CONFESSIONS FROM THE PAST.

I REMEMBER ABOUT SIX OR SEVEN YEARS AGO, I WAS WATCHING “7TH HEAVEN” AND THE DAD (WHO PLAYS A PASTOR) WAS WITH HIS WIFE. AS THEY WERE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER, THEY POPPED OUT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE TO HAVE A DRINK, JUST THE TWO OF THEM. I WAS APPALLED, I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT, A PASTOR, DRINKING!! WHAT A SINFUL MAN, WHAT AN UNHOLY ACT!!! WHAT IF SOMEONE SAW HIM??!!

I REMEMBER ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO, (ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS REMINDED ME OF THIS STORY) WHEN I WAS LIVING IN THE DORMS. IT WAS MY FIRST YEAR AT A PRIVATE CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY. I WAS TELLING A STORY ABOUT A PARTICULAR PERSON, AND HOW I KNEW THEY WEREN’T A CHRISTIAN. THIS FRIEND I WAS TALKING TO INNOCENTLY ASKED ME, “HOW DO YOU KNOW HE’S NOT A CHRISTIAN?”. I REPLIED SMUGLY, “BECAUSE HE SMOKES.”

I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I HAD THIS IDEA OF PERFECTION, AND I EXPECTED IT FROM EVERYONE AROUND ME. EVERYONE HAD TO FIT INTO THIS IDEA, TO MEET MY STANDARDS. EXCEPT MYSELF, OF COURSE. AND WHEN OTHERS DIDN’T MEET THESE QUALIFICATIONS FOR HOLINESS, THEN I JUST THOUGHT IN MY HEAD, “LORD HELP THEM”…BUT NOT IN A LOVING WAY, AS TO EDIFY…RATHER IN A SELF-RIGHTEOUS TONE, TO BELITTLE THEM.

THESE THINGS I DEALT WITH YEARS AGO, AND SOMETIMES, IF WE’RE NOT CAREFUL, THEY CAN CREEP RIGHT BACK IN AND SET UP CAMP IN OUR MINDS…IT HAPPENS WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW IT ALL. IT HAPPENS WHEN WE’RE REALLY PROUD OF OUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS, OUR OWN DECISIONS, OUR OWN CONVICTIONS. IT HAPPENS WHEN WE GOSSIP. IT HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN. IT HAPPENS AMONG THE BRETHREN. AND MY FRIENDS, IT’S SO EASY TO FALL INTO THAT TRAP.


LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE FORGIVENESS YOU LAVISH UPON ME, THOUGH I DESERVE IT IN NO WAY. THANK YOU FOR SAVING SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE SUCH JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS. THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF. PRAISE TO YOU FOR LOVING THE UNLOVABLE.

*SOMETIMES I HAVE TO SHOUT TO MYSELF, “LOOSEN UP!!!”. THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN THE LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT THINGS WE CHRISTIANS LIKE TO NITPICK AT!!!*