I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

THIS IS HOW IT WORKS IN OUR HOUSE.

ME: I AM 5’3”….(ALRIGHT, I’M 5’1’, BUT I LIKE TO CLAIM TWO IMAGINARY INCHES….) I DIET CONSTANTLY, I’M CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT WHAT I’M EATING, I EAT SUPER HEALTHY, I DRINK 8-10 GLASSES OF WATER A DAY…I HARDLY EVER EAT SWEETS. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I’LL HAVE A SODA. IF I GAIN FIVE POUNDS, I HAVE TO BUY NEW JEANS....BEING SHORT STINKS. (DARRYL SAYS I'M NOT SHORT, I'M "FUN SIZE) I CAN WORK MY REAR OFF, DOING WEIGHT WATCHERS, EXERCISING, AND MAYBE I’LL LOSE 5 POUNDS IN TWO OR THREE WEEKS. I CAN LOOK AT A PIECE OF CAKE AND GAIN 30 POUNDS. I LITERALLY HAVE TO EXERCISE LIKE A MAD WOMAN IF I WANT TO LOSE EVEN A TINY BIT.

THE OTHER PART OF ME: MY HUSBAND IS 6’7”. HE IS SLENDER, VERY GOOD BUILD. HE CAN GAIN A TON OF WEIGHT AND STILL WEAR THE SAME SIZE JEANS. (BECAUSE HE’S SO TALL, IF HE GAINS, IT JUST STRETCHES OUT OVER ALL THAT HEIGHT.) HE CAN LOOK AT A SALAD AND LOSE WEIGHT. HE EATS WHAT HE WANTS, WHEN HE WANTS, DRINKS SODA WHENEVER HE WANTS, EATS MORE SWEETS THAN ANYONE I’VE KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE (BESIDES MY DADDY)…RIGHT NOW THERE’S A CHOCOLATE CAKE IN OUR KITCHEN THAT HE’S DEVOURED MOSTLY BY HIMSELF………..I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER ONE WEEK. (ONE WEEK…..REMEMBER THAT) HE WENT TO THE GYM TWICE. HE STILL ATE WHATEVER HE WANTED, DIDN’T MODIFY HIS DIET AT ALL. AT THE END OF THE WEEK (WHILE I WAS STILL DIETING, HOPING TO MAYBE LOSE AN OUNCE…) HE WEIGHED HIMSELF AND LOST 13 POUNDS. THAT’S JUST JACKED UP. I THINK I LOST 2.

SOME DAYS, I JUST WANT TO SMACK HIM BECAUSE OF HIS GENETIC BUILD!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE. BUT I AM SO JEALOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THE WAY YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT.

YOU KNOW THAT CARTOON COMMERCIAL WHERE THE COUPLE IS SITTING ON THE COUCH, AND SHE COMPLAINS THAT HE STOPPED DRINKING SODA AND LOST A TON, AND SHE STOPPED AND HER BOOBS SHRANK…….YEAH, I CAN VERY MUCH EMPATHIZE WITH THAT. (MINE HAVEN'T SHRUNK YET...BUT I'M SURE IT'LL HAPPEN BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE DOES!!)

3 comments:

Frankie said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting.

I am laughing because I can relate to your post here! I'm a little taller than you, but my DH is 6'5" and can eat anything and not gain. Me, I'm just fat. lol Have been thinking of starting up Weight Watchers again.

You are absolutely right in everything you said on my blog. And I hope you didn't take offense at my Baptist comments...my best friend in this town is a Baptist. My junior high moment, where the preacher told me I would burn in hell if I didn't join his church, really got to me--and obviously stayed with me.

I have an anxiety disorder, which is part of my issues on going to church. Lots of people, unfamiliar surroundings, makes me very tense. It shouldn't, but it does.

While I don't go to church, I do pray and worship on my own. So I will continue to do so in hopes an answer will come.

Thank you.

New Girl on Post said...

I don't mind you asking at all where I'm from! :) I'm from outside Wann, but since noone ever knows where that is I always say I'm from Bartlesville.

Where are you guys from in Oklahoma?

New Girl on Post said...

I know where both of those places are! My friend and I knew a guy in college from Frederick, his name was Gary Bennett. Before him I'd never heard of it though.