I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Friday, January 11, 2008

TODAY WAS PRETTY TOUGH. AS IF THERE’S NOT ALREADY A TON OF STUFF THAT I’M DEALING WITH AND MY FAMILY’S DEALING WITH, SOME OTHER HAPPENINGS DIDN’T HELP MUCH. THAT’S WHAT I HATE ABOUT ALL THIS. IT SEEMS AS THOUGH OTHER THINGS WOULDN’T MATTER SO MUCH, BUT IT’S AS IF SOMETIMES OTHER THINGS ARE JUST MAGNIFIED. UGH. I MISS MY MOMMA. I MISS MY DADDY. I’M READY FOR HIM TO BE HERE WITH US. I THINK IT WILL HELP ALL OF US WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER.

JIL IS HERE STAYING WITH ME, AND SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME. DARRYL HAD TO DO AN EIGHT HOUR DRIVE ALONE YESTERDAY, AND I COULDN’T GO, SO HER BEING HER HELPED A LOT. AND SHE AND JUSTIN ARE COMING BACK NEXT WEEKEND. J WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH. AND WE KNOW THEY LOVE US.

HILARIE SENT ME SOME AMAZING CDS OF SO MANY DIFFERENT SONGS, AND I LOVE THEM. SHE LITERALLY WENT THROUGH AND PICKED SPECIFIC SONGS, THAT SHE KNEW WOULD HELP ME. AND ON TOP OF TAKING THE TIME FOR THAT, SHE TYPED OUT A FULL LETTER WITH A DESCRIPTION OF SAID SONGS…SHEESH. SHE LOVES ME, WHAT CAN I SAY?

FOR NOW, WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE HAPPENINGS THAT FOLLOW ONE OF THESE HORRIBLE SITUATIONS. TODAY WAS SO ODD, BECAUSE MY MOMMA AND DADDY’S THINGS WERE BROUGHT HERE, WE’RE KEEPING A LOT OF THEIR FURNITURE, AND STORING THE REST AND MY SISTER’S GETTING SOME. IT WAS SUCH AN INDESCRIBABLE FEELING TO SEE THEM BRINGING MY MOMMA’S THINGS IN HERE. I MEAN, WHY WERE THESE THINGS BEING BROUGHT HERE? THIS IS HER STUFF, TAKE IT BACK TO HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THAT’S WHAT I KEPT THINKING. AND THEN LAST NIGHT THROUGH THE DAY, THROUGH ALL THE FRUSTRATION, I KEPT WANTING TO CALL HER AND JUST TELL HER ABOUT EVERYTHING. I WANTED TO CALL HER AND TELL HER HOW UPSET I WAS ABOUT SO MANY THINGS, AND HOW I COULDN’T REALLY DEPEND ON MANY OTHER PEOPLE, BUT I COULD ALWAYS DEPEND ON HER. SO MANY TIMES, ALL DAY LONG. I DO THAT CONSTANTLY…WANT TO CALL HER. EVERYTIME ANY LITTLE THING HAPPENS DURING THE DAY, I WANT TO CALL HER AND TELL HER ABOUT IT. I CAN’T EXPLAIN THE HURT. THERE’S AN AMAZING BOOK BY C.S. LEWIS CALLED “A GRIEF OBSERVED” THAT HAS REALLY HELPED ME. IT’S A SHORT READ, BUT IT IS AS IF HE WROTE DOWN SO MANY OF MY THOUGHTS YEARS AGO, BEFORE I WAS EVER BORN. DARRYL KEPT TELLING ME AFTER I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT THAT I WAS SOUNDING LIKE C.S. LEWIS. SO, I WAS INTRIGUED ENOUGH TO READ IT. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS TO ANYONE WHO HAS LOST A TRULY CLOSE, LOVED ONE.

I’M SURE THERE’S MORE I COULD BLOG ABOUT, BUT THAT’S IT FOR NOW. BUSY, BUSY DAY AHEAD. AND EVENING, TOO. HUG YOUR FAMILY. DON’T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED. I’VE SEEN PEOPLE DO THAT SO MUCH, AND IT ACHES MY HEART. I’M SO FRUSTRATED WITH THAT. I KNOW YOU CAN’T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THAT. I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR PARENTS, THEIR SPOUSES, AND THEIR CHILDREN FOR GRANTED. IT’S SICKENING. BE THANKFUL FOR WHOM YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN.

3 comments:

Thirdtimemomma said...

Im so sorry that JP couldnt come with Darryl to OK. Hugs?... Still prayin.

Andrea said...

Love you!

Sarah said...

Still praying for you...hugs!