I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

FOR GRINS AND GIGGLES.

CHURCH BULLETINS....(ONE OF MY PET PEEVES...LOTS OF MISPELD WURDS...HEHEHE)

THE SENIOR CHOIR INVITES ANY MEMBER OF THE CONGREGATION WHO ENJOYS SINNING TO JOIN THE CHOIR.

NEXT SUNDAY IS THE FAMILY HAYRIDE AND BONFIRE AT THE FOWLERS'. BRING YOUR OWN HOT DOGS AND GUNS. FRIENDS ARE WELCOME! EVERYONE COME FOR A FUN TIME.

SAY "HELL" TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE MUCH ABOUT YOU.

THE PASTOR WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THE LADIES OF THE CONGREGATION WOULD LEND HIM THEIR ELECTRIC GIRDLES FOR THE PANCAKE BREAKFAST NEXT SUNDAY MORNING.

THE CHURCH WILL HOST AN EVENING OF FINE DINING, SUPERB ENTERTAINMENT, AND GRACIOUS HOSTILITY.

AND SOME MORE IF THAT DIDN'T CRACK YOU UP...

BERTHA BELCH, A MISSIONARY FROM AFRICA WILL BE SPEAKING TONIGHT AT CALVARY MEMORIAL CHURCH IN RACINE. COME TONIGHT AND HEAR BERTHA BELCH ALL THE WAY FROM AFRICA.

LADIES, DON'T FORGET THE RUMMAGE SALE. IT'S A CHANCE TO GET RID OF THOSE THINGS NOT WORTH KEEPING AROUND THE HOUSE. DON'T FORGET YOUR HUSBANDS.

IRVING BENSON AND JESSIE CARTER WERE MARRIED ON OCTOBER 24TH IN THE CHURCH. SO ENDS A FRIENDSHIP THAT BEGAN IN THEIR SCHOOL DAYS.

AT THE EVENING SERVICE TONIGHT, THE SERMON TOPIC WILL BE "WHAT IS HELL?" COME EARLY AND LISTEN TO OUR CHOIR PRACTICE.

THE SERMON THIS MORNING: "JESUS WALKS ON THE WATER". THE SERMON TONIGHT: "SEARCHING FOR JESUS".

NEXT THURSDAY WILL BE TRYOUTS FOR THE CHOIR. THEY NEED ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM SUPPORT GROUP WILL MEET THURSDAY. PLEASE USE THE BACK DOOR.

BARBARA REMAINS IN THE HOSPITAL AND NEEDS BLOOD DONORS FOR MORE TRANSFUSIONS. SHE IS ALSO HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING AND REQUESTS TAPES OF PASTOR JACK'S SERMONS.

ACTUAL ONES I SAW IN THE TOWN WE PREVIOUSLY LIVED IN DURING CHRISTMASTIME...

CHILDREN'S CHRISTMAS PROGRAM THIS WEEK: "STRANGER IN THE MANGER".

ADULT CHRISTMAS PROGRAM NEXT WEEK: "IN ALL HIS GLORY".

AND MY FAVORITE...

DON'T LET WORRY KILL YOU---LET THE CHURCH HELP.



4 comments:

Jill said...

haha those were great!

My Life With Boys said...

yep, I got a giggle...thanks for sharing!

Rebecca said...

You are FULL of the funnies today! :) I am quite disturbed by your e-mail though. You said "no offense" to me regarding the blond joke, and I seriously don't get it. I've been thinking about it all morning. Is that the joke? There really isn't one?

Andrea said...

Hello sweetie! I am sorry I haven't emailed yet. Things are INSANE!!!!!! And, to top it off I am having trouble with our email. I promise to try to email as soon as it gets worked out. Hubby is going in for surgery on Wednesday (5th) so keep us in your prayers. Love you!