I John 3:18

All original content copyright Jessica Nicole Schafer, 2007-2016.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Courage to Grieve.

There is something our Sweet Bean always says regarding courage. 

“Courage doesn’t mean that you’re not scared.  It means you’re scared out of your mind, but you do what you have to do.”

Since the Deep Sadness, so much has happened.  It seems like minutes ago that we received the phone call about her.  Yet it seems like ages ago.  That is one way grief is so excruciating.  We look back and realize how long we've been going on without them.  Yet we want to always go back to that moment just before tragedy happened....when they were still here with us.
But in life, we are moving forward.  There's nothing we can do about that, that's just the way things are.  How hard it is to deal with the sadness and loneliness of grief.  How heartbreaking it is to let the tears flow when we just want her back.  How haunting it is to remember the face and the voice of the loved one we miss every moment.  How painful it is to see people take each other for granted when they have this precious gift of life radiating from them.

The work of grief I’ve done all these years has done nothing but give me courage, it's given me the great courage to grieve.

In the weakness of grief, we recognize how vulnerable we are.  We affirm that we need one another.  We understand the beauty of this life.  We learn to carry one another, which is more sacred than we can imagine.

Grief makes us vulnerable.
And vulnerability is not a flaw.
It's through being vulnerable that LOVE is born.  And as I've written before, grief goes hand in hand with love.

As we do the fun planning for our Offspring's big TENTH birthday party, there will be moments of grief.  I know from the past few years that they can blow in like a strong breeze out of nowhere.  I know they can be heavy.  I know they may not come until another time.  Either way, they will come.  That is another way of grief.

Grief is like the night...dark but always approaching,

Like the day...full of expectations, but often filled with heartache,

Like the moon...sitting in darkness, yet reflecting the light,

Like the sun...always there, but sometimes hidden by the storm below.

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