHER LADY KNOW THAT SHE IS NOT ALONE IN HER PAIN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


"THIS, TOO SHALL BE MADE RIGHT."

A RECAP.

*FORGOT TO MENTION THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I HAD TO USE A PORT-A-POTTY AT THAT CORN MAZE WE WENT TO…….I AM FOREVER SCARRED BECAUSE OF IT. UGH.

*ON THURSDAY, I GOT TO TRY ON BRIDESMAID DRESSES FOR A FRIEND'S WEDDING. THAT WAS FUN. SHE LET US PICK OUT WHATEVER DRESS WE WANTED, BUT IT JUST HAD TO BE A CERTAIN COLOR. I'VE LOST A FEW POUNDS AND HAVE BEEN EXERCISING A BIT, AND CAN I JUST SAY THAT I WAS ROCKIN' THAT DRESS?!?! AM I ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ON MY OWN BLOG? HAHAHA. THAT'S A BIG STEP FOR ME, SINCE I NEVER, EVER, EVER THINK I AM PRETTY AT ALL.

*I GOT INVITED TO HELP LEAD WORSHIP AT A CONFERENCE MY SISTER DID OVER THE WEEKEND, AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. I HAVE SUCH A HEART FOR DOING THAT, AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS. SISTER DID A WONDERFUL JOB, AND IT ALL WENT VERY SMOOTHLY. UNTIL I GOT HOME SATURDAY NIGHT…

*EITHER FOOD POISONING OR A LIL’ STOMACH BUG GOT HOLD OF ME LATE SATURDAY NIGHT. IT. WAS. NOT. FUN. I FELT LIKE I WAS KNOCKING ON DEATH’S DOOR ABOUT 12:30A.M.

*DARRYL HAD THE BABY ALL EVENING FRIDAY AND ALL DAY YESTERDAY, FOR SOME “DADDY-DYLAN” TIME…..THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN. AND OF COURSE ATE THINGS LIKE PIZZA, DARRYL’S HOMEMADE BROWNIES (YES, HE’S GOOD LIKE THAT)…….AND WATCHED MOVIES. ALSO, DARRYL DID SOME CRAZY CLEANING FOR ME, THINGS I NEVER HAVE TIME TO DO, LIKE MAKE THE TOP OF THE FRIDGE LOOK NICE, CLEANED AND ORGANIZED MY PANTRY, AND REPLACED ALL THOSE SHINY THINGIES ON MY STOVETOP. NOT TO MENTION HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN I CAME DOWN WITH THAT CRUD LAST NIGHT…….ALL IN THE MIDST OF HAVING TO PREPARE FOR HIS FIRST EXAM ON MONDAY!!! I LOVE THAT MAN. SERIOUSLY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY GOD GAVE ME SUCH AN AMAZING HUSBAND, I DO NOT DESERVE HIM. HE LOVES ME COMPLETELY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY, AND UNCONDITIONALLY. HE IS CONSTANTLY A BLESSING TO ME AND DYLAN. MY PARENTS WERE VERY PROUD TO GIVE HIM MY HAND IN MARRIAGE. AND DID I MENTION HE’S PRETTY DARN GOOD-LOOKIN’, TOO? HEHE.

*I AM SO TIRED. MY CHEST HURTS FROM VOMITING. GROSS, HUH? BUT IT’S TRUE. IT ACHES SO BADLY. PLEASE PRAY THAT THIS IS ALL OVER WITH SOON. I’D APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH!!

A PRAYER.

THEY SAY TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS,
BUT YOU REMIND ME THAT’S NOT TRUE…
WE’LL ALWAYS CARRY THE MEMORIES,
WE’LL JUST HAVE TO LEAN MORE ON YOU.

I USED TO THINK I COULD JUST READ A BOOK
TO TELL ME HOW TO DEAL
WITH ALL THE GRIEF, ALL THE HEARTACHE,
BUT NOW I KNOW WHAT’S REAL.

YOU’VE OFFERED TO TAKE MY BURDENS,
EACH AND EVERY ONE I CARRY…
PLEASE LORD, SHOULDER THIS PAIN FOR ME,
COME NOW, FATHER, DO NOT TARRY.

THOUGH THIS PROBABLY WON’T BE THE
LAST TIME GRIEF COMES KNOCKING AT MY DOOR,
I KNOW THAT YOU WILL CARRY ME THROUGH,
LORD….I KNOW THAT NOW MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.

WE READ IN YOUR GOOD BOOK THAT
DEATH IS A PART OF THIS LIFE HERE…
AND WE WILL HAVE TO FACE IT,
ALL THE WHILE KNOWING YOU ARE NEAR.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO COMFORT ME,
AND OTHERS WHO SHOULDER SUCH PAIN.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO HUG US TIGHT,
HELP US CLING TO YOU THROUGH THE RAIN.

WHILE I REMEMBER THIS TRAGEDY, LORD,
WHILE I RE-LIVE THE PAIN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
THANK YOU FOR THE PROMISE THAT YOU ARE HERE,
AND THANK YOU FOR STILL ALLOWING ME TO SMILE.

JESSICA SCHAFER October 14, 2008

*WELL, IT WENT JUST AS QUICKLY AS IT CAME. AND NOW I’M 28. I HONESTLY DON’T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT. I WAS TELLING SOME FRIENDS TODAY THAT I THINK BETWEEN 21-29, NOT A LOT HAPPENS. I MEAN, LIFE HAPPENS, AND IT DEFINITELY CHANGES YOU. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HOW I LOOK AND “FEEL”…..PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THERE.

*DARRYL TOOK ME AWAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. IT WAS A LOT OF FUN. HE SPOILED ME, AS USUAL. HE ALWAYS GOES OVERBOARD. HE TOOK ME SHOPPING, TO A JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE, WE ALL WENT TO ANOTHER FALL FESTIVAL PLACE WITH A CORN MAZE, PUMPKIN PATCH, PONY RIDE, ETC…..DYLAN LOVED THAT. THEY GOT ME “THE WIZARD OF OZ” MONOPOLY GAME AND A STEAMER THAT I HAD BEEN WANTING FOREVER TO USE INSTEAD OF AN IRON………WHICH, BY THE WAY IS AWESOME. AND IT WAS VERY AFFORDABLE, TOO. WE WERE DRIVING HOME AND HE SAID, “BABY, I JUST WANTED TO KEEP YOU BUSY AND HAVING A GOOD TIME….”….HE KNEW IT WAS A TOUGH DAY FOR ME. I LOVE THAT MAN.

*AND YES, IT WAS TOUGH. IT JUST WASN’T THE SAME WITHOUT MY MOMMA CALLING ME OR BEING HERE WITH ME. IT’S HARD WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. I MEAN, ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEE A GAL MY AGE HANGING OUT WITH HER MOMMA AND HER GRANDMOTHER, TOO…….I FIND MYSELF ENVYING HER IN SO MANY WAYS. I KNOW THAT’LL NEVER BE ME. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMA AGAIN. I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW ANOTHER MOMMA WHO WAS AS HILARIOUS AS HER. SHE WAS ALWAYS MAKING PEOPLE SMILE AND LAUGH.

*KNOWING THAT IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN, THAT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE, I STILL FOUND MYSELF WAITING FOR MY MOMMA TO CALL ME ALL DAY ON MY BIRTHDAY. THERE WAS JUST THIS SMALL PART OF ME THAT WISHED IT SO MUCH THAT I FOUND MYSELF, IN MOMENTS THAT WERE FLEETING, WAITING TO HEAR HER VOICE. ANOTHER THING THAT JUST BREAKS MY HEART IS WHEN WE’RE OUT IN PUBLIC, AROUND A SEA OF PEOPLE, I’LL SEE A LADY OFF IN THE DISTANCE WITH HER HAIR COLOR, OR A SHIRT THAT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF HERS, AND I’LL TAKE THREE OR FOUR LOOKS THINKING, “OH, DARRYL, THERE’S MOMMA…..HOLD ON, LET ME GO GET HER AND TELL HER WE’RE HERE….I WONDER WHAT SHE’S DOING HERE?!?!....”…..AND THEN I REMEMBER. I HATE THOSE MOMENTS WHEN I HAVE TO REMEMBER REALITY.

*THANK YOU, MANDY AND BEN, FOR REMINDING ME IN THE PREVIOUS POST THAT IT’S OKAY TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS OF GRIEF AND MISSING MY MOMMA….AND REMINDING ME THAT THE FRIENDS I HAVE THAT LOVE ME WILL MEET ME THERE.

*LET’S SEE…..IT’S BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE. AND IT WAS YESTERDAY, TOO. FALL IS WONDERFUL.

*I’M SO TIRED OF ALL THE ANTI-MCCAIN AND ANTI-OBAMA ADS, BOOKS, ETC…OUT THERE. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO PEOPLE JUST SAYING, “HEY, THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR ME….”…..INSTEAD OF LASHING OUT? AND BOTH SIDES ARE GUILTY OF THIS. IT GIVES ME A HEADACHE. AND IT’S SO OBVIOUS THAT WHAT THEY SAY TO ATTACK EACH OTHER IS NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH, THEY JUST TAKE OUT WHAT THEY KNOW WILL MAKE THE OTHER LOOK BAD, AND LEAVE OUT THE REST OF THE TRUTH. AYAYAY.

*WE GOT A NEW EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM DARRYL’S PARENTS…..A VIDEO CAMERA!! I LOVE IT. IT DOES BOTH PICTURES AND VIDEO, AND IT TAKES SOME GOOD SHOTS. MY FAVORITE THING IS THAT YOU CAN JUST HOOK IT RIGHT UP TO THE T.V. AND LOOK AT ALL THE PICS ON THERE!! WOW!! I WAS AMAZED. I’M SURE THIS HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE, BUT WE HARDLY EVER GET TO BUY NEW FANCY TECHNOLOGICAL STUFF…..SO THIS CAMERA IS THE STUFF IN MY OPINION!! AND WHEN I FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT PICS ON THE COMPUTER…..I’LL POST SOME.

*ANOTHER THING I DID OVER THE WEEKEND WAS GET MY EYES CHECKED, FINALLY!!! YAY!! IT HAD BEEN TWO YEARS I HAD GONE FOR MY CONTACTS, AND I THINK FIVE YEARS SINCE I'D BEEN FOR MY GLASSES. SO, I GOT GLASSES AND CONTACTS. AND YES, MY EYES WERE A BIT WORSE. I LIKE MY GLASSES, AND DARRYL SAID THEY REMIND HIM OF MY NEICE'S GLASSES.....ROCK ON!! WE HAVE SOME GOOD TASTE!! :)

*MY SWEET, SWEET, SWEET FRIEND REBECCA HAS AN EXCITING WEEK AHEAD!!!!!!!!! WE’RE PRAYING FOR YOU!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

*I MISS MY FRIENDS EXTREMELY TODAY. MY HEART WANTS TO BE WITH THEM!!! LOVE YOU, PEOPLE!!!

THINGS TO SHARE.

*WE FINALLY TOOK THE BEAN TO SEE “KUNG-FU PANDA”….WHICH HE CALLS “COME-FWEEN PANDA’…..HEHEHE. HE SPEAKS CLEARLY, HE JUST THINKS THAT’S WHAT THE MOVIE WAS CALLED. AFTERWARDS, I SAID, “SO, WHAT WAS YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE MOVIE?”……”WHEN THE PANDA SAID, ‘SKADOOOSH’!”….HAHAHA.

*WE GOT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY SISTER AND HER FAMILY LAST NIGHT, WHICH WAS OF COURSE FUN. WE LOVE LIVING NEAR THEM. THANKS FOR THE PORK CHOPS, SISTER! AND THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT, I FEEL SPECIAL!!

*IT WAS CHILLY OUTSIDE THIS MORNING, SO I GOT TO SPORT MY NEW COAT…….I LOVE MY COAT! BUT I STILL LOVE THAT OLD LEOPARD PRINT ONE, TRUST ME, SHE’LL STILL GET WORN, TOO.

*I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR MY BIG BIRTHDAY BASH. IT’LL BE WEIRD (AS MY SISTER AND I TALKED LAST NIGHT, HER BIRTHDAY WAS JUST A FEW DAYS AGO…) NOT HEARING MY MOMMA’S VOICE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. SHE ALWAYS CALLED EARLY TO TELL ME….SHE WAS ALWAYS THE FIRST TO CALL ALL OF US. I WAS BORN AT 1:11 A.M., SO THERE WERE EVEN TIMES SHE’D CALL ME THEN!! OH MY GOODNESS, I MISS THAT WOMAN SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT. I’D GIVE ANYTHING TO HEAR HER VOICE THAT MORNING.

*I FIGURED SOMETHING OUT THE OTHER DAY THAT REALLY PUTS QUITE SIMPLY THE WAY PEOPLE TREAT OTHERS WHO ARE HURTING. I WAS WATCHING AN EPOSIDE OF A SITCOM WHERE THE DAUGHTER IS REALLY SAD, AND SHE WAS TALKING TO HER FATHER. THE FATHER SAID, “HEY LISTEN, YOU CAN GO BE ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED SOMEWHERE ELSE, BECAUSE WHEN YOU’RE AROUND ME, YOU START MAKING ME DEPRESSED!”…………IT WAS QUITE CHILLING. IT REALLY PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO BE AROUND OTHERS WHO ARE HURTING, BECAUSE THEY JUST MIGHT HURT, THEMSELVES…..SO THEY SHUT THEM OUT. WHICH IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT JESUS DID. (HEAVEN FORBID WE ACTUALLY “FEEL” THE PAIN THAT OTHERS ARE FEELING, RIGHT?!?!) LORD FORGIVE ME FOR THE TIMES THAT I’VE DONE THE SAME. HELP ME SEE OTHERS THROUGH YOUR EYES, AND NOT MY OWN.

*I. CAN’T. STAND. PUTTING. LAUNDRY. AWAY. NOTICE I SAID “PUTTING IT AWAY”…. I LOVE WASHING THEM, DRYING THEM, FOLDING THEM, EVEN PUTTING THEM ON HANGERS. BUT THAT LAST STEP JUST ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY OF MY DAY!!! ARGHHHHHHH.

*I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT WHEN WE WERE AT THE FALL FESTIVAL THINGY-MA-JIG LAST WEEKEND, THERE WAS A LIL' PETTING ZOO WITH BUNNIES AND POT-BELLIED PIGS. DARRYL PICKED UP THE BABY PIG FOR DYLAN TO PET IT, IT WAS SO CUTE. DYLAN HAD A WONDERFUL TIME RUNNING AFTER ALL OF THEM, AND HE FINALLY CAUGHT THE BUNNY.....WHICH LOOKED QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE.....BUT HE CAUGHT HIM AND SHOUTED, "LOOK, I GOT HIM, I GOT HIM!!!"......IT WAS SO CUTE.

*I’VE ALWAYS BEEN OBSESSED WITH ORGANIZING THINGS. MY RECENT LOVE IS THE LITTLE SHOE HANGY THINGIES. (LIKE HOW I CALLED ‘EM THAT?) YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, THE ONES YOU HANG ON THE BACK OF A DOOR AND YOU PUT YOUR SHOES IN THEM? THEY ARE SEE THROUGH THINGS YOU PUT ON YOUR DOOR AND THEY HAVE POCKETS!!!!!! POCKETS, POCKETS, POCKETS!!!!!!!! THERE ARE NOW THREE THROUGHOUT MY HOUSE. AND TWO LITTLE ONES IN THE SCHOOLROOM. I LOVE THEM. THE ONE IN THE BATHROOM IS PERFECT FOR HAIRSPRAY, DEODORANT, TOOTHPASTE, MOUTHWASH, TOILET PAPER, CONTACTS, GLASSES, ETC…… I EVEN PUT ONE IN THE KITCHEN ON THE FRONT OF OUR LAUNDRY ROOM DOOR, AND PUT THINGS LIKE BAGGIES, SMALL PAPER PLATES, RICE, BEANS, LIL’ TREATS, COOKING UTENSILS……OH MY GOODNESS, I’M OBSESSED WITH THEM. ANYTHING THAT ORGANIZES OUR STUFF AND MAKES THE HOUSE ROOMIER, I’M A SUCKER FOR!!! QUICK, GO GET ONE OF THESE….OR TWO!!! IT’LL MAKE LIFE JUST A BIT SWEETER. DON’T YOU JUST LOVE THE LIL’ THINGS IN LIFE?!?!?. ;)

MY HEART ACHES IN SUCH A WAY TODAY
A WORD TO DESCRIBE IT, I CAN’T FIND.
THE WORLD IS DIFFERENT NOW, NOT AS BRIGHT,
MOMMA…SINCE YOU LEFT US ALL BEHIND.

THERE’S SUCH AN EMPTINESS, A VOID
THAT ANOTHER WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO FILL.
I’M SO HAPPY WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS….
THEN I WAKE UP TO WHAT’S REAL.

SOME DAYS I DON’T WANT TO GET UP AT ALL…
I JUST WANT TO PRETEND IT’S ALL A DREAM
I WANT TO TURN BACK THOSE HUGE HANDS OF TIME
I THINK THAT’D BE BETTER….SO IT SEEMS.

RAINBOWS AREN’T AS SWEET NOW,
HUGS STILL SEEM SO BARE TO ME…
THE FLOWERS AREN’T AS BEAUTIFUL
SINCE I DON’T HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME.

I SEE YOUR FACE IN EVERY PERSON
YET I SEE YOU NOWHERE.
I KEEP HOPING AND PRAYING SOMEHOW
I CAN OVERCOME THIS DESPAIR.

BUT I KNOW THAT I’LL CARRY YOU WITH ME,
JUST AS I’LL CONTINUE TO CARRY THE GRIEF.
AND I KNOW THAT AT THE END OF ALL THINGS
WE’LL BE REUNITED, AND I’LL HAVE RELIEF.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU TOUCHED,
HOW YOU BROUGHT HOPE AND LAUGHTER TO US ALL…
MOMMA, I’LL BE MISSING YOU EVERY WINTER AND SPRING,
THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER AND THE FALL.

SO AS I PLOUGH THROUGH EACH DAY WITHOUT YOU,
THOUGH PART OF ME WILL ALWAYS BE EMPTY…
I’LL BE CARRYING A PART OF YOU AROUND,
UNTIL YOUR FACE AGAIN I SEE.

I STILL NEED MY MOMMA, I NEED YOU SO MUCH…
JUST ANY OTHER MOTHER FIGURE WON’T DO.
I’M STILL A LITTLE GIRL,
AND I’LL STILL ALWAYS NEED YOU.

JESSICA SCHAFER October 6, 2008

FUN FALL THINGS.

*WE GOT TO GO SEE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE FRIENDS IN A NEARBY CITY YESTERDAY, AND IT WAS SOME MUCH NEEDED TIME. WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!! IT’S KINDA HARD SOMETIMES, LIVING AWAY FROM ALL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. SO WE NEEDED THIS TIME, AND I HOPE THEY ENJOYED IT, TOO!!

*WE ALL WENT TO A CUTE LIL’ PLACE TOGETHER THAT WE THOUGHT DYLAN WOULD ENJOY. BUT I THINK I LIKED IT MORE THAN HE DID!! WE GOT TO DO A HAYRIDE, AND HE EVEN GOT TO RIDE A LIL’ PONY. IT WAS ADORABLE. INSTEAD OF A CORN MAZE, THEY HAD A “HAY MAIZE”…SO IT WASN’T TOO HARD, BUT DARRYL SAID, “DOES IT COUNT IF I CAN SEE OVER IT?!?!”…HAHAHA. (HE’S 6’8”….SO IT WASN’T THE SAME FOR HIM)

*THEY HAD A HUGE AREA FILLED WITH PUMPKINS, SQUASH, MAIZE, AND ALL KINDS OF ODD LOOKING GOURDS….SO DYLAN HAD A BLAST RUNNING AROUND FINDING THE PERFECT LIL’ PUMPKIN…..WE HAD HIM PICK ONLY A LIL’ ONE, BECAUSE WE’LL BUY THE BIG ONE LATER TO CARVE.

*NEEDLESS TO SAY, SEEING AUNT NANNY WARMED MY LIL’ PEA-PICKIN’ HEART. I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!

*MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP, AND SOME OF YOU GUESSED AT MY AGE. GOOD GUESSES, BY THE WAY. I CAN’T REMEMBER IF ANYONE GUESSED THE RIGHT ONE, THOUGH. I’LL BE THE BIG 28!! WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT 28 WOULD FEEL SO YOUNG. I SWEAR, I STILL FEEL LIKE I’M TWENTY YEARS OLD. NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED, EXCEPT FOR THE LOVELY STRETCH MARKS FROM MY HANDSOME LIL’ SON. (BY THE WAY, I’LL BE MISSING MY MOMMA EXTRA THIS WHOLE WEEK LEADING UP TO MY BIRTHDAY, SO IF YOU THINK OF IT, PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ME. I’D REALLY APPRECIATE IT.)

*DYLAN LOVES TO HELP ME PICK UP AROUND THE HOUSE. HE ALWAYS HAS TWO CHORES WHEN WE CLEAN UP, 1: GATHER ALL RANDOM DIRTY CLOTHES (MOSTLY HIS UNDIES AND HIS DADDY’S SOCKS) AND PUT THEM IN A PILE. 2: ROUND UP ALL HIS BOOKS AND STACK THEM TOGETHER. THE OTHER DAY, HE WAS SPORTIN’ HIS WHITE BUTTON-DOWN DOCTOR COAT AND HAD ALL THE OTHER DOCTOR GEAR ON, AND I ASKED HIM TO HELP MOMMY PICK UP. HE QUICKLY SAID, “MOMMY, I’M A DOCTOR, DOCTOR’S DON’T DO LAUNDRY!”……..”UH, YES THEY DO. THEY DO WHAT THEIR MOMMAS SAY OR THEY WILL CERTAINLY HAVE TO SIT IN TIME OUT.”………IT WAS SO HARD NOT TO CRACK UP LAUGHING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. CLEVER LIL’ THANG.

*FALL IS HERE. IT SMELLS “CRISP” OUTSIDE. I NEED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED, I’LL NEVER SAY ONLINE HOW RIDICULOUSLY LONG IT’S BEEN…..IT’S THE REASON I CONSTANTLY HAVE HEADACHES. JUST PLAIN SILLY THAT I HAVEN’T GONE YET. I’LL DO THAT SOON…..WHEN I HAVE SOME SPARE TIME……WHICH MEANS I’LL PROBABLY NEVER GO.

READY FOR GOOD.

TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT HAS NOT BEEN SO GREAT….
IT’S BEEN FILLED WITH SORROW AND PAIN.
I’M WAITING, I’M HOPING FOR SOMETHING GOOD.
PLEASE LORD, STOP SENDING THE RAIN.

LIFE HAS BEEN FILLED WITH TRIALS AND SORROW
FOR ME, THIS YEAR WAS SO FULL OF SADNESS.
HOW I LONG FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING GOOD, LORD
HOW I PRAY YOU’LL FILL MY LIFE WITH GLADNESS.

I KNOW ULTIMATELY IN THE END YOU WILL STOP
THE PAIN, HEARTACHES, WORRIES, AND TEARS.
BUT HOW I KEEP PRAYING AND WISHING AND HOPING
THAT RIGHT NOW YOU’LL CALM MY PAIN AND MY FEARS.

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER DAY, FATHER,
WAITING FOR SOMETHING GOOD TO COME MY WAY…
HOW LONG, O LORD, HOW LONG WILL I WAIT?
WON’T YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING TODAY?

AND NOT ONLY FOR ME DO I CRY “MARANATHA!”..
I CRY THAT FOR PEOPLE ALL AROUND THAT I SEE…
THE HEARTACHE, THE DEATH, THE POVERTY, SADNESS…
I CRY TO YOU, LORD, ANSWER MY PLEA!!!

SO MANY THINGS IN LIFE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER,
SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN IN SPITE OF US…
PLEASE, LORD, COME AND DO SOMETHING GOOD,
FOR IT’S ONLY IN YOU I CAN TRUST.

YOU KNOW I’LL FOLLOW LORD, WHEREVER YOU LEAD,
BUT I DON’T THINK I CAN MUCH LONGER TAKE
THE GRIEF, THE SORROW, THE PAIN, THE HURT
PLEASE COME NOW, FOR YOUR NAME’S SAKE.

PLEASE COME LORD, DON’T TARRY-
HASTEN TO ME. YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I FOLLOW BEHIND.
PLEASE BRING NEW HOPE AND LIFE TO YOUR CHILDREN..
PLEASE COME IN TWO THOUSAND AND NINE.

I’M NOT SURE, LORD WHY YOU DO SOME THINGS
I’M NOT SURE WHAT MAKES YOU DECIDE…
WHO GOES AND WHO STAYS, WHO HAS TO HAVE PAIN…
SOME DAYS I STILL JUST WANT TO HIDE.

STILL I KNOW YOU HOLD THE POWER OF LIFE
IN THE VERY PALM OF YOUR HAND…
I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME, I KNOW THAT YOU’RE HERE,
BUT SOMETIMES I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

I’M READY FOR RAINBOWS, ALL FULL OF HOPE.
I’M READY FOR SOME GOOD AROUND ME.
AND NOT ONLY FOR ME, FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS…
PLEASE, LORD JESUS, BRING US HARMONY.

JESSICA SCHAFER October 2, 2008

2 FOR 1.

"TODAY I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT YOU!"

I JUST CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYMORE!
YOU’RE TAKING OVER MY LIFE-
PLEASE STOP COMING AROUND HERE,
ALL YOU CREATE IS STRIFE!!!

YOU UPSET ME ON A DAILY BASIS,
TAKING UP SO MUCH OF MY TIME,
AND I CAN’T SEEM TO HANDLE YOU,
YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME RUN BEHIND!

PLEASE STOP TAKING OVER ME,
I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE I LOOK!!
I CAN NEVER REST, NEVER NAP,
OR HEAVEN FORBID I READ A BOOK!

I CAN’T SEEM TO GET A HANDLE ON YOU-
YOU’RE ALWAYS FILTHY, NEVER CLEAN…
AND YOU’RE NEVER NICE TO ME,
YOU ALWAYS SEEM SO MEAN.

SO AS I CONTINUE TO WASH YOU ALL,
AND DRY YOU, FOLD YOU, HANG YOU, TOO
PLEASE REMEMBER I DESPISE YOU!!
TODAY I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT YOU!!!

JESSICA SCHAFER 09-30-08





"DON'T BLINK"

THE JOY THAT OVERWHELMS YOU IS
AT MOMENTS HARD TO DESCRIBE.
YOU’D BE RICH IF YOU HAD A PENNY FOR
EACH TIME THAT YOU CRIED.

EACH AND EVERY DAY YOU SEE
IS FILLED WITH SUCH SUNLIGHT.
AND EVERY MOMENT FILLED WITH LOVE
AS YOU TUCK HIM IN AT NIGHT.

THOSE BIG BROWN EYES WILL MELT YOU
THAT LIL’ SMILE WILL TOUCH YOUR HEART
YOU’LL WONDER HOW TIME HAS MOVED SO
QUICKLY TO NOW FROM THE START.

THOSE LITTLE LAUGHS WILL TAKE YOU
TO PLACES YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO.
AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,
YOU’LL HOPE HE STAYS WITH YOU.

BUT JUST AS THE SEASONS BRING CHANGE,
SO THAT LIL’ ONE WILL CHANGE EACH DAY…
CHERISH THE TOYS, THE SCRAPED KNEES, THE CRIES,
YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

HOLD ONTO EACH MOMENT WITH LOVE,
LIVE IN THE DAYS GOD GIVES YOU.
ENJOY TIME WITH THIS LITTLE ONE AND TRUST ME-
DON’T BLINK, BECAUSE LIFE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

THE DISHES CAN WAIT, SO CAN MOPPING,
IF THE LAUNDRY PILES UP-IT’S OKAY!
JUST GIVE THAT LIL’ ONE KISSES AND HUGS,
AND HOLD ONTO HIM WHILE YOU HAVE TODAY!!

JESSICA SCHAFER October 1, 2008

'TIS ANOTHER RANDOM POST.

*MY BABY TURNED FOUR. HE’S GROUNDED NOW. HE ASKED ME IN CHURCH SUNDAY MORNING, “MOMMA, AM I FOUR NOW?”……..”YES, BABY, YOU ARE!”……HE LOOKED DOWN AT HIS LEGS AND HIS FEET AND QUICKLY LOOKED UP AT ME AND SAID, “BUT MOMMA, I’M NOT BIGGER, I DON’T SEE THAT I’M ANY BIGGER.”……”MOMMY SEES IT, YOU ARE…” DANGIT. THIS GROWING UP THING CAN JUST RIP A MOMMA’S HEART RIGHT OUT.

*WHY DON’T THEY MAKE PRETTY BRAS FOR WOMEN WHO WEAR MORE THAN A *CERTAIN* CUP SIZE? THAT ERKS ME TO NO END!!! I MAY NOT BE IN A SMALL CUP, BUT I STILL WANT A CUTE OVER-THE-SHOULDER-BOULDER-HOLDER…..

*I’M SO TIRED OF THE LACK OF EXPECTATION THAT RULES THE BODY OF CHRIST…THERE’S THE MINDSET OF “WELL, YOU’RE GONNA MESS UP, DO IT ANYWAY, GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU….”…..AND IT TOTALLY CHEAPENS THE GRACE THAT HE OFFERS US….IT SEEMS TO ME THAT SO OFTEN HIS OWN CHILDREN ARE MOCKING WHAT HE DID FOR EVERYONE THAT DAY ON THE CROSS.

*CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ARE EVERYWHERE…AND IT’S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET. LAST YEAR I WAS VERY EAGER FOR DECORATING…..THIS YEAR IS A WHOLE NEW SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

*EVER FELT LIKE LIFE WAS JUST BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU? FOR MORE THAN A DAY, A WEEK, A MONTH….FOR QUITE SOME TIME? WELCOME TO THE CLUB. YOU’RE IN GOOD COMPANY. DON’T TAKE TO HEART WHAT SOME PEOPLE MAY SAY TO YOU….PUTTING A HAPPY FACE ON DESPERATE CIRCUMSTANCES DOESN’T FIX LIFE…….JESUS HIMSELF DIDN’T TAKE THAT APPROACH WITH PEOPLE!! DON’T LET WHAT OTHERS SAY DISCOURAGE YOU. READ THE SCRIPTURES…..CRYING OUT TO GOD IN DISTRESS,QUESTIONING WHERE HE IS, FEELING ABANDONED, LONELY, HOPELESS….IT’S ALL THROUGHOUT THE VERY BOOK HE GAVE US. KEEP HOPE IN HIM………..HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL LISTEN WITHOUT MOCKING WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH. MARANATHA.

*AGAIN, TO A LIGHTER SUBJECT…….MY SWEET, HANDSOME HUSBAND BOUGHT ME THE MOST ADORABLE LIL’ JEAN JACKET. I CAN’T WAIT FOR IT TO GET COLD SO I CAN WEAR IT. IT’S A LONG JEAN COAT, COMES ABOUT TO MY KNEES, AND HAS TWO BIG BUTTONS RIGHT AT THE FRONT AT THE WAISTLINE. ADORABLE. HE LIKES TO BUY ME THINGS…..I LIKE TO RECEIVE THOSE THINGS. ;)

*I’VE BEEN READING THE MOST AMAZING BOOK, IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A GOOD READ, IT’S CALLED “THE YEAR OF LIVING BIBLICALLY; ONE MAN’S HUMBLE QUEST TO FOLLOW THE BIBLE AS LITERALLY AS POSSIBLE” BY A.J. JACOBS. IT’S A FASCINATING READ.

*SOMEONE WHO WRITES ON THIS BLOG HAS A BIRTHDAY SOON…….IF YOU CAN GUESS HOW OLD I WILL BE, YOU WILL GET A PRIZE. BUT I’M NOT SURE WHAT THAT PRIZE IS……….OR IF YOU’LL GET IT…….MAYBE THIS IS JUST A SHAMELESS PLOY TO GET SOME COMMENT LOVE. : ) YOU KNOW YOU, TOO, LOVE A COMMENT!

DECEMBER.

THERE’S SO MUCH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND,
MY CHILD, BUT PLEASE REMEMBER.
I WAS THERE WITH YOU AND HER EACH MOMENT
THAT YOU ALL WENT THROUGH IN DECEMBER.

I WAS THERE IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY TOO,
AS YOU REMEMBERED HER BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
IN MARCH AND APRIL, I WAS THERE STILL AS
THE PAIN FELT LIKE A KNIFE.

IN MAY AND JUNE AS THE MONTHS TURNED
HOTTER, MY COMFORT HAS STILL BEEN THERE.
AND I KNOW, MY CHILD, AT MOMENTS YOU’VE
FELT YOU CAN’T FIND ME ANYWHERE.

AS THE YEAR HAS PASSED, AND YOU’VE
CRIED AND MOURNED, I’VE NOT LEFT YOU ALONE.
I’VE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL, MY DAUGHTER
YOU CAN BE SURE I’VE NEVER GONE.

FROM JULY TO AUGUST WHEN THE WARM DAYS
DREW CLOSER TO A LONGER, COLDER NIGHT…
I HOPE YOU HAVE REMEMBERED MY LOVE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SHINING LIGHT.

WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS LEADING TO OCTOBER
THE FALLING LEAVES WILL COVER THE EARTH.
I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO GIVE THANKS TO ME,
THROUGH ALL THE HEARTACHE, ALL THE HURT.

GIVE THANKS THROUGH YOUR SORROW, YOUR
QUESTIONS AND DOUBT…DON’T WORRY I CAN HANDLE IT ALL.
AND REMEMBER I’M STILL THERE, I’LL NEVER LEAVE
EVEN ALL THROUGH THE CHANGES OF FALL.

WHEN NOVEMBER PASSES, BRINGING DECEMBER AGAIN,
REMINDING YOU OF HER SWEET HEART,
THROUGH YOUR PAIN AND YOUR TEARS, FRUSTRATION
AND FEARS, REMEMBER I’VE BEEN HERE SINCE THE START.

THOUGH I CAN’T GIVE YOU REASONS OF WHY
I CHOOSE THE PLANS THAT HAPPEN AROUND YOU,
REMEMBER THOUGH LIFE’S HARD AT TIMES, I’LL NEVER
LEAVE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE WITH YOU, TOO.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER NOW,
AS YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE
IN THAT WORLD YOU’RE IN FULL OF WORRIES
AND FEARS….SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER NOW, SHE’S FREE.

THOUGH YOU MAY GET ANGRY AT MOMENTS, THAT’S
FINE…I CAN HANDLE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU FEEL…
JUST COME TO ME EVERYTIME YOU’RE HURTING,
DON’T PRETEND WITH ME, BE REAL.

AS LIFE CONTINUES ON DOWN THE ROAD,
YOU CAN COUNT ON THE CHANGES I’LL BRING.
JUST COME TO ME, REMEMBER I’M HERE,
ONE DAY SOON WITH ME YOU’LL SING.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 25, 2008

LOOKING FOR HOPE?

THINK THERE’S NOTHING WRONG IN THIS WORLD?
THINK EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE?
TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
OR TAKE A LOOK IN MINE.

EVEN IF THINGS SEEM JUST PEACHY FOR YOU
EVEN IF THINGS ARE ALRIGHT.
DON’T LET YOUR HEAD HIT THAT PILLOW OF YOURS
UNTIL YOU’VE PRAYED FOR OTHERS TONIGHT.

LIFE IS HARD TO HANDLE SOMETIMES,
FULL OF QUESTIONS, FEARS, AND DOUBT…
SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS PROBABLY HURTING…
BE A FRIEND TO THEM; HELP THEM OUT.

IF IT’S YOU THAT’S DEALING WITH PAIN SOMEHOW,
REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
THOUGH YOU STRUGGLE, YOU’RE WEAK AND WEARY
YOUR FATHER IS WITH YOU, HE’S NOT GONE.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HOPE? HE GIVES IT.
ARE YOU NEEDING A FRIEND? HE’S THERE.
ARE YOU NEEDY, ABANDONED AND BROKEN?
HE’LL BE WITH YOU, WHISPER A PRAYER.

THOUGH IT FEELS HE’S FORGOTTEN YOU, HE’S NOT.
THOUGH TRAGEDY MAY BE AROUND YOU.
FOR SOME REASON-WE HAVE NOT THE ANSWER…
EVEN IN YOUR PAIN, HIS LOVE IS TRUE.

HOLD ONTO HIM WHEN LIFE CHANGES,
NOTHING ELSE WILL TRULY SATISFY.
HE’LL BE THERE WHEN YOU LAUGH AND REJOICE,
AND ALSO WHEN YOU MOURN AND CRY.

NO OTHER CAN LOVE WITHOUT WAVERING,
NO OTHER PERSON OR THING WILL EVER DO.
CRY TO HIM, SHOUT TO HIM, HE’S THERE…
AND HE’LL ALWAYS SAY, “I LOVE YOU.”

JESSICA SCHAFER September 24, 2008

2 SETS OF 7'S

7 THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME.

1. TRAGEDY HAPPENS…AND WE HAVE TO KEEP MOVING, SOMEHOW, IN SPITE OF IT.

2. BEING A WIFE AND MOMMA IS AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL.

3. GOD WILL DO WHAT HE WANTS IN HIS TIME, REGARDLESS OF MY AGENDA.

4. TRUE FRIENDSHIPS CAN GET ONE THROUGH AN AWFUL LOT OF HEARTACHE THAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU.

5. GOD LOVES ME, IN SPITE OF HOW HARD I TRY TO EARN HIS LOVE.

6. THOUGH I MAY NOT SEE IT, MY HUSBAND THINKS I’M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER.

7. IGNORING REALITY DOES NOT CHANGE IT.



7 CONFESSIONS.

1. I WORRY TOO MUCH.

2. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO WORRY, BUT I STILL DO.

3. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY DON’T LIKE CHANGE.

4. I DON’T MIND CLEANING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, BUT I CANNOT STAND FOLDING AND PUTTING LAUNDRY AWAY. I LOVE TO WASH IT, DRY IT, AND EVEN HANG STUFF UP……BUT I CANNOT STAND FOLDING AND PUTTING AWAY…..SO IT OFTEN PILES UP ON OUR GUEST BED. AND I DON’T CARE!!! IT’S STILL CLEAN!!

5. I TEND TO THINK I CAN SHOULDER THE WORLD’S BURDENS….AND THAT’S NOT MY PLACE…NOR WILL IT EVER BE.

6. IT ANNOYS ME TO NO END WHEN PEOPLE USE “I’M JUST SAYING WHAT’S TRUE” AS AN EXCUSE TO BE RUDE, JUDGMENTAL, AND INCONSIDERATE.

7. I AM WAY TOO OFTEN GUILT DRIVEN….AND I AM TRYING SO HARD TO GET OUT OF THAT MINDSET.

AN EMPTY, SPINNING CUP.

ON DAYS LIKE THIS I WONDER, LORD
HOW LONG WILL I BE HERE?
HOW LONG WILL I FEEL ABANDONED
AND OVERTAKEN WITH FEAR?

FEAR THAT LIFE WON’T CHANGE FOR
THE BETTER, BUT WILL ONLY STAY THE SAME.
FEAR THAT MY DREAMS WILL NOT HAPPEN,
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CALL ON YOUR NAME.

I WONDER, LORD WHERE ARE YOU?
WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO AIR?
ARE YOU STILL THERE, ARE YOU LISTENING?
I CAN’T FIND YOU ANYWHERE.

I’VE BEEN CRYING FOR SO LONG NOW,
MY MIND IS FILLED WITH DOUBT…
I WONDER IF YOU’LL DO SOMETHING, GOD…
WILL YOU COME AND HELP US OUT?

AN EMPTY, SPINNING, CUP AM I,
I’VE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE ANYMORE…
I KEEP LOOKING, I KEEP WAITING FOR YOU
TO COME WALKING THROUGH MY DOOR.

I NEED YOU, LORD, EVERYDAY…
I NEED YOUR MERCY AND GRACE.
EVEN MORE WHILE I’M IN THIS DESERT…
AND IT SEEMS I’M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR FACE.

THOUGH LIFE CONTINUES TO BRING
SO MANY TRIALS, SORROWS, AND TEARS.
I’LL KEEP WAITING, I’LL KEEP HOPING,
AND I’LL KEEP HANDING YOU MY FEARS.

EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS SO HOPELESS,
THOUGH I FEEL SO ALL ALONE…
I’LL KEEP HOLDING ON TO THE WORDS YOU SAID…
THAT THIS PLACE IS NOT MY HOME.

I WILL FOLLOW, I WILL SERVE YOU
I’LL STILL HOPE THOUGH YOU SLAY ME…
I’LL HOLD STEADFAST TO YOUR WORDS, LORD…
THOUGH ALL WILL CHANGE AROUND ME.

YOUR WORD TELLS ME YOU ARE HERE,
I WILL REMEMBER THAT EVERDAY…
THOUGH EVERYTHING AROUND ME TRIES
TO MAKE ME DOUBT YOUR WAY.

I PUT MY TRUST IN NO MAN,
MONEY IS NOT WHERE MY HOPE LIES.
I’LL KEEP RUNNING AFTER YOU, JESUS…
AND ON YOU I’LL KEEP MY EYES.

JESSICA SCHAFER September 22, 2008

THIS IS HOW IT WORKS IN OUR HOUSE.

ME: I AM 5’3”….(ALRIGHT, I’M 5’1’, BUT I LIKE TO CLAIM TWO IMAGINARY INCHES….) I DIET CONSTANTLY, I’M CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT WHAT I’M EATING, I EAT SUPER HEALTHY, I DRINK 8-10 GLASSES OF WATER A DAY…I HARDLY EVER EAT SWEETS. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I’LL HAVE A SODA. IF I GAIN FIVE POUNDS, I HAVE TO BUY NEW JEANS....BEING SHORT STINKS. (DARRYL SAYS I'M NOT SHORT, I'M "FUN SIZE) I CAN WORK MY REAR OFF, DOING WEIGHT WATCHERS, EXERCISING, AND MAYBE I’LL LOSE 5 POUNDS IN TWO OR THREE WEEKS. I CAN LOOK AT A PIECE OF CAKE AND GAIN 30 POUNDS. I LITERALLY HAVE TO EXERCISE LIKE A MAD WOMAN IF I WANT TO LOSE EVEN A TINY BIT.

THE OTHER PART OF ME: MY HUSBAND IS 6’7”. HE IS SLENDER, VERY GOOD BUILD. HE CAN GAIN A TON OF WEIGHT AND STILL WEAR THE SAME SIZE JEANS. (BECAUSE HE’S SO TALL, IF HE GAINS, IT JUST STRETCHES OUT OVER ALL THAT HEIGHT.) HE CAN LOOK AT A SALAD AND LOSE WEIGHT. HE EATS WHAT HE WANTS, WHEN HE WANTS, DRINKS SODA WHENEVER HE WANTS, EATS MORE SWEETS THAN ANYONE I’VE KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE (BESIDES MY DADDY)…RIGHT NOW THERE’S A CHOCOLATE CAKE IN OUR KITCHEN THAT HE’S DEVOURED MOSTLY BY HIMSELF………..I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER ONE WEEK. (ONE WEEK…..REMEMBER THAT) HE WENT TO THE GYM TWICE. HE STILL ATE WHATEVER HE WANTED, DIDN’T MODIFY HIS DIET AT ALL. AT THE END OF THE WEEK (WHILE I WAS STILL DIETING, HOPING TO MAYBE LOSE AN OUNCE…) HE WEIGHED HIMSELF AND LOST 13 POUNDS. THAT’S JUST JACKED UP. I THINK I LOST 2.

SOME DAYS, I JUST WANT TO SMACK HIM BECAUSE OF HIS GENETIC BUILD!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE. BUT I AM SO JEALOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THE WAY YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT.

YOU KNOW THAT CARTOON COMMERCIAL WHERE THE COUPLE IS SITTING ON THE COUCH, AND SHE COMPLAINS THAT HE STOPPED DRINKING SODA AND LOST A TON, AND SHE STOPPED AND HER BOOBS SHRANK…….YEAH, I CAN VERY MUCH EMPATHIZE WITH THAT. (MINE HAVEN'T SHRUNK YET...BUT I'M SURE IT'LL HAPPEN BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE DOES!!)

THOUGHTS.

1. MY FRIEND RECENTLY TRAVELLED TO JAPAN THIS SUMMER, AND BROUGHT US BACK LOTS O’ GOODIES. ONE OF THE GIFTS WAS RED CHOPSTICKS!! I’VE LOVED USING THEM TO PUT MY HAIR UP WITH.

2. FALL HAS ARRIVED. I’M SOOOOOOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR FAMILY GOING TO A CORN MAZE…..(GET IT, CORN “MAIZE”….) ALTHOUGH, I’M AFRAID I MIGHT FREAK OUT. CORN FIELDS HAVE A TENDENCY TO DO THAT TO ME.

3. I LOVE HOMESCHOOLING. IT HAS BEEN WORKING VERY WELL FOR OUR FAMILY. I KNOW IT’S NOT FOR EVERYONE, AND IT SHOULDN’T BE (JUST LIKE OTHER THINGS IN LIFE)…BUT I’M SO GLAD GOD HAS ALLOWED THIS FOR OUR FAMILY, ESPECIALLY FOR THIS TIME. I CAN’T IMAGINE HAVING TO SEND DYLAN OFF TO SCHOOL ALL DAY AT HIS AGE, ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS PAST WINTER. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TORTURE TO DO THAT THIS FALL. I’M SO GLAD THAT AMIDST THE SORROW AND TRAGEDY THAT HAPPENS IN LIFE, GOD LAYS SOME THINGS OUT BEFORE WE EVEN KNOW THE “WHY’S”.

4. I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH “OVER THE RHINE”. IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR GOOD MUSIC, GET ONE OF THEIR ALBUMS!! “TRUMPET CHILD” AND “SNOW ANGELS ARE AMAZING.

5. PUMPKIN CANDLES ARE HEAVEN. PUMPKIN CREAMER IS, TOO.

6. I AM SO TIRED OF THE POLITICS IN THIS COUNTRY. PLEASE, IF YOU VOTE, MAKE AN EDUCATED DECISION. DON’T JUST PICK ONE THING THAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU….THERE ARE OTHER THINGS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY THAT NEED ATTENTION. ONE PARTY SAYS, “WE’RE AGAINST ABORTION”….YET THEY ARE FOR STIFFENING THE DEATH PENALTY, FOR MORE WAR, AND FOR MAKING THE RICH RICHER, AND KEEPING THE POOR WHERE THEY ARE…..THAT’S HARDLY PRO-LIFE!!! THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR MURDER, PEOPLE!!! THE DEATH PENALTY EQUALS KILLING, THE WAR EQUALS KILLING…….IT’S NOT JUST ANTI-ABORTION THAT SAVES LIVES!!! DON’T LET ONE ISSUE SWAY YOU. KNOW WHO YOU’RE BACKING AND WHY. IF YOU’RE PRO-LIFE, BE PRO-LIFE IN ALL ASPECTS, NOT JUST THE ABORTION ISSUE. *ALSO, THE PARTY THAT’S NOT TOOTING THE HORN “PRO-LIFE” IS NOT “PRO-DEATH”….THEY JUST BELIEVE IT’S A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO DECIDE FOR HERSELF. THEY ARE FOR ENDING THE WAR. THEY ARE ALSO FOR HELPING OUT THE PEOPLE WHO NEED HELP FINANCIALLY, YOU KNOW, THOSE SILLY LITTLE THINGS LIKE GIVING FOOD TO THE POOR, SHELTER, AND HEALTH INSURANCE….WHICH ARE ALL HUGE ISSUES FOR MOST AMERICANS LAST TIME I CHECKED!! HOWEVER, THAT SIDE HAS HUGE DOWNFALLS, TOO. IT’S LIKE WE AMERICANS WANT FREEDOM, BUT ONLY TO A POINT. WE DON’T WANT OTHERS TO HAVE THE FREEDOM TO THINK. (WHICH I BELIEVE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY THESE ISSUES WOULDN’T BE AROUND IF THE CHURCH OF AMERICA WOULD DO HER JOB…..IT’S NOT THE GOVERNMENT’S JOB TO USHER IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN...IT’S THE CHURCH’S JOB. PLEASE DON’T DEPEND ON THE GOVERNMENT. OUR HOPE ISN’T IN LEGISLATION. IT’S IN CHRIST AND CHRIST ALONE.) BY THE WAY, I STILL CAN’T, IN TOTALLY GOOD CONSCIENCE, BACK EITHER CANDIDATE AT THIS POINT. I TEND TO SIDE WITH ONE MORE THAN THE OTHER, BUT I STILL CAN’T SEE A BETTER CANDIDATE….AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PALIN ISSUE. I CAN’T BELIEVE ANYONE WOULD HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT THE WAR WE’RE INVOLVED IN IS “A TASK THAT IS FROM GOD”…..IN HER OWN WORDS. ***EDIT: SOMEONE I LOVE BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT THIS QUOTE WAS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT WHEN SHE SAID IT SO, THANK YOU!*** TRUST ME, EITHER PARTY WILL MANIPULATE QUOTES TO THEIR ADVANTAGE, THAT'S BEEN VERY OBVIOUS. THE POINT OF MY RANTING WAS JUST TO PLEAD WITH PEOPLE TO MAKE AN EDUCATED DECISION, KNOW EACH PARTY'S POINTS, KNOW WHAT THEY'RE INTENDING ON CHANGING, DON'T JUST FOLLOW SOMEONE BECAUSE OF ONE ISSUEE....THERE ARE MANY MORE THINGS IN THE COUNTRY THAT NEED FIXED THAN THE MAJOR 2 ISSUES OF MOST CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS......JUST PLEASE MAKE AN EDUCATED DECISION. NOT A DECISION THAT OTHERS AROUND YOU THINK YOU NEED TO MAKE. IF WE, AS A CHURCH, ARE WANTING CHANGE, THEN WE NEED TO BE PRAYING AND DOING (BOTH)….NOT EXPECTING THE GOVERNMENT TO DO SOMETHING……WOW. I TYPED A LOT ON THIS ONE.

7. HUSBAND IS SO EXTREMELY HOT, AND I LOVE HIM. HE'S A KEEPER.

8. MY SON IS WONDERFUL, ALSO A KEEPER. :)

9. I LOVE LIVING NEAR MY SISTER, I WISH THERE WAS MORE TIME FOR US TO DO “SISTER” THINGS!!

10. I MISS MY DADDY, BUT HE WILL BE COMING UP SOON!!!

11. THOMAS BIRTHDAY PARTY COMING UP NEXT WEEKEND……YAY!!!! DYLAN WAS TORN BETWEEN THOMAS AND WALL-E. HE FINALLY DECIDED ON THOMAS…..WELL, AS OF TODAY, ANYWAY.

12. I’M MAKING BAKED OATMEAL FOR DINNER, IT’S SOOOOOOOO GOOD!!

13. I CAN’T WAIT FOR REBECCA TO HOLD HER BABY!!

14. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE JUST FOUND OUT SHE IS PREGNANT!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS, AUNT BEF!!!

15. MY SISTER’S BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY BEFORE DYLAN’S. MY MOMMA AND DADDY’S ANNIVERSARY IS OCTOBER 3RD (WHICH WILL BE EXTERMELY TOUGH FOR DADDY AND US ALL THIS YEAR), MY B-DAY IS OCTOBER 11TH, AND MY NEPHEW’S IS THE 15TH. I CRINGE WHEN I SEE MY NEPHEW’S AGE, BECAUSE I KNOW DYLAN’S NOT FAR BEHIND…..

OVER THE RAINBOW.

THERE MAY BE TEARS, BUT HE’LL WIPE THEM AWAY
NOWHERE ELSE YOU’LL EVER WANT TO GO…
BECAUSE SO MUCH HAPPINESS LIES AHEAD…
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

DEATH DOESN’T HAVE ANY POWER THERE,
AND HOPELESSNESS CAN NEVER TAKE HOLD
BECAUSE SO MUCH JOY AND PEACE ARE THERE
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

NOTHING BUT LOVE WILL ABOUND
THE BEST LOVE YOU’LL EVER KNOW
BECAUSE ALL HATRED HAS BEEN VANQUISHED
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

NO MORE WORRIES, NO MORE CARES
EVIL’S FACE WILL NEVER SHOW
BECAUSE IT’S ALL BEEN DEFEATED THERE
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

LONELINESS, DESPAIR, HATRED, AND POVERTY-
THESE THINGS WILL NOT TAKE HOLD
THEY’RE FINALLY DONE AWAY WITH
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

OUR HOPE IS THIS, IN KNOWING THAT
THERE’S NO BETTER PLACE TO GO…
THOUGH WE LOVE LIFE HERE, WE ANTICIPATE
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

WHAT A DAY IT WILL BE TO SEE
THE BEAUTIFUL CITY PAVED WITH GOLD
MY SOUL HOPES TO BE A PART OF THAT PLACE
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

JESSICA NICOLE SCHAFER 09-11-08

HOME.

THOUGH I MAKE A HOUSE FEEL COMFORTABLE
THOUGH I FILL IT WITH OUR FAMILY’S LOVE
THOUGH I DO MY BEST TO MAKE IT FEEL WARM
I STILL DON’T BELONG HERE, MY HOME IS ABOVE.

THOUGH A HUG CAN FEEL SO SWEET
AND SO MUCH HAPPINESS COMES WITH A KISS…
I AM ALWAYS LONGING FOR THAT PLACE
THAT IS FILLED WITH ETERNAL BLISS.

YES, INDEED WE HEARD HIM SAY
“THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND”…
BUT THE FINAL DAY HASN’T HAPPENED…
WHAT WE LOOK FORWARD TO IS SO GRAND.

EVERYTIME I THINK OF THE OTHER SIDE,
I WONDER HOW IT’S GOING TO BE…
HOW AMAZING TO HUG MY MOMMA AGAIN,
AND HEAR HER SAY HOW SHE’S MISSED ME!!

BUT FOR NOW, WE STILL HAVE TO WAIT A BIT.
WE STILL HAVE SOME TRIALS AHEAD.
SO ALTHOUGH I HOPE FOR HEAVEN ONE DAY,
I’LL BE CONTENT IN TODAY, INSTEAD.

AND WHILE I FEEL A LITTLE AT HOME SOMETIMES,
THAT LONGING STILL RINGS TRUE…
LORD JESUS HELP ME BE STEADFAST HERE
IN EVERYTHING I DO.


JESSICA NICOLE SCHAFER 09-11-08

SWEET FRIENDSHIPS.

SHE MAKES YOU LAUGH, SHE’S ALWAYS THERE
SHE LISTENS WHEN YOU CRY.
SHE’S ALWAYS THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND,
AND NEVER CASTS A JUDGING EYE.

THE SWEET MEMORIES YOU HAVE TOGETHER
MAKE YOU GIGGLE WHEN YOU THINK OF THEM…
AND EVERYTIME THE BOTH OF YOU TALK
IT DRAWS YOU CLOSER TO HIM.

SHE’S THERE WHEN TRAGEDY HAPPENS
YOU KNOW ON HER YOU CAN DEPEND.
YOU KNOW THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT
FOR YOU AND THIS BELOVED FRIEND.

THOUGH LIFE WILL CONTINUE
TO CHANGE FOR BOTH OF YOU,
YOU CAN TAKE IT TO THE BANK
THAT SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU!

SHE’LL LISTEN TO YOU COMPLAIN
AND RANT, AND RAVE, AND SCREAM!
AND SHE’LL NEVER JUDGE YOUR FEELINGS-
BUT SHE’LL PROBABLY OFFER SOME ICE CREAM!

THERE’S NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW
HAPPY THE TIMES ARE WHEN
YOU KNOW YOU CAN DEPEND ON
A WONDERFUL, CARING, FRIEND.

J.N.S. September 9, 2008

(P.S. THIS IS ALSO TRUE OF MY SWEET SISTER. JUST THOUGHT I'D REMIND YOU OF THAT, CARMELITA!!)

SOME STUFF.

1. I FINALLY GOT A CHANCE TO READ "THE SHACK". AMAZING. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GOOD BOOK, I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.

2. PUMPKIN CANDLE'S BURNIN' BRIGHT!!

3. MY LIL' BABY TURNS FOUR AT THE END OF THE MONTH. :( HOW ON EARTH CAN HE ALREADY BE THIS AGE?

4. I LOVE AUTUMN. I LOVE THE COOLNESS IN THE MORNINGS THAT REQUIRES A LIGHT JACKET...I LOVE THE COLORS...I LOVE THE CRISPNESS IN THE AIR...I LOVE BUSTIN' OUT THOSE COMFY, COZY, SWEATERS.

5. I HAVE AMAZING FRIENDS. THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THEY'RE MISSED EVERYDAY BY ME!! I LOVE YOU PEOPLE SO DANG MUCH!!

6. I'VE REALLY LIKED "HAVING A MARY HEART IN A MARTHA WORLD" SO FAR. AND I'M ABOUT TO READ "THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF APOLOGY". I LOVED "THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES", SO I'M HOPING THIS ONE IS JUST AS GOOD.

7. WHAT A NUMBER!! :)

8. I LIKE TO KISS ON MY HUSBAND. I CAN'T HELP IT! HE'S JUST TOO WONDERFUL. I'M SO GLAD GOD BLESSED ME WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL MAN TO BE IN LOVE WITH FOREVER, WHO THINKS THE WORLD OF ME.

9. SCHOOL'S BEEN FUN. DYLAN ALWAYS LOVES "DOING SCHOOL". THAT'S WHAT HE CALLS IT. HE'S READING SO WELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WHEN WE WERE OUT OF TOWN TODAY, HE KEPT READING ALL THE SIGNS.......WHICH MAKES ME WEARY OF GOING OUT NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE JUNK THERE IS TO READ AROUND US!!! SHEESH.

10. WE BOUGHT "DON'T BREAK THE ICE" TONIGHT. BIG HIT. I LOVED THIS GAME WHEN I WAS A LIL' GIRL. I'M GLAD DYLAN LIKES IT.

11. COMING IN NETFLIX: "JON AND KATE PLUS 8" AND "THE OFFICE: SEASON 4". YAY!!!!!!! I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THESE SHOWS.

12. HAS ANYONE SEEN THE NEW MINI LAPTOP NOTEBOOKS? SOOOOOOO CUTE. ME LIKEY.

A LAMENT.

I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE “WHY’S?”
I DON’T KNOW ALL THE REASONS…
BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU PROMISED YOU’D
NEVER LEAVE, NO MATTER THE SEASON.

THE SUFFERING THAT HAPPENS HERE
IS AT TIMES WAY TO MUCH TO SEE,
BUT YOU’VE SAID THAT IN ALL MOMENTS,
YOUR GRACE WILL BE SUFFICIENT FOR ME.

AT TIMES IT SEEMS SO HOPELESS, FOR BOTH
MYSELF AND THE ONES I LOVE…
IT SEEMS LIKE IT’S NEVER GOING TO CHANGE,
BUT I KEEP LOOKING ABOVE.

I’M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, LORD,
SOMETHING GOOD TO HOLD ONTO…
AND SOMETIMES IT’S SO HARD
TO REALIZE THAT’S ALL THAT I CAN DO.

BUT THAT’S THE POINT OF OUR FAITH, RIGHT?
TO CLING TO YOU THROUGH DESPAIR…
TO LEAN ON YOU AND TRUST YOU,
THOUGH SOMETIMES IT FEELS THAT YOU’RE NOT THERE.

CHANGES WILL CONTINUE TO HAPPEN,
HAPPINESS WILL COME BUT TRIALS, TOO.
LORD HELP ME TO REMEMBER THAT
ALL I’LL EVER NEED IS YOU.

THOUGH OTHERS THINK IT’S INSANE
TO TRUST THIS GOD I CANNOT SEE…
I WHOLLY LEAN ON YOU, MY FATHER, MY MOTHER…
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’LL ALWAYS LOVE ME.

STILL, SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM OUT,
“I CAN’T TAKE ALL THIS ANYMORE!”…
IT SEEMS THAT SORROW ABOUNDS
BEHIND EVERY SINGLE DOOR.

I WONDER WHERE YOU ARE, GOD
THEN I REMEMBER WHY WE’RE HERE…
YOUR CHILDREN ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF
THE POOR, THE WIDOWS, THE ORPHANS…ALL IN DESPAIR.

PLEASE FORGIVE YOUR CHILDREN, LORD
FOR LETTING SELFISHNESS TAKE THE REIGNS.
FORGIVE US FOR SHUTTING THE DOOR
TO ALL THOSE AROUND US WHO ARE IN PAIN.

LORD, REMIND US ALL OF THOSE TWO COMMANDMENTS,
THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES WE NEED TO DO,
TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR AS OURSELVES
AND WITH EVERYTHING WE ARE, LOVE YOU.

J.N.S. 09-03-08

A NEW PAIR OF SHOES AND OTHER THINGS.

1.WE FINALLY GOT NEW SHOES OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS, ALL THREE OF US. I MADE DARRYL FIND SOME, BECAUSE IT'S HARD FINDING SHOES FOR GIANTS AND I WANTED HIM TO HAVE NEW ONES SINCE HE WAS STARTING BACK TO SCHOOL. I DON'T KNOW, I JUST REMEMBER THE FEELING OF WEARING A NEW, CLEAN, COMFORTABLE PAIR OF SHOES AND THAT FEELING OF "NEW-NESS"....COULD BE JUST ME.....BUT IT'S NOT, RIGHT? SURELY I'M NOT ALONE IN THAT!!

2. DYLAN'S LIKING THE "SCHOOL" STUFF WE'RE DOING. I'M GLAD. I'M LIKING IT, TOO.

3. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE REBECCA'S BABY BOY SOON.

4. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY MISS MY FRIENDS. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YEAH, I MISS YOU!!!

5. FALL IS COMING.......AND WITH IT, PUMPKIN CREAMER.

6. I'VE BEEN GETTING MCDONALD'S ICED HAZELNUT COFFEE LATELY, AND DARRYL'S BEEN CALLING IT MY I.V. I HAVE TO ADMIT, HE'S KIND OF RIGHT. BUT I LOVE COFFEE, IT'S MY ONE PLEASURE IN LIFE!!!

7. I RECENTLY WON A COUPLE OF BOOKS I NEEDED FOR HOMESCHOOLING ON EBAY. EBAY IS EVIL, IT MAKES ME WANT TO BUY MORE. I CAN'T BID ON STUFF THAT MUCH.......IT'S TOO FUN.

8. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW SCHOLASTIC TREASURY OF 100 STORIES ON DVD,. AND CURRENLTY DEBATING ON WHETHER GETTING IT OR NOT FOR DYLAN FOR HIS 4TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! YEAH, 4. 4 STINKIN' YEARS OLD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WHY DOES TIME MOVE SO QUICKLY?!?!!?!?? HE'S GROUNDED FOR GROWING UP TOO FAST. HE JUST WON'T LISTEN TO ME AND STOP GROWING!!! (I'M NOT TOO WILD ABOUT THE "DVD" ASPECT, BUT I AM EXCITED THAT IF I WERE TO GET THIS, I CAN PUT ALL THOSE 100 STORIES ON MY IPOD....AND DYLAN ABSOLUTELY LOVES LISTENING TO AUDIOBOOKS.)

9. THE LADIES AT OUR CHURCH JUST FINISHED N.T. WRIGHT'S STUDY "A LIVING FAITH"....EXCELLENT. HIGHLY RECOMMEND ANYTHING THAT MAN'S EVER WRITTEN. HE'S A GENIOUS, MUCH LIKE MY HUSBAND.

10. I'M THINKING OF DOING "HAVING A MARY HEART IN A MARTHA WORLD" FOR THE NEXT STUDY.......ANYONE HAVE SUGGESTIONS ABOUT THAT BOOK? I HAVEN'T READ THROUGH IT YET. DID YOU LIKE IT, NOT LIKE IT? INPUT ON THAT WOULD BE LOVELY!!

11.THERE'S A BLUEGRASS BAND COMING TO OUR CHURCH TONIGHT.......I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LISTENING TO BLUEGRASS!!!!!!!

12. I BETTER GO DRINK SOME COFFEE, MY CUTE LIL' BEAN WILL BE UP SOON.

HOME.

WHILE EVERYTHING KEEPS SHIFTING
AND THE DREAMS YOU CLING TO SEEM TO FADE
QUESTIONS SEEM TO SURROUND YOU,
REMEMBER THE PROMISES I’VE MADE.

WHEN ALL YOU SEE IS DARKNESS
AND THE HOPE YOU KNOW SEEMS MEEK
REMEMBER HOW I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU,
REMEMBER THE THINGS I SPEAK.

WHILE EVERYTHING SEEMS TO LOOK HOPELESS,
CLING TO ME, I’M ALWAYS HERE.
HAVE I NOT SAID THAT IN A BOTTLE
I HAVE PUT YOUR EVERY TEAR?

THIS ROLLER COASTER YOU’RE RIDING
IN LIFE WILL CONTINUE TO GO ON,
BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR HOPE IN ME,
THERE’S NOBODY BETTER TO LEAN ON.

THE LONELINESS WILL PASS SOON
I WILL WIPE ALL TEARS AWAY,
JUST CONTINUE TO BE STEADFAST
AND LOOKING TO THAT GLORIOUS DAY.

WHILE IT SEEMS THAT ALL YOU’LL DO
IN YOUR LIFE IS CONTINUE TO ROAM,
REMEMBER NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR HOME.

A WHISPER OF HOPE.

I HEAR YOU, MY CHILD, I AM LISTENING,
THOUGH YOU FEEL AS IF NOBODY’S THERE.
JUST TELL ME YOUR HEART, WHISPER YOUR THOUGHTS,
CRY OUT TO ME THROUGH YOUR DESPAIR.

THE PLACE WHERE I HAVE YOU NOW, I KNOW
IS NOT A PLACE OF JOY AND SUNSHINE.
BUT THROUGH ALL THE TEARS JUST REMEMBER
MY PRECIOUS CHILD, YOU ARE STILL MINE.

REACH OUT TO ME IN THE DARKNESS,
CRY TO ME WHEN FEAR FILLS YOUR HEART.
FOR NOBODY ELSE CAN UNDERSTAND QUITE LIKE ME,
TRUST ME, WE’LL NEVER BE APART.

I CAN’T GIVE TO YOU ALL THE REASONS
THAT I’VE PLACED YOU IN THE DESERT FOR NOW.
BUT I CAN REMIND YOU I LOVE YOU,
THOUGH YOU ARE QUESTIONING HOW.

PEOPLE WILL FAIL YOU, JUST AS YOU’VE SEEN.
BUT KEEP HOPE IN ME, I CAN CHANGE ANYONE’S HEART.
I’M STILL THE SAME GOD WHO PARTED THE SEA,
AND CREATED THIS WORLD AT THE START.

CLING TO ME NOW IN YOUR SORROW AND PAIN.
STAY CLOSE TO ME ALL THROUGH THE RAIN.
REMEMBER THROUGH ALL OF YOUR ANGUISH AND DOUBT,
YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE THE HOPE OF ME COMING AGAIN.

HOPE IS WHAT WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH
THIS SEASON OF LONELINESS AROUND YOU,
BUT CHILD, HAVE NO FEAR, I AM ALWAYS HERE,
AND THERE’S NOTHING I CANNOT DO.

THOUGH THIS MAY NOT BE THE LAST TIME
I PLACE YOU IN THE WILDERNESS.
THERE WILL STILL BE TIMES OF JOY TO COME,
FILLED WITH LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS.

JESSICA SCHAFER 08-23-08

THERE IS A LEGEND ABOUT JESUS IN HEAVEN SHORTLY AFTER HIS TIME ON EARTH. THE ANGELS WERE TALKING WITH HIM, AND GABRIEL SAID, "MASTER, YOU SUFFERED TERRIBLY DOWN THERE. DO THE PEOPLE KNOW HOW YOU LOVED THEM AND WHAT YOU DID FOR THEM?" "NO," SAID JESUS, "NOT YET. A FEW PEOPLE IN PALESTINE KNOW." "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE," SAID GABRIEL, "TO LET EVERYONE KNOW?" JESUS SAID, "I HAVE ASKED PETER AND JAMES AND JOHN AND A FEW OTHERS TO MAKE IT THE BUSINESS OF THEIR LIVES TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT ME, AND THE OTHERS STILL OTHERS, AND YET OTHERS, UNTIL THE FARTHEST PERSON ON THE WIDEST CIRCLE KNOWS WHAT I HAVE DONE." GABRIEL LOOKED VERY DOUBTFUL. "YES," HE SAID, "BUT WHAT IF PETER AND JAMES AND JOHN GROW TIRED? WHAT IF THE PEOPLE WHO COME AFTER THEM FORGET? WHAT IF WAY DOWN IN THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY PEOPLE JUST DON'T TELL OTHERS ABOUT YOU? HAVEN'T YOU MADE ANY OTHER PLANS?" JESUS ANSWERED, "NO, I HAVEN'T MADE ANY OTHER PLANS. I AM COUNTING ON THEM."

*SOURCE UNKNOWN*

THE ARRANGER: A CONVERSATION BETWEEN DADDY AND DYLAN:

“DADDY, IS NOT EVERY DADDY A PASTOR?”..

“NO, DADDY’S WORK AT DIFFERENT PLACES. SOME WORK AT STORES, THEY ALL DO DIFFERENT THINGS.”

“OH.”

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE GRANDPA USED TO WORK?”

“NO, WHERE?”

“HE USED TO FLY BIG AIRPLANES!”

“WOW!”

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE MOMMY WORKS?”

“YEAH, MOMMY WORKS AT HOME. SHE ARRANGES THINGS!”



WELL, APPARENTLY I AM GOOD FOR SOMETHING.

MY HEART IS CLINGING TO THESE VERSES RIGHT NOW.

“WAIT FOR THE LORD, BE STRONG AND LET YOUR HEART TAKE COURAGE; YES, WAIT FOR THE LORD.”
*PSALM 27:14

“HEAR THE VOICE OF MY SUPPLICATIONS WHEN I CRY TO YOU FOR HELP, WHEN I LIFT UP MY HANDS TOWARD YOUR HOLY SANCTUARY.”
*PSALM 28:2

“THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.”
*PSALM 34:18

“WHEN I AM AFRAID, I WILL PUT MY TRUST IN YOU. IN GOD, WHOSE WORD I PRAISE, IN GOD I HAVE PUT MY TRUST; I SHALL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT CAN MERE MAN DO TO ME?”
*PSALM 56:3-4

“MY SOUL, WAIT IN SILENCE FOR GOD ONLY, FOR MY HOPE IS FROM HIM. HE ONLY IS MY ROCK AND MY SALVATION, MY STRONGHOLD; I SHALL NOT BE SHAKEN. ON GOD MY SALVATION AND MY GLORY REST; THE ROCK OF MY STRENGTH, MY REFUGE IS IN GOD. TRUST IN HIM AT ALL TIMES, O PEOPLE; POUR OUT YOUR HEART BEFORE HIM; GOD IS A REFUGE FOR US. SELAH.”
*PSALM 62:5-8

“BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED.”
*MATTHEW 5:4

ONE THING IS FOR SURE ABOUT GRIEF: IT WILL KEEP COMING BACK IN MOMENTS THROUGHOUT LIFE. THERE WILL NEVER BE A TIME WHEN IT IS TOTALLY FORGOTTEN, OR A TIME WHEN ONE DOESN’T FEEL THE HURT ALL OVER AGAIN…NOT ALL THE TIME, BUT IT WILL COME AND GO. AND THE HARD THING IS, ONE NEVER KNOWS WHAT WILL “TRIGGER” THOSE FEELINGS, THOSE LONGINGS FOR THE ONES YOU LOVE AND MISS SO DEARLY. SOCIETY TELLS US, HECK, I’VE EVEN HAD FRIENDS TELL ME THAT I’M DOING IT WRONG….THAT IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON…..THAT HOW I’M FEELING IS UNHEALTHY. REALLY? HOW DOES ONE KNOW WHAT’S “HEALTHY” WHEN DEALING WITH GRIEF? ESPECIALLY WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT, THAT THEY JUST DON’T DEAL WITH IT AT ALL…..IS THAT THE “HEALTHIER” WAY TO GO ABOUT IT?
I HAVE HAD SO MANY MOMENTS LATELY OF DEEP GRIEF, REALLY MISSING MY MOMMA. I THINK IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN FOLIAGE ON THE TREES….A SUBTLE REMINDER THAT FALL IS ARRIVING, AND AFTER THAT, WINTER. I DON’T LOOK FORWARD TO THE HOLIDAYS WITHOUT HER.
GRIEF WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE CARRIED ALONE. IT HURTS. IT’S REAL. NOT FACING IT DOES NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY. I REMEMBER SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, I SAT DOWN AT THE COMPUTER, MY EYES FILLED WITH TEARS, AND I WROTE A LETTER. I WROTE A LONG LETTER TELLING THIS YOUNG LADY THAT IT WAS OKAY TO HURT. IT WAS OKAY TO MISS HER LOVED ONE. IT WAS OKAY TO CRY. I EXPLAINED THAT IT WASN’T WRONG OF HER TO FEEL GRIEF. I WANTED HER TO KNOW SHE WASN'T ALONE. EVEN THOUGH THOSE SHE LONGED TO BE THERE ALONGSIDE HER WEREN’T THERE, GOD WAS. I WROTE THAT LETTER TO MYSELF.
I WILL NEVER FORGET ALL THE RUBBISH I HAVE HEARD, AND I’M SURE I’LL CONTINUE TO HEAR, WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT OCCURRED OVER LAST WINTER. PEOPLE TEND TO SAY ANYTHING WHEN DEALING WITH GRIEF, AND OFTENTIMES, IT’S NOT AT ALL THE RIGHT THING TO SAY. ON THE OTHER HAND, I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HILARIE TOLD ME. IT WAS ALMOST AS SOON AS I ARRIVED IN EDMOND, AND SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SAID WITH SUCH A SAD HEART, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY…”. AND THEN SHE HUGGED ME. THAT’S ALL I NEEDED. I DIDN’T NEED A REASON, A QUICK FIX, OR A BAND-AID ANSWER. BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE. I JUST NEEDED HER, TO BE THERE, TO LOVE ME, TO GRIEVE WITH ME. AND SHE WAS. AND THAT MOMENT WILL STICK WITH ME FOREVER.
I HAVE NEVER FELT AS CLOSE TO GOD AS I HAVE FELT SINCE DECEMBER. NOT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN READING MY BIBLE FAITHFULLY, OR “DOING” ALL THE THINGS WE’RE TOLD WE’RE SUPPOSED TO DO TO BE A “GOOD” CHRISTIAN (WHAT AN OXY-MORON). BUT WE ARE TOLD THAT THOSE WHO ARE MOURNING ARE BLESSED. I BELIEVE HIS WORDS. HE KNOWS MY HEART, HE KNOWS MY FEARS, HE KNOWS MY SORROWS, HE KNOWS MY GRIEF. AND HE IS HERE WITH ME.
HE IS MY HOPE. I CLING TO HIM.

“AND GOD IS WITH ME, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE…
AND GOD IS WITH ME, I WILL NEVER BE ALONE,
OUR GOD IS SO FAITHFUL.
I WILL NEVER BE ALONE,
YOUR LOVE IS SO FAITHFUL….”

“GOD IS WITH ME”
FROM: CHURCH OF THE HARVEST

DYLAN SAID TO ME YESTERDAY, “WE CAN’T SEE GOD…”…I QUICKLY RESPONDED……. ”YES, THAT’S RIGHT BABY, WE CAN’T. BUT WE KNOW HE’S THERE, RIGHT? BECAUSE WE CAN FEEL THAT HE’S HERE, CAN’T YOU FEEL HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU? WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE WORLD HE MADE US, IT REMINDS US THAT HE’S HERE.”. REALLY GOOD ANSWER, JES. THAT WAS A DEEP, THEOLOGICAL WAY TO ANSWER HIM. NOW HE’LL THINK MORE. HE IMMEDIATELY SOUNDED BACK WITH, “YEAH, BUT MOMMY, WE STILL CAN'T SEE HIM, WHY CAN’T WE SEE HIM?”. SHEEEEESH. “I DON’T KNOW, BABY. WE JUST CAN’T…ONE DAY WE WILL”. I’M WITH HIM. WHY CAN’T WE? I WANT TO. OR MAYBE WE DO, (AS MY HUSBAND PUTS IT) AND HE'S JUST NOT WHAT WE'RE EXPECTING. BUT HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT TO MY 3-YEAR-OLD? (P.S. HE READ THE WORD 'DEVELOP' ALL BY HIMSELF....I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE TO REDO OUR HOMESCHOOL CURRICULUM FOR THE YEAR...)

VBS WAS WONDERFUL!!! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND “THE PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING: A VEGGIETALES VBS”. IT WAS AMAZING. I PRAYED THE FIRST NIGHT THAT WE’D HAVE SO MANY KIDS THAT OUR BUS WOULD HAVE TO MAKE TWO TRIPS, AND THE NEXT DAY, WE HAD TOO MANY KIDS! WE HAD THE BUS AND TWO EXTRA VEHICLES PICKING UP CHILDREN ALL WEEK. WE GAVE OUT THE NASB (COMPLETE ONE, I CAN’T STAND WHEN ONLY THE NEW TESTAMENTS ARE GIVEN OUT, IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY) AND WE EVEN RAN OUT OF BIBLES!! WE HAD TO DIG SOME OUT OF THE CHURCH LIBRARY TO GIVE AWAY. DARRYL LOVED BEING THE COMMODORE, AND WE EVEN HAD EYEPATCHES AND TATTOOES FOR THE KIDS. HAHA. IT WAS SO FUNNY. MONTHS OF PLANNING FINALLY WRAPPED UP BEAUTIFULLY. THANK GOD, WE COULD TELL HIS HAND WAS ALL OVER THIS, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WE CAN’T DO IT BY OURSELVES.

DOESN'T GET ANY MORE RANDOM THAN THIS LIST.

1. DYLAN AND I WENT TO A LITTLE ANTIQUE SHOP DOWN THE ROAD. HE WAS SO EXCITED BECAUSE WE GOT “STUART LITTLE” FOR DIRT CHEAP. IT’S A VHS. SEEING HOW MANY VCR’S THIS PLACE HAD TO SELL MADE ME FEEL OLD.
2. VBS NEXT WEEK, YEAH!!!! WE’RE DOING “THE PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING” VBS. IT’S GOING TO BE FUN.
3. I LOOKED AT SO MANY PICTURES TODAY WHILE THE BEAN WAS NAPPING. HOW ON EARTH CAN LIFE MOVE SO QUICKLY? JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, THIS LIL’ BUNDLE WAS BORN. NOW HE CAN THINK FOR HIMSELF.....WHICH I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT YET.
4. IT’S BITTERSWEET SEEING PICTURES OF MOMMA. I MEAN, SHE’S RIGHT THERE. SHE’S SMILING. SHE’S THERE, I CAN SEE HER. I CAN REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE, AND JUST FEEL THE PURE LOVE THAT WAS FELT WHILE WE TOOK EACH PICTURE. I MISS HER SO MUCH. THE PAST FEW WEEKS, THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCES TO DEAL WITH, AND I WOULD’VE GIVEN ANYTHING TO HAVE HER HERE TO HELP ME THROUGH IT.
5. I AM READY FOR FALL. ISN’T THAT SAD? JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, IT WAS SO COLD AND NOW SUMMER’S HERE, AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL, AND THE SUN IS SHINING…..AND IT’S BLAZIN’ HOT!!! I’M MUCH MORE OF A SPRING AND FALL GAL.
6. I NEED TO LEARN TO PLAY MORE. I DON’T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOMMAS WHO ALWAYS SAYS, “I’M BUSY…….NOT RIGHT NOW……..MAYBE LATER…….”..ETC.
7. I LOVE COFFEE. I AM A STRONG ADVOCATE OF IT. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.
8. WE HARDLY WATCH TV. AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY. NOT BECAUSE I THINK IT'S EVIL, AND IT'S JUST "MORE RIGHTEOUS" NOT TO WATCH IT...NOTHING LIKE THAT. THE MAIN REASON FOR ME IS THAT I AM AN EXTREMIST. I COULD VERY EASILY WATCH THE TUBE ALL DAY LONG (IF WE HAD MORE THAN 4 STATIONS…WE HAVE BUNNY EARS). SO, IT STAYS OFF MOST OF THE TIME. AND, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO SIT AND WATCH…I CAN LIST ABOUT TEN THINGS I NEED TO GET DONE RIGHT NOW, EVEN AS I’M TYPING…….HMMM…….MAYBE I SHOULD STOP TYPING. BUT I WON’T. HAHA. WE DO WATCH OUR DVDS SOMETIMES, DYLAN'S SPECIAL "TREAT" RIGHT NOW IS "THE COSBY SHOW". HE LOVES IT. WHO DOESN'T LIKE BILL COSBY? (I JUST MAY GET TO SEE HIM LIVE IN OCTOBER............I CAN'T WAIT!!!)
9. SOMEONE FROM OUR CHURCH WAS VERY PERSISTANT UPON LENDING US THEIR WII. WE HAVE BEEN ENJOYING IT SOOOOOO MUCH. WILL WE BUY ONE? I DON’T KNOW. WE DON’T HAVE ANY WII MONEY. BUT, IT IS QUITE ENTERTAINING.
10. I LOVE READING TO DYLAN, HE’S ALWAYS BEEN SO INTERESTED IN BOOKS. HE IS HAVING QUITE A TIME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE’S BEEN REALIZING THAT NOT ONLY CAN HE READ, BUT HE CAN ACTUALLY READ A SENTENCE, WHICH MEANS HE CAN READ A STORY TO HIMSELF!!! I CAN SEE HIM THINKING HOW AMAZING IT IS THAT HE CAN ACTUALLY READ ONE OF HIS FAVORITE STORIES!! I LOVE MOMENTS LIKE THAT.
11. ANOTHER USED CURRICULUM FAIR COMING UP, SO THAT’LL BE COOL!! LAST TIME I SCORED A TWENTY-BOOK SET OF CHILDCRAFT BOOKS!!! FIVE SMACKAROOS. THAT’S WHY I LOVE USED FAIRS. DYLAN HAS LOVED THOSE BOOKS SO MUCH, SO IT WAS FIVE BUCKS WELL SPENT.
12. IF YOU’RE STILL READING THIS, EITHER YOU’RE BORED, OR YOU’RE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN MY LIL’ LIFE!!
13. OFF TO DO SOMETHING FUN NOW, THE BOY’S UP. I’LL LEAVE YOU WITH A CUTE LIL’ PIC OF HIM WITH HIS NANA AND PAWPAW. (HE'S READY FOR A NAP IN THIS PICTURE...HENCE THE SLEEPY EYES) IT’S HARD TO PUT WORDS TO WHAT A UNIQUE RELATIONSHIP HE AND HIS NANA SHARED. SHE JUST ALWAYS MADE HIM LIGHT UP…….AND THE SAME WITH HIM. HE ASKS ABOUT HER EVERYDAY. I LOVE THE FACT THAT HE’LL REMEMBER HER.