STILL HONEYMOONING.

I realize I posted this picture at the end of last month. I really like it. Sue me. ;)

Marriage is a beautiful thing. I love being married. So much that I couldn't even begin to describe it to you if I tried. I'm not sure if there's a word to explain the "love" between my husband and myself. But I do know this; God is love. It all starts with Him. I know that my husband loves me so much because he is constantly showing me. LOVE IS A VERB. We see that in the Cross and the Resurrection. Love always puts the other's needs ahead of it's own. Love doesn't treat any human like an object. Love is wonderful.

When My Love and I were going through a class for engaged couples and newlyweds, we were all asked a question, "How long will your honeymoon be?"....I immediately said, "We'll always be on our honeymoon, it will never end!!" Admittedly, I'm a bit of a cheese, but I meant that. It is such an honour for me to be able to spend the life I've been given with my husband. And it's because he knows how to love me.......and only me. And YES, we're still on our honeymoon.

There are many people who do what's right when everyone's looking, and do what is completely wrong when they are alone--whether it be something with their actions, inactions, words, or even their own thoughts. Should we do what is right simply out of fear? Because we're afraid of what would happen if we got caught? Should we do what is right because someone has manipulated us into it? Should we do what is right because "Momma says so".....or is there more to it? I think about this so much as a Mother. I want Dylan to do what is right because he wants to, because that is what is in his heart. I want him to do what is right because he loves God, and he loves the people God created. I don't want him to do the right thing because he's afraid Momma and Daddy will catch him and send him to time-out, or take his toys away for a brief time. I don't want to manipulate him into doing what is right, because if I do that, what happens to him when he's a grown man? I talk about this stuff with him many times throughout the weeks. Yes, he's only four years old, but he thinks an awful lot. And I want him to understand that God loves him, and that is reason enough to do the right thing---even when nobody will know the difference.


Do we do the right thing? Do we ALWAYS do the right thing, or do we do what is the EASY thing? Do we want to do the right thing out of fear? Do we want to do the right thing because we think we deserve a medal for doing so? Do we do the right thing because we're self-righteous? If these are our reasons, then trust me, they won't last. Eventually we will find out that those reasons are not good enough to base one's life on.


Christ didn't take the easy road. If He had done what everyone else wanted, He couldn't have accomplished all the things He was sent to earth in the flesh to do. But He still did the very hard things, the things that cost him friends, brought scrutiny, and cost Him His very life.



Have you been doing the right thing? What is your motivation? Fear, self-righteousness, or LOVE from God, and for Him, and all whom He created?



"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught." ~J.C. Watts



"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out." ~Thomas Babington Macaulay




"...but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people." -I Thessalonians 5:15b



"We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also." -I John 4:19-21-



*If you're wondering why I picked these particular verses, it's because everything hinges off of love. LOVE IS A VERB. God SHOWS his love for us, He doesn't just tell us. So in the same way we should understand His love, so we can ACTIVELY love Him, ourselves, and one another. That is when doing what is right comes easily to us, though it may not be the easy thing to do, we shouldn't have to think twice. It will happen automatically when it comes from a place called LOVE.

IT'S NEVER EASY.

We were NEVER promised that life would be easy. We were also never promised that we'd have an abundance of friends and family with us through the hard times. Sometimes it's just lonely. Sometimes there's nothing we can do about it, though we try with all our might. Sometimes life is full of storms, and it has nothing to do with what you have or have not done. If you've experienced a time like this, or are right now, I hope you're as encouraged by these verses as I am. There are times in life when one doesn't need anything but another warm body to listen to them, to cry with them, to sit silently with them through the storms that may last longer than expected. These are the times when God's children should not show you judgment and scorn, but instead; comfort, understanding, and hope............

"But God, who comforts the depressed,..." -II Corinthians 7:6

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." -Romans 12:15-

"Jesus wept." -John 11:35-

"For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." -II Corinthians 1:5-

"...Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" -Job 2:10b-

"In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider---God has made the one as well as the other so that man will not discover anything that will be after him." -Ecclesiastes 7:14-

"Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both good and ill go forth?" -Lamentations 3:38-

"Trouble and anguish have come upon me, yet Your commandments are my delight." -Psalm 119:143-

"My soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Your Word." -Psalm 119:28-

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." -Psalm 27:13-

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry for help before Him came into His ears." -Psalm 18:6-

".......You have been the helper of the orphan." -Psalm 10:14b-

"He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark." -Psalm 91:4-

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." -Matthew 5:4-

"Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." -I Peter 5:7-

"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil," -Hebrews 6:19-

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28-

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." -John 16:33-

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not grow weary." -Galatians 6:9-

"For I hope in You, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord my God." -Psalm 38:15-

"And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You." -Psalm 39:7-

THINGS SOMETIMES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
MY BREATH CAN BE TAKEN AWAY
SO GOOD IN EVERY ASPECT,
IN THAT MOMENT, I WISH I COULD STAY.

BEAUTY IN A KISS FROM THE
SWEETEST MAN I KNOW,
BEAUTY IN THE FRESH SMELL OF RAIN
AND AFTERWARDS THE RAINBOW.

AND THEN SOMETIMES LIFE SEEMS
TO TAKE A TURN AROUND
IT SEEMS LIKE I CAN’T GET MY HEAD
OUT FROM UNDERGROUND.

DEATH HAPPENS, TRAGEDY COMES
IN SO MANY WAYS TO SAY
SO MUCH HURT I’VE SEEN AROUND ME
SOMETIMES I SEE IT EVERYDAY.

I CRY, I HURT, I MOURN,
AND WHEN THAT TIME PASSES, I SEE
THAT SO MUCH HURT IS AFFECTING OTHERS,
AND NOT ONLY ME.

SO I WAIT, I PRAY, I CRY
FOR THE DAY TO ARRIVE
WHEN EVERY PERSON AND EVERY LIVING THING
WILL BE GIVEN BRAND NEW LIFE.

AND IN THE DAY I HOPE FOR,
DEATH WILL HAVE NO SAY,
TEARS WILL BE WIPED FROM THE ONLY ONE
WHO WILL NEVER GO AWAY.

POVERTY WILL VANQUISH,
HORRIBLE THINGS ALL DISAPPEAR,
NO MORE WORRIES ABOUT ANYTHING,
BECAUSE OUR MAKER WILL BE HERE.

EVERYTHING BROKEN WILL BE FIXED
IN THE BLINKING OF AN EYE.
NOTHING HERE IN THIS WORLD CAN DO THAT-
EVEN AS HARD AS I MAY TRY.

SO MANY THINGS I COULD HOPE IN HERE
A DOCTRINE, A JOB, A CAUSE, A MAN…
BUT THEY ALL SEEM SO EMPTY
WHEN I SEE MY LORD’S OUTSTRETCHED HAND.

SO AS LIFE KEEPS HAPPENING AROUND ME,
THE JOY, THE PAIN, THE SORROW, THE GLADNESS,
I’LL REMEMBER THAT HE SAID ONE DAY
HE’LL TAKE AWAY ALL THIS MADNESS.

JESSICA SCHAFER
April 18, 2008

I won’t pretend I have the answers,
For You know how clueless I am.
I’ll just keep holding my arm out,
Letting you lead me by the hand.

I won’t pretend that I’m not hurting while
I’m living through sorrow and doubt…
But I will keep coming to you,
While life is so hard to figure out.

I won’t find another substitute to make
Myself feel better for a little while…
I will continue to lay myself at your feet
I will not let myself live in denial.

I will keep hoping though everything
In life sometimes seems full of despair…
I’ll keep asking You to come and act,
I’ll keep giving You every care.

Though things may spiral downward,
And loneliness is always near,
I’ll keep holding onto hope in You…
I’ll keep trying to let go of fear.

Though I’m told by others, and often myself
That it’s foolish to trust in You…
I’ll remember the truth of Your Word,
And that I’m nothing without You.

And though your children may continue to hate,
Though they bring no comfort, hope, or peace,
Though they may keep tearing down Your works,
I’ll trust in You for both mine and their release.

Though it seems today that Your followers
Are spreading nothing but disunity and hate,
I’ll still pray for them--myself, included-
Because I know with You, it’s never too late.

Even when there are days I feel a very little piece
Of what Job felt years ago…..
I will keep hoping in You, My Lord,
You’re the Only One who really knows.

Though I come to you empty-handed
With nothing at all but myself to give,
I’ll keep waiting on you to deliver me,
For it’s because of You that I live.

J.N.S. 07-04-09

Six years ago my life changed.

My husband and I became one. On that day, I never believed I had any room left to love him any more than I already did.....but I was mistaken. I love him more today than I did then. He makes me laugh. He loves me so intensely, so whole-heartedly, so lovely. He loves me not with just mere words....but with his very being, his whole self. He loves me even when I am not so lovely to him. My heart is so full, so satisfied with this man that God gave me. We wake up everyday, and enjoy our marriage, our family. Life has brought many heartaches, beyond our control....especially over the last year and a half in dealing with The Great Sadness. He has been my soft place to land when I needed comfort and encouragement....when I needed someone to just hear me cry. I LOVE YOU, Darryl. I have many nicknames for you. But my favorite one is "My Love."

Ephesians 5:25 reads: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her"

This man has loved me in such a way, everyday, without question. My Momma loved him so much for a reason. My Daddy told me when we first started dating that he'd been praying that God would send me my husband, and that he'd be a godly man. Thanks, Daddy. Your prayers were heard.

Happy anniversary, My Love. Loving you comes so easily.

HAPPY DADDY DAY!!

Depressed One.

This post is for anybody, young or old, single or married, with or without children.....any person who has or is dealing with depression. Whether it's been brought on by a death, loss of a job, divorce, loss of a friendship, loss of a relationship, tragedy, postpartum depression, or even if you have no idea why.......I want to share some things with you.

Someone I love very much told me just several weeks ago that she felt "stupid" for even being depressed. She feels stupid that she has to take medication for her depression. (Which, by the way, sometimes some people need medication for a while.) She feels that since she's a Christian, she shouldn't be depressed.....but in reality, it's other people......GOD'S CHILDREN.....who have made her feel stupid. They may have told her things like "well, if you know God, he wants you to be happy......well, just keep on the bright side, and you'll get over it........are you sure you even KNOW the Lord, because maybe if you did you wouldn't be depressed...". (Which makes me want to scream out loud, because those things aren't true!!!) She's done nothing wrong. She is hurting, she is very discouraged, she is sad, she is lonely. This has been heavy on my heart for sometime now. It has made me think about everyone else who may be feeling these same horrible feelings about themselves, on top of already being depressed, which is such a hard thing, itself. For my friend that I love dearly, and anyone else who is burdened with carrying this, these words are for you.

* You're not stupid. You're not useless. You're not alone. You're not "less of" a Christian. (what an oxymoron)

You're going through something that needs to be dealt with. It may be easy for a time to push depression aside, but it will be much harder to deal with later if it's not dealt with now. You may even feel like you're a "loser" if you even entertain the notion that you're depressed. But sometimes, it happens. You may be depressed for a long time, or for a short time.....but you are not alone.

I want you to know something, God is with you. Though He may even be the one you're angry with, He is with you. I do NOT think He thinks you are a failure for being depressed. I encourage you to read the book of Psalms. Lamentations. There are more verses than I could even list that would bring comfort and hope to you through these dark times. Jesus, himself, said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." (Matthew 5:4) II Corinthians 7:6 reads, "But God, who comforts the depressed,.....". If we are told in His word that those who are mourning or depressed are comforted........are we really to assume that He sees those same people as failures? Are we really to assume that He's comforting those that need it, but thinking, "You know, you should really get over it, keep your head up, think about positive things, just smile...."??!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! One of the ladies in our Bible study said something that has stuck in my head for weeks now. She said when we're going through hard things in life, people may say, "Well, look at all the good things you have.".....but that doesn't fix the problem!!! She said that sometimes in life, there will be things happening that are so bad, the good probably won't outweigh the things that the person are depressed about. And I think she's onto something. Think about it. If I were to lose both of my legs and weren't able to walk, telling me, "Hey, Jess, you still have your arms!".......I'm not sure that'd make me that happy. And you'd better be glad I didn't have legs to run after you after telling me something that insensitive!!! :) I doubt that when Christ was carrying that cross a long time ago, that God was telling him "Pick your head up, things could be worse!". Isn't that what we do? Come on, I'll admit that there are times I've done that. Sometimes it's too hard to talk about the horrible things going on in someone's life, so we try to let them see the good. And yes, there's something to be said for that, but it hardly EVER brings lasting comfort or hope. A very wise lady here at my church, who now has great-grandchildren, told me a story that still sends chills down my spine. She and I were talking about grief, and how many people in the church are insensitive to other people's grief. She said she had a friend who had a miscarriage years ago. Her sweet child was no longer here anymore. MANY people told her things like, "Well, at least you have your other kids!......well, maybe something was wrong with the baby, so.........". I couldn't believe that!! I had a hard time even typing those words, let alone knowing they were told to a grieving Mother! And times like that, comments like that, told to people hurting for whatever reason, are where the loneliness begins, the depression sets in. To people who are hurting, they need comfort. They need hope, yes....but comfort. Jesus, himself wept. If THE LORD, the One who created everything and everyone, wept with those whom He loved, ....why don't His children do this more often? My friend, whatever it is that has you down, you are not alone. You are not worthless. You are loved. And Jesus, Himself, says you are comforted.

Sheila Walsh, one of my favorite authors and speakers, has a book titled, "The Heartache No One Sees". (It is a great read, I highly recommend it.) She talks about Job, and how his friends weren't really his friends during his time of grieving. We read in Job that his friends were there for him for a period of time....and then when he started speaking up about his pain, they immediately started pointing the finger of blame at him. They pretty much said things to him that insinuated maybe HE did something wrong.....SURELY God was punishing him, otherwise things would be going better. IN HIS PAIN. IN HIS MOURNING. IN HIS DEPRESSION....the very ones he hoped would comfort him only rubbed more salt into his wounds. I have been there before, many times. I am sure you have, too.....or you know someone who has.

Hurting one, alone one, mourning one, grieving one, angry one, hopeless one, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The book of Psalms tells us that He keeps our very tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), that is how precious we are to Him always.....even in our hurting, yes, even in our depression. Talk about what you are feeling. Even if, like Job, nobody else will listen, HE WILL. We are to come before HIM in truth. All the time, even when things are dark and seem hopeless. If we don't START off in truth when we come to Him, when we gather with one another, how in the world do we expect to end up in truth?

People can be REALLY good about rejoicing with those who are rejoicing....but let's not forget the other part of that verse......."Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

If you are depressed, relish in His comfort. Hope in Him. Don't look for a quick fix, trying to ignore the reality, or some band-aid that temporarily "fixes" you. He is our Hope. No matter your situation, or how you got there, whether you did it to yourself, or life has simply happened around you.....HE is your hope. And depressed one, He says He comforts you.

*Quotes from my babylove from today.*

“Dylan, look at all those cows!! I wonder why they’re all meeting together?!? Do you think they’re saying they’re in a bad mooo-oooood?”….he responded, “Hey, Mommy! I bet they’re having a deacon’s meeting!” (Can you tell he’s a Pastor’s child? haha)

“Wouldn’t you rather go to Incredible Pizza instead of the zoo, since it’s so hot today?”…..after thinking for a moment he proclaimed, ”No, Mommy, I’m really cold right now, and I need to be warmed up, so we should go to the zoo.” (It was 90 degrees today……..I doubt he was cold, but he sure is clever.)

“Mommy, you’re just the greatest mommy, greater than all the other mommies!.........Are you gonna cry now, since I said that?” (Because I usually cry when he tells me something sweet.)

At the zoo today: “Look, the storks!!! Hi, storks!!!! Thank you soooooooooo very much for taking me to my Mommy and Daddy!! Thank you!”

"Daddy, you have the longest, most magnificent arms ever!"

That is what my handsome lil' son exclaimed proudly to his Daddy today. He has no idea how right he is. You see, I FULLY agree. For more reasons than one. Lately, for many reasons, marriage has been at the forefront of my mind. I've seen a lot, watched loved friends go through a lot of hurt in their marriages, my Biffuh got married two months ago, another close friend of ours is getting married next month, and sadly, I watched my Daddy lose his best friend, his lover, not even a year and a half ago. Lately, we've had the honour to talk with a couple of our dear friends who are marrying one another this weekend. Also, my giant husband and I will be celebrating six amazing years of marriage this month. So you see, marriage keeps coming up.

I say all that to say this; life can carry a lot of hurt. So much that it is IMPOSSIBLE to carry alone. We are called, children of God, to bear one another's burdens. We read in the New Testament to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and weep with those who are mourning. If there has ever been a husband that does this very thing, I can say without hesitation it is my wonderful husband. He has watched me go from this bubbly, super-excited, not able to stand still, smiling all the time woman to what seems to be a little girl of ten again.....carrying burdens that I haven't chosen to carry, yet they've been placed in my life for reasons I'll never know. Everyone, I'm sure, can understand burdens like this. And those arms of his, those loving arms have been the ones that have held me up when I didn't have my own two feet to stand on. The comfort he has shown me, and I'm sure will continue to show me because we all know grief comes in spurts throughout life, has been beyond what words can describe. I can honestly say I don't know where I'd be today if I didn't have him to lean on through what I've lived through over the past year and a half. Marriage. It can be so wonderful. I am so thankful for this man, who gives me heavenly glimpses, for lack of a less-cheesier term, of my Lord.

My love, my best friend, the one who has been so comforting to me.....you DO have "the longest, most magnificent arms ever." I need those arms.

What bliss there is in not dealing with reality.

My wonderful little babyboy had such a wonderful relationship with his Nana. Nobody, to this day, could make him light up like she did. He had just turned three when The Deep Sadness happened. So, of course, he hasn't been able to understand yet what is going on. He still wants to call her, he still prays for her everyday, he still says "I miss Nana" on a daily basis. Soon he'll inevitably learn reality. For now, he's able to fly through these tender years of his life, not having to carry the grief that has fallen on the rest of us.

What a wonderful thing. There are many days that I wish I could just "turn it off". That I could just pretend nothing happened, that My Momma is still here. That I could just shove all the grief, sorrow, and mourning into a neat little box and tuck it away. That I could just consume myself with the busy-ness of life and never have to deal with what has been handed to me. I could. I've wanted to many times. Many people do this, and for a time....it may work. But one day, we have to live through what it is that God has placed us in. It may be today....it may be twenty years from today. But we will.

Two of my greatest faults in any kind of relationship I have are being too trusting and being too transparent. I give my heart away so freely....and many times, I end up getting hurt. I have learned throughout life that I have to guard myself. I have had to apologize to myself for that. But being too trusting and transparent with My Lord, I WILL NEVER apologize for. It's how I am. It's how He made me. I have been face to face with sorrows beyond belief many times over the past three years....the main one being losing My Momma. And ignoring the realities around me would definitely have put me in an awful place by now. I thank God for listening to me. I thank Him for listening to me complain, cry, mourn.....and for allowing me to actually worship Him through my complaint!! WHAT?!?!? Yes, I said it. From what I read in scripture, Old and New Testament, beginning to end.......I have NO IDEA why people think it's just an abomination to complain to our Lord. Read the Psalms. Read the Old Testament. Read the New Testament. Look at Jesus' life!!!

I find comfort in knowing I can offer my hopes, my dreams, my mourning, my complaining, my sorrows, my joys......everything to My Lord. I believe He finds it good. He made me, He knows me. Why hide?

There is still this mindset within the church of America that "well, if you just work hard enough........or.........if you just think good thoughts.......or say good things........good will happen". Don't buy into it. First of all, it's not even Biblical. (HELLO.....look at Jesus' very own life!) Second of all, what many American Christians live for nowadays, what we see as "Gawd-s hand blessin' us"....Christians in other countries will never see. Some even here will never see them. Those things, whatever they may be, are not our hope. Sorrows will probably happen. Death is a promise in this life. (Though the next one, it can't touch us!! AMEN??!?!) I refuse to ignore the realities that are around me. I will continue to love My Lord, to serve Him as best as I know how, to follow Him, to try and learn from Him everyday.......even if sorrow continues to abound. HE ALONE is my hope. Nothing here, no job, no thing, no person, no house, no idea, nothing else lasts.......HE ALONE is my HOPE. I will never try to find a cheap substitute that makes me "feel" better for a moment. Hallelujah, He is Hope.


"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ."
-II Corinthians 1:3-5-

Being a wife and a momma never ceases to amaze me. I think I have learned more about the Lord through my husband and my son than I ever knew before I had them in my life. I have much to learn, but I cherish every moment He gives me, and I hope change happens when I learn....I also hope the lessons continue.

One of my favorite lessons was earlier this year. My husband had just given our precious little one a wonderful new toy. It was some Star Wars toy....and I'm quite sure my husband got it because it was more precious to him than it would EVER be to our son. Just about a day after that, I discovered the toy was already missing one of it's parts. I quickly told my son he'd better find that piece as quickly as he can, or Daddy would NOT be very happy when he got home!!!! I could see the tiny little wheels turning in his head.......he thought for just a minute. Then with the sweetest smile on his face he looked up and said, "It's okay, Mommy! I will just hide the toy, and then Daddy won't find out, and he won't be angry!". WOW. Now, understand, he wasn't trying to be mean, in his little heart, he was just trying to make sure Daddy was happy. This particular time, it came from a good place. I quickly explained to our sweet little son that he should never hide things from us, he should always be able to talk with us about anything, even if we may get angry about what happened. I then tried to explain to him that we should always do what is right, even when nobody is looking.

And I have yet to get that story out of my head. Who am I? Who are you? What lurks in the dark corners of our minds, what goes on behind the closed doors of our hearts? What thing or things are we keeping from others....even those closest to us? That, my friend, is who we are. Is that who we want to be? Is there something we are holding onto that compels us to stay hidden?

I hope as I ask myself these questions that I am answering them honestly. I hope that those things nobody knows about are being changed in myself.....in yourself. I hope that when I read Proverbs 15:3, it brings great comfort and hope, not terror and the urge to hide myself.

Who am I? Who are you?

"The eyes of the LORD are in every place, watching the evil and the good."

-Proverbs 15:3-

**Conversations with my little Prince.**

*While I stared at him being silly in front of the big screen television, I said, "Were you staring at your bottom in the T.V.?"

He replied while laughing, "Yeah....you mean my butt!"...

"No, you don't use that word....."

Sensing he was in trouble, and quickly trying to fix it, he replied..."Oh, no, Momma, I meant the 'one-t' but!" (Yeah, right.....I'm sure you did.)

*Earlier this evening he came to me and said, "Momma, you're just the best mommy!!! Nobody else is a better Mommy, because you're just better than them all!!!"

I hope he always thinks that! :)

I wrote this for my Momma the last Mother's Day we had with her in 2007:

What is a Mom?

Is a mom someone to come to when it’s food our stomachs
crave?
Or is momma the one who comes to us-reminding us to
behave?
Is a mom someone who holds us when we scrape a tiny
knee?
And is she the one who comes running when we scream out,
“M-O-M-M-Y!”?
Is she the one who used to tuck me in when I would cry at
night?
Then she’d come in and tell me, “Everything will be
alright…”.
She works all day and runs the house, a wife, a mom,
a cook,
But still finds time to clean it all-from every cranny to every
nook.
Is a mom that lady who, somehow, can always make me
smile?
Is she the one who always says, “Come sit with me a
while.”?
Is a Mom someone I aspire to be more like
everyday?
From the way she laughs, to how she thinks, or something she may
say?
I think she’s the one who may get mad, but she’s always quick to be
kind,
She’s poured so many years into this tiny, little
mind.
She’s the one who’s given me so much more than I
recognize-
Not only the manner in which I speak, but my attitude, my heart,
my eyes.
She’s all these things, my best friend, and more special than she
knows-
Lord, help me show her everyday how much I love her
so!
By: Jessica Nicole Schafer
May 12, 2007

Part two.

Since I talked about the SUFFERING, now what? What about when the suffering doesn't stop? I had already told myself back in December that 2009 would be such an WONDERFUL YEAR. It had to be, right? I mean, after all the junk, the heartache, the sorrow......SURELY God will show mercy and let me have some happy times in 2009!! RIGHT?!?! Well.......not so much. In fact, MANY things have fallen apart since New Year's Eve. Not just with my family, but with many dear, dear friends of mine. WHY!?!?! "But God, I thought.....I thought THIS year would FINALLY be happy!?!?!?"



So, WHAT NOW? Prolonged suffering. And Waiting. Waiting for Him to deliver me. What do I do in the meantime? What if the suffering lasts many more months......what if (GULP).....my life is FULL of deep sorrow and grief until my very days here are over? Hard pill to swallow, that's what I've been thinking about. HOPEFULLY, that will not be the case. HOPEFULLY, I will get to BE IN the Promised Land, and not just SEE IT. That is my hope, but there is NOT a person who can answer that, only the LORD knows. So, I've been asking myself. "Jessica, WHAT IF this is to be the story of your life?". And you know what, yesterday I got a little piece, not the whole picture, but a little piece of hope. A little piece of what to do, you know, in case "WHAT IF" turned into a reality.



All my life I have been told of the LORD's lovingkindesses. How they never cease, they're new every morning. Lamentations tells us of this, a huge picture of Hope. We even have songs about it..."Great is Thy faithfulness....Morning by morning, new mercies I see...". (For me, lately I've been singing it "mourning by mourning".) Did you know the English language doesn't have an equivalent for that Hebrew word? His "lovingkindness" in Hebrew is such a good word, a loving word about God, we didn't have a word to fully describe it, so we called it "lovingkindess". WOW. That's good stuff. I learned that in my college days. ;) Didnt know you'd learn something here, did you? Haha. Moving on.......so I'd been thinking about His lovingkindness.....and how I'd been waiting on Him, MY DELIVERER to show up....how I've been wanting to see some more of this lovingkindness. So, I opened up that Bible, and I went looking. And do you know what? I found something. Let me share. Please read this first, because I don't want you to miss it.......



"I am the man who has seen affliction Because of the rod of HIS wrath........He has broken my bones.......In dark places He has made me dwell.......Even when I cry out and call for help, He shuts out my prayer........He has turned aside my ways and torn me to pieces.......He made the arrows of His quiver to enter into my inward parts.......My soul has been rejected from peace, I have forgotten happiness. So I say, 'My strength has perished, and so has my hope from the LORD.' Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:1-23NASB- (excerpts from)



Did you catch it? I never did until Sunday. I was able to find even more Hope to cling to when I did. For the writer, what brought hope? Did God come down and change all his circumstances? Did God audibly tell him He would "fix" everything? Did the brokenness change, did the suffering stop? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! But, we read, "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease......". Nothing changed, there was no change in what was happening around. He remembered the Lord's lovingkindnesses. He remembered His compassions never failing. He remembered His faithfulness. And if you've read the rest of that chapter, we find even more hope. But YET, we're reminded of this...."Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both good and ill go forth?" -Lamentations 3:38NASB-



That was the shift in thinking for me, in hoping, in my "theology"....which, thanks to my old professors I learned our theology should always be changing and growing.....never stay where it is. You see, I was freed from that thinking that I can hope in Him and rejoice in Him and worship Him whenever He comes to deliver me. Because what IF he doesn't come in this life, for me? What if MY deliverance will be the end, when we're all reunited with Him? Like I said before, HOPEFULLY that will not be the case. But if so, I learned the other day to lift up my face, look ahead, yet still look back and remember. Remember the suffering, remember the sorrow and the grief, remember the dire circumtances God has placed me in.....yet alongside that, remember Him. I learned to remember that I can't change what's going on around me, but I can change me. (Please don't misread, there are times in one's life when SIN is the reason for the suffering, they need to repent and stop the sinning.....but sometimes the suffering has nothing to do with that. It just happens. Look at Job, and hellooooo, JESUS!!!) But I can let Him change me. I can look back and remember Him, my Hope. I have to hope in Him even when NOTHING AROUND ME HAS CHANGED. Because if I don't, sorrow wins. Death wins. Loneliness wins. Grief wins. But if I just remember, though all around is the same.......I know that CHRIST has already won. And THAT is HOPE.