I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

CONFESSIONS FROM THE PAST.

I REMEMBER ABOUT SIX OR SEVEN YEARS AGO, I WAS WATCHING “7TH HEAVEN” AND THE DAD (WHO PLAYS A PASTOR) WAS WITH HIS WIFE. AS THEY WERE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER, THEY POPPED OUT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE TO HAVE A DRINK, JUST THE TWO OF THEM. I WAS APPALLED, I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT, A PASTOR, DRINKING!! WHAT A SINFUL MAN, WHAT AN UNHOLY ACT!!! WHAT IF SOMEONE SAW HIM??!!

I REMEMBER ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO, (ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS REMINDED ME OF THIS STORY) WHEN I WAS LIVING IN THE DORMS. IT WAS MY FIRST YEAR AT A PRIVATE CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY. I WAS TELLING A STORY ABOUT A PARTICULAR PERSON, AND HOW I KNEW THEY WEREN’T A CHRISTIAN. THIS FRIEND I WAS TALKING TO INNOCENTLY ASKED ME, “HOW DO YOU KNOW HE’S NOT A CHRISTIAN?”. I REPLIED SMUGLY, “BECAUSE HE SMOKES.”

I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I HAD THIS IDEA OF PERFECTION, AND I EXPECTED IT FROM EVERYONE AROUND ME. EVERYONE HAD TO FIT INTO THIS IDEA, TO MEET MY STANDARDS. EXCEPT MYSELF, OF COURSE. AND WHEN OTHERS DIDN’T MEET THESE QUALIFICATIONS FOR HOLINESS, THEN I JUST THOUGHT IN MY HEAD, “LORD HELP THEM”…BUT NOT IN A LOVING WAY, AS TO EDIFY…RATHER IN A SELF-RIGHTEOUS TONE, TO BELITTLE THEM.

THESE THINGS I DEALT WITH YEARS AGO, AND SOMETIMES, IF WE’RE NOT CAREFUL, THEY CAN CREEP RIGHT BACK IN AND SET UP CAMP IN OUR MINDS…IT HAPPENS WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW IT ALL. IT HAPPENS WHEN WE’RE REALLY PROUD OF OUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS, OUR OWN DECISIONS, OUR OWN CONVICTIONS. IT HAPPENS WHEN WE GOSSIP. IT HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN. IT HAPPENS AMONG THE BRETHREN. AND MY FRIENDS, IT’S SO EASY TO FALL INTO THAT TRAP.


LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE FORGIVENESS YOU LAVISH UPON ME, THOUGH I DESERVE IT IN NO WAY. THANK YOU FOR SAVING SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE SUCH JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS. THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF. PRAISE TO YOU FOR LOVING THE UNLOVABLE.

*SOMETIMES I HAVE TO SHOUT TO MYSELF, “LOOSEN UP!!!”. THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN THE LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT THINGS WE CHRISTIANS LIKE TO NITPICK AT!!!*

5 comments:

Thirdtimemomma said...

Been there done that..still recovering. :)

Andrea said...

Hello my girl! Yes, I did get your last email and I will try to get one out to you in the next day or so. I miss you too!!! :) But, I haven't hardly seen the computer in few days. How was your trip? I will be waiting to hear all about it!

Rebecca said...

Are YOU a preacher? I like your wording..."It happens among the brethren. My friends..." You're soooo cute!

I have been thinking about you a lot!! Mostly because I was at my neighbor's house on Saturday and I was talking to her future sister-in-law and we were talking about her upcoming wedding and I told her to make sure everyone that is supposed to be in the wedding is there BEFORE the wedding starts. Because, sometimes people don't show up. Like, people who are supposed to sing. And, sometimes, they show up AFTER the wedding. I mean, how could someone do that? There is only ONE wedding day. IF that happened, you could never really make that up, right? I mean, if I did that I would feel HORRIBLE. I don't know how I could ever make up for that. That would be so sad if that ever happened. Wouldn't it?

OK, I'll talk to you soon. love you LOTS!!

Brea said...

Goodness, it's nice to hear that other people struggle! I mean, not that I'm glad that you struggle, but I'm glad I'm not the only one with issues, lol!!

ben cassil said...

sooo...I guess I shouldn't send you that carton of Marlboros i got for you. They were just so red and purty. Oh well. Happy birthday to dylan.

I agree, though that this is something that is hard to let go of. I think it is also common practice in evangelical circles to sort of excuse this type of sin because it is so widespread and easy. I've even heard fellow xians describe this unloving attitude as righteouss indignation. But i think the scary thing for me, as i continue to struggle with this, is how Jesus tends to speak about some of the pharisees and the saducees, esp. in Luke and Matt, in regards to how they are the ones to be judged, implying that they are out of the community of God. These seem like the main perpertrators of this holier than thou sinful attitude.

I'm not sure if that made sense. oh well.