DYLAN SAID TO ME YESTERDAY, “WE CAN’T SEE GOD…”…I QUICKLY RESPONDED……. ”YES, THAT’S RIGHT BABY, WE CAN’T. BUT WE KNOW HE’S THERE, RIGHT? BECAUSE WE CAN FEEL THAT HE’S HERE, CAN’T YOU FEEL HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU? WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE WORLD HE MADE US, IT REMINDS US THAT HE’S HERE.”. REALLY GOOD ANSWER, JES. THAT WAS A DEEP, THEOLOGICAL WAY TO ANSWER HIM. NOW HE’LL THINK MORE. HE IMMEDIATELY SOUNDED BACK WITH, “YEAH, BUT MOMMY, WE STILL CAN'T SEE HIM, WHY CAN’T WE SEE HIM?”. SHEEEEESH. “I DON’T KNOW, BABY. WE JUST CAN’T…ONE DAY WE WILL”. I’M WITH HIM. WHY CAN’T WE? I WANT TO. OR MAYBE WE DO, (AS MY HUSBAND PUTS IT) AND HE'S JUST NOT WHAT WE'RE EXPECTING. BUT HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT TO MY 3-YEAR-OLD? (P.S. HE READ THE WORD 'DEVELOP' ALL BY HIMSELF....I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE TO REDO OUR HOMESCHOOL CURRICULUM FOR THE YEAR...)

VBS WAS WONDERFUL!!! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND “THE PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING: A VEGGIETALES VBS”. IT WAS AMAZING. I PRAYED THE FIRST NIGHT THAT WE’D HAVE SO MANY KIDS THAT OUR BUS WOULD HAVE TO MAKE TWO TRIPS, AND THE NEXT DAY, WE HAD TOO MANY KIDS! WE HAD THE BUS AND TWO EXTRA VEHICLES PICKING UP CHILDREN ALL WEEK. WE GAVE OUT THE NASB (COMPLETE ONE, I CAN’T STAND WHEN ONLY THE NEW TESTAMENTS ARE GIVEN OUT, IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY) AND WE EVEN RAN OUT OF BIBLES!! WE HAD TO DIG SOME OUT OF THE CHURCH LIBRARY TO GIVE AWAY. DARRYL LOVED BEING THE COMMODORE, AND WE EVEN HAD EYEPATCHES AND TATTOOES FOR THE KIDS. HAHA. IT WAS SO FUNNY. MONTHS OF PLANNING FINALLY WRAPPED UP BEAUTIFULLY. THANK GOD, WE COULD TELL HIS HAND WAS ALL OVER THIS, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WE CAN’T DO IT BY OURSELVES.

DOESN'T GET ANY MORE RANDOM THAN THIS LIST.

1. DYLAN AND I WENT TO A LITTLE ANTIQUE SHOP DOWN THE ROAD. HE WAS SO EXCITED BECAUSE WE GOT “STUART LITTLE” FOR DIRT CHEAP. IT’S A VHS. SEEING HOW MANY VCR’S THIS PLACE HAD TO SELL MADE ME FEEL OLD.
2. VBS NEXT WEEK, YEAH!!!! WE’RE DOING “THE PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING” VBS. IT’S GOING TO BE FUN.
3. I LOOKED AT SO MANY PICTURES TODAY WHILE THE BEAN WAS NAPPING. HOW ON EARTH CAN LIFE MOVE SO QUICKLY? JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, THIS LIL’ BUNDLE WAS BORN. NOW HE CAN THINK FOR HIMSELF.....WHICH I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT YET.
4. IT’S BITTERSWEET SEEING PICTURES OF MOMMA. I MEAN, SHE’S RIGHT THERE. SHE’S SMILING. SHE’S THERE, I CAN SEE HER. I CAN REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE, AND JUST FEEL THE PURE LOVE THAT WAS FELT WHILE WE TOOK EACH PICTURE. I MISS HER SO MUCH. THE PAST FEW WEEKS, THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCES TO DEAL WITH, AND I WOULD’VE GIVEN ANYTHING TO HAVE HER HERE TO HELP ME THROUGH IT.
5. I AM READY FOR FALL. ISN’T THAT SAD? JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, IT WAS SO COLD AND NOW SUMMER’S HERE, AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL, AND THE SUN IS SHINING…..AND IT’S BLAZIN’ HOT!!! I’M MUCH MORE OF A SPRING AND FALL GAL.
6. I NEED TO LEARN TO PLAY MORE. I DON’T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOMMAS WHO ALWAYS SAYS, “I’M BUSY…….NOT RIGHT NOW……..MAYBE LATER…….”..ETC.
7. I LOVE COFFEE. I AM A STRONG ADVOCATE OF IT. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.
8. WE HARDLY WATCH TV. AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY. NOT BECAUSE I THINK IT'S EVIL, AND IT'S JUST "MORE RIGHTEOUS" NOT TO WATCH IT...NOTHING LIKE THAT. THE MAIN REASON FOR ME IS THAT I AM AN EXTREMIST. I COULD VERY EASILY WATCH THE TUBE ALL DAY LONG (IF WE HAD MORE THAN 4 STATIONS…WE HAVE BUNNY EARS). SO, IT STAYS OFF MOST OF THE TIME. AND, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO SIT AND WATCH…I CAN LIST ABOUT TEN THINGS I NEED TO GET DONE RIGHT NOW, EVEN AS I’M TYPING…….HMMM…….MAYBE I SHOULD STOP TYPING. BUT I WON’T. HAHA. WE DO WATCH OUR DVDS SOMETIMES, DYLAN'S SPECIAL "TREAT" RIGHT NOW IS "THE COSBY SHOW". HE LOVES IT. WHO DOESN'T LIKE BILL COSBY? (I JUST MAY GET TO SEE HIM LIVE IN OCTOBER............I CAN'T WAIT!!!)
9. SOMEONE FROM OUR CHURCH WAS VERY PERSISTANT UPON LENDING US THEIR WII. WE HAVE BEEN ENJOYING IT SOOOOOO MUCH. WILL WE BUY ONE? I DON’T KNOW. WE DON’T HAVE ANY WII MONEY. BUT, IT IS QUITE ENTERTAINING.
10. I LOVE READING TO DYLAN, HE’S ALWAYS BEEN SO INTERESTED IN BOOKS. HE IS HAVING QUITE A TIME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE’S BEEN REALIZING THAT NOT ONLY CAN HE READ, BUT HE CAN ACTUALLY READ A SENTENCE, WHICH MEANS HE CAN READ A STORY TO HIMSELF!!! I CAN SEE HIM THINKING HOW AMAZING IT IS THAT HE CAN ACTUALLY READ ONE OF HIS FAVORITE STORIES!! I LOVE MOMENTS LIKE THAT.
11. ANOTHER USED CURRICULUM FAIR COMING UP, SO THAT’LL BE COOL!! LAST TIME I SCORED A TWENTY-BOOK SET OF CHILDCRAFT BOOKS!!! FIVE SMACKAROOS. THAT’S WHY I LOVE USED FAIRS. DYLAN HAS LOVED THOSE BOOKS SO MUCH, SO IT WAS FIVE BUCKS WELL SPENT.
12. IF YOU’RE STILL READING THIS, EITHER YOU’RE BORED, OR YOU’RE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN MY LIL’ LIFE!!
13. OFF TO DO SOMETHING FUN NOW, THE BOY’S UP. I’LL LEAVE YOU WITH A CUTE LIL’ PIC OF HIM WITH HIS NANA AND PAWPAW. (HE'S READY FOR A NAP IN THIS PICTURE...HENCE THE SLEEPY EYES) IT’S HARD TO PUT WORDS TO WHAT A UNIQUE RELATIONSHIP HE AND HIS NANA SHARED. SHE JUST ALWAYS MADE HIM LIGHT UP…….AND THE SAME WITH HIM. HE ASKS ABOUT HER EVERYDAY. I LOVE THE FACT THAT HE’LL REMEMBER HER.

THE FOLLOWING ARE ISSUES I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH IN MY LIFE.

*ENABLEMENT: I WAS THINKING ABOUT ENABLING A FEW WEEKS AGO. AND THIS THOUGHT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS: WHEN WE ENABLE OTHERS TO CARRY ON IN ANY FORM OF SIN, WE ARE PARTICIPATING IN THAT SIN!!! THAT IS SUCH A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW, ISN’T IT? I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THE TIMES IN MY PAST THAT I HAVE ENABLED PEOPLE, AND ALL THE TIMES THAT OTHERS HAVE ENABLED ME. WHAT A HARSH REALITY, THIS WAS SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO ADMIT TO MYSELF, BUT I CAN’T DENY IT NOW.

*RELAXING: I HAVE BEEN LEARNING TO RELAX, WELL A LITTLE ANYWAY. IF YOU KNOW ME, THEN YOU KNOW I’M JUST A VERY ANXIOUS, BUSY, UPTIGHT PERSON MOST OF THE TIME. I HAVE BEEN LEARNING TO GET OVER MYSELF LATELY AND TO RELAX. GOD MADE A SABBATH. WE’RE COMMANDED TO OBSERVE IT. YET AGAIN, ANOTHER THING I DIDN’T LIKE ADMITTING TO MYSELF.

*REPENTANCE: I HAVE BEEN LEARNING IN MY LIFE THAT AS MANY TIMES AS I SAY, “GOD, I’M SORRY FOR (FILL-IN-THE-BLANK)”…..IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING UNLESS THE SIN I’M DOING CEASES. REPENTANCE IS NOT JUST SAYING I’M SORRY TO GOD. REPENTANCE IS TWO-FOLD;
1. ACKNOWLEDGING MY WRONGDOING BEFORE GOD, WITH A REPENTANT HEART, AND CONFESSING IT TO HIM.
2. TURNING AWAY FROM MY SIN.
SO OFTEN IN MY LIFE, IT’S BEEN EASY TO JUST DO THE APOLOGIZING THING. I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS A LOT WITH MY SON. HE THINKS AS LONG AS HE ALWAYS SAYS I’M SORRY (MIND YOU, HE’S THREE YEARS OLD, SO HE’S STILL VERY LITTLE) THAT HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS. BECAUSE MOMMY ALWAYS FORGIVES AND LOVES HIM. SO MANY TIMES LATELY WE’VE HAD TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT THIS. THESE WERE SOME OF MY WORDS TO HIM THE OTHER DAY: “DYLAN, YOU CAN’T JUST DO THE WRONG THING, SAY YOU’RE SORRY, AND EXPECT EVERYTHING TO ALWAYS BE OKAY. YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING THE THINGS YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE DECISION, EVERYTIME, TO DO THE RIGHT THING. AND HERE’S THE DEAL, YOU CAN DO THAT! YOU ARE A BIG BOY, A SMART BOY, A GOOD BOY, AND YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DO THE RIGHT THING!” IT WAS LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR AND HEARING THESE WORDS ECHO TO THE CORE OF MYSELF!! HOW TRUE. I NEED TO TAKE A DOSE OF MY OWN MEDICINE. GOD GAVE US THE ABILITY TO THINK AND REASON. EVERYTIME I SIN IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOME OTHER THING OR PERSON IN MY LIFE, IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF MY PAST, IT IS NOT BECAUSE LIFE’S JUST TOO HARD…….EVERYTIME I SIN, IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THE DECISION TO DO SO. IT’S QUITE SIMPLE. AND SUCH A HARD THING TO ADMIT TO MYSELF. IT’D BE SO EASY FOR ME TO GO ON SAYING, “BUT GOD, IT’S SO HARD, BECAUSE OF THIS, BECAUSE OF THAT, ETC”…….BUT THERE COMES A TIME WHEN I KNOW BETTER. I’M 27 YEARS OLD. I THINK I KNOW BETTER NOW.
LORD JESUS, FORGIVE ME FOR KNOWINGLY SINNING AGAINST YOU, AND FOR THE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS OF THINKING I CAN TAKE YOUR GRACE AND MERCY FOR GRANTED, OR ANY OTHER PERSON’S GRACE AND FORGIVENESS FOR GRANTED. FORGIVE ME FOR PUTTING MY WANTS BEFORE YOUR TRUTHS. AMEN.

“IN THE SAME WAY THE SPIRIT ALSO HELPS OUR WEAKNESS; FOR WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PRAY AS WE SHOULD, BUT THE SPIRIT HIMSELF INTERCEDES FOR US WITH GROANINGS TOO DEEP FOR WORDS;…”
*ROMANS 8:26

SOMETIMES IN LIFE, WE CAN JUST GET BURNT OUT. THAT IS WHERE I WAS YESTERDAY. JUST FLAT SPENT. TIRED. EXHAUSTED. WEARY IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY DRAINED. MY SWEET SISTER HAD TO LOVINGLY REMIND ME OF HIS YOKE.

“COME TO ME, ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY-LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, FOR I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.”
*MATTHEW 11:28-30

LORD FORGIVE ME FOR PLACING MY OWN YOKE UPON MYSELF, AND THE YOKE OF OTHERS. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CARRY THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON MY SHOULDERS. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU PUT ME HERE FOR. YOU DON'T NEED ME TO BE A HERO. I AM THE ONE IN NEED OF YOU, EVERY MINUTE OF EVERYDAY. I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU.

WITH SO MUCH HURTING AROUND US, WHETHER IT’S YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, I CAN’T HELP BUT THINK OF THIS SONG BY CHARLIE HALL, “DRAW CLOSE”:

“LORD LET ME FEEL IT, THE WAY THAT YOU WOULD FEEL,
BROKEN FOR THE PAIN THAT PEOPLE BEAR.
LORD LET ME TASTE IT, THE TEARS FROM BROKEN REEDS
TEACH ME TO PRAY WITH WEEPING FOR THOSE WITH NEEDS…

DRAW CLOSE TO THE LONELY ONES, TO THE HURTING ONES,
TO THE ANGRY ONES….JESUS BRING PEACE…
DRAW CLOSE TO THE TORN APART, TO THE BROKEN HEART,
TO THE ONE WHO’S FAR….JESUS BRING PEACE…
AND DRAW CLOSE.”

“REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE, AND WEEP WITH THOSE WHO WEEP.”
*ROMANS 12:15*

“BLESSED BE THE GOD AND FATHER OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, THE FATHER OF MERCIES AND GOD OF ALL COMFORT, WHO COMFORTS US IN ALL OUR AFFLICTION SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO COMFORT THOSE WHO ARE IN ANY AFFLICTION WITH THE COMFORT WITH WHICH WE OURSELVES ARE COMFORTED BY GOD. FOR JUST AS THE SUFFERINGS OF CHRIST ARE OURS IN ABUNDANCE, SO ALSO OUR COMFORT IS ABUNDANT THROUGH CHRIST.”
*II CORINTHIANS 1:3-5*

*CONFESSIONS*

I PUT THINGS OFF UNTIL I CAN GET THEM DONE PERFECTLY…….AND END UP NOT DOING SO MANY OF THE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DONE.

I STRUGGLE WITH FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY. THIS AFFECTS MY LIFE AS A WIFE, MOTHER, PASTOR’S WIFE, HOMESCHOOLING MOMMA, SISTER, DAUGHTER, FRIEND……

WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR, I DO NOT SEE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON. I SEE A WOMAN WHO IS SUCH A LITTLE GIRL ON THE INSIDE, AND A WOMAN WHO WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH HOW SHE LOOKS.

I WONDER WHY GOD GAVE ME THE MOST AMAZING GIFT OF BEING A WIFE AND MOTHER, BECAUSE I SO OFTEN FAIL AT IT.

I EXPECT SO MUCH FROM GOD’S CHILDREN, INCLUDING MYSELF….(WHICH I THINK IS A GOOD THING…..) BUT THERE’S A FINE LINE BETWEEN EXPECTATIONS AND JUDGMENTS.

I HAVE A HARD TIME BEING STERN WITH PEOPLE WHO NEED A STERN VOICE. I AM SO SUPER SENSITIVE, SO I’M ALWAYS WALKING ON EGGSHELLS WITH OTHERS…..WHICH MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THEY DON’T NEED THAT.

I OFTEN THINK I WILL NEVER BE A GOOD MOM, AND I WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT MESSING THE FRUIT OF MY WOMB UP.

I AM SUCH A PEOPLE PLEASER. I SAY THIS TO MY SHAME, AS IT IS SUCH A HORRIBLE THING TO LET RULE ONE’S LIFE.

I TALK DOWN ABOUT MYSELF A LOT, ESPECIALLY TO MY HUSBAND. AND I’VE BEEN REALIZING LATELY HOW UGLY THIS HABIT IS. NOT ONLY AM I PUTTING MYSELF DOWN, BUT HIS WIFE, AND MY SON’S MOTHER…….AND THEY ARE HEARING IT. I’M SO ASHAMED OF THAT.

I STRUGGLE WITH ACCEPTING GOD’S GRACE SOMETIMES. I THINK I NEED TO “MAKE IT UP TO HIM”. I OFTEN DWELL ON ALL MY PAST MISTAKES, AND FIND MYSELF HAVING HORRIBLE FEELINGS ABOUT HOW I COULD DO THOSE THINGS.....AND I BEAT MYSELF UP ABOUT ALL OF THEM.

SOMETIMES I THINK I CAN ACTUALLY EARN GOD’S GRACE, MERCY, FORGIVENESS, OR BLESSINGS. I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY DO THIS.

LORD, FORGIVE ME. YOU ALONE KNOW MY HEART. HELP ME LET GO OF THE THINGS IN MY HEART THAT ARE NOT OF YOU. HELP ME REMEMBER YOUR TRUTHS. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ALL THESE THINGS.

"BUT THE VERY HAIRS OF YOUR HEAD ARE ALL NUMBERED. SO DO NOT FEAR; YOU ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN MANY SPARROWS." *MATTHEW 10:30*


DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT GOD REALLY DOES CARE ABOUT YOU? ALL THE TIME? EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS? HE DOES. OH MY GOODNESS, HE DOES. I HAVE JUST BEEN REMINDED OF THIS, YET AGAIN. HOW QUICKLY I CAN FORGET GOD'S DEEP LOVE FOR ME. HIS CARE FOR ME, THAT NEVER STOPS. AS GOOD AS GOD'S PEOPLE ARE, AS GOOD AS HE MADE US, AS MUCH LOVE THAT WE CAN ALL GIVE.......IT'S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIS LOVE AND CARE. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE WORD "LOVINGKINDESS" THAT WE OFTEN READ IN THE OLD TESTAMENT? IT WASN'T A WORD AT ALL!!! THE HEBREW WORD FOR THIS WAS SUCH A DEEP WORD, DESCRIBING GOD'S LOVE AND CARE FOR US, THAT WE ACTUALLY HAD TO MAKE UP A WORD IN ENGLISH TO USE FOR THE ORIGINAL HEBREW MEANING. THAT'S A LOT OF LOVE!! I HAVE BEEN REMINDED LATELY THAT IF I CAN'T FIND SOMETHING THAT HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE, IF I AM STRESSED ABOUT LAUNDRY PILING UP, IF MY FEELINGS ARE HURT, IF I AM LONELY, IF I NEED SOMEONE, IF I STUB MY TOE, ANYTHING, EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS.......GOD DOES CARE. JUST THINK ABOUT THAT. WHEN DYLAN COMES TO ME TEARY EYED, AND HE CAN'T FIND HIS BELOVED BEAR-BEAR THAT HE SLEEPS WITH, I DON'T SAY, "TOUGH LUCK, GO TO BED ANYWAY AND GET OVER IT!"....NO, HOW INSENSITIVE!! I IMMEDIATELY LET HIM KNOW I CARE AND HELP HIM LOOK FOR THAT SWEET LITTLE BEAR. (WHICH BY THE WAY, HIS NANA GOT FOR HIM, SHE ALWAYS GOT THE "COMFORT BLANKETS" FOR THE GRANDKIDS.) BECAUSE I LOVE HIM, I CARE ABOUT HIM, I CARE ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T SUCH A BIG DEAL TO ME, IT IS TO HIM. IF ONLY I DID THIS MORE OFTEN WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN MY LIFE!! I NEEDED TO BE REMINDED OF GOD'S LOVE AND CARE FOR ME OVER THE PAST SEVERAL DAYS, I HOPE I HAVE REMINDED YOU.

"FOR THE LORD IS GOOD; HIS LOVINGKINDNESS IS EVERLASTING AND HIS FAITHFULNESS TO ALL GENERATIONS." *PSALM 100:5*

MOTHERHOOD AND OTHER THINGS.

1. WE ALL STAYED UP LATE TONIGHT (THAT’S A BIG DEAL IN OUR HOUSE…WE EVEN PLAYED CANDY LAND!!) YAY!! WHILE WE WERE GETTING READY TO PLAY, DYLAN LOOKED UP AT ME AND GIGGLED AND SAID, “YOU’RE SHORT”…..I REPLIED, “HEY, WHAT MADE YOU SAY THAT TO ME? WHO TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT?”….HE SAID, “NOBODY TOLD ME, I LOOKED AT YOU. YOU’RE SHORT!”. HAHAHA. IT’S TRUE. BUT HE’S STILL SHORTER, SO FAR.
2. I HAD HIM PRACTICE READING SENTENCES TODAY OUT OF OUR MCGUFFEY READERS. WE DID IT RIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME. HE NAILED EVERY WORD, I WAS SO PROUD!! HE FELL ASLEEP ON ME, SO ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES LATER (BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO PUT THEIR BABY IN BED WHEN THEY’RE ASLEEP ON YOU? THAT’S THE SWEETEST THING IN THE WORLD!)…I PUT HIM IN BED. HE WAS OUT. I TUCKED HIM IN AND I HEARD HIM SAY SOMETHING, I KEPT LISTENING AND HE WAS SAYING, “H-H-HUT”. ALL THE WHILE, REMAINING FAST ASLEEP. HAHAHA. THAT’S JUST TOO CUTE.
3. I GOT NEW BRAS THE OTHER DAY. MAN, I’M MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE. AND THEY’RE PRETTY, TOO.
4. OUR CLOSEST FRIENDS FROM OKLAHOMA CAME TO VISIT US THIS WEEK, AND IT WAS SO AMAZING. WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN. I WAS PRETTY EMOTIONAL WHEN THEY LEFT. WE HAVE BEEN MISSING THEM SINCE WE LEFT OKLAHOMA. ANYHOW, THEIR LITTLEST ONE IS A GIRL, AND DYLAN KEPT EITHER GIVING HER TOYS OR HITTING HER. SO ONE TIME I TOOK HIM ASIDE AGAIN TO DISCIPLINE HIM, I SAID, “WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU HITTING THAT LITTLE GIRL?”….HE LOOKED AT ME WITH BIG, SAD EYES AND SAID, “BECAUSE I LIKE HER!”….. AWE, PUPPYLOVE.
5. THE LORD GIVETH AND THE LORD TAKETH AWAY…….WE WERE BLESSED WITH A WONDERFUL SUMMER JOB, LOTS OF EXTRA MONEY. BUT IT WAS CUT WAAAAAAAAAY SHORT. DARRYL WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT UNTIL THE END OF AUGUST. BUT IT ENDED THIS WEEK. NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT, BUT IT STILL STINKS. WE WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO ACTUALLY “GETTING AHEAD” FOR ONCE. SUCH IS LIFE. PLEASE PRAY FOR US. I’D APPRECIATE IT.
6. I HAD SUCH AN AMAZING TIME WITH KELI. WE WERE JUST TALKING AND TALKING AND STAYING UP UNTIL WAAAAAAAY TOO LATE. AND OF COURSE, DARRYL AND ZACK WERE EITHER BLOWING UP FIREWORKS OR PLAYING XBOX. SO, THEY “BONDED” TOO, I GUESS. GUYS ARE HILARIOUS.
7. MY DADDY’S COMING TOMORROW!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! I LOVE THAT MEXICAN MAN SO MUCH, AND I WISH HE’D GO AHEAD AND MOVE HERE!!!
8. I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS HOW MUCH I’VE BEEN MISSING MY FRIENDS WHO WE LIVE AWAY FROM. I WISH I COULD SEE YOU ALL, IT’S PRETTY LONELY OUT HERE AT TIMES. HOPEFULLY MY SISTER AND HER FAMILY ARE COMING TOMORROW, THAT’D BE AWESOME.
9. WE WATCHED WALL-E LAST WEEKEND, IT WAS VERY, VERY GOOD. DYLAN CRACKED UP THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. AND THE MESSAGE OF THE MOVIE WAS GREAT. ALSO, DARRYL AND I SAW THE NEW HULK MOVIE. VERY IMPRESSIVE. LOVED IT. (WE HAD FOUR FREE MOVIE TICKETS, HENCE THE MOVIE-GOING.)
10. WE LIVE NEAR A DRIVE IN, AND I CAN’T WAIT TO GO BACK TO SEE ANOTHER FLICK. I JUST LIKE THE FEELING OF WATCHING A MOVIE IN YOUR VEHICLE IN THE HOT WEATHER, SWATTING ALL THE BUGS…..AH, SUMMER FUN. HOPE EVERYONE’S ENJOYING THEIR SUMMER.

OF LIFE.

1. OUR ANNIVERSARY ROCKED. AND WHAT WAS SO NEAT IS THAT I REALIZED EVERDAY WITH MY HUSBAND ROCKS.......THEY ALL FEEL AMAZING.

2. IN SPITE OF THAT, THOUGH, MY HEART IS HEAVY AT THE MOMENT, I'VE GOT A LOT ON MY MIND...PLEASE PRAY FOR ME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

3. I AM THOROUGHLY CONVINCED THAT OFTENTIMES PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT ADVICE, THEY WANT YOU TO TELL THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR. AND USUALLY, IT'S NOT WHAT THEY NEED TO HEAR. AND IF YOU LOVE THEM ENOUGH TO TELL THEM WHAT THEY NEED TO HEAR, THEY STILL DON'T LISTEN. *I THINK WE'VE ALL DONE THIS*

4. I GET TO SEE MY DADDY THIS WEEKEND. AND I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

5. SOMEONE I LOVE VERY MUCH IS GIVING ME A SEWING MACHINE, AND I AM SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT!!

6. OUR CLOSE FRIENDS THAT WE ALWAYS MISS ARE COMING TO SEE US TOMORROW, AND I CAN'T WAIT!!

7. AGAIN, MY FAVORITE NUMBER.

8. I AM ADDICTED TO MAKING LISTS AND SCHEDULES.

9. DYLAN GOT A HAIRCUT TODAY, AND THE LADY DID IT WAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO SHORT.

10. RIGHT NOW I WISH I HAD SATELLITE SO I COULD WATCH "JON AND KATE PLUS 8".

11. I CAN'T GET THE NURSERY RHYME "HOT CROSS BUNS" OUT OF MY HEAD.

12. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING, I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT. WE'VE BEEN DOING IT SINCE DYLAN WAS BORN, (AS MOST PARENTS DO), BUT NOW HE'S GETTING TO WHERE HE ALWAYS WANTS TO "DO SCHOOL"....ALWAYS ASKING ABOUT EVERYTHING. I LOVE TO SEE THAT IN MY LITTLE BABY BOY. HE'S JUST SO DARN WONDERFUL.

13. I MISS MY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW.

14. I EITHER NEED TO DRINK SOME COFFEE OR GO TO SLEEP.......ALTHOUGH I LOVE THE GOOD STUFF, I'M GOING TO BED. NIGHT NIGHT, PEOPLE.

P.S. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD MAKE A BOOK OUT OF YOUR BLOG? HOLY COW!! I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THAT.

I WILL BE ENJOYING A NIGHT AWAY WITH THAT HOT MAN OF MINE THIS WEEKEND, CELEBRATING OUR FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING…HE WON’T TELL ME. IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE FIVE YEARS AT ALL….IT SEEMS AS IF I JUST MET HIM. LET ME JUST SAY, IT IS BEYOND WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW AMAZING A MAN MY HUSBAND IS. I DO NOT FEEL DESERVING OF HIM AT ALL. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT I MAKE HIM EVEN HALF AS HAPPY AS HE MAKES ME.

“HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER…”
*EPHESIANS*

HE'D BE SO PROUD:


Which TV Mom Are You?
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Jessica, your TV Mom is Marge Simpson
You are Marge from The Simpsons. You may not share Marge's blue bouffant, but you do share her animated style of mothering. Sometimes the pressures of maintaining a happy home may push you toward the edge, but at the end of the day, you believe in your children wholeheartedly, even when they're being rather, um, spirited.You encourage your kids' creativity and individuality, whether that means watching them perform the saxophone or helping them raise exotic lizards. You may sometimes say things that sound like old-fashioned parenting clichés, but when it comes down to dealing with domestic disasters, you can be a pretty together, modern mama.

THIS SISTER OF MINE IS BY FAR ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING PEOPLE I KNOW. SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW MUCH HER LITTLE SISTER HAS ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO HER. EVEN NOW, THAT I'M ALL GROWN UP. (WELL, SOME WOULD ARGUE I'M NOT GROWN UP.......AND THEY MAY BE RIGHT... :) ANYHOW, SHE IS WONDERFUL. SHE'S ALWAYS AN EAR WHEN I NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN. IF YOU'RE ONE OF MY READERS, PLEASE HOP ON OVER AND TELL HER HI! I HOPE TO PUT UP WEDDING PHOTOS SOON, AND TO GIVE A GOOD GLIMPSE INTO OUR HOMESCHOOL. SO, THERE'S SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. *I KNOW, YOU'RE ALL SITTING AT THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS AND YOU CAN'T WAIT, RIGHT.....?????!!!*

A LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

AS I WAS GOING ABOUT MY DAY RECENTLY, IT WAS JUST “ONE OF THOSE DAYS”. I WAS NOT BEHAVING IN A VERY……BECOMING MANNER, WE’LL CALL IT. AS I WAS GOING ALONG, HAVING A ROTTEN ATTITUDE, (HEY, IT HAPPENS) I CAUGHT MYSELF. I SUDDENLY THOUGHT, “JESSICA, YOU BETTER BEHAVE. GOD WILL NEVER ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS IF YOU’RE BEHAVING THIS WAY! HE SIMPLY WON’T HEAR YOU IF YOU’RE NOT DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!”……….NOW, GO BACK AND READ THAT BOLD PART AGAIN. GO AHEAD, READ IT.

YEAH, NOW HOW MANY HOLES ARE IN THAT THOUGHT? I CAN’T BELIEVE I THOUGHT THAT, FOR EVEN A SECOND!!!!!!! WHAT A HORRIBLE, FEAR-BASED, ARROGANT, SELF-RIGHTEOUS, ROTTEN WAY TO THINK!!! LORD, FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME FOR THINKING THAT I CAN EARN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO GIVE. EVEN IF I THOUGHT IT FOR ONLY A MINUTE….I STILL THOUGHT IT. I THOUGHT THAT I COULD PRAY AND FAST MY WAY INTO YOUR BLESSINGS. AND THAT’S NOT HOW YOU WORK. YOU’RE NOT A MAGIC GENIE WHO WILL BLESS ME WHEN I’M DOING RIGHT AND CURSE ME WHEN I’M DOING WRONG. I DON’T DESERVE ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME, FATHER. NOT A THING. YOU CAUSE IT TO RAIN ON THE JUST AND THE UNJUST. THANK YOU FOR NEVER GIVING ME WHAT I DESERVE, OR GIVING ANYONE ELSE WHAT THEY DESERVE…….BECAUSE IF YOU DID, WE’D ALL BE IN TROUBLE. MANY WHO DON’T KNOW YOU EXPERIENCE THE WONDERFUL BLESSINGS YOU OFFER……AND MANY WHO FOLLOW FAITHFULLY NEVER GET TO SEE WONDERFUL BLESSINGS HERE. WE DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. AND I’M SO SORRY FOR THINKING I CAN “GET ON YOUR GOOD SIDE” AND BE REWARDED FOR BEHAVING HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE!!! AND LORD, HELP YOUR PEOPLE HERE IN AMERICA---THEY STINK OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUDGMENT. HELP US TRULY KNOW YOU, SO WE CAN TRULY MAKE YOU KNOWN.

"THEREFORE THERE IS NOW NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS. FOR THE LAW OF THE SPIRIT OF LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS HAS SET YOU FREE FROM THE LAW OF SIN AND OF DEATH...............................................................................

FOR YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED A SPIRIT OF SLAVERY LEADING TO FEAR AGAIN, BUT YOU HAVE RECEIVED A SPIRIT OF ADOPTION AS SONS BY WHICH WE CRY OUT, 'ABBA! FATHER!' THE SPIRIT HIMSELF TESTIFIES WITH OUR SPIRIT THAT WE ARE CHILDREN OF GOD...................................................................................................................

IN THE SAME WAY THE SPIRIT ALSO HELPS OUR WEAKNESS; FOR WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PRAY AS WE SHOULD, BUT THE SPIRIT HIMSELF INTERCEDES FOR US WITH GROANINGS TOO DEEP FOR WORDS; AND HE WHO SEARCHES THE HEARTS KNOWS WHAT THE MIND OF THE SPIRIT IS, BECAUSE HE INTERCEDES FOR THE SAINTS ACCORDING TO THE WILL OF GOD."

*ROMANS 8:1-2, 15-16, & 26-27*

MOTHERING A SON.

IF SOMEONE WOULD'VE TOLD ME TEN YEARS AGO THAT I'D HAVE A SON, I'D LAUGH AS LOUD AS I COULD IN DISBELIEF. I GREW UP WITH A SISTER (EIGHT YEARS MY SENIOR) AND KNEW NOTHING ABOUT BOYS. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM? HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM? WHAT CAN I OFFER A LITTLE BABY BOY? AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I STILL WONDER SOMETIMES. BECAUSE HONESTLY, I HAVE LEARNED MORE ABOUT GOD IN THE PAST THREE YEARS THAN I THINK I EVER HAVE. THIS LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY TEACHES ME MORE EVERYDAY THAN I EVER COULD HAVE DREAMED OF LEARNING. WHEN I'M TRYING TO "TEACH" HIM, IT OFTEN HAPPENS THE OTHER WAY AROUND. THE SECOND I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST WITH HIM, I KNEW I WAS HAVING A BOY. AS DARRYL WAS OVERFLOWING WITH EXCITEMENT AT THE FACT THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE A FATHER, I TOLD HIM, "IT'S A BOY"...AND HE THEN MENTIONED THAT I COULDN'T KNOW, YOU DON'T FIND OUT UNTIL SEVERAL MONTHS ALONG.....AND I SAID, "NO, GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOUR....I DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA ABOUT RAISING BOYS, AND I KNOW IT'LL BE A BOY....SO START THINKING OF NAMES". PRAISE THE LORD FOR LITTLE BOYS. OF COURSE I'D LOVE TO HAVE DAUGHTERS, BUT IF GOD CHOOSES TO JUST GIVE ME ONLY BOYS, I'LL LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. :)

I ALSO REMEMBER SAYING TO MY HUSBAND, "WELL, I'M OFF THE HOOK!". I WAS SEVERAL MONTHS PREGNANT, AND I JUST FELT RELIEVED THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE STRESS OF RAISING A DAUGHTER, OF WORRYING ABOUT WHETHER I'M TEACHING HER THE RIGHT THINGS OR NOT. MY HUSBAND ASKED WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. I REPLIED, "WELL, IT'S NOT A GIRL, SO ALL THE PRESSURE'S ON YOU!! HE'LL LEARN HOW TO BE A MAN FROM YOU, SO IT'S NOT GOING TO BE SO BURDENSOME ON ME". HOW SILLY OF ME TO THINK THAT, FOR EVEN A SECOND!!! HE QUICKLY RESPONDED, "YOU'RE NOT OFF THE HOOK AT ALL. OUR LITTLE BOY WILL NEED YOU TO MOTHER HIM, AND HE WILL NEED YOU TO LOOK AT TO KNOW WHAT A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER ARE SUPPOSED TO BE". SUDDENLY, ALL THE PRESSURE CAME RIGHT BACK ON MY SHOULDERS. THANK GOD FOR HIS GRACE, AND FOR THE FACT THAT OUR BABIES ALL TURN OUT FINE, OFTENTIMES IN SPITE OF THEIR MOTHERS AND FATHERS!! :)

MY BABYDADDY.

I WANT TO SHARE A SECRET WITH YOU.

***I HAVE SUCH A HUGE CRUSH ON MY HUSBAND.***

THERE, IT'S NO SECRET NOW. HE'S JUST SO HANDSOME, AND SO DARN CUTE. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN. HE STILL MAKES ME FEEL ALL "TINGLY" ON THE INSIDE WHEN HE GRABS MY HAND TO HOLD IT, OR HUGS ME. AND MY GOODNESS, WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A FATHER.......HE'S AMAZING. I AM SO HONORED TO CALL THIS MAN MY HUSBAND....AND MY BABYDADDY. AND, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I LIKE USING THE WORD "BABYDADDY".

MORE RANDOM THINGS.

1. SERIOUSLY, MY HUSBAND IS NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE ON ANOTHER TRIP FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME….OR MAYBE JUST NEVER AGAIN. THE BEAN AND I DO NOT DO WELL WITHOUT HIM FOR SO LONG. L GO AHEAD, PITY ME, I’LL LET YA’.
2. COUPLE DRAWBACKS TO LIVING IN THE COUNTRY ARE SEEING THINGS LIKE WOLF SPIDERS, FIFTY FOOT BEETLES, HEARING YOUR DOG BARKING AT NIGHT AT WHO KNOWS WHAT….A RACCOON, AN OPOSSUM, (IS IT “A” OR “AN” OPOSSUM…….HMMM….THERE’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT…), A FOX, OR A COYOTE. AND YOU MAY JUST NOTICE THAT YOU ACCIDENTALLY LEFT YOUR VAN DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT, AND AN ANIMAL WITH SEEMINGLY OPPOSABLE THUMBS GOT IN AND FINISHED OFF THE WHOLE OTHER HALF OF THAT 12 INCH CHICKEN/BACON/RANCH SUB…….TRUE STORY. EITHER AN ANIMAL OR BIGFOOT…WE’LL NEVER KNOW.
3. WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT COUNTRY LIVING: NO ANNOYING NOISES FROM NEIGHBORS, NOBODY REVVING THEIR ENGINES TO PROVE THEIR MASCULINITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND A BEAUTIFUL, OPEN NIGHT SKY TO VIEW.
4. I JUST SQUASHED THAT FIFTY FOOT BEETLE I FOUND IN MY KITCHEN…..I KINDA FELT BAD, POOR LIL’ THANG…..YEAH, THEN THAT FEELING PASSED.
5. WE NEED A KING SIZED BED. IF YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND, HE’S 6’8” TALL….(HE CLAIMS 6’7”….BECAUSE I THINK HE’S ASHAMED OF THAT LAST INCH…..BUT I SAY TREASURE YOUR HEIGHT!! THERE ARE THOSE OF US WHO DON’T HAVE THAT!)….NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE’S BEEN USED TO HIS FEET HANGING OFF THE BED SINCE HE WAS ABOUT 16. I’D LIKE TO FIX THAT PROBLEM FOR HIM…….TAX RETURN CHECK, I ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU!!!
6. I FOUND A LADY’S BLOG WHO HAS 25 CHILDREN….SOME OF THEM HER OWN BIOLOGICAL ONES, THE OTHER ONES ADOPTED. I ENVIED HER. AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO…….UNTIL I HAVE 25 OF MY OWN. I KNOW, I’M CRAZY. I’M JUST A MEXICAN MOMMA WHO’S GOT A LOT OF MOMMA LOVE TO GIVE!!!
7. THIS IS MY FAVORITE NUMBER.
8. I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH GARBANZO BEANS, OR “CHICK PEAS”.
9. SOME MUST-HAVES IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW ARE H20 AND NESCAFE COFFEE DRINK….YOU ADD IT TO MILK AND IT MAKES YOU SMILE AFTERWARDS….AND IT HAS CAFFEINE…..WHICH ALSO BRINGS A SMILE!!!
10. I LOVE MY SON. SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN I LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH? DARRYL AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY, HOW ON EARTH IS IT POSSIBLE TO LOVE SOMEONE IN SUCH AN INDESCRIBABLE WAY? I DON’T GET IT. SAME WITH MY LOVE FOR MY GENTLE GIANT OF A HUSBAND. IT’S ALL JUST TOO BIG TO MEASURE. (THAT’S WHAT DYLAN TELLS ME…I SAY, “HOW MUCH DOES MOMMY LOVE YOU?”….AND HE SAYS, “IT’S TOO BIG TO MEASURE!!”.)
11. I AM IN LOVE WITH THE NAME JUDY JO FOR WHEN WE HAVE A GIRL. BUT I CAN’T NAME HER THAT, BECAUSE MY MOMMA SAID IT SOUNDED TOO HICK!!! AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN AFTER HER!!! OH WELL, I’VE ALREADY GOT NAMES PICKED OUT FOR THE NEXT FOUR.
12. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY MISS BEING AROUND MY FRIENDS.
13. I MET A REALLY SWEET, AMAZING FRIEND ONLINE, AND ONE DAY, WE’RE GONNA MEET EACH OTHER!!! *HI, ANDREA!!*
14. I’M ONLY TYPING NOW BECAUSE I HAVE TO FINISH THIS LIST ON A NUMBER WITH ‘7’ IN IT.
15. I LIKE COFFEE.
16. MEXICAN POWER.
17. JESUS LOVES YOU. NOW, THERE’S A GOOD NOTE TO END ON. DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.