I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Loving Ours with Our Lives.


There are days I want to (ring someone’s neck? toss a brick at someone’s head?...) scream when I hear some of the heartless words tossed about when a person doesn’t dare want to walk a moment of grief with me (or anyone else, for that matter)…. “Move on, get over it, time heals all wounds, find something to keep you busy, focus on the positive and ignore the negative”…blah, blah, blah.

It’s such an empty notion, right?  “Hey, your Mom’s dead.  She is no longer living.  You will never see her again. You will finish your days here without her.  She will never see the rest of her grandbabies that you have.”

No big deal, just get over it.  (Translation: “Or simply quit mentioning it….it’s too hard for anyone to explain, so quieting you is an easier alternative!”)

It will always baffle me.  I, a griever, am expected to move on as if unchanged by the absence of the one who carried me in her womb.

It’s toxic.
It’s such a toxic, lifeless, heartless thought to tell someone who will forever live with the great amputation of their loved one.

Still, while the fifth Momma’s Day without her creeps up…I weep.  I weep for her.  I weep for that ear to hear my heart, as only a Momma can.  I cry out for that voice that will tell me I’m doing great at this thing called “life”….that voice to soothe my aching spirit on those days  I really don’t think I can bear anymore with a simple , “Everything will be okay”…

Still, my heart is broken….because I know it will only be mended from this hurt when we are reunited.
Naturally, I ponder being a Momma to our sweet, sweet, brilliant, crazily awesome, Babylove.  I think of the wonderful, loyal, brilliant, amazingly HOT husband I have been given.

And all this hurt, all this grief, all this brokenness, all this LOVE…..it makes me all the more milk every delicious, beautiful, blessed moment I am given with this husband and son I get to live for.

It makes me remember when my husband told me just after the Deep Sadness, “You have every right to grieve for her, you both had a relationship so filled with love that it only makes sense to hurt this much…”
So I will spend all my energy, every bit of it, loving on this Loving Husband of mine, and our Offspring.  I will love them with a love that can’t be tamed.  I will remind them of how valuable, amazing, and adored they are by me.

Don’t you see??

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about being a momma, daddy, husband, wife, son, daughter, or friend…….

It doesn’t matter if we live in a box on the side of the highway, or a mansion by the beach…

It doesn’t matter what language we speak.

It doesn’t matter what job we hold, what titles we have, or do not have.

It doesn’t matter if we bring home six figures a year, or have to depend on others to feed, house, and clothe us…

What matters is how we spend our days, how we invest our time in our loved ones, our closest ones, those relationships that will never be replaced.

Do we get it yet?....We are all born with this same skin, and we all have days that are numbered.

HOW we spend those days, how we love our spouses, children, parents, friends…….

THAT is what will always matter.

THAT is what will echo love to the world.

THAT love…..that love is what will remind our loved ones, as well as those around us, of a God that wildly desires to pursue us, pouring out His love on each and every one of us.

THAT is the LOVE we should be giving.

THAT is how we live out this vision of the Body of Christ.

Husbands and wives, marriage has a huge part in that.

And for whatever reason we are not…….use your time now to fix it.

LOVE your spouse.  LOVE your children. LOVE your family.

Because for now, as long as we have breath…it’s NOT too late to pour yourself into them.



 “The rich and the poor have a common bond, the LORD is the maker of them all.”  Proverbs 22:2

“Marriage is to be held in honour among all…”  Hebrews 13:4

“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:31-33

“Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:35


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for these words! This is also my 5th mothers day without my mom. The feeling still leaves me sick and empty. But my life has changed because even with all the bad in this world, life is precious. She said that herself when her disease left her paralyzed. Every breath we take we did not deserve. Even if we live to be 90 years old it is still such a short amount of time. Your post was great encouragement.

jesnicole said...

Thanks for reading, and for the kind words! I am so thankful it encouraged you.

Anonymous said...

I have found that regardless if you lose your mother at a young age or when you are in your 80s the emptiness that ensues is immeasurable. Very few days pass when I do not think of my beautiful mother; I blogged about her just earlier today and she will be gone 11 years in August, but truly she had died 5 years before that when my dad passed. You will see her again, I know that for a fact and until that time arrives you have a beautiful little boy that loves you just as much as you loved her. Live for him and your husband as you so beautifully quoted for love IS the most important thing that we have to share in this time here and forever.

Sandra Reeves Cutrer said...

I realy enjoyed your post. I too grieve on Mother's Day. I cried all day last Sunday.I lost my mother and only daughter the same year- Mom to diabetes and daughter Michelle to ovarian cancer. It has been 10 years for others. For me it has been 10 long,long minutes. My heart goes out to you!
Blessings,
Sandra

jesnicole said...

Thanks for reading, I appreciate your kind words! It helps us all to know we're not alone, doesn't it? "Me, too" is often the biggest way we are comforted.

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