I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

An End to Grief?

I've been very open with my grief. Some would say that is foolish...others may be indifferent. I admit I have even felt those feelings. I wonder sometimes if what I share regarding my grief makes a difference.....and lately I've been thinking.

It does make a difference.......for me, at least.

I can't speak for anybody else. I can only tell my own story, and I believe wholeheartedly that healing comes out of sharing life with one another...and part of life IS grief. That is why I share my journey. That is why I think it's important to share my grief. So for you who do read, thank you.


Grief is a burden. It is a burden that, as I've mentioned many times, we canNOT carry alone. We need God....we need one another. I am no expert....but I do think I can speak about some things I see that are wrong with how the world handles (or does NOT handle) grief. One big issue I've noticed, while looking through book after book, title after title, is that there is one GREAT assumption we have.....there is this false belief that grief will eventually END.

My response to that is simple:

Does love end?
If grief ends, then what of our faith??
Do we not still grieve at the loss of our Saviour on a tree?

WHY did we ever get to a point of thinking we're "strong enough" to be over grieving the great loves that God has given us? HOW DARE WE discount the relationships that He has blessed us with??!!?!

I am not saying that there is never a time for laughter, joy, happiness after losing a loved one. (Ask my husband and my friends.....I laugh all the time....very loudly, mind you.) But I am saying that this idea that we are not "recovering well" if we still express feelings of grief is SHALLOW. I share these things because if you've ever grieved, I'd be willing to bet that you've been told things that make you feel as if you need to "get over it". (If you haven't, I envy you.)

There is something to be said for wallowing in self-pity. However, I cringe at the thought that I've been told I've been doing the same in grieving my Momma. I am EVER SO THANKFUL for a God who's picked up the pieces of my heart that have been stomped on during my grief. As if grieving the one who birthed me is a sin!! I would never have known His great comforting hand, had I not brought my whole self to Him.....including the grief that will forever weigh heavily upon my heart. I am thankful for those who love deeply enough to go to such a heavy place of grief with me. I only hope I can do the same for others.

I've been thinking about these things, hour after hour, day after day....month after month. I would never be able to live through this, had I not offered myself to Him. Sometimes, it's quite simple to see:

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4
**How can we be blessed and comforted if we don't first mourn?**

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
**How can He give us rest if we don't first come to Him?**

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry for help before Him came into His ears." Psalm 18:6
**How can He answer if we refuse to cry out in our distress?**

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation. Selah." Psalm 68:19
**How can He bear them if we're trying to carry them on our own?**

"O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and You healed me." Psalm 30:2
**How can healing come if we never cry out?**

"Jesus wept." John 11:35
**If even HE acknowledged hurt and grief, why do we think it's okay for us to ignore them??**

"You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" Psalm 56:8
**How can He catch our tears....if we never cry them?**

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him." *Psalm 126:5-6*
**How can the harvest of joyful shouting happen if we never plant our seeds of tears and grief?**

forgive us for ever thinking that hiding our grief will bring us closer to the truth. Forgive us for ever thinking we are right in holding back our grief. Forgive us for holding others back from their own grief. Help us to know there is room for all of us at the cross....our smiles, our tears, our joys, and our fears. Help us be a people that offer up to You our grief, and carry one another's tears with them.

"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

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